5

Aspen

My papa left the house before the sun came up, leaving a half pan of biscuits on the counter and a plate of cold bacon in the oven. His way of showing support for my impending doom even though he should have been home resting.

I couldn’t find it in me to be frustrated.

I stared blankly at the wall as I ate, still in shock from the turn of events. A part of me wanted to believe it was a bad dream and go back to bed, but I didn’t have time for that. Sunday was tomorrow. Today was my day off. I got ready and headed to work anyway.

Anxiety was still gnawing at my gut, sloshing around with my half-eaten breakfast, as I plastered a smile on my face and went through employee security at the prison. It was a strange morning. The guards seemed to be going out of their way to smile at me which was making the anxiety worse.

“No bag today?” Evan asked as I stepped through the scanner.

I’d been working here for two years and I never brought a bag because my wallet and keys fit in my pocket. It was less stuff I had to stow in the locker.

“No…” I said slowly.

“Oh, that’s right.” He nodded like this wasn’t the first time he’d spoken more than two words to me. “You eat lunch in the cafeteria. If you want to eat with us today, I’ve got an extra sandwich.”

Strange.

Very strange.

I took my keys from the bin, still smiling awkwardly. Was this how my life was going to be now?None of the guards bothered me since I was so low-ranking and I liked it that way. It was easier to blend into the background. Easier to plan my escape.

Was I some sort of celebrity?

I hadn’t stepped foot on the show and people were already looking at me differently. Maybe there would be perks to it though. Evan had offered me a free sandwich.

If it smells like him, I wouldn’t eat it.My wolf sniffed as I hurried past the guards and made my way down the hall.

I felt like I was walking through a fog, trying to maintain a sense of normality. I needed information. Fast. So I could feel more in control.

Thankfully, I had my own personal informant who just happened to be an inmate here and one of the coolest chicks I’d ever met.

*

Clara Klevean, convicted of second-degree murder, was already in the library. She wore the orange scrubs of a trustee which in her words ‘clashed horribly with her freckles and bright red hair.’ Clara was a petite little thing who barely came up to my shoulder when she was standing.

She was never standing.

The coyote shifter sat on top of the table near my locked office with her legs crossed under her, filling out the book logs for the return bin. She was alone, like usual. We didn’t have many females in this prison and coyotes mostly hunted solo or in small packs anyway. Which made her case of self-defense for killing her asshole human boyfriend that much harder to prove.

Shifters got the short end of the stick in human courts and coyotes weren’t exactly top of the food chain. Without money or pack leadership to back her defense, she was stuck here for at least twenty years unless she could get a review board to hear her appeal. One day, I planned to help her get out of here too.

“I was hoping you’d be here today.” I moved the rolling cart of returned books out of the way.

“Where else would I be?” Clara beamed a smile full of shiny white teeth in my direction.

“Fair point.” I took a seat on the chair beside the table that was bolted to the floor. “I need your help.”

“Who do we need to kill?” She spun around on her bottom so we were facing each other.

I looked at her orange jumpsuit pointedly. “Maybe not the best response if you want a chance at parole.”

“Unlike you, I will never leave this hell.” She pouted. “So, we’re not killing anyone?”

“I mean, unless I can fake my own death.” My eyes widened. “Wait. That’s a good idea. Can we do that?”

“My innocent wolf friend.” Clara flashed a smile again. “Of course we can fake your death. But why do you want to die?”

“Mating Season,” I groaned.

She took a deep breath like she always did when she started to– “That’s in like a month and a half. Why are you stressing out? Your wolf has held out this long. She’s not going to change her mind now. Unless. Is there someone new? How hot is he? He’s a wolf shifter I’m assuming. Yum, I like those bigger knots. Tell me all the dirty details and help a girl out. My spank bank is getting low.”

“Like you actually spank it? How does that… Never mind.” I shook my head to clear the image from my brain as she returned to her normal level of oxygen again. “No, I mean Mating Season. Capitalized. I need to know what I’m getting into.”

*

“Oh my Goddess, I can’t do this.” I stared at the screen in my office. It was the only computer in this prison I had access to that wasn’t on a secured internet.

“I’m more concerned with the fact that you’ve never watched the show.” Clara’s small booty was perched on my desk atop the testing materials I had laid out for the week.

All this work was going to waste.

It never was my dream job anyway.

“Hey Teach. You know it’s Saturday, right?” Bishop called out. The guard on duty across the hall locked up the barber shop.

