30

Aspen

“This is a call from Holton Penitentiary…”

“For the love of the Goddess, I accept.”

I held the phone like a tether to the outside world, needing a sense of normal in the craziness that had become my life. So what if my normal was a best friend calling from prison? It still made more sense than what was going on inside my body and head.

“You made it to the nesting trial! How did you set it up?” Clara shrieked into the phone.

“I can’t give you details on that.” Tears sprung to my eyes as I thought of how dumb this all was. I was losing it and definitely needed a nap.

“Oh, sweetie. What’s wrong?” Clara stopped yelling, though someone behind her yelped as she probably shoved them back.

I swallowed down my emotions, trying to get a grip. “Nothing. I’m okay. Did you find any information on Ranger yet?”

“Mmmm. Ranger.” Clara panted into the phone. “He is a hottie for sure.”

A possessive growl tore through my lips.

“Wow. Okay. So Ranger is off limits.”

I slapped my hand over my mouth. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Sure it isn’t.” Clara giggled. “You won’t mind if I hit him up then?”

I growled again.

“Well that settles that.” Clara struggled not to laugh. “I haven’t been able to find out anything else about him, but I’ll keep digging in a completely platonic way for you. Is that cool with your wolf?”

I caught myself nodding and realized I had to answer out loud. “Um. Sure. That would be okay.”

“Is he the reason why you’re crying though? Hot or not, I’ll cut him for you.”

I smiled despite the situation. “No. Yes. I don’t know. My head is a mess and I don’t think I can do this much longer.”

“Why the hell not? Did you see the last two episodes? The country loves you babe.”

“We’re not supposed to watch the show.” And I was grateful for it now. “But I’m not sure the popular vote is going to keep carrying me. None of the Alphas want me here.”

“Yeah. That’s strange,” Clara’s voice trailed off as she hushed someone behind her. “Have you tried to flirt with any of them?”

Flirt? Ha.

“I wore a nice dress and smiled the other day,” I offered.

I could hear Clara roll her eyes. “I know it’s hard, but at least try to act like you want to be there. And I have an idea to help with the popular vote.”

“I’m not sure calling in is going to help. Stef didn’t make the popular vote cutoff,” I said, thinking of where Stef’s ranking sat.

“Please. Like any of us voted for Stefanie.”

“Time’s up,” one of the guards said.

I groaned. “Call me later, okay?”

*

“We need to talk.”

Just what I wanted to hear, Trenton’s voice in my head first thing in the morning.

I bit into the bagel I’d snagged from the cafeteria as I slid the keycard in the lock to my room. “Can it wait? I’m busy right now.” Busy avoiding him and anything else that came with a penis.

“Good morning.”

I shrieked and almost dropped my bagel. Trenton and Stef were sitting on the sofas in the main area of the hotel room.

“Or you can just ambush me.” I took another bite. I was feeling better, almost like myself again after a good night’s sleep, but, of course, my pack didn’t care.

“No games, Aspen,” Trenton growled. “You need to take a seat.”

I thought about defying him, but figured it was easier to eat while sitting so I dragged out one of the dinette chairs. “Who pissed in your corn flakes this morning?”

“Everything is a joke to her.” Stef sighed.

It wasn’t. But you had to find humor somewhere in a pack like mine. “Was this family meeting on the schedule or did I miss the memo?” I asked over a bite full of everything and cream cheese.

Delicious.

Why had I never eaten one of these before?

“Will you cut the shit?” Trenton jumped to his feet with fists clenched at his side as he started to shake. Ooo… Scary Alpha Trenton.

I took another bite.

“Is this what you did to him?” Trenton demanded. “Why do you try to get under every male’s skin?”

“Excuse me?” I swallowed down the carb loaded breakfast. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Ranger.” Stef stood and put her hand on Trenton’s shoulder. He shrugged her off.

“What does Ranger have to do with any of this?” I asked, feeling the tug in my chest at the mention of his name.

