Chapter Ten

With nothing to do but think about Finchley, I found myself at Archer’s house just before lunch. When I first thought of dropping in on Cap, it seemed like a good idea, but now that Indy has gotten ahold of me…well, it’s still a good idea. I sit in the middle of the living room floor surrounded by pink taffeta and dolls while she puts the finishing touches on my hairstyle. I even let her have fun with her play eyeshadow kit and lip gloss.

“You don’t have to let her do that,” Archer says, sipping his coffee.

“Ah, there’s nothing wrong with a man getting in touch with his feminine side, pink glitter and all. It’s better than thinking about my past all day,” I admit. “Where’s Ronnie?”

“Working on the app. Are you sure you’re okay with all of this?” Archer leans forward and puts his mug on the dark wood coffee table, peering over it to see how much of a mess his little one has made.

“The sparkly makeup or my ex falling back into my life?”

He narrows his eyes and gives me the look that says he knows I know what he meant.

“I can’t say yet. Everything in me says to fight for her but what if she doesn’t want to be fought for? What if seeing what happens means nothing happens?” I close my eyes so Indy can add another layer of purple eyeshadow all the way up to my eyebrows. One little hand presses against my cheek, steadying herself while the other spreads the color higher and higher.

“Or wait and see might mean she’s entirely open to exploring what comes. It’s too soon to tell,” he says. “Everything you said happened is not only dramatic, but also reasonable, as crazy as that sounds. You wanted to protect her life, and you were still young. A kid, really.”

I chuckle. “We have kids the same age playing with us, Cap. Nah, it’s time to admit that back then, trying to be good enough for that woman’s family nearly ate me alive. Part of me worries that I left because it was easier.”

Archer scrubs his hands over his bearded face and groans. “I understand why you might feel that way, but I gotta say, Doyle, you didn’t act like you were afraid of anything when we started playing together. If you ditched Finchley because it was easier, it didn’t show.”

I sigh and lean back against the beige chair. Indy giggles and pushes her glasses up her nose. “I’m gonna make you the bewtifulest, Uncle Aiden!”

Wrapping my arms around the wee one, I squeeze tight. She’s been a light in a dark tunnel for me today with her little giggles and sweet smiles. Archer isn’t the only person who misses June. Maybe he doesn’t know it, but those of us who have been with him from the beginning of his career and attended their wedding, we miss her too. Still, I’m happy he found love again.

“Aiden, be honest with me. Is this hitting you harder than you’re admitting? Evander was right. You don’t miss set ups or get distracted. For you to be off, it has to be deep.” I know he’s asking as a friend, but as the Dragons’ captain, he has to ask for the team too.

“It’s hard but after our talk last night, I think I’ll have my head on better. I made a bag of things before, but if my Birdie is willing to see what happens then I suppose I’d better figure out how to sweep her off her feet again rather than moping about what went wrong.”

“Your Birdie?” Arche’s forehead creases.

“Blimey, did I call her that?” He nods as I dodge Indy’s lip gloss aimed at my eyeball. “I think it’s second nature even now. I can’t help wanting to fall back into those old routines.”

“So go with it. She’s a grown woman. If she wants you to tap the breaks, she’ll tell you.”

The door handle jiggles and the deadbolt slides open moments before Ronnie pushes the door in. Her gaze lands on Indy and she smiles wide before nodding to Archer and me. “You two better hurry. Practice starts in an hour.”

Archer checks his watch and stands, eyes wide. “Wow, I lost track of time. Let me grab my bag and we can ride together.”

“No, no, it’s fine. Take a moment with your girls and I’ll meet you there,” I say, standing to give Indy one last hug. She wraps her little arms around my neck and kisses my cheek, then slips from my arms and runs to Ronnie.

“You coming to practice?” I ask.

Ronnie shakes her head and lifts Indy onto her hip. “No, not tonight. This one needs something decent for dinner and a little girl time.” She hugs Indy and lowers her back to the floor. “Why don’t you go get your coloring books and we can color?”

“Okay!” Indy squeals and takes off down the hall.

Ronnie turns back to me and offers a sympathetic smile. “Are you okay after everything that happened at the tavern?”

I’m not exactly stoked to run through my mistakes with one of Finchley’s new friends, no matter how long I’ve known Ronnie. I nod and head towards the door. “I will be. I hate to run but you know what’ll happen if we’re late.”

She frowns but waves me off. “All right. Drive safely!”