“Is he good with you?” the guard asked.

I nodded, waving him over.

Bishop, the grizzly shifter-slash-barber, was one of my best students. Not academically. He’d failed his GED test four times already. But he was a sweetheart and worked really hard, especially when candy incentives were involved. Ironically, he was in prison for holding up an ice cream parlor.

Yes, it was cliché.

But I wasn’t going to tell the giant beast of a man with biceps bigger than my head that.

Bishop padded over in his orange jumpsuit. Another trustee allowed more freedom in this joint and one I also considered a friend.

Which probably said something about me.

I’d worry about that later.

“What are you watching?” Bishop came into my small office, taking up half the room on the other side of my desk.

“Mating Season.” Clara stayed on her side of the desk. They knew the rules. No touching members of the opposite sex. Maybe that’s why I fit in here. We were all going through a dry spell.

“What season?” Bishop leaned closer. I was sure he needed glasses.

“We haven’t even made it through season one and she’s already freaking out,” Clara said.

I wasn’t freaking out. I was fine. Totally okay. There would be a way out of this. A technicality of some sort if I could just figure it out. You know what? This pack wasn’t so bad. Maybe I could take over my papa’s job and run the trapline for him. Watch him slowly waste away…

“Hey, you don’t look so good.” Bishop rubbed his freshly shaved jaw.

“I’m fine,” I squeaked out. “What happens in season two?”

“Isn’t that the one where Majorie dies?” he asked.

“No that was Melissa in season three,” Clara explained. “Majorie was the drama queen in season one.”

“I remember her. She got that one snaggletooth Alpha in the end.” Bishop nodded like they didn’t just gloss over someone’s death.

I was in a prison.

You’d think I’d be used to that.

“Is there a survival rate I should be aware of?” Because that seemed important to know.

“You’ll be fine.” Clara waved her hand in front of my mouth to shut me up. “This is the preliminary stuff where they show clips of the Luna Trials and we get to meet the ladies. It’s only a few episodes, but voting is the fun part. It’s how all the viewers get to stay involved. Oh! What are you going to do for your nest?”

“My nest?” Panic was starting to sink in.

Bishop gave me a side-eye. “Her nest?”

It took him a minute to connect the dots. He really was smart. The tests didn’t give him enough time.

“No shit.” He put his fist over his mouth, eyes lighting up as he did a little happy jig in the small space. “You got an invitation. You’re going to Mating Season. Teach, say it isn’t so.”

Bishop stopped dancing and put his big paw on my shoulder. I’d remind him of the no touching rule if I thought he’d actually harm a fly. “Forget her nest. What is she going to wear?”

Clothes I assumed. “Can we go back to the part about someone dying?”

“Something dramatic happens every season.” Clara shrugged off my concerns. “Don’t worry. Just keep your head down while you’re there. Nothing happens to the contestants that aren’t super popular.”

“But how did someone die?” I asked.

In hindsight, maybe this wasn’t the best place to do my research.

“Wolves,” Bishop said like that was enough of an explanation. “You know how vicious and territorial they can be.”

“Then why don’t they use a more peaceful species for this show?”

Clara and Bishop both looked at me like I was stupid. Okay. I had that coming.

“I’m sure big cats would be just as entertaining,” I mumbled.

“It is kind of your species’ fault that we integrated with humans and now have to abide by their laws.” Clara motioned to her jumpsuit to prove her point.

It was all those werewolf romance novels that went mainstream. Back in the day, women went looking for hot wolf hookups and we had no choice but to come out into the open, to argue for basic rights, after one tryst too many between horny wolf shifters and smut readers.

“Besides, you all breed like rabbits since you’ve taken up so much territory. And that’s why it’s common for wolves to take a chosen mate now during your season.” Bishop sighed. “The rest of us are still blessed with finding our fated mates while we watch you struggle to make a real connection.”

Clara rolled her eyes. “Whatever. It’s not that deep. Mating Season is just fun.”

“This is so fun,” I deadpanned.

“I’m bummed we won’t know the Alpha lineup until after you go, but keep your cellphone on and I’ll try to call you with updates.” Clara swung her legs off the desk as the whistle sounded for lunch.

“You’re going to leave a lot of broken hearts behind here.” Bishop clapped me on the back. Hard. It was only my shifter strength that kept me from crashing into the desk. “Don’t forget about us when you get rich and famous.”

Rich and famous. Ha. I was more worried about survival. But Bishop and Clara had other priorities. Food was number one.

