Chapter 9

9

“ W here’s Dom?” Danny was craning his neck around to look for his older brother-slash-groomsman, making it very difficult for Ruby to successfully tie his necktie.

She whacked him upside the head. “Hold still,” she instructed over his yelp of protest. Untangling the sloppy knot in the silk, she began again. “Dom is getting the water and protein bar you asked for. I told you to eat your damn breakfast this morning.”

“I was too nervous,” Danny muttered, rubbing the back of his head. But otherwise, he stood obediently still as Ruby finally got the intricate Eldridge knot he’d insisted on tied at his throat. She’d watched countless YouTube tutorials and practiced on anyone that would stand still long enough back in LA, so she was determined that it would be absolutely perfect. With a gimlet eye, she inspected the knot. Flawless , she thought with satisfaction, and stepped back to fetch his white and scarlet rose boutonniere.

Danny looked in the mirror. “Hey, that looks great, Rubes. Thanks for learning the technique.”

“You’re welcome. It was fun, really. Hold still again.” Carefully, she held the little bunch of flowers against his lapel and began to work the long pin through the layers of fabric and flower stems. The fragrance aroma of fresh, beautiful roses and greenery filled her nose. It reminded her of the glimpse she’d caught of the sanctuary as she passed through that morning, dress bag in one hand and her hair wound so tight on sponge rollers she still had a headache three hours later. “Have you seen the sanctuary yet? It’s beautiful.”

Confusion flashed across Danny’s face. “No, isn’t that bad luck?”

“It’s bad luck to see the bride, not the place you’re getting married! Come on.” The boutonniere was securely in place, and she gave it a pat before grabbing her little brother by the wrist. “Follow me.”

With her free hand, she scooped up a handful of her maroon satin skirt and scampered out of the groom’s room at St Clare’s Catholic Church, Danny in tow. St. Clare’s was a maze, but there had not been any major renovations to the historic building since she’d last attended Mass as a teenager, so she easily led him through back hallways and staircases to the church foyer, where the ornate wooden doors to the sanctuary stood open.

It was gratifying to see Danny’s jaw drop at the sight of Angela’s rose-festooned paradise. The heady aroma of the flowers filled the air and wreathed around their heads, and Ruby could see the blissful looks on the faces of the handful of attendees who had arrived early. Stands with huge vases full of scarlet and white roses, an exquisitely crafted archway for the wedding party to pass under at the entrance, and somehow, even globes of roses studded with twinkling fairy lights were descending from the sanctuary’s pendant lamps. Ruby didn’t want to think about how Angela’s floral artist cousin had managed to safely hang those. Or how he’d gotten permission.

“All she ever said she wanted in a wedding was a room full of roses,” Danny breathed, a gentle happiness glowing in his eyes. “Look at my girl making her dreams come true.”

Seeing the pure love he had for Angela, for her dreams, it made Ruby melt. “God, I hope I have what you two have one day,” she breathed, the yearning for it making her heart clench in her chest. “The way you love her… we should all be so lucky.”

Happiness gave way to astonishment in Danny’s eyes as he turned to look at her. “But you do have it, Rubes. The way Sasha looks at you when you’re not looking… how she loves making you happy. That kiss at the party! Of course you have that.” He gazed at her searchingly. “Don’t you know you have it?”

“I…” Confusion whirled through her brain as puzzle pieces of information began to slot into place. “I guess I…”

“I guess you didn’t know! That’s crazy, you bring her out here to meet the fam and you don’t even know what you have.” Danny threw his head back and guffawed. “Don’t you write all those books about love? I’d figured you’d be the first person to know when you met the love of your life.”

Love of my life! Sash? “It’s different when it’s in person,” she hedged, still trying to make sense of what he’d seen that she hadn’t put together. The things she had seen that she’d filed away or forced herself not to examine too closely.

“It must be, because otherwise I have no idea how you missed it.” He shook his head and clapped her on the shoulder. “Well, get yourself together, Rubes. Don’t take Sasha for granted. She’s a keeper, and you know Ma and Pa love her already. You can’t let that go.”

“Oh, you’re just hopped up on lovey dovey wedding vibes. What do you know?” she asked with a shaky laugh. Could she possibly have stumbled her way into what she’d been looking for her whole life?

“More than you do, apparently.” Danny rolled his eyes. “You know how happy I was when you said you and Sasha had gotten together and you were bringing her home? Like, I always thought you two should be together, I was thrilled. I’ve liked her since our first trip out to LA, I was amazed you were taking so long to pair up.”

That was definitely news to her. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I was about to if you brought anyone else.” He grinned. “Thanks for taking that off my plate. But come on, we gotta go back to the groom’s room and see if Dom found me that protein bar.”

“Yeah,” she said absently, trudging along behind him, fingers clenched so tightly around the wad of satin skirt in her hand that she knew it was going to be visibly crumpled and her mother was going to kill her when she saw it. But that was just going to have to take a back seat while Ruby grappled with the fact that Sasha might actually have feelings for her, her little brother thought they belonged together, and she… didn’t hate the idea. Not even a little bit.

“Mama Elena, can I get you something? A glass of pineapple juice, a sandwich, something?” Sasha tugged at the collar of her black button-down. She hoped she wasn’t accidentally loosening the knot of her maroon tie as she did so. She’d been unusually clumsy tying it that morning and wasn’t in the mood to fuss with it again.

Elena Fierelli was lounging on a divan in the family room of St. Clare’s, looking cool and collected. Sasha had been assigned to keep her unbothered and calm, but she was starting to feel as though she was entirