18

Ian

I was able to calm down first, and I met Mabel's upset gaze, hating when she was upset but thinking she was the most adorable when she was. "I apologize, My Lady. I completely misunderstood the situation and steamrolled you again. I will—I am trying my best to work on that, but you understand how much I have on my plate always."

"I do, and you do apologize at least, but I do not understand what is so comical."

"I own the largest supplier of ink in the kingdom," I explained, nodding when Mabel and Andre looked at me with shock. "I took over the top supplier when I became an adult because of the way he gouged people. The price of ink was ridiculous when the process has long since been streamlined and he blocked others from the market because he was a marquis."

"And you were the only one who could step all over his pompous ass," Colin said with a grin. "Ahhh, that was so nice it was worth the ulcer you gave me."

I snickered, remembering how stressed we'd both been at taking on a giant as my first real venture. "I thought you knew that and that I was the supplier for the police. That was part of why I did it, to lower the budget drastically and we could afford more officers. I apologize. I thought the commander knew that but—"

"I was still recovering and was not the commander yet when that happened," Andre muttered. "I knew we got a great rate, but I thought it was because it was bulk. No one knows it's you."

"I thought you did know—you should," I replied. "But no, I do not boast about it because it would look self-serving. People would absolutely twist it around now that I was using my position to fill my pockets." I waited until they both nodded. "But I do want to make a deal with you, buy the formula or lease it and introduce it as a product."

"I had not really thought of that yet," Mabel muttered. "I really just invented it so Andre could get more sleep instead of working until the morning copying reports."

It was like a shot through the heart. Not only that she cared that much for him but that she said his name so easily when she refused to say mine.

Clearly, I needed to step up my game.

"Of course, and I know your focus is not money," I said gently. "And this part was all a surprise. I want it for all the stations as well. Plus, all the poor court scribes."

"Aides and workers in the different minister offices," Colin added. "I do not see a reason to limit it to government workers since I do not think it has a way to be used evilly, but it's a place to start for the people who would cry in relief for the help."

Mabel nodded along with what we were saying. "I am not against helping, but I need to think on it. I—too many new things in one day." She gave me a shy look. "Might we talk about it later in private?"

Andre did not like that, but I only knew that because I knew him.

Honestly, this wasn't about him besides I didn't want him to steal Mabel away from me. It wasn't my competitive nature at all.

I just wanted her, especially after I was able to open up to her, alcohol involved or not. That was huge for me, and I couldn't even talk to Colin like that. I needed her in my life just for that alone.

"Of course. Would you join me for dinner tonight? There's a restaurant that I have been wanting to try that—"

"If it's a nice one, there will be a problem with that like I had trying to enter the other noble district," she told me. She explained what happened and my heart hurt for her.

"I will make sure there are none of those problems," I promised her.

"Ummmm." She frowned and studied her teacup before letting out a slow breath. "I do not feel ready for that setting. I know I will have to be reintroduced to society but…" She seemed so sad and down on herself.

"Your baby steps," I said gently. "Yes, good that you are putting yourself first. Truly."

She beamed at me. "Would you like to join my house for dinner? I think we're having lamb tonight."

"I honestly did not know our maid could cook like that," Colin said yet again. "It's a shame to have her talents wasted, but I understand her position."

"I would love to have dinner at your house, and I adore lamb," I told her. "I will bring dessert."

"Perfect."

"What about the opera?" Kathy asked, glancing between us, but her gaze firm in locking with mine. "You love the opera, Ian. That would be a safe introduction since you have a box reserved, right? People could not hassle her like in a restaurant."

I was going to kiss her. She was helping me and saw Andre already had the advantage.

"Oh, I have always wanted to go to the opera," Mabel said excitedly. "But if we go alone, it would seem like something more and people would talk about that then."

"Colin and I will join you," Kathy said easily. "There's a performance next week that I wanted to see, but dragging my brother away from work is difficult. But if his boss goes, he will not feel guilty."

She truly was a mastermind.

"That sounds great," I agreed, shooting Colin a look to agree or I would pound him. He did, but the man hated the opera.

We had a lovely lunch, and I should have felt bad that I kept monopolizing Mabel, but I didn't. We were talking strategy and ideas for her buying out the company and I loved it. She had fresh ideas that would not only change that market with her products, but the way stores behaved with customers.

"Part of it is because of Andre," she admitted, smiling at him.

The comical look on Andre's face was amusing. "Me?"

"Yes, that shop you took me to. Not only was it delicious and I want to go back, but you ordered and paid and picked it up when ready. It wasn't the normal focus on one customer from start to finish. It gave me several ideas since the products take a few weeks to steep."

"You are planning a waiting list?" Kathy asked.

"No, an order list," Mabel corrected. "Almost how you order a dress and it's put together. People can order from upcoming batches, and we can inform them when it's ready or maybe offer delivery for a small fee."

"Why do that when…" I blinked at her. "You are worried someone will buy your entire stock at one time and turn around to resell it or toss it so it does not ruin their market share."

"Yes, yes, I am."

Genius. She was absolutely amazing. That would absolutely safeguard against what she worried about. Plus, she would have a list of her clients and more.

"There are also things I am planning on selling that will need a record for accountability," she muttered. "I am hoping to make a sleeping tonic, but if you can just buy a case of them without even giving your name or something, then women could be hurt. If it's sold to a house, then we know who to look at. But this is not just for nobles."

"I would start only with products that cannot be misused until the new brand is built up," Andre suggested. "Less fingers get pointed at you if something does go wrong or people abuse the products."

"I agree completely. This is why I am setting the system up early so people do not balk at it later or act like I am tracking them."

It was all so smart and impressive that I fell for her a bit more.

After lunch, I jumped right on what I needed to so she would have the help she needed. I sent someone to purchase an array of popular treats from the best bakery in town along with picking me up some flowers for Mabel… And hopefully, she would accept them this time.

I received word right before I had to leave that the business appraiser had already arranged a time with Viscount Bryd tomorrow to start the process of what was needed. He suggested a good faith contract be started so the company could close with the announcement of new products and rebranding coming since I was rushing everything.

I would bring it up to Mabel and agreed. She wanted the company, and they wanted to get out of the mess they were in. There was no reason to dance around the match made.

Mabel came out to the gate when I rang the bell, glancing at the flowers and blushing. "That's nice of you to bring those for dinner."

"I brought them for you, not because I was invited for dinner," I clarified. "I brought dessert because of dinner. I brought these for you because you are a beautiful woman and I am happy I get to spend time with you."

"Thank you," she whispered as she accepted them.

"I am blessed to see you twice in one day," I muttered as I leaned in and kissed her cheek. "Thank you for giving me such a nice day, Mabel."

Her breath caught in her throat, but she didn't shrink away from me, simply blushing. I took it as a win.

I was disappointed to find out that just she and I weren't having dinner, but Mabel, her guards, Colin's maid, one of the officers who lived with her… And me. Still, it was an invite she made on her own.

"We have more than enough for your driver and knights, Your Grace," she said. "We can fit them at the table. Probably."

"I could not inconvenience you like that," I replied.

"We might be a bit light on lamb for them since the countess told me once she returned, but I made extras expecting them, Your Grace," Colin's maid promised.

Fine, might as well bring in the whole lot. At least I would get to speak with Mabel privately after. It was fun though and everyone pleasant even if hesitant since I was there.

We went up to her workroom after and she was excited to hand me something.

"Drink this," she ordered.

I didn't even ask what it was, taking the tonic bottle and tossing it back. I gasped at what I felt. It was a delicious cucumber lime which was lovely, but drinking it felt as if I'd jumped in the coldest waters ever. My entire body felt refreshed and revived but also a bit overwhelmed.

"It's amazing, right?" she whispered. "Violetta gave it to me last night in my dream because I admitted how tired I was. I need to get healthier and move more, but it's not something I can do overnight. I was down on myself that it was not happening faster and I was so tired when Andre can work all night and does all of the time. So she gave me that."

"That's really amazing. All of it is, Mabel."

"Well, what I have to tell you is not amazing," she said, her mood instantly deflating. "My stomach soured at the idea of doing the ink with you. I do not know why. I think—I do not think the goddess wants me to hand any of this over. I do not know, but it was like an instant stomachache, but then it was fine when I said we could talk later. That's too weird to not be a sign, right?"

I opened my mouth but then closed it, trying again but then deciding to address something else first because she was getting upset. I moved my hand to her arm. "Mabel, I am not upset. I want what's best. Please, I will not get angry at any of this. I am shocked. It's as if I just cannot catch up to the carriage with all of this."

"I feel the same," she muttered. "And it's a bit much. Saints are supposed to have divine power, right? Like the priests who heal. So what if part of everything I make is me? What if the ink will not work without me having a hand in it? That was the part—it seems silly with ink though."

I blew out a slow breath and moved her to sit on the stool before leaning my hip against the counter. "I agree, but if you look at the history of saints, their role is supposed to bring glory to the goddess. It makes sense that she would not want it just passed along."

"That seems petty for a loving god," she hedged.

I wasn't going to say out loud how I viewed great power, especially as a member of the royal family, but I'd seen it warp and twist in ways I didn't know even a god could avoid. Our teachings of the fights between the gods made that clear as well.

"Maybe it's not a choice now but the way the system was set up," I said instead. "Or to work, it has to come from your hand in some way." Something hit me and I smiled at her. "Or this is the goddess's way to protect you like you were upset with her for not doing before. If you have to be involved and cannot simply sell it to me, we are involved together."

"I do not understand," she admitted.

"I'll have to order vast amounts of your ingredients and have them put in a warehouse. And what were you just saying you were going to need?"

Her eyes went wide. "A warehouse. Oh my! Yes, but that's horrible of me to use you as a shield like that."

I snorted. "Not for as much as I will make off that ink even selling it reasonably. Attorneys will want it. So many will want it, Mabel. Even with it expiring after two weeks and having to write slower. But it gives you cover for whatever else you want to do. And no one will mess with my orders like they would yours."

"Why would you do that? I mean, that's a lot of hassle for money when you are rich."

"For you, Mabel," I whispered as I leaned in and cupped her cheek. "Because you are worth having that faith in. You deserve that help. You are doing all of this to help people in the kingdom I love, the kingdom my grandfather ruled. I would give anything to help someone helping our kingdom, but all of that aside, I do it because it's you."

I slowly leaned in and brushed my lips over hers, eating up the soft gasp she gave. It thrilled me and made me hard to hear that sound. But I couldn't hurt her, so I pulled away to give her air.

She moved her hand to my chest. "Ian, I do not want to get married again. Not ever."

It was hard not to take that personally as if she was saying I could ever be the same as her ex-husband, but that wasn't it at all. And I needed to understand that or I didn't deserve her.

"I understand. I completely understand you feeling that way after what you have been through. But your answer could change one day. It might not and that's okay too, Mabel. You went through hell, and if someone cannot understand that it would leave scars on you, then they do not deserve you. I have a lot of scars too, and I think we can be a good match for understanding each other."

She tried three times to say something, but I sensed how overwhelmed she was.

"All I need to know is if you do not like me. I'll figure out a way to leave you alone if that's your answer."

She snorted, meeting my eyes then. "You would figure out a way to change my answer. We both know that."

I chuckled. "See, you understand me that well already. That's why I need you in my life. Do not say no that I cannot get to know you better. That's all I want right now." I brushed my lips over hers again. "Please, Mabel? Can you really say you do not like me?"

"You confuse me," she whispered and slid off the stool. "And you scare me. You are too pushy."

I felt a knife in my heart when tears filled her eyes. "I do not mean to be. I just… I want you to look at me, see me as Ian, not the grand duke. I feel something when you look at me, Mabel."

"Then you have to act less like the royal family and not boss around me. I like when I feel like I am spending time with Ian. Even if you'd had alcohol, I saw Ian. I liked him and I would spend more time with him." She quickly wiped away tears. "Please, Ian. I have always done what everyone told me to. I need to start finding the answers on my own so I can stop hating myself!"

I hugged her tightly, kissing her hair. She'd been doing so much and acting so unaffected that it was easy to forget how much she'd been through and it wasn't all in the past for her. "I will check with you. I will always check with you. No more steamrolling. Please, do not be—I cannot be the one to make you cry, Mabel."

My hawk was upset as I realized I was sensing too much from her. I lifted her in my arms and she snuggled up to me.

"You need to rest, lovely," I whispered. "Tell me where to take you so you can lay down for a bit."

"You did not ask already," she argued.

"You can boss me around when you are worried about my health. That's the line we get to cross over when we care."

"That's fair," she agreed. "Just a few minutes. I was too excited to speak with the viscount to sleep much."

"I did ask where to take you instead of just walking into your room," I reminded her.

"That's a good start," she mumbled before falling asleep. She was overworked and exhausted from all of the ups and downs.

I brought her to the lounge and got her settled on the sofa before using the desk there to write some letters. One was to the land agent I used saying I needed another large warehouse and I wanted it close to the others I had in the capital so my knights could easily guard it as well. It would be for Mabel, but he didn't need to know that.

There were several other letters I quickly penned and had one of my knights send out.

Then I realized what could help her most that my cousin had access to.

"Could the king announce that he's heard the people's concerns and a fertility specialist who has worked with another ruler is coming to check him and the queen out?" Mabel asked quietly.

I turned to her and saw her sitting up and staring out the window.