I didn’t blame them.

“I’ll miss you guys,” I called after them, not expecting Clara to turn around with tears filling her bright green eyes.

“Don’t ever come back here. Okay?”

*

I shoved my clothes into a plastic bag that I’d grabbed from the commissary and shifted just outside the prison fence where the sagebrush dotted the barren field. My jaw elongated and bones broke, spine cracked and nail beds splintered, as each part of my human body rearranged into the anatomy of my wolf.

It wasn’t as painful as it sounded.

Finally.She shook out her brown coat and picked up the bag with her teeth, eager to have control of our physical form.

Ears twitching, she set off on a trot through the open high desert. The chilling late winter winds blew down from the mountains and whipped through her fur as she picked up speed, chasing the illusion of freedom and enjoying the earthy scents.

I settled down with my thoughts, letting her take point. She was so much stronger and more focused than me. Yes, we were both fighters, but she didn’t have these human doubts holding her back.

And she wouldn’t be expected to perform on some human show.

Mating season is mating season.My wolf couldn’t understand. She knew the biological urges that called to her each year, the coming of the heat and the purpose of mating, but she hadn’t found anyone worthy of her time yet.

This will be embarrassing, I tried to explain to her. It’s on television.

Don’t do anything stupid then.She huffed, ignoring me in favor of stretching her legs and working her muscles through the familiar terrain.

Historians say that hundreds of years ago we lived mostly in our beast forms. I couldn’t imagine how freeing that would be to live a life with no human worries. Then again, pack drama wasn’t only a human thing.

The scent of a new vehicle drifting down the dirt road to our trailer had my wolf baring her teeth and running double time. I groaned as I recognized the smell.

I need our body back, please.

My wolf sniffed the dirt again, moving to the front stoop of the trailer and making sure there was no lingering threat before she released her form to my human limbs. I stood up naked and pulled out my shirt, shoving my arms into it and glaring at the black trash bag that waited on the steps outside the front door.

A gift?my wolf asked.

She would think that. Some of the old dams in the pack used to drop off packages like this when I was growing up. But I knew an insult when I saw one.

I peered into the trash bag to see Stefanie’s pile of cast-off clothes. It wasn’t like I was bougie or anything. I grew up wearing hand-me-downs from the pack. This was a new low.

Glancing around the empty yard, I waited for someone to pop out with a camera. That was more Stef’s style. She liked to cause a scene. Like the one time she’d filled my locker with packages of rotten meat after my papa dropped me off at school with a deer carcass in the bed of the truck. Everyone took pictures and laughed about it for weeks.

There were two options here. I could go to Alpha Derek and report Stef for disobeying the “buy her new clothes” order or thank my lucky stars that I wasn’t forced to spend my last afternoon here shopping with the bitch.

Sometimes you had to choose your fights.

*

It stinks.My wolf huffed as I emptied the trash bag onto my bedroom floor. I picked up a skimpy red skirt and black fishnet stockings. There was no way in hell I’d fit into any of this.

My eyes caught on a sequined violet dress in the pile. It was frayed a little, but flashier than anything I’d ever owned. I wouldn’t call my clothes boring. Practical, maybe. They kept me warm and comfortable in my human skin which was all I wanted them for. I did have a few cozy sweaters and leggings for when I wanted to dress up a bit. Mostly, I wore overalls and flannel shirts.

But the Luna contestants I’d seen during my doom scrolling this morning all looked so polished and feminine. I frowned a little, looking down at my clothes.

Forget dying.

Stefanie was right.

They were going to laugh me off the show.

I picked up the sparkly sequin dress and studied it in the light coming from my bedroom window. It couldn’t hurt to try it on.

*

I lied.

Goddess help me, I made a mistake. This wouldn’t work. The fabric was barely shimmied up to my ribs when all of my air was cut off. I shouldn’t have sucked in. I couldn’t blow back out. Where is the zipper on this thing?

Get it off!My wolf barked.

I jumped around, searching for the straps as some sort of leverage to pull the thing over my head.

Why did I start at the bottom? There was no way this dress was going back down over my ass. I barely got it over the hump on the way up.

Shift. I’ll rip it.My wolf was frantic.

“And then you’ll be stuck just like me,” I screamed.

“Aspen, are you okay in there?” My papa knocked at the door.

“Don’t come in. I’m naked!”

Not exactly. But the band of material cutting into my flesh didn’t really count as clothes.

