Chapter 1

Chapter1

Shane

“Did you pack an entire fucking pharmacy?” I ask as I look down at West’s bed. His neat piles of clothes are stacked beside a toiletry bag stuffed with prescription medicines. “You look like a dealer with a weird taste in meds.”

West rolls his eyes. “You’re not being helpful. Less criticizing my immunosuppressants and more standing there and looking pretty while I do all the hard work.”

I smirk, shaking my head as I lift his brand-new but empty suitcase onto the bed while he lounges back against his stack of pillows. “Yeah. Okay. Uncle James is going to be here in an hour to drive us to your parents’ house.”

“You’re going to love it there at Christmas,” West says, a bright smile on his face. “Mom really goes all out with decorating. It’s kind of like walking into an elf’s workshop or the North Pole.”

“You know there’s nothing at the North Pole, right?” I ask, my stomach churning the more I think about Christmas.

This will be the first real Christmas I’ve had since my mom died. When West first invited me to his family home — the day after I was released from the hospital — I had nearly turned him down.

Even after everything we’ve gone through together, Christmas with his family seems like we’re moving too fast.

A pillow collides with my head. “I know that, asshole. But you’re still going to love it. Dad has someone come to do the lights every year and with all the fresh snow on the ground, it’s going to look magical.”

“I didn’t think you liked Christmas that much,” I say as I grab a pile of his clothes and stuff them in the suitcase. “You don’t seem like the type.”

West shrugs. “It’s alright. I just want this to be a great Christmas for you. Especially after all that you’ve done for me.”

West grabs my hand and pulls me to him. I lean over the bed, staring at him for a moment before his hand clasps the back of my head. He pulls me down, his mouth slanting against mine.

The kiss is slow, but I can already feel my cock straining against my jeans. As much as I want to strip down and take him now, packing be damned, we have to finish getting ready.

As I pull away from him, West groans and gives me a playful glare.

“We don’t have time for you to be starting anything,” I say as I shove another pile of clothing in the suitcase. “And you’re supposed to be resting. You know that you’re still tired after the surgery.”

“We were both cleared for sex, and you know it. Hell, the doctor said it was fine.

I sigh and run my hand through my hair. “West, we have less than an hour to finish packing your things and I need to pack mine too. If you keep trying to distract me, that’s not going to happen.”

West smirks and shrugs. “I can help. You’re the one who insisted I sit down.”

I shake my head at him. “Because you decided that a two-hour walk would be a good idea this morning and then came back feeling sore.”

“I’m fine,” West says, his hand settling on his stomach. “I just need to move around.”

“I love you. I don’t want to see anything happen to you. I already came close to losing you once.”

“If you keep treating me like I’m going to break at any moment, we’re both going to start resenting each other.”

I smile and lean over to press a quick kiss to his temple. “I’m not going to treat you like glass forever, but right now, I can do this for you. Let me.”

“Once we get to my parents’ house, you’re not going to be lifting a finger. It’s my turn to do things for you.”

Even though he knows I’m likely not going to let that happen, I don’t argue with him. If it means that he stays sitting on the bed instead of exerting himself, I’m happy.

While I know he’s allowed to move around — his doctor told us so at the weekly appointment yesterday — I still think he’s doing too much. I know West. He’s going to keep pushing himself until he thinks he’s ready to be back on the football team and playing again.

His walk this morning was twice the length it should have been. I had a final assignment due before the holidays to finish so I couldn’t go with him and make him take a shorter one.

When he walked in the door afterward, I was sure he only had a few seconds before he hit the ground.

“Alright, I’m going to go pack my things,” I say as I load the last of his belongings into his suitcase. “And then we are going to go downstairs and meet Uncle James.”

“Did you forget you were in the hospital nearly as long as I was?” West asks, crossing his arms over his chest and arching an eyebrow. “You can’t keep doing everything on your own. Not anymore.”

“West, please,” I say, my tone pleading as I zip the suitcase shut. “My five days were nothing compared to your ten. The more time you spend arguing with me, the more I’m going to have to rush through packing.”

“Fine,” West says, grabbing my hand and pulling me to him again. He brushes his lips against mine softly before smiling. “I could use a nap before I have to sit awkwardly in your uncle’s car while neither of you talk much.”

I shrug. “We’re getting better, but it’s going to take some time. You know he and I have our problems.”

“Every family has their problems. Either way, you go pack. Wake me up when it’s time to go.”

After kissing him again quickly, I head to my own dorm room. I’m glad Ethan, my roommate, left for Christmas early. It’s nice to have the room to myself while I pack and worry about spending time with West’s family.

Since the surgery, I’ve been meeting with West and his parents every Sunday morning for their traditional breakfast. They’re nice people, and they accept our relationship now, but they still put me on edge. It’s weird to sit with a family again, especially people who are so different from me.

