20. Indy

Chapter 20

Indy

“Jeff could have at least said goodbye,” I grouse.

“I don’t think we were the reason he was anxious to leave Bryson City in the dust.”

“He hurt Lee,” I point out.

Breaker exhales, but I can see his grimace. “Yeah. I think he will get around to making it up to her. He has some shit to work through.”

“It’d serve him right if she doesn’t accept it.”

I frown as I look out the window. It has been two days since Breaker and I began sleeping together. I don’t know how it’s possible, but each time with him seems to get better than the last. If it keeps going like this, I may not survive our relationship. I’m already wondering if you can die from an overload of pleasure. If it’s possible, Lord knows I’m probably very close to death’s door. Everything has been pretty perfect except for two dark spots. The first is Jeff just packing up and leaving without a word. Cooper let me know what he returned to Black Stone Ridge and Carson’s ranch. I’ve spoken to Lee twice. She’s grieving the loss of her puppy, and nearly destroyed because she woke up alone after he brought her home and took care of her. I check on her daily. Lee hasn’t said anything, but I know having Jeff walk away has nearly destroyed her. I could hear the pain in her voice when she asked how he was, and I had to admit that he left the day after she lost Otto.

I also know I’m distracting myself with Lee’s problems. I mean, I am worried about her. Still, if I concentrate on her pain and issues, I don’t have to worry so much about the second reason I’m stressed out of my mind. Breaker wants us to go back to Kentucky in five days.

Five.

I can’t help but panic. What if he gets his memory back and decides he made a mistake with me? I thought I was so sure of what the two of us had, but just the thought of him going back to his old life—the one he had before me and Tinny—is terrifying. It would destroy both of us if Breaker walked away at this point. Tinny adores him. As day after day passes, I can’t seem to stop the fear building inside me.

“Honey,” he murmurs.

I know he hates when I say that, but it’s true just the same. Breaker is always taking up for Jeff—not that he tells me why. When I question him further, he just says it’s not his story to tell.

It’s annoying. I let out a breath and just keep looking out the window. “You should have let me drive myself today,” I complain.

“You’re coming into town to get feed. You need a man to load it up for you.”

“It might not be safe.”

“Bullshit. Bryson City is not a large town, honey. They’ve already seen me around with Cooper and Jeff. They had to realize where I was staying. Besides, from what Devil said, my club has already taken care of the Feral Kings. Carson has pretty much said the same thing to Cooper. There’s no point in me hiding out any longer.”

“Except you have people around here searching for you.”

He looks at me as he pulls into the feed store. “Does that really matter that much? Hell, Doc, we’ll be heading to Kentucky soon. If they find me before then, they find me. I’m not worried and you sure as hell shouldn’t be either.”

I don’t mean to, but my mouth opens, and I blurt out the questions that have me worried the most. “Have you even thought about what happens when you meet with them? What if they want you back in Kentucky? What if you remember everything and decide that Tinny and I don’t fit into your old life?”

“Are you really worried about that, Doc?”

“Of course I am! I’d be insane not to be, Breaker.”

He stares at me like I’m insane, shaking his head. “What’s it going to take for you to have trust in me, honey?”

“I trust you,” I mutter, not meeting his eyes.

“No, you don’t.”

“I do!” I argue, forcing myself to look into his eyes. “If I didn’t, I wouldn’t bring you into my daughter’s life. Hell, you wouldn’t be in my bed. I’d been celibate since Tinny’s father.”

He pulls off to the side of the road, shoving it into park, and stares at me. We’re in my transport van that I bought for the clinic. I’d rather be in my truck, but I had quite a few supplies I needed to pick up today. Breaker took the keys after he informed me he was taking me into town. It annoyed me, but I let it go. I’m just used to making all my own decisions.

“You trust me, just not enough. How in the hell do you think I would break your or Tinny’s heart after you gave it to me to keep safe?”

“I didn’t?—”

“I wouldn’t finish what you’re about to say if I were you, Doc,” he growls, startling me to the point I snap my mouth shut. He gets out of the van, not saying a word. He comes around to my side and opens the door. Breaker then reaches in, unbuckling my seatbelt and all but hauling me out of the vehicle before pinning me up against the side of the van. “Do you fucking think I would share your bed if there was even one part of me that said I was going to cast you aside if my memory comes back?”

“You don’t know how you’ll feel when you get your memories back, Breaker.”

“Bullshit. I know exactly how I’m going to feel. I’m all in, Doc. I may not remember my past, but I know the man I am—memories or not. I am not the kind of man who would spend his time falling in love with a woman and her daughter if I weren’t planning on staying with them until they put me in the ground. The only one questioning any damn thing around here is you. Now, I’m going to ask you one time, and I’m warning you, think very carefully before answering. Do you want me in your life?”

I look up at him and I know he can see the surprise and pure terror on my face. “Of course, I do. I’m just scared, Breaker.”

“Honey, trust me. I get that. You can’t keep punishing me for what your asshole ex did to you, though.”

“You don’t even know what kind of life I had with my ex,” I mutter.

“You’ll tell me when you want me to know. I still know the dickwad had to be a fucking fool to let you and your little girl slip through his fingers. I also know that you would walk through fire to give that little girl a complete family. That means you would have stayed with him if he put forth any effort at all.”

“Breaker, the way you talk makes it all seem so simple. There’s just one thing you keep forgetting.”

“What’s that?”

“There’s a whole life waiting for you back in Kentucky. It’s one that Tinny and I have no part of. What happens when we face that? There’s a family back there wanting their son or brother back. What about your club? I’m sure you had a job, and brothers in the club that meant a lot to you. Once those memories come back, where does that leave me and Tinny?”

“Doc, I didn’t say I had all the answers. All I truly know for sure is that wherever I go, it will be with you and Tinny at my side. If I get my memories back and I want you to try living in Kentucky, would you?”

“It’s not that easy. I have my practice, Tinny has school. There’s Cooper and Iva. They’ve become our family …”

“That’s not answering me, Doc. What we have is so fucking good. Would you consider it?”

“I would, but I can’t lie. It would be really hard for me to pull the trigger on that, Breaker. If it was just me, I wouldn’t even hesitate …”

“But it’s not.”

I nod.

“Then whatever happens with my memory. I’ll be in Tennessee. My family can visit.”

“What about your club?”

“What about it? They apparently have motorcycle clubs here. I’ll find one aligned with my old club, or I’ll expand your place and make it a working ranch. There are other options, Doc. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing on either side.”

“You’d be willing to give up so much for me?”

“For you and Tinny. If the reward is living my days with you two, then I’m not giving up shit, honey. I’m gaining the world.”

I don’t know what to say to that. There’s so much moving through my mind. I can only think of one thing. I go up on the tips of my toes, wrap my arms around Breaker’s neck and I kiss him with all the love I have inside of me, because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I love him. No one in my entire life has ever made me feel like this. They sure haven’t offered to give up their entire life to put me and Tinny first.

Eventually, he pulls away, and I let him. “As much as I love kissing you, if we keep this up, I’m going to fuck you. Since we’re beside the road, I’m thinking that’s something you absolutely don’t want to happen.”

I giggle. I can’t help it. “I mean, I may want it but it’s not a good look for a single mother in a small town. If we got caught, the gossip would probably hit Tinny’s school and …” I trail off, looking up at him with mischief in my eyes.

“Get your sweet ass over to the driver’s seat and let’s get those supplies loaded. The sooner we get them and get back, the sooner you can make things up to me.”

“Make things up to you?” I ask, my eyebrow arching as I study Breaker.

“For doubting your man. I made promises to you and to your daughter. I plan on keeping each and every one, honey.”

“I thought you were driving?”

“I think it’s better if you do. Leaving you with nothing to do lets your brain think too damn much.”

I sigh, because honestly, he’s not wrong.

“Okay,” I murmur, stretching to touch my lips to his.

“You’re not going to argue? Does this mean you’re admitting I’m right, Indy Anna ?”

“Don’t push it, Mattie .”

His laughter follows me as I get back to the truck. The rest of our trip goes easy, and I’m thankful. I feel better about everything, but I still must be a little off kilter about everything. The entire time we’re in town, I feel like we’re being watched. Breaker just rolls his eyes at me. I know I’m probably being silly.

But I still can’t shake the feeling …