Chapter 22

I have told Wallace I wish to stop our debauched ways.

~ The Duchess of A

L ying in her new bed, Raina didn't bother to turn when she caught the slight click of the doorway; a click so faint, had the fire in the hearth crackled just a smidge louder, she wouldn't have detected his arrival.

Instead, she stared blankly at his visage in the mahogany pivoting mirror positioned near her—his—bed. This was, after all, his household. One she wasn't wanted or welcome in.

At some point, he'd shed his jacket, cravat, and boots. He'd untucked his white lawn shirt and the sight of this always cool, collected man in such a state of complete dishabille left Raina's mouth dry.

"Why are you here, Severin?" she asked tiredly; drained not from exhaustion but emotionally depleted.

"I think that should be quite clear, my love," he rejoined, in silky tones that carried more than a promise of what was to come.

She bit the inside of her cheek so hard; her teeth shred the flesh. She hated him. She hated him for blaming her for what they'd done and shared and for being discovered. But she hated herself even more for responding to him and wanting him still.

And she knew, after they consummated their wedding night, she'd never be the same. Once he laid masterful possession of her body, she'd lose an even larger part of herself to Severin Cadogan, and from that loss, she would never, ever recover.

She'd be her mother in the worst way—wanting a man who didn't truly want her in the same ways she yearned for him .

"You married me and got the information you sought, Severin," she said, unable—and not even trying—to keep the pleading from her voice. "There is no need for a wedding night."

"Ah, but a different ‘need' is what brings me to your bed," he purred silkily. "Mine…and yours."

His coarse, unemotional pronouncement should repulse her. Instead, a wanton heat pooled between her legs, and she squirmed in a bid to lessen that misery.

She cursed her body's reaction to this man.

A slow, small, arrogant grin curved his lips at the corners. His smile said he'd witnessed her reaction, knew her thoughts, and reveled in them.

Then, barefoot and impossibly primal like a sleek, feral, black panther, Severin started toward her.

Raina closed her eyes.

He wanted her. That was, he wanted her body .

Those were two very different things.

He'd been clear, however, from the start, his feelings on lovemaking—there was no love nor feelings actually involved. There was just the raw lust all wild animals felt.

Not even a fortnight ago, she would have agreed with him. She would have said she'd discovered, after all, that human emotions were not involved in carnal matters. That was why men and women visited her brother's den of sin and why her late mother had accepted there wouldn't be the love she'd dreamed of with the duke and took lovers whose skills in bed, she'd marveled over in her diary.

But Raina had been wrong. She'd not been moved or wanted to join in the debauched acts with the gentleman she'd observed at Lucifer's Lair or sneak off to kiss a random gentleman at the masquerade.

She wanted…Severin. She ached to do all those indecorous, naughty things she'd witnessed other men doing to their lovers, but with Severin and only Severin.

She blinked back tears.

"There will be no tears this night, Raina," he whispered.

Severin didn't take his piercing gaze off Raina. With precise, tempting, and taunting movements, he pulled the garment up and over his head, tossed it aside, and stood bare-chested before her.

Unable to look away from the sight of him as he shed the rest of his garments, Raina boldly drank her fill.

His chest lightly matted with tight black curls and each muscle perfectly defined, he was a chiseled masterpiece of God's finest work.

Then, his hands went to the waist of his perfectly tailored black wool pants that clung to the corded muscles in his thighs and calves.

With another sarcastic grin, he dared her to look away.

Raina couldn't if she wanted to—and she did want to. She didn't want this man—or any man—to have this level of power over her.

While she watched on, Severin edged his trousers down and then in one swift movement, he rid himself of the garment, until he stood naked before her.

And as she drank her fill of him, a yearning the likes of which she'd never known—even in all the passionate exchanges she'd had with Severin, before now—sent such a keen, painful ache between her legs, Raina squirmed and twisted to be free of it.

The mattress dipped as he climbed onto the bed.