The Perkins family is loaded. They have more money than any of them know what to do with. Sitting with them in fancy brunch restaurants, having my meals paid for over the last two weeks, is making me more than a little uncomfortable.

I sigh and continue packing, trying to push the worry from my mind. Everything is going to be okay this weekend. West and I are going to spend a nice holiday with his parents, brother, and sister.

There’s a part of me that wonders if I should be leaving Uncle James over the holidays. Even though he didn’t seem to have a problem with it, I think he gets lonely.

The alarm on my phone rings just after I’ve put my coat on. I grab my suitcase and head down the hall to West’s dorm to wake him up. He’s on the bed, awake but looking down at his phone when I walk in.

“Time to go, Sleeping Beauty,” I say as I grab his suitcase. “Uncle James is waiting downstairs for us.”

“I can carry it,” West says, reaching for the suitcase as he gets up.

I pull the suitcase away from him and shake my head. “No, it’s fine. You said I wasn’t going to be lifting a finger after we got to your parents’ house. We’re still at school right now so I am going to be lifting all the fingers while you relax.”

“I’m serious,” West says as he follows me out of the room, locking the door behind him. “Once we get to my parents’, you aren’t going to be doing anything.”

“I’m not going to sit around and do nothing,” I retort.

“I want to spoil you and take care of you,” West says as we descend into the common area of the dorms. “Why won’t you let me?”

I shrug and push the door open to head outside. The wind is cold and there’s a thin blanket of snow that covers the ground. Though Tennessee doesn’t get much snow, when there is some, the world seems to become a frosted wonderland.

“Shane.”

“West,” I say in the same tone, looking over my shoulder at him. “Drop it.”

“No. It’s my turn to take care of you.”

I study him for a minute before loading the suitcases into the trunk of Uncle James’ car. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“Nope,” West says, opening the back door. “You’re going to be taken care of on this trip whether you like it or not. I’m tired of feeling like the invalid in our relationship.”

Before I get into the passenger seat of the car, I say to him, “You’re not an invalid, but you do need to be careful.

He plants a brief, hard kiss on my lips as if to say, “I hear you.”

It’s difficult for me to reconcile the fact that he’s going to be on medications for the rest of his life. There are weekly appointments with Dr. Sullivan for the next few months. After that, the appointments are monthly. As long as he is still doing well, the appointments will eventually taper off to once a year.

It’s the fear that keeps me treating him like an invalid. I know it is. There’s a part of me that thinks that if I take care of him, I can keep him from dying like my mom did.

“Alright,” Uncle James says once we’re settled in the car. “Off for a Christmas vacation you two go.”

“Thank you for driving us,” I say, smiling slightly.

Uncle James glances at me and nods. “I hope you have a good time. You’ve earned it.”

The rest of the ride is silent. West sleeps in the backseat while I get an early start on some required reading for my classes.

By the time we pull into the driveway of his parents’ house, I’ve had more than enough time to worry.

Though the Perkins and I get along when we go to brunch, I don’t know if that will continue once I’m in their home.

“Have a good time,” Uncle James says. As soon as West is out of the car and the door is shut behind him, he adds, “I was thinking that you and I could do something for Christmas when you get back.”

“I don’t have to stay with the Perkinses for Christmas,” I say, unease settling in my stomach. “I could spend it with you if you don’t want to be alone.”

Uncle James shakes his head. “No. You two need some time to be normal kids together. Sneaking around when you think nobody is looking and all of that. Both of you have been acting like adults for too long.”

“We are adults,” I say, rolling my eyes though there’s a smile on my face.

“I know,” Uncle James says. “But you haven’t enjoyed life since your mom got sick. Take this time to have fun. Real life will still be waiting for you after the holidays.”

“Thanks for driving us up here. Have a safe drive back,” I say, nodding to him once before getting out of the car.

West is carrying both the suitcases to the front door. I sigh, thinking he’s already pushing himself too hard. He doesn’t need to take care of me. I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time.

Still, I don’t deny him this because I know it’s important to him.

Instead, I take my time walking to the house, looking at the lights strung along the roof and the balconies. More lights are wrapped through the hedges that dot the front yard and line all the windows.

“It looks amazing at night,” West says from the doorway. He walks up behind me and wraps his arms around my chest. Resting his chin on my shoulder, he says, “Come on, baby, there are people waiting to talk to you.”

I swallow hard and nod, following him even though I feel like running. Christmas with my boyfriend’s family is a big deal. Especially when that family didn’t like me at first. And when that family couldn’t open their eyes and see what a wonderful man my boyfriend is.

As I follow him into the house, I have no clue how I’m going to spend the weekend keeping my opinions to myself.