“Why don’t you tell me?” Trenton scowled. “Why does the most powerful Alpha in this place have a target on your back?”

“What do you mean, a ‘target?’” I set down the bagel.

“Goddess, Aspen. You really need to pay more attention,” Stef said.

I ignored her, staring at Trenton. “Why do you think he has it out for me?”

“Let’s start with the fact that he told the producers he wanted you off the show.”

“He did what?” I gasped.

“One of the other Alphas is friends with the director and Ranger stormed into the conference room the other day demanding they send you home.” Stef was gloating.

I was going to be sick.

“And I think you’re going to fail the nest trial,” Trenton added, digging the knife in deeper.

“What was wrong with my nest?”

“Couldn’t say.” Trenton shrugged. “Ranger wouldn’t let anyone near it. I put in a vote for you, but I don’t think it will matter since none of the Alphas even got a chance to see what you made. He hasn’t been letting them vote for you anyway. Did you know that?”

“No.” I felt tears burning behind my eyes but I refused to let them fall. So what? There was still a chance I’d continue to pass with the popular vote. I didn’t need any of these stupid Alphas to care.

Especially not him.

“We told you not to make enemies like that.” Trenton growled. “I can’t protect you from McCaw Pack on my own.”

“I don’t need your protection,” I bit back.

“Honestly, I think we need to cut ties with her,” Stef said, lowering her eyes. “It’s too dangerous for us to associate with someone who causes problems like this. She’s going to get hurt and bring us down with her.”

“Are you serious?” I laughed derisively. “Weren’t you the one begging me a few days ago to throw you a bone? The one sponsor you managed to find wouldn’t even consider supporting us if it wasn’t for me.”

“Things change.” Stef smiled.

Trenton ran a hand through his blond hair, heading for the door.

“Where are you going?” I jumped to my feet.

“To see if I can talk some sense into the other guys,” Trenton snapped. “In the meantime, stay away from Ranger so you don’t piss him off anymore.”

Something twisted hard in my chest and I pressed a fist against it as my wolf started to whine. The door slammed shut. I raised my eyes, still holding back the burning tears.

“What?” Stef growled. “Don’t look at me. This is your own fault. You should have listened to us from the beginning and remembered your rank.”

*

If I made it through the elimination round, I was hiding in my room for the rest of the day. I’d raid the cafeteria and stock up on supplies, crawl into bed, and read rom-coms saved to my phone in my pajamas until my eyes glossed over.

Though that wasn’t going to score me any more Alpha points and I still had one more trial to pass. The voters might have forgotten about me too since apparently no one had gotten to see my nest.

I almost wondered if it was cheating to have the viewers keep me here. Was I taking away a spot from another Luna candidate the Alphas really wanted since they didn’t seem to want me?

I took my seat in the back row of the bleachers, as far away from the cameras as I could get, and I wasn’t proud of it, but I scanned the crowd of Alphas looking for him. Ranger wasn’t here to watch.

Figures.

My wolf whined again.

Jay took his spot on stage as the director yelled, “Action.”

I distracted myself from my nerves by watching the clips of the nests play on the screen and listening to Jay’s commentary. This felt wrong. Like the private parts of ourselves were being exposed and judged and picked apart. I could sense the embarrassment in the room as the Luna candidates around me shrunk into themselves.

When they showed Stef’s nest, Jay made a comment about velvet being out of style and a few of the other contestants laughed.

I couldn’t bring myself to smile.

“He’s an asshole,” I told her through our pack link.

Stef sat up straighter, ignoring the jab. “I’m sure your nest was worse.”

They never showed my nest.

Instead, there was a clip of Ranger growling and strong-arming the doors. No one dared to set foot near the shed. I was equal parts confused and frustrated. Why is he doing this to me?

“As you can see folks, we have some protective Alphas already emerging. Stay tuned to watch the drama unfold.” Jay winked for the cameras.