He came over her and she wanted to resist. With his previous and loyal work for the Crown, and the rage with which he'd avenged the men he'd overheard insulting her, he'd not force himself upon an unwilling woman. He possessed too much honor and pride to ever do so.

He'd stop if she but spoke even a single word of protest.

Instead, as he slowly, seductively divested her of her night rail, kissing each swath of bare skin he exposed, Raina shifted so he could free her of the garment.

Then as weak as Eve, she parted her legs for Severin, and he settled between them like the conquering king claiming his rightful place upon the throne.

He lowered his head to claim her lips in a bold possession, she opened hers and welcomed him inside.

Severin ravaged her mouth and Raina returned his violent kiss with a like fervor, tangling and twisting her tongue with his, against his.

He grunted his approval, and she swallowed that low, primal, rumble.

"Severin," she rasped between each kiss.

Then, he slipped a hand between her legs.

She moaned in anticipation of his touch, knowing what he'd find, and too hungry to care.

As expected, as soon as Severin slipped his fingers into her thick, slippery wetness, he chuckled.

"You asked why I'm here, sweet." He teased her nub and Raina cried out.

The look in his eyes darkened. "This is why I'm here. I'll not punish either of us from taking what we both need, for doing your brother's bidding."

That is truly what he believed. His ill-opinion speared her all the way through.

With his spare hand, Severin gripped one of Raina's palms. He guided her fingers to his cock and wrapped her palm around his silken, steel-hard shaft.

Shamefully eager, she gripped him hard.

A shuddery hiss escaped past his gritted teeth, and Severin arched into her touch.

She moaned and, relishing the feel of his length and his lack of control, she tugged and squeezed his length the way he'd shown her.

Raina rocked her hips in a bid to ease that ache at her core from the simple pleasure of touching him.

Severin's breath emerged raspy and graveled as death. "It is as I said, sweet love,"

Sweet love. Raina wept inside at that endearment.

His next words put a quick end to all hints of romanticism. "Neither of us truly wanted this union, but neither does that mean we should not seek and take our pleasure with one another."

Severin gave her several more strokes with his fingers that chased away Raina's misery and centered her on the one thing he could promise her. "We both need this. We both want this. And then we'll both be free of our desire for one another."

"You said that already at the m-masquerade," she said, and then gasped as he stroked her in a place that nearly brought her to surrender. "And yet, h-here you are." Raina wanted to cry when he stopped touching that oversensitive flesh.

He smirked. "Ah, but we didn't fuck then, Raina. This will be different, and this will leave us both sated and able to move on from one another."

Never , she answered in her mind. While he'd tire of her, she'd never have enough of him. She wanted all of him. But for now, she'd take all he was capable of—and likely would only be capable of—offering her.

He drew his fingers from her body so quickly, she cried out.

"Shh, I'm not punishing you, sweet," he said in soothing tones that were, in the face of her persistent and irrepressible desire, infuriatingly composed. "I'm rewarding you for letting us have what we both want."

Then, he slid slowly down her body and guided her to open her legs wider for him. "I'm going to eat you again, little love. I'm going to feast on your nectar and suck you and finger you until you're screaming my name to the rafters. And then I'm going to bury my cock inside you."

His depraved promise brought Raina back to the first and last time he'd made love to her in that wicked, wonderful way. She whimpered as another rush of warmth and wetness flooded her core.

He chuckled.

His salacious promise alone brought her hips arching up and pulled another smug chuckle from him. "Lovely," he said, conferring more of his roughened praise.

Severin slid his hands under her buttocks and raised her hips close to his mouth. Her breath hitched and her eyes slid shut as he buried his nose in her humiliatingly drenched curls. Of course, he'd never allowed her to feel shame in her body's response to him.

Severin slipped his tongue inside her.

Her hips shooting off the bed, Raina cried out.

