Chapter 25

A s Cadogan urged his mount along Wimpole Street, he glared at the path ahead.

While he'd been off, taking the first meeting of his latest assignment, Raina, now Raina Cadogan, his wife , had fled to see her brother.

He heard nothing beyond the furious beat of his pulse in his ears. The cacophony of everyday street sounds came as if Cadogan were submerged ten meters underwater.

What was more, she'd chosen to meet Argyll at Forbidden Pleasures.

Coming out of his stirrups, he urged the stallion faster.

Forbidden Fucking Pleasures— in the seediest part of London, where any gruesome fate could have met her.

Cadogan breathed in and out through flared nostrils.

She'd revolted against the men he'd assigned her.

The moment the mount drew to a halt in the cobblestone courtyard, Cadogan jumped down and tossed the reins to the waiting groom.

"My wife, Ainsworth," Cadogan demanded; already heading for the main house. "Lady Killburn?"

"Returned she did, Mr. Cadogan," he called after him. "Can't say where she is now. Mauley brought her…"

With the distance Cadogan quickly built between them, the rest of Ainsworth's explanation grew faint and then turned to nothing.

The groom didn't know Raina's location at this precise moment and neither did Cadogan; because this morning, he'd run off like a scared, fucking, child and gone to attend important matters.

She is here, he reminded himself.

Safe.

The closer he got to his residence, however, Cadogan's pulse continued to race.

My God, the infuriating, brash, minx. What had she been thinking ?

"She wasn't," he muttered under his breath.

"…Please, don't push me away, Severin…"

His chest tightened. Didn't she know, if any harm befell her, he'd be destroyed?

At the side entrance of his house, Cadogan staggered to a stop.

He put his palms upon the green-painted door panels, to keep himself from pitching face-first, and stared blankly at his badly shaking hands. These same hands that'd taken lives and saved them, that were now useless to him.

When…? How…?

But he knew.

Now, he did.

His sage, spirited, wife though, knew all along.

"…You want to believe I betrayed you because you think it will be easier. But you know the truth, Severin. You're scared of us…you fear this…"

From the first moment she'd outwitted Cadogan, he'd lost himself completely to Raina, Proud Princess, now Queen of his once useless heart. That organ whose only purpose before her, had been to sustain his bleak life, now beat entirely, for her.

He waited for the rush of terror that didn't come. The only dread he'd known this day had been when Chase forced his way into Cadogan's meeting and informed him Raina had rushed off to Forbidden Pleasures .

In that instant, Cadogan hadn't cared she'd defied his orders—hell, she'd never followed them, anyway. Or been angered she'd met with Argyll.

He'd worried only about her and her safety.

All the rest: his goddamned business, his irate client, his feud with her brother, could go straight to hell.

He loved her.

Steady for the first time in his miserable, lonely, life, Cadogan straightened.

Ripping the side door open, he raced inside.

The guard stationed there immediately trained a weapon on him, until he realized who'd stormed the house. "Mr. C-Cadogan. My apologies."

"Worry not, my good man. As long as you lower your pistol."

The younger man, Ross, eyed Cadogan like he'd lost his mind, and maybe he had.

If so, he never wished to be sane again.

He nudged his chin pointedly.

Ross followed Cadogan's gaze downward; his cheeks, flushing, Ross promptly dropped his weapon.

"Where is my wife?"

"In your rooms, Mr. Cadogan."

He took off running.

"…Have I ever been anything but clear my only interest in you is of a carnal nature?"

A piteous moan spilled from his lips. God, what a bloody bastard he'd been.

Moreso, it hadn't been strictly this day.

"…I am not your friend. We never will be. I'm not here as some confidante you can talk to about your hopes and dreams and wishes or gossip…"

Severin tried—and failed—to swallow.

In his head, he went over every last minute he'd spent with Raina.

"…You're nothing but an assignment, Princess…"

He flinched.

"…Next time you have an urge, I'll be more than happy to take that on as another job. Just so you don't have to go dashing about London to get your itch scratched…"

What exactly should she, or could she, have known with everything that'd come to pass between them?

He hated himself.

He abhorred the things he'd done.

He loathed what he'd become.

But most, he despised himself for having hurt a woman he'd give his soul for. She'd been the one person who'd ever loved him. She'd not feared him. Raina didn't expect nor wanted Cadogan to be the monster, men paid fortunes to.