Protective? Yeah right.

“But first it’s time to say goodbye to a few more contestants.” Jay stood to the side as the screen showed our tallies.

I held my breath as my eyes quickly scanned the results. My name dipped below the popular vote cutoff line and I slowly released the air from my lungs. I’d lost the public. I was sitting at number twenty-one in the list. The viewers at home had forgotten about me and voted for other candidates after the nesting trial.

I wasn’t in the top twenty anymore.

But the total number of Alpha votes was…

“Stefanie from Nuva Pack, please exit this way.”

“Wait!” I cried through our pack link, trying to hold her back a moment so I could make sense of what was happening.

“Save your pity.” Stef’s claws extended as she smacked away my hand. “I knew it.”

“Security,” Molly called out loud, speaking softly into her headset, “Camera three roll in.”

“Anything for the cameras.” There was pure hatred in her eyes as Stef glared at me. “You shouldn’t even be here. I’m the one who wants this. You took everything. Again. Trenton wasn’t enough for you. And now you get my rightful spot here too. I hope you get exactly what you deserve.”

Tears filled my eyes and I nodded, not even bothering to stop them from falling. She was right. I didn’t belong here. Even if three Alphas had voted for me. Three. The three votes I needed to stay.

“I’m leaving.” Stef held her chin high, gathering her dignity as she sidestepped the security guard and headed to the exit.

In shock, I watched her go. Of all the scenarios I’d imagined, I never saw this one coming. She should have played a bigger part. Gotten a chance to meet a mate. It might have been karma, but it didn’t feel like justice. It was icky. A dirty sense of wrong washed over me.

I barely heard the names of the next contestants who were called off stage and was vaguely aware that twenty-four of us were left. Only four more would be going home. Less than half of what we started with would remain. I couldn’t even remember who they all were.

What did that say about me?

“Congratulations contestants. You’ve made it to the final round,” Jay cheered like we’d already won.

“Cut,” the director yelled.

I was numb as I looked around, seeing those of us who were still here. Everyone was moving slowly with their heads down, distancing themselves from each other. I caught Opal’s eye and she climbed up to me from her spot on the bleachers.

“Are you okay?” she asked, looking over her shoulder at the line of females filing through the stage curtains.

I swallowed down my self-pity and nodded. “I’m fine. How are you? Cindy isn’t messing with you anymore, is she?”

“About that…” Opal chewed her bottom lip. “It’s probably safer for you to stay away from me.”

“I don’t care.” I rose to my feet. “This isn’t right.”

Her big eyes held such an old soul within them as Opal smiled at me. “It’s not about what is right. It’s about survival.”

*

When I got back to the hotel room, it was already empty. All of Stefanie’s stuff was gone. They didn’t give her a chance to say goodbye. It’s not like I was expecting a warm embrace from her, but the space felt too big now that I was truly alone.

My wolf sniffed, seeking out the scent of her packmate, and gave a soft little whine.

Ranger? she asked.

I sat on the sofa and pulled my knees to my chest. I don’t know.

Three unknown Alphas had voted for me, keeping me in the running, and Stef only had two. It didn’t seem fair. She was the one who wanted to be here.

And I was… A fraud.

The keycard hit the lock and I quickly dried my eyes.

“She’s really gone.” Trenton stood in the doorway with his hands in his pockets.

“Seems like it.” I held myself tighter.

“Isn’t that what you wanted?” He smirked. “I thought you hated each other.”

“Not like this.” I turned to look out the window.

“Alright. Well. Let me know if you need anything,” he said after a few beats of silence.

That was Trenton. Always so eloquent.

“Wait,” I called before the door closed. “Why didn’t you choose her during mating season back home after…”

I hated talking about this.

Trenton’s jaw worked as the familiar anger of his beast flashed in his eyes. “You of all people should know that we don’t control what our wolves want.”