Chapter 18

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

DRAKE

I wasn’t surprised to see Luna’s note about picking up an extra shift when I woke up the morning after our explosive heart to heart and mind-blowing sexcapades. I was glad she was taking the initiative herself to make up for the work she’d missed. Getting back to normal was something we both needed to do.

With her gone, and my mom back in Porter’s Corner, I had the apartment to myself and as I brewed a pot of coffee, allowing myself some quiet moments of reflection, I realized that today was the first time I hadn’t opened my eyes and immediately remembered, being stabbed in the heart with the searing pain of loss the second my brain was awake enough to process it.

Of course once I realized this, the pain came, along with a moment of guilt for having forgotten, even for a few moments.

But I took a deep breath, and a long sip of strong coffee and refused to let either the pain or the guilt overwhelm me, instead focusing on the promises I’d made to Luna and the words my mother had spoken before she’d left. At the time, the things she’d been asking had seemed impossible, and in some ways, they still did, but after my long talk and session with Luna yesterday, and hearing how close she’d come to self-sabotaging, I knew I needed to step it up and make Luna and our relationship a priority, even when it was hard.

If only I had any idea how to do that.

I was still sitting there sipping my coffee, staring into space, waiting for my brain to wake up enough to have solid ideas, when my phone rang. I glanced at the screen and scooped it up quickly when I saw that it was my boss, Master Derek calling.

“Morning, Master Derek,” I greeted cheerfully. “What can I do for you?”

“Drake!” the voice on the other end of the line boomed the way only Master Derek could. “How are you doing? Ready to come back to work?”

I mulled over the question, well aware I could say no, and he would understand. The truth was, I’d barely left my apartment, aside from trips to the funeral home and the funeral itself. It would probably feel good to get back to a normal routine. “I think I might be, Sir.”

“Great! Why don’t you come by my office a little later? Say an hour or so? I’ll go over some upcoming shifts with you, and have you sign some paperwork so I can process your family emergency leave.”

I frowned and pulled the phone away from my ear to squint at it. Family Emergency Leave? I was pretty sure there was no such thing. Setting my phone down on the table, I pushed the button for speakerphone and shook my head, even though he couldn’t see me. “Oh no, Sir. You don’t need to pay me for missing work. I’m sure I left you in a bind and I know everyone had to scramble to cover my shifts. I appreciate all that you and the other Masters did for me. Just not having to worry about work was a relief.”

“Nonsense!” Derek boomed. “That’s not how we operate here. Rawhide takes care of their own. I’m about to head to the Big House for lunch. I’ll see you in my office in an hour to sort out the paperwork.”

And that was that. Before I could say another word, he was gone.

Knowing there was nothing I could do about my stubborn boss and his gracious generosity, I turned my attention back to Luna. Yesterday had been sort of a breakthrough for us, in many ways. I wanted to make sure she knew how much her commitment meant to me, and I wanted to honor it. I knew Luna well, and I knew it hadn’t been easy for her to stay when running was the thing that came so naturally to her.

She’d made some mistakes, and some choices I would have preferred she not make, but in the end, she’d done the right thing by coming back to me, coming clean and communicating. I was ever so grateful for that. I’d already lost my dad. I couldn’t bear to lose Luna too.

But what could I do that wouldn’t scare her off? I knew what I wanted to do. It was what I’d always wanted to do. What I dreamed about doing… I wanted to wife her up. As soon as possible.

But with the Luna I knew, no matter what breakthroughs she’d had, that would be a surefire way to make her run screaming in the other direction.

Draining my coffee mug, I stood up, poured another, and drank it standing in the kitchen while my brain searched its recesses for a gesture big enough to show Luna how proud I was of her, but not so big as to end up scaring her off.

By the time I finished my second mug, I was still coming up blank and it was time to get ready for my meeting with Master Derek.

It wasn’t until I was in the shower that I realized that that was, quite possibly all the answer I needed. Master Derek was a romantic, a matchmaker, and a master schemer himself when he wanted to be. Maybe he would have a better idea than I could come up with.

Anything would be better than what I was contemplating, really. Because I wasn’t actually drawing a blank. In my head, I was daydreaming about popping the question, on Christmas morning in the most romantic way possible.

Doing that felt like the only way I could possibly ensure that Luna and I had the best Christmas, this year and every year to come, and that this supposed to be joyous season didn’t stay marred with grief. My mom had been right when she’d said my dad wouldn’t want that. But I’d been honest when I’d told Luna that making the effort this Christmas felt herculean.

Those were exactly the thoughts I expressed forty-five minutes later in Master Derek’s office.

The grin on his face when I finished speaking was the most self-satisfied I’d ever seen him look. I chalked it up to his book club matchmaking efforts, and reminded myself that his success rate in matchmaking and Ranch magic was the exact reason I was sitting there pouring my heart out.

“Well, Drake,” he cried out, slapping the edge of his desk. “It sounds like your only option is to propose!”

I groaned. “That’s exactly what I’m trying not to do,” I explained. “Luna is so commitment phobic it took me years just to get her to date me. I can’t propose this soon.” Even as I spoke the words of denial, hope sparked deep in my core. Could I? Was Master Derek right? Was I just being stubborn and scared? Was I letting fear rule me?

He seemed to think so. “Nonsense. That was then, this is now, as they say. And the two of you have already been through so much together. Anyone can see that you two are made for each other, You’re, as my Sadie likes to say, obviously end game.”

I stifled a laugh at the adolescent turn of phrase coming from my boss’s lips. “You think so?”

“Boy, I know so! And you’re scared she won’t say yes. I get that. But you’re forgetting one thing.”

“Oh yeah? What’s that?”

“Christmas is a season for miracles. Especially here at the Ranch.”

I nodded, mindlessly as I thought about all the Christmas magic I’d personally seen take place here over the years. And it wasn’t just Christmas either. Halloween, Valentine’s Day, heck, even Star Wars day had seen their own brand of Rawhide miracles. Maybe Ranch magic was just a thing that existed year round. And maybe, after everything, Luna and I deserved our share.

Ignoring the seed of doubt I couldn’t quite shake, I leaned forward. “What exactly do you have in mind?”

Three hours later, I was driving home from the city with a beautiful pink diamond ring in my glovebox, praying I wasn’t making the biggest mistake of my life by plotting to ask the woman I loved to love me back, forever.