She saw him as a man ; a flesh and blood human-being, to be loved and teased and talked with and spoken to. A person , not a killer, who deserved happiness.

Of an absolute certainty, he didn't deserve her .

A bloody lifetime later, he reached the hall that led to his rooms. The guard there briefed him.

"Her Ladyship is in your chambers."

"I'm aware," his usually steady voice, came strangled. "Is she—?"

"Her Ladyship walked in on her own two feet."

Oh, God, thank you.

He finally released the breath he'd been holding.

"Mr. Mauley is—"

Cadogan blew ahead. "I don't give two shites what Mauley is doing."

Breathing hard, he came to a stop outside his rooms. He couldn't allow her to see him like this, all half-mad and blustering. When he admitted what an unmitigated ass he'd been and told her how she owned every part of him, and how much he loved her, he'd be calm.

Composed once more, he slipped into the room.

His calm went up in a blazing flame of smoke.

A softly smiling Raina sat perched upon the leather sofa in the offices he'd had constructed in—

Cadogan's nostrils flared.

Mauley on a knee beside Raina, cradled one of her delicate hands in his larger ones. They remained oblivious to his presence.

Unlike this morning when Cadogan left his new bride in tears, for Mauley she wore a smile.

There came a burning sensation in Cadogan's chest and gut neither of which had anything to do with his mad gallop through Town and flat-out sprint to reach Raina.

He'd lied to the guard stationed in the hall. Cadogan did give a shite.

Raina glanced up over the top of Mauley's head and noticed Cadogan's presence first. The cheer-filled smile on her pillowy-soft lips, wilted. "S-Severin."

She'd gift her smile to another man. No, you allowed her to gift her smile to another man.

Pain built in his jaw from how tight he clenched his teeth.

Mauley, always on alert, with fucking hearing and scent to rival a bloody hound, turned belatedly, because he'd been transfixed by the sight of Cadogan's wife.

Cadogan pinned a death stare on his secretary. "Get your fucking hands off my wife, Mauley, before I cut them from your person."

Mauley went white as a cadaver. He released Raina quickly and stumbled to his feet.

"F-Forgive me. I was tending—"

" No one puts their hands upon my wife, Mauley," he warned on a fierce, sibilant whisper. "Not unless he wants to be fed his fingers for lunch. Is that understood?"

"Ye—"

"Get the hell out," Cadogan issued the virulent directive, lest he do something mad like tear his secretary apart.

The other man bowed deep at the waist and hied it past Cadogan.

As soon as his secretary had both feet outside the room, Cadogan shoved the heel of his boot hard into the wood panel.

The doorframe shook from the force of that drive.

Staring at him with stricken eyes, Raina cradled one of her soft palms, in the other.

When he'd spied Mauley touching her and Raina's sacred lips tipped up for another man, Cadogan had wanted but one thing: to throw his young, virile, secretary out so Cadogan could be alone with his wife.

Alone in the quiet, they openly stared at one another.

He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out.

His brave, bold, wife always had words enough for the both of them.

"You are upset," she said softly.

He grunted. "I am not happy."

"Yes, but in fairness, you, yourself said that you neither laugh nor smile. Therefore, couldn't we agree there's no difference between this day and others?"

The panic and rage that'd sent him into a tear finally eased now that he had his own eyes on his wife.

He rested his back against the door and folded his arms at his chest. "I'm not upset, though."

Raina dampened her lips.

"I'm furious."

She lowered her gaze to her lap.

"With myself, Raina," he said somberly. " With myself ."

Raina whipped her head up quickly; surprise filled her big, blue, expressive eyes.

He eased next to her on the sofa. "I—"

Cadogan's carefully planned profession died on his lips. Rage blackened his vision.

Raina followed his stare to her bruised and swollen hand. She moved her other palm to conceal her injury, but it was too late. The image of those marks would be forever seared in his brain.

That's why Mauley had been tending her. Just as Mauley had accompanied her to Argyll's. Two instances too many of when Cadogan hadn't been there for his wife, and another man had.

Never again.

"Argyll put his hands on you," he said emotionlessly. "I'll kill him."

"No," Raina explained on a rush. "I put my hands on him ."

Cadogan stared perplexed at his beautiful bride.

Lifting the bruised appendage Raina formed a light fist and made a slow show of demonstrating what she'd done to the duke. "Like that."

An all-pervading wave of pride unfurled in him.

Cadogan fell into a place he'd been before—that of surgeon . The difference being, he'd only before tended his own wounds. Now, he cared for Raina, his wife.

While he carefully probed searched for indication of any breaks, he felt Raina's gaze on him.

"Mr. Mauley indicated it is not broken," she murmured.

He stole a peak at his wife. " Mr. Cadogan is going to verify for himself."

A smile twitched at her lips.

God, he could watch her do nothing but smile all day.

Cadogan finished his examination. " Your husband has confirmed there are no breaks."

Fetching a cloth from the porcelain bowl, Mauley had called up, Cadogan rang the cold fabric out. He continued to wrap and unwrap the cool dressings until the frigid water went lukewarm.

Cadogan tossed the last cloth into the bowl.

They sat next to each other with the quiet.

"So, you hit Argyll?" he finally said.

She nodded. "In his cheek."

Oh, God. She'd gone to confront her brother.

Raina cleared her throat. "I went to call him out for the lies he told, and the games he played with you and with me. I know you don't believe me, but—"

Cupping her cheek, Cadogan angled Raina's face toward his and touched his lips to hers in a gentle meeting.

He drew back.

"I believe you, Raina."

Desire and confusion left a cloud in her eyes. "You believe me?" she repeated back slowly, like she was afraid to believe the words he'd spoken.

"I believe you." A swell of emotion so great filled him, he struggled to get out all the things he needed to say. "You were right when you said, I knew the truth. It was easier for me to believe the lie because I was afraid. I have never felt anything like this, nor cared for…"

No.

He held her tear-filled gaze. "I have never loved before you, Raina."

"You love me ?" she whispered.

"I love you beyond belief," he said hoarsely. "With all I am, and everything I have, and everything I hope to be—"

Raina touched her lips to his and he kissed her in return, sweetly, softly.

"I haven't been tender enough with you when we've made love," he said between each time their mouths met. "I'll fix that now."

"But I like it when you are rough," she breathlessly reminded.

His body ached. "God, you are a gift in every way." He drank of her mouth. "Why don't we agree, I'll make love to you in every way?"

Raina eased away. "You said you don't make love, that you—"

"Yes, I did say that," he cut in, not wanting to hear her use that crude word he'd taught her to describe what they'd done. "And I didn't. But," Cadogan cupped her tenderly by the nape, "I've only ever made love to you, because you're the only woman I've ever, or will ever, have loved."

Tears shimmered in her eyes.

"Mm. Mm." He gently scolded. "No tears, love. Only happiness, now."

"Only happiness," she agreed.

"Though, I should warn you, no one else will be able to bring you to smile. I plan to fill your every day with such happiness, this expression you wear now, will never leave your face."

Half-laughing, half-sobbing, Raina twined her hands about Cadogan's nape and touched her brow to his.

Too quick, the light in her eyes went out. Worry creased her brow.

"A frown?" He teased the tip of his index finger against the corner of her mouth. "I'm failing miserably. I muse try harder. Very well, I accept your challenge and will find much pleasure in doing so."

"Sev—"

Cadogan kissed the rest of his name from her lips, as he did, he palmed one of the perfect swells of her breast. Through her gown, he teased the pebbled tip.

Raina panted softly. She wanted him. And he, he'd never not burn for her.

Never breaking contact with her mouth, he drew her skirts up, exposing her limbs, inch by inch.

She brought her hands up between them, stopping him. "There is something I must speak with you about, Cadogan," she said, winded.

"Are you not enjoying my touch, love?" he purred, nuzzling at her neck.

A whispery sigh filtered from her lips. "No. I am. Very much s-so." Raina's voice climbed a pitch as he palmed her between her legs. "B-but you'd mentioned your brother—"

There it was again. The killer of all great cockstands—mention of his brother. Cadogan removed his hand from that sweetest place.

"I don't want him here between us," he breathed, making to take her mouth once more.

Raina edged away. "He must be."

With an air of finality, Raina stood.

Cadogan stared at her.

The emotion and desire that'd gripped him faded at the grim set to Raina's features.

Suddenly registering the gravitas of the moment, he joined her, on his feet. "What is it, Raina?"

"I spoke to my brother."

"Yes, I'm aware." He took a moment. "And did…something happen?" Her answer would determine how the other man died.

"He didn't hurt me, Severin."

"I didn't say he did."

"I know what you're thinking."

Yes, she did. He'd claimed to know her thoughts, when in truth, this slip of a goddess knew him even better than he knew himself.

"I went to Gregory and demanded he give me the information he'd promised you."

Her words penetrated.

"The name," she said, when he didn't respond. "Of the one who betrayed you."

His blood ran cold. "Raina," he said quietly. "I need you to listen to me carefully. I do not want you involved."

"I already am, Severin." Raina looked him square in the eyes. "I am your wife. Until dea—"

"Forever," he said tightly. "Leave it as: ‘until forever'." He'd not be able to live in a world without her in it.

"Forever, then," she murmured her ascent. "Gregory did have the information you wished for, but never intended to share it, because he believed knowing would do you no good."

Cadogan followed along closely.

"My brother indicated he always intended for us to marry."

Before, that'd grated. Now, he owed the other man a vow of fealty for the gift he'd entrusted to Cadogan.

"But he agreed, it wasn't his place to withhold from you the name of your betrayer. I expect he, at last, realized the harm he'd put you—and indirectly, me—in by not sharing."

She knew the identity of his betrayer.

Where only eager bloodlust would have filled him before, a steady dread lived in its place.

"Raina," he urged, his heart thundering. "Who—?"

"I am so sorry, Severin," she whispered, her voice breaking.

Raina held out a piece of folded paper from her pocket.

With a calm he didn't feel, Cadogan took the tiny scrap and opened it.

Blood rushed to his ears.

"I love you so much, Severin. I am your family. Me, and Millie, and the children you and I will one day have, and Gregory , even, if you so wish."

"Thurso," he said dumbly. His own voice came like it traveled down a long corridor and reached his ears on a delay.

"This is why you didn't wish to speak to your brother," she wept softly. "He is a monster."

No, he wasn't. Something didn't fit in his brain. He shook his head. "No. It doesn't make sense."

There came a knock outside the door. "Mr. Cadogan? There is someone insisting to see you."

Dazed, he glanced from the handful of words written on the page, that'd upended his world, to the door. "Tell whoever the hell it is I'm not receiving visitors."

"I've tried, but he insists he'll…" Mauley coughed. "Burn the townhouse down if you don't see him this instant."

With a frown, Cadogan stalked over and yanked the door open. "Who is he ?"

Mauley's skin had a pallor unlike Cadogan ever witnessed of the unflappable secretary. "The Marquess of Thurso."

Cadogan's brother.

Raina gasped.

This visitor, he'd receive.

"I'll be down shortly, Mauley. Have two men positioned outside my office, one at the base of my office window, one—"

"I've already stationed six men around the inside perimeter, four on the outside with His Lordship's conveyance, and the remainders scattered throughout the halls leading to yours and Her Ladyship's chambers."

Of course, he had. Mauley didn't miss a thing.

Aware Raina strained to listen, Cadogan dropped his voice an octave. "I want you at my wife's door."

"I understand, Mr. Cadogan."

Severin knew never to underestimate anyone, not even one's own brother. His glorious wife had best hammered home that reminder.

After Mauley left, Cadogan faced Raina.

"No." She shook her head. "I'll not let you see him."

Oh, he would do more than see him.

The fog lifted, and his head cleared of everything, restoring Cadogan to his former role of agent. "I must, Raina. Surely you see that?"

He started for the door.

"I do not see that!" she cried out. "At least not with me by your side."

"Raina, for your safety, you have to stay here."

"For my safety? For my safety?" In a beautiful blaze of fury, she stormed between him and the door and barred Cadogan from entering. "I forbid you to go."

"Raina, I must ."

"I understand that but let me do this with —"

He took her lips in a gentle kiss. "I love you, Raina."

"I love you, too." Tears filled her voice, and her sorrow threatened to cut him up inside. Her expression grew resolute. "Let me go with you."

"Anywhere," he vowed. "But not this time."

"You think me weak?" she shot back.

"Never!"

Raina lifted her chin. "If that were true, husband, then you'll walk hand in hand with me to meet him."

"I know you are strong, wife." He paused. "And I also know if anything were to ever happen to you, I'm not strong enough to survive."

This time her tears, those most virulent of weapons against him, fell freely.

With an uneven nod, she stepped aside so Cadogan could pass.

The sight of her suffering, and because of him, threatened to take him down.

"I'll return, Raina. Mauley will be waiting right outside," he promised when she still didn't say anything.

Raina gave him a small, sad, smile. "I don't want Mauley. I want my husband ."

With that anguished vow following Cadogan in his wake, he left Raina, and went to face the man who'd betrayed him.