She closed her eyes tightly and sinking into the mattress, Raina surrendered herself to just feeling and living in this moment. Making love with him would never be enough, but like a pitiful creature, she'd take what he offered.

Over and over again, Severin slipped his tongue inside her. He sucked her nub until all coherent thought and words failed Raina. The wicked sounds of her wetness as he laved and drank, filled her ears and she thrashed her head back and forth upon the bed.

There was no end to his torture.

"You taste so good," he extolled, wickedly.

Her breath came in short, hungry spurts.

Of a sudden, Severin stopped, and Raina wept. "Please," she begged. "Do not stop."

"Never." Sealing that brusque promise with a hard kiss upon her mouth, Severin lowered himself between her legs. "I'm going to bury my cock so deep inside you, sweet, and you're going to love it," he panted.

She whimpered at the titillating scene he painted.

"Don't be afraid, little dove," he crooned, misunderstanding the reason for her cry. "You were made for this. I've stretched you every time I slipped my fingers in your sweet cunny. Your body will take me."

It did not escape her notice that he did not tack on the very important ‘easily' at the end of his vow.

But she didn't care.

She wanted him deep inside her; so deep one could not say where Severin ended and Raina began; so that their souls fused and their hearts beat in time.

Severin nudged the plum tip of his penis to the entrance of her womanhood. Inch by agonizing inch he pushed himself inside Raina, further and further. Until he'd seated himself; his entire thick, long, length, stretched her, filled her.

As he'd promised, with all the ways he'd touched her before, he'd prepared her for his entry.

She squeezed her eyes shut and relished the full sensation of his being inside her.

And as he'd also promised, there was no pain, just an exquisite bliss. At least in this union, she and Severin were joined as one, in the way ordained by God in that fated Garden of Eden, when he'd known Adam and Eve could never deny themselves this most forbidden of fruits.

"Look at me," he commanded sharply, but it was the faintest edge of softness in that directive which brought Raina's lashes fluttering open.

"Have I hurt you?" he demanded, sounding almost angry at the prospect of having brought her pain.

Which was preposterous. He'd already hurt her in every way that mattered most, and he remained indifferent to that suffering.

But she understood what he asked.

She shook her head.

"No," she said softly, and slid her fingers through his hair, damp with perspiration. "You did not hurt me."

And to prove as much, and to urge him on, Raina lifted her hips.

His cobalt eyes turned a shade of black, and then, it was as if Raina had freed the savage beast from its cage.

He began to move.

They began to move together .

He lowered his hips and she lifted to meet his downward thrust.

While their bodies moved in perfect harmony, their bright gazes remained locked. No words were expressed between them. Aside from the ragged and harsh respirations spilling from their lips, not a sound was uttered.

They didn't speak, because no words were necessary.

Raina didn't want to look away, because in this moment, while she rose to meet each, powerful, drive of his strong thrusts, there existed only she and Severin.

Here, in this moment, didn't live lies and deceptions and wrongly reached conclusions. Hate couldn't be found here.

Just the two of them, forever.

Which was how she wanted it to be.

Surrendering fully to the dream, Raina closed her eyes and fixed on the exquisiteness of each powerful stroke. Each downward drive of his hips sent her closer and closer, teetering to that edge he'd taken her soaring over in times before.

So close.

So close.

She bit her lower lip so hard, the metallic tinge of blood filled her mouth.

Severin swept his lips over hers and continued a quest of kisses lower, to her neck where he suckled and nipped that flesh.

Their rhythm took on a greater urgency; their undulations grew frenzied, more frantic.

His muscles quivered against Raina; under her; tensing and tightening.

"Come for me, sweet Raina," he rasped harshly.

Her name, twined with an endearment, in the form of a desperate plea from this man sent her hurtling toward the edge.

He wants me as much as I want him…

That truth sent her flying all the way over.

Raina cried out.

Wrapping her arms about Severin's back, she sobbed and screamed as she came.