"I am most scared about that, Ian. That's a huge undertaking and risk. It's what is stressing me out most. Even if it works, there could be complications later and it will be my head. I did not survive hell only to be killed for something not my fault. I cannot live under that pressure again that I could die any day."

"I'll handle it," I swore to her. I nodded when she looked at me. "I am stronger than Gerald and he knows it. I would win." I mentally flinched when she frowned, not understanding how it truly worked in our family or what we were. "I think that's a very smart idea and will buy time to make sure this is safe for Louisa. It gives us cover for after."

"And stop blaming her," she whispered. "Two people make a baby, Ian. I am terrified that I know something to help her but the problem is him. What happens to me then?" Tears were in her eyes again. "Men can be the reasons babies are not made as well."

Normally, that was a hundred percent true, but she didn't know we weren't exactly human and that wasn't the problem. I promised her that I agreed and it would be a way to help Louisa, so Gerald would do it.

"Let's have some dessert that I brought," I suggested when she seemed lost. "It's the bakery I love most in the capital. I brought several of my favorites."

"I want to know what you like," she agreed, and hearing that gave me all of the hope.

She ended up loving the strawberry tart that I could eat the whole thing of myself. She giggled when I stole a bite as if I didn't have a piece on my own plate. It was nice. It was really nice spending time with her.

"Can I get the ball rolling on several things you'll need?" I asked as if I hadn't already done it. "There are things I can do easily that you cannot. That's all I want to help with. There are things you can do that I cannot like supplying Colin and me with those tonics. I feel like I could work hours more, Mabel, completely refreshed."

She flinched. "You maybe should not have had it after dinner. It might keep you up if you do not burn off the energy."

I wanted to burn off the energy bedding her, but I wouldn't. Unfortunately.

Still, she agreed and thanked me for the help. She promised to make tonics for me.

I bid her goodnight, glad when she was happy that she had a houseful of treats to share or simply enjoy. After I arrived home, the first thing I did was open a window and change forms to fly to the palace.

Gerald hated when I was so presumptuous with him and treated the palace like my home even if I had been born there as well. However, he never risked anything that could get us caught, and people thought I had a hawk that delivered messages. So that gave us cover and he always left a few windows unlocked for me.

He was in the sitting room working while Louisa was reading something when I tapped on the window with my talons. Normally, he'd be in his study, but I would guess he was trying to spend time with Louisa and beg her forgiveness still. He let me in and I shifted back.

I told him everything that Mabel had said to me from what she felt about the ink to the vitality tonic—everything. "She's terrified, Gerald. You are known for being ruthless. She could help Louisa get pregnant and—I hate to even say—she could lose the baby. Who would you instantly blame?"

"Her," he sighed. "In my grief and upset, I would absolutely blame her."

"Exactly. She wants to see what else the goddess might give her. Maybe this is a test for you to learn more patience." I moved over to him and dropped to one knee so he looked at me. "Please, never hurt her. Please, you have to swear it to me, Gerald. I think I need her like you need Louisa. Please? I have never asked you for anything like this or to—"

"Cousin, I would never hurt a saint," he whispered as he patted my shoulder. "But I would also never hurt the one you are developing love for like this. I swear it." He let out a slow breath and looked at Louisa. "That cover is smart."

"You would take hits if you hinted it could be you," she said.

"So be it! I cannot keep watching how they talk about you like you are a fucking mare. I cannot do… I cannot, Louisa."

"I cannot be mad at you when you are so adorable," she whispered and moved over to the couch to hug him, ignoring the books and papers that had been next to him.

I moved back to my seat and gave them a few moments to make up.

"What can we do to help her gain her confidence and test more?" Gerald asked.

"I need whatever you can get on being a saint. I think part of it is that she still doubts it. She never had support to think it real, and with everything else—she's struggling. That does no one any good."

"That's easy enough but needs to be done quietly."

"Yes, but we could send the temple on a bit of a wild goose chase," Louisa said. "We heard whispers of someone in the west smelling violets and we did not know if that was still part of being a saint. What is the updated information they have so we can pass along the right information should we hear it?"

"Smart. Very smart. I will handle it," Gerald promised. "Plus, whatever we have in the library. What else?"

"She's being blocked at too many turns. She was not allowed in one of the noble districts." I nodded when they both looked disgusted. "Someone jumped on that and—she needs friends. People have to be more scared of who supports her than willing to hurt her to please the marquis."

"I can more than handle that," the queen said easily. "She will have to be strong, but having tea with me publicly would say a lot."

I nodded, completely agreeing. I also told them about the opera idea. Plus, people wouldn't whisper around Louisa even the way they would around me. It was progress and a few damn good plans for sure.