I shut the door behind me and take a deep breath. Love has found its way into all of my dearest friends’ lives, making me the odd man out most everywhere we go. Hurrying to my car, I try to shove those jealous thoughts from my mind and put it back in the game. If I want them to stop worrying about me, I need to perform better during practice, keep my focus, and get back to joking around.

When I step inside the locker room and let the door slam shut behind me, Evan and Bridger look up from their tasks. Bridger is changing his blades while Evan is strapping on his padding. Both men stare at me for a moment before exchanging glances and bending over in laughter. They’re going at it so hard, the other guys wander from their lockers to see what the fuss is about.

“What are you going on about?” I ask, dropping my gear bag on the bench.

“Are you for real right now?” Evan asks. “You have an audition for Swan Lake before practice?”

“Swan Lake?” I ask and glance down. Blast it all, I’m still wearing Indy’s white feather boa and pink elastic tutu. And makeup. Glittery. In a rainbow of fruit-scented colors.

“You look pretty,” Joel says, biting his lip. It doesn’t work for long. He bursts into laughter with the rest of them.

They’re still going at it when Sullivan enters and drops his bag beside mine, lips spread wide in a massive grin. “Uh, Doyle? Indy said she wants her tutu and feathers back when you’re done with them.”

I narrow my eyes and put my hands on my hips. “You and Ronnie let me walk out like this.”

A chuckle shakes his shoulders and he falls onto the bench, hardly able to keep himself together. “Look,” he chokes between wails. “I had to get you back somehow after all the pranks you’ve pulled.”

I’ve been had. Might as well embrace it.

Stepping back so I don’t kick anything, I twirl around and cross my arms, kick high a few times, and move into a jig. The men laugh so hard, they can’t breathe and it livens me up a little. It feels good to ease back into my usual routine, even though my mind is still filled with visions of a woman I can’t live without. Not anymore.

Spinning around once more, I come to a dead stop when the door opens and Coach Pratt steps in. His gaze settles on me and his lips pinch into a scowl, eyes narrowed, and brow furrowed. A scolding is coming my way, but before he can utter a single word of reproval, he bends over and slaps his thigh, face so red I worry he might pop.

“Doyle, what are you doing?” he gasps.

“Dancing, naturally. I thought that was obvious.” I twirl again, grabbing Archer’s hand. He has no choice but to follow me or fall on his face. His defiance stands no chance against a man in a tutu twirling like a ballerina, and soon he gives in fully, falling into a semi-decent dance with me.

“All right, all right, you two. Get into your gear and get on the ice for warmups,” Pratt says, shaking his head before heading into his office.

We change and head to the ice just as Freya and Finchley come down the hallway. Finchley is dressed in a leotard and carries a bottle of water. She wipes her forehead with a towel and chuckles at something Freya says.

My heart falls down a flight of stairs at just the sight of her, but with that honest laugh and the way she opens up to Freya, I can’t help it.

“Birdie,” I whisper but she hears. She turns her head slightly and my heart soars when the sight of me lifts her lips into a smile.

“Aiden, what are you wearing?” Freya asks.

Blimey, blast it all. I still forgot to take off the makeup.

“Indy got ahold of me before practice,” I admit, thumbing over my shoulder to where Archer and the others are still having a chuckle at my expense.

“Looks good on you,” Freya says with a laugh before heading over to converse with Bridger.

The guys head down to the ice but my feet are frozen in place. Finchley picks at the label on her water bottle and averts her gaze. The rest don’t know our history, just Archer, Dex, and Evander, so when I lift my hand and brush a dribble of sweat from her temple, Bridger pauses his walk toward the rink. He blinks a few times, gaze bouncing between us before he heads down to the ice. I need to tell my friends, my teammates the truth, especially before any of the single guys start getting ideas about her.

“Can we talk later?” I ask, noting how her lips part at my touch.

She clears her throat and shakes her head. “Uh, I don’t know. I’m kind of tired from trying some new things, plus April will be coming into town tomorrow so I really need to clean up and get my guest room ready.”

“April? That’s good. Uh—”

“Doyle, let’s go,” Coach says, nudging me on his way down to the ice where he has every intention of running us ragged. I don’t have a choice but to nod my goodbye and follow my boss, but I look over my shoulder and try not to get to excited about the fact that Finchley watches me go. Her lips curve into a smile and she shakes her head before heading to her office.

Practice moves by in a blur, but at least I don’t tank it like a regular fool this time. Whenever Finchley’s eyes come to mind, I can’t help but smile. She makes me happy. Makes me better. And when practice ends, I find myself smiling like a fool while showering and packing up.

