18. Luna

Chapter 18

Luna

L ucien's eyes darken with lust. He crawls up the bed, his cock inches away from my entrance. Then he hesitates. His expression changes. "I don't want to hurt you."

Smiling, giggling a little, I look down at his cock. "You're big, Lucien, but you're not that big."

Still staring at me, he slides his hands up my outer thighs and grips my hips, dimpling them with his fingers. I have realized that whenever I make him laugh, he is surprised by it. And the look on his face – like he'd forgotten how to find anything funny and is surprised I am talking to him the way I am – makes a strange, warm sense of affection settle in my belly.

"That is not what I meant." He moves one hand to his shaft again. When he curls his fingers around it, I bite my lower lip and my hips instinctively tilt toward him, heat pooling in my core even though my clit is still sensitive and throbbing.

Still touching himself, Lucien watches me start to stroke my pussy.

"I want to fuck you, Luna. But I'm a vampire. I'm strong. And when I'm inside you I'm going to be incredibly turned on. What if I make it worse?"

"The pain?" Shame and embarrassment wash over me. I stop touching myself and sit back a little.

As I move, Lucien moves with me. "Explain it to me."

My eyes fill with tears, and I hate that I'm that girl who's crying in bed with a hot guy. "It never goes away. It's always there."

"So, when I'm touching you…?" He is resting his hands gently on my knees now, stroking me with his fingertips.

I laugh and shake my head. I don't want to talk about this. I don't want it here, intruding on this moment. For once, I want to feel like the girl who can do what she likes. Whose body will do what she commands. I try to bring him toward me, using my legs to pull him closer but he resists.

"Talk to me," he says, a command and a plea at the same time.

"Pain isn't sexy, Lucien."

"Everything about you is sexy."

I shake my head again. "Even when you're touching me, it's still there. And tomorrow, I'll feel like I've run a marathon, been run over by a truck, and thrown headfirst over a cliff because my body just can't allow me to feel good ." My voice cracks and I feel like I need to reach for a blanket and cover myself up. "I'm weak."

"You are the strongest person I have ever met." He tries to smile. "And I've been alive a long time. I've met a lot of humans."

A tear escapes and rolls down my cheek. "Please, fuck me."

"I can't hurt you." He pushes his fingers through his hair.

"Fuck me, Lucien." I sit up and take his hand, then tug it gently, forcing him to lie above me. "However I'm going to feel tomorrow, it will be worth it." I meet his eyes and feel my tears turn to something more determined. "This is my choice. I need to control this. Let me control this."

I tighten my grip on him with my thighs. His lips collide with mine.

And before I can say anything else, he slides inside me.

The intensity of the pleasure makes me gasp. He is large and hard, and it takes me a moment to adjust to the sensation of being so full.

He kisses me again as he moves in and out of my aching body.

I expect him to be too strong, too hard, too fast, but he is holding back. His movements are controlled.

"Harder." I slip my hand between us and rub my clit, watching his shoulders ripple as he holds my free hand above my head then kisses my neck.

He changes pace. Does as I've asked.

Heat and pleasure dance on my skin and become a new kind of pain. A torment. A frustration. An explosion that's building and building inside me, coiling around my limbs, making my eyes roll back and my breath hitch and my toes curl.

He lifts my legs a little, tilts his pelvis, and starts hitting the spot that make stars explode behind my eyelids.

"I want to see your face," I moan into his ear. "I want to watch your face."

He obliges, sitting up so he can see all of me.

Normally, I'd feel totally exposed like this but the way he is staring at me makes me feel like a goddess.

"Fuck, you look beautiful, kitten."

His eyes trail down my body. He looks as if he might devour me whole. His hips slam into mine, and the bed creaks beneath us both.

I cry out but tell him not to stop.

I close my eyes, but when I open them again, he is holding his wrist against his mouth. I am still touching myself when he bites down on the vein and pierces it with his fangs.

Blood trickles down his arm and onto my stomach. He wraps his other arm around me and lifts me so I'm sitting in his lap. I curl my legs around him. He is still inside me, but now he's offering me his bleeding wrist.

"Drink. My blood will do more for your pain than those pills will ever do." He meets my eyes. Inky pools of salvation.

I shouldn't do this.

I shouldn't want to do this. But the thought of having his blood inside me is so overwhelmingly powerful that I can't stop myself.

I grab his hand and seal my lips over the open wound.

When I start to suck, Lucien groans and thrusts into me harder.

His warmth fills my mouth, coats my tongue. Metallic but oddly sweet. It drips onto my chin.

"Luna..." Lucien gasps my name like a prayer, his jaw clenched tightly as he watches me. Then he cups my face in his hand and eases my lips from him. "That's enough now, kitten."

I am panting. My body is on fire.

A gentle warmth begins to spread through my body, starting as a tingle in my throat.

The constant ache I've grown accustomed to doesn't disappear entirely, but it softens around the edges. It's as if someone has turned down the volume on my pain, from a blaring roar to a more manageable hum. The sharp twinges in my joints are suddenly duller, less insistent.

As I wrap my arms around him and grind my pelvis down onto him, I realize my limbs feel different, too. Lighter. When I roll my shoulders and tilt my head back so he can lick the blood from my chin and my throat, the familiar stiffness is there, but muted.

Energy trickles through me, not a surge but a gentle stream.

For the first time in years, I feel a glimmer of what it might be like to live without constant pain.

Pleasure builds inside me. No longer fighting to rise above my pain, it rips effortlessly through my body, and I start to shake. Sweat beads on my shoulders and between my breasts. Darkness swells in the corners of my vision. Lucien holds me tighter, and fucks me harder, and when I climax, I dig my nails into his back and hold onto him as if I might dissolve completely if I didn't have him to keep me here.

As Lucien watches me come, his entire body tenses up. He groans loudly, and the sound increases my pleasure. He stares at me, thrusts harder, then stops. His warmth fills me, hot and beautiful.

I expect him to pull away, but he doesn't.

He stays inside me, stroking my back, holding me tightly against his chest.

I notice that my hips aren't aching, and my back isn't either, and when he lowers me down onto the bed, I slip into a deep, easy sleep.