He rocked inside her over and over again, ringing every last drop of pleasure from her. "You feel so bloody good," he rasped. "So. Bloody. Good."

Severin gripped Raina's hips hard, positioning how he most needed her, and anchoring her in place, he continued pumping his hips harder, and faster.

His harshly beautiful features froze. And with a hoarse, triumphant, shout, he poured himself into Raina in long, powerful waves.

Through his climax, Raina held him more tightly, clinging to him.

Closing her eyes, she rode another wild, wonderful wave of ecstasy, before collapsing into the mattress.

There, replete and framed beneath Severin's strong, capable arms, Raina, with a sated smile on her lips, slept.

Some hours later

A faint and distant whimper penetrated the vast, emptiness of Raina's slumber.

Her eyes too heavy to open, she shifted and squirmed to escape that doleful mewling.

Wrapped in the safe, reassuring folds of the warmest blanket to ever cover her, Raina wanted to remain here forever, but the whineling of that wounded creature sent coldness seeping in.

Raina didn't want to leave this feeling and seek out the source of that far off suffering.

Then, blessedly, that whimpering stopped and Raina slipped deeper toward that place of beautiful oblivion.

Just as she would have drifted off completely, a guttural sound so terrible, and filled with such sorrow, snatched Raina from sleep.

With her head thick from the fog, and lashes heavy, Raina fought to open her eyes.

An inky black darkness hung over an unfamiliar room. As she attempted to sort out where she was, the loud hum of silence, filled her ears.

Pushing herself up into a seated position, she blinked and gave her eyes an opportunity to adjust. A rush of cool night air touched her bare skin as she moved, and she glanced down.

With a gasp, she grabbed the nearby satin sheet and dragged it close.

Her gaze first alighted on the garments littering the hardwood floor, and then, her focus shifted until it caught and landed on the mirrored doors of a blue and cream painted armoire.

Raina stared dumbly at her naked, disheveled image reflected within those glass panels and the broad body pressed against hers.

Thoughts about what'd taken place crept slowly in—her and Severin. The masquerade. The discovery.

She gasped and jumped back.

Severin, dead to the world, flipped onto his other side and continued sleeping.

Raina's heart knocked in a sick, slow, thud against her ribcage as it all came rushing back. Severin believed she'd colluded with her brother to betray him. He'd married her against his own volition and desire, all so he might have the name of a man who'd wronged him.

They'd made love.

And now, Raina was to spend forever with a man who openly despised her.

Cupping together her shaking hands, Raina buried her face in her palms and took in a shaky breath.

How peculiar. Just weeks ago, she'd have believed love need exist for the intimate things she and Severin had shared.

Her husband, however, had shown Raina that for him, and many, the emotion of love could be all too separated from lust.

Her anguished whimper filled the quiet, and blared like a horn in an empty, cavernous, room.

She stilled.

That hadn't been her moan.

Then, it came again, an wounded animal's plaintive wail; it grew more insistent.

The cobwebs of sleep lifted in an instant, Raina did a sweep for the owner of that sorrow—and stopped.

Her gaze locked on Severin.

He rolled onto his back, taking the sheet Raina used to cover herself with, about him.

Her heart twisted as she found her husband's unblinking, cold, eyes upon her.

As if she'd needed any reminder of Severin's antipathy, the icy vacantness in those sapphire blue depths sent another chill through her.

What did one say to a man who owned your heart so completely and made your body sing? What, when he despised her so?

She dampened her mouth.

"Severin," she said softly, stretching a hand toward him.

Severin's unflinching stare, however, remained locked at a point beyond Raina.

He could not even look at her…

Another spasm wracked that organ beneath her breast.

An unnatural, animal-like growl came from him.

Severin flipped his head so quick to the left and then right, and back to the left, with such a rapidity, there wasn't a way in which his neck muscles would not ache the following morning.

Raina froze and then it hit her.

He is sleeping.

Except that, this was like no slumber she'd ever had or witnessed.

Her sorrow forgotten; Raina crawled over to her husband's side. Kneeling over him, she searched her eyes over his prone form.

Even in sleep, the harsh, scarred, plains of Severin's face were taut; like the demons he carried would not allow him an escape even in rest. Bestial growls, mingled with excruciating anguished moans left his slightly slack lips as one—like the warring emotions each vied for freedom from within Severin.

His wide, furrowed brow gleamed with sweat.

He remained trapped in an everlasting, solitary, hell.

Severin stilled. His nostrils flared giving him the look of a wounded beast; then he resumed whipping his head wildly, back and forth.

Oh, God.

Her chest tightened.

"Sev—" Raina's imploring cut off on a gasp, as his long, powerful, fingers caught her wrist in a punishing hold that brought tears to her eyes.

In sleep, he proved as strong as he did in the waking hour.

"I-It is me, R-Raina," she pleaded, attempting to tug free.

His hold grew tighter.

Helpless, Raina glanced frantically about.

Where are you looking for? A voice in her head taunted. For someone to help him? Or you?

Suddenly with a torture moan, Cadogan released her. He collapsed into the folds of the mattress and his thrashing grew more fitful.

Raina scurried to the furthest corner of the bed.

All the while, Cadogan battled his demons—alone.

With every low, sorrowful groan he emitted, she bit her lip.

No doubt, proud man that he was, he'd want his silent suffering to remain private. No doubt, he'd want Raina—or anyone, for that matter—as far away as possible from him.

Of a certain, there'd been no one—until Raina—who'd seen him this way.

I am his wife. Regardless of everything that transpired before, how he felt, or didn't feel, none of it mattered.

She loved him. True love was not contractual, as had been the case with her parents. She wanted Severin with all his flaws and imperfections that made him complicated and guarded and perfectly real .

Strengthened by that, Raina eased herself against Severin's side.

Without rousing from his nightmare, he bucked and thrashed.

"Shh," she whispered." Undeterred, Raina pressed her body closer to Severin's harder, bigger form, slicked with sweat from his nightmare. "It is all right, Severin," she crooned and folded her arm over him. "I am here."

Then, it was as though the feel of her touch and the sound of her voice combined managed to penetrate whatever grim, horrible memories that gripped him.

"Shh," Raina whispered, stroking the sweat-slicked black hair away from his brow.

His movements grew less jerky until they stopped altogether, and Severin fell into a smooth, even, peaceful slumber.

As Raina lightly stroked her fingertips over the jagged scar that ran along his cheek, she studied him at rest—at a true rest—with the muscles of his face relaxed and his lips softened. She could imagine a world in which he'd never suffered or been used as a weapon of war in the name of King and country.

She smoothed her hand lower and stopped when her palm kissed his tight pectoral muscles. His sinew functioned like a man-made armor over his chest.

Underneath her palm, however, his heart beat steadily and solidly, a reminder that underneath the granite exterior he'd constructed, dwelled a man, capable of hurting and laughing, and loving.

Severin had dwelled within that protective casing so long, he'd ceased to believe himself human.

How else could he have done the ruthless work for the Home Office and continue in an equally perilous career if he believed himself fallible?

While he slept, Raina ran her eyes over the light growth upon his cheeks; his impossibly long, dark lashes, the stubborn curl that continued to fall over his brow, softening him all the more.

This time, Raina left that strand.

Despite what he'd let himself believe, in the name of self-preservation, Severin Cadogan wasn't an automaton made of steel or rock or granite. The marks he wore upon his body and the invisible scars inside that robbed him of rest, were both reminders.

It'd likely take her an entire lifetime to make Severin see he was a flesh and blood person, as the rest of them. Fortunately, she'd just pledged that lifetime to Severin this morning.

Raina burrowed herself against Severin's side.

His arm immediately came up and over to draw her nearer, closer, and this time, before she followed him into sleep, Raina smiled.