16. Indy

Chapter 16

Indy

I did everything I could. I know I did, but that reality lies bitter in my stomach. As I hold Lee and let her cry in my arms, I just feel like a failure. I can feel the tears rolling down my face, but I ignore them.

“I’m so sorry, Lee,” I whisper as Luna whines at our feet.

“It’s all my fault,” she whispers through her broken sobs.

“Stop that, Rylee,” Jeff says, surprising me. I hadn’t even realized he was in the lobby with us. I watch as he moves in front of me. He goes to the other side of Rylee and then pulls her from my hold and gently cradles her body against him.

“He died because of me. I wasn’t worth it. He should have saved himself,” she bawls.

“Bullshit,” he snaps. “Indy, can you leave us alone, please?”

“I …”

I like Jeff, but he doesn’t strike me as the kind of man who can be gentle, and Lee is broken in ways others don’t know. I do, but we have a similar past—although I get the feeling hers was much, much worse.

“C’mon, honey. Let’s give them some privacy,” Breaker says. I look up at him. He can see the question in my eyes. “It’s okay,” he mouths, not really saying the words out loud. He makes a motion with his head toward the couple in question. I drop my gaze to them, and I see the way Jeff has pulled her onto his lap and is finger combing her hair gently, while placing a tender kiss on her forehead. Something about the way he does that—combined with the way he’s looking at her—puts me at ease. I get up and quietly leave the two of them and Luna alone.

“I didn’t realize he knew Lee,” I whisper quietly when we get outside.

“I think it might go a little deeper than that,” Breaker says.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not sure, but judging from Jeff’s reaction to her, that little girl in there is one of two women, and both are pretty important to him.”

I give him a mean look. “Lee deserves better than that.”

Now Breaker is frowning at me as if he’s disappointed in me. “Jeff is a good guy, Indy,” he replies, and I can hear the annoyance in his voice. He doesn’t like what I said at all.

“He is, but Lee deserves a man who only cares about her—not her and someone else. No woman deserves to come in second to another, Breaker. Lee’s had a hard past. When she first moved here, she was kind of a shell of a person. The last thing she needs is a man who will hurt her—even if he doesn’t mean to.”

He studies me thoughtfully. Then a semi-smile spreads on his lips and his features soften. “It will be okay, Doc. Now, tell me, how are you doing?”

I sigh, feeling defeated. “I tried everything I could, Breaker.”

“I know, honey.”

“I couldn’t save him. The damage was too severe.”

“I’m sorry, honey,” he purrs, pulling me into his arms.

I rest my head against his chest and let his warmth seep into me. I pick at imaginary lint on his shirt and get up my nerve to tell him something that’s kind of been on my mind for the last few days. “Breaker?”

“Yeah, honey?” he responds, his hand coming up to wrap around my wrist to keep me from tugging at his shirt. I look up at him to find him smiling down at me. I take a moment to memorize the look on his face.

“What would you say if I told you I’m getting worried that I won’t be able to let you go back to Kentucky?”

“Doc—”

“I know that sounds horrible, but Tinny and I, well, you … I mean, the two of us love having you here. I don’t want … Crap, I’m messing this all up.”

“Doc, stop. I don’t want to leave you either.”

“You don’t?”

“Honey, I didn’t want to leave you a week ago when I found out who I was. Do you really think that has changed—especially when I get to wake up with you in my arms every morning?”

“Really?” I ask, almost afraid to breathe.

His finger curls gently under my chin. He tilts my head back slightly and then leans down to kiss me softly. “Really,” he repeats, but the way he says that one word sounds like a vow.

“What are we going to do? You have a family waiting for you in Kentucky. You really do need to let them know you’re alive. We need to face that.”

He grins down at me, his eyes practically sparkling. “I like that.”

I frown. “Like what?”

“You said we need to face it.”

“Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to overstep,” I whisper, mortified by the slip of the tongue. He’s going to think I’m insane. I mean, sure, we’ve been sharing a bed, but other than a few kisses and maybe a couple of make out sessions that were more PG13 than rated R, nothing has happened. I shouldn’t have just assumed his battles were part mine.

“Hey, stop that, Indy.”

“Huh?” I ask, still lost in my panic.

“Don’t you remember what I told you when I got back from visiting Devil with Cooper?”

“Have I mentioned how much I’m glad your road name is Breaker and not Devil, Satan, or any variation thereof?”

He chuckles at me. “Focus, Doc. Do you remember what I told you when I came back that day?”

“That you wanted me to call you Mattie?”

“Keep it up, Doc, and I’ll be turning your ass red tonight,” he fake-growls. Despite knowing it’s a fake threat, I feel heat zap through my insides, and I jerk as I feel my panties grow wet at the thought of Breaker spanking me combined with the growling noise he just made. I bite down on my lip to keep from letting a moan escape. My body feels foreign to me, craving things I’ve never even thought of from a man before. Considering my ex, having a man spank me should be the last thing I’d desire, but … “You like the idea of me spanking your ass, don’t you, Doc?”

“Um …”

He grins. “You and I are going to continue this conversation tonight after we get our girl to bed.”

For a second, my heart stops. Our girl. He can’t know what his words mean to me. I don’t even think he realizes he referred to Tinny as his. It was natural and I like that even more than him saying it. He loves my daughter. I think I knew it all along, but as a single parent, you can’t help but worry. Everything you do, every step you make affects your child. You have to always keep them in mind. Bringing new people into their lives is—in some ways—like navigating a minefield. Tinny is the reason I haven’t allowed myself to have sex with Breaker. I know it’s coming. I get closer and closer to that step as the hours pass. I want him. I can’t keep fighting it. I don’t even want to.

“Okay,” I whisper, unable to stop the smile that lights up my face. He loves my daughter. Is there a chance that he could love me one day?

“Save whatever wicked thought you have in your mind right now, honey. Do you think you’d be willing to go to Kentucky with me?”

I nod yes. I don’t even have to think about it. I want to be with him. I want his family to see that he cares about me, and I care about him. I want them to know that whatever his past was, me and Tinny are his future. “When are you wanting to go? I can start clearing off my calendar at the clinic. Cooper and Iva will be here to check in on the place.”

“How about next week? I’d like to get it over with. I don’t like knowing I’m hurting people. Plus, I know I need to face this head on. I would have done it when I first found out, but honestly, I want you by my side. It’s probably not something I should admit. I’d rather you think of me as a man who will fight the world for you and not blink—and trust me, Indy, I will. I just need you in my corner when I face them. I need to know you’re there and you’ll support me and care regardless of what happens.”

“I do, you know?”

“Do what?”

“Care about you regardless, Breaker. I don’t care if you get your memories back or you don’t.”

“Honey—”

“It’s not important to me if you’re a badass biker, or a cuddly teddy bear who watches Frozen with my daughter and sings off-key with Elsa.”

“It’s not that off-key,” he grumbles.

I giggle. “Whatever you say, big fella’,” I joke. “The point is, I’ll be by your side regardless.”

“I’m going to hold you to that, Doc.”

“Do it. I dare you,” I whisper back, and then I get even braver. I kiss him, pouring all the emotions that I’m feeling, but not ready to name just yet.

But maybe soon …