“Uh.” I could practically hear him scratching his head. Shifters didn’t worry about nudity much.

“Hang on.” I squeezed my belly button into my spine and yanked on the fabric. There were no straps. It was a tube top that I pulled up over my not that large D cups.

My ribcage saved my lungs, busting the seam in the back a few stitches, and I inhaled precious air. I turned to the mirror on my dresser and burst out laughing.

I looked like a casing of sausage pouring out at both ends of the slinky dress. Stef definitely didn’t have my curves.

“I’m going to have to cut this off.” I shook my head at my reflection.

“Did you say you needed scissors?” My papa chuckled from the other side of the door.

Cheeks red and sweat beading on my forehead, I nodded. “Yes please.”

*

“I don’t know why you need those.” My papa motioned to the clothes.

“I don’t.” I started shoving them back into the trash bag.

“Do you need clothes?” He scratched his beard, giving me the strange look he’d given the first time I went into heat when I was eighteen. Like I was some sort of rabid animal and he didn’t know whether to set a trap or run.

“No.” I sat on my twin sized bed and put my head in my hands. “Yes? Maybe. I don’t know. I’m not sure I can do this.”

“You’re not sure if you need clothes or not?”

A laugh rippled through me even though I wanted to cry. “I don’t know if I can do this stupid show. Those females, they…”

I took a deep breath and looked up. “I’m not like them.”

“How do you know that if you’ve never met them?” He wheeled his chair closer to my bed.

“Have you actually seen the show?” I asked. “They’re all candidates from the major packs. Alpha groupies with higher ranks and money to spare on clothes and things. I don’t know why Trenton got an invitation. I don’t think it’s just me either. The three of us are going to be a joke.”

And maybe that was the point.

Did the producers need some comic relief?

“I can’t say I know about all that. But I don’t think this is a joke.” His chest puffed out a bit like it always did when I was about to get schooled.

“And why is that?” I sighed.

“Even before the show started, the Alphas from the major packs brought their children together during the season. Some of it may have been about power and prestige, but I think they wanted that one thing all parents want.”

“Obedience?” I asked.

“No, smartass.” He chuckled. “This is a chance for your wolf to find her match and be happy.”

“What if I’m happy without a mate?” I knew it was hard for him to believe because he was so in love with my gram, but not everyone needed to settle down and get mated to live a happy life.

“Aspen, you’ve been running for so long, I don’t think you know what happy means.”

“That’s not true. I–”

“Listen to me. I know it’s been hard without your parents here, but you remind me so much of your father sometimes. Always fighting and wanting to change things, to bend the world to your way of thinking. He had everything and he lost it all because he couldn’t appreciate the simple joys in life.”

It was hard for him to talk about his son. We rarely ever went there. Despite the rumors, he didn’t blame my mother for encouraging the challenge. But we never spoke of her much. Which was fine by me. That wasn’t love. When you put conditions on your affection, you don’t deserve a place in my memory. Plus, she’d abandoned me by choice. No phone calls. No post cards. No love lost on my part. I took after my paternal side anyway.

“I’m not my father.”

“No. You’re not.” Papa wiped a hand across his eyes. “You’re more like me. Stubborn and ornery.”

“Whose fault is that?” I teased.

“Mine I guess.” He smiled. “But I know you’re a romantic and you get that from me too. Even if you hide behind the wall you’ve built that says you need to be alone.”

This was getting way too deep for me. “Mating Season is more than finding love. Alphas and Lunas serve a purpose. I have no desire to lead a pack.”

“You don’t like this pack.” He arched an eyebrow, cutting me off as my mouth opened to argue, “And I know you’ve got ideas on how to change it. Maybe you could put those to use somewhere else.”

“I can’t do that.” I shook my head. “Not if it means leaving you behind.”

My papa winked. “Well maybe I’ll come with you to your new pack. See if they need a trapper. I want you to try and do this. I could die a happy wolf if I knew you had a fraction of what me and your gram had.”

Way to guilt trip me into this.

But it was the first time he said he’d actually leave with me. It gave me hope that once I finished my end of the bargain with Alpha Derek, there wouldn’t be as much of a fight to get him out of here.

“Okay. I’ll go in with an open mind just for you. As long as you promise to keep your phone charged so I can get in touch with you while I’m gone.”

His eyes widened as he looked over his shoulder. “Umm…”

“You don’t have any clue where it is.” I dragged my hands down my face. “Alright. Where did you last see it?”