“What kind of leprechaun junk are you planning? You’re smiling too much to be trusted,” Bridger says, slowly opening his locker to ensure I haven’t booby trapped it.

“None. I’m just happy. Haven’t you ever seen a man happy before?” I ask.

“Yes. You, all the time, which is why we were worried there for a while,” he admits. The rest of the guys on first string merge around us, probably to suggest we spend some more time with Dex while he’s in town. Before anyone makes a plan, I decide now is the time to tell my friends, my family, about Finchley.

I take a deep breath and turn to face them. They aren’t expecting it, so they stand straight as if prepared for bad news.

“Don’t look at me like that. I ain’t done anything,” I say.

“Forgive us for being worried about what you’re planning,” Turner says. “None of us escapes your torment.” He’s teasing, but it’s also true.

“This ain’t that. I want to tell you all something.” I plant my bottom on the bench and lean my elbows on my knees. “Over the years, some of you have tried to get me to date. Others have wondered why I don’t. Finchley Bennett is the reason.”

Turner blinks a few times. “The mascot?”

“Yeah. The mascot was my high school sweetheart. Almost married the lass, and now she’s here, back in my life after ten long years without her.” I glance around and notice too many shocked faces to count.

“I feel like there’s a long story in that, but you’re not ready to tell it?” Bridger asks.

“Not particularly. It’s difficult and riddled with painful memories. The whole of it is this, I still love her, never stopped, and I didn’t want to lie to you all about her and me.”

“So, you’re back together?” Joel asks.

I shrug. “It’s a work in progress. I broke it to bloody hades when I left her. I had good reasons, but they amount to almost nothing in hindsight. All that said, she’s fragile, and I would be honored if my family would look out for her.”

Glances are shared, but in the end Archer says, “You know we will.”

“Thanks, Cap,” I say, chewing my bottom lip. “Her father and former fiancé don’t like to take no for an answer. She’s hiding out from them, but it’s not really my place to tell you much more. Can you understand?”

Turner nods while the others follow. I know my guys. I know they will protect Finchley like a sister, and I’m glad to have the weight of admitting my past to them off my shoulders.

“All right. Now that’s out of the way, why don’t we see if Dex is free?” I ask, shifting the topic. The guys go into planning mode, leaving me to my devices.

Doubt hits me like a freight train. The guys filter out, continuing their plan making and chatting about their families while I sit on the bench waiting for them to leave. Needing a moment to gather my thoughts before exiting, I rest my elbows on my knees again and settle my face in my palms. A stress headache knocks on the back of my eyes, signaling a long night ahead of me. It’s probably good Finchley didn’t want to talk tonight. I’d be lousy company.

The bench creaks and a presence settles beside me.

“Aiden,” Evan whispers. “You did great today.”

It’s an opening, his nice way of asking if I need to talk without asking me for the tenth time in only a few days.

“Thanks,” I mumble. “Listen, kid, I’m fighting off a headache. I don’t mean to be rude, but I could use a few minutes.”

He nods and pats my shoulder before standing to retrieve his things. I’m going to miss him around the apartment, but he’s living the dream. A wonderful woman, his career back on track, and a bright future. My heart whines like a dog that’s been kicked one too many times, wanting the same thing, but there isn’t a bloody thing I can do about it but wait. Wait and see.

I sigh and drop my hands.

“How do I prove to her that I can be what she needs?” It wasn’t long ago that my friend had to do the same to win his girl over, so I figure he’s got some advice worth listening to.

Evan slings his bag over his shoulder. “You don’t try to prove it. You just do it. Be what she needs right now no matter how confusing it gets, no matter how hard it is, no matter how long it takes.” He runs a hand through that pretty hair of his. “Bridger told me once to give Greer grace. I’d spent so much time trading rounds with her that I didn’t realize I was digging a canyon between us. I couldn’t expect her to suddenly turn around and care about me after that. So I’m passing the advice along. Give her grace when she lashes out, when she’s angry and confused, and above all else, be patient. Trust me.”

I close my eyes and nod. He’s not wrong. There will certainly be times when she grows frustrated with our past and can’t move forward. Probably even times when she does hate me. I had already planned to live my life alone. There’s no reason why I can’t sit still, wait, and let her set the pace for this reunion, assuming it is God’s will.

“Thanks, kid.”

Evan smacks my back again and heads out, leaving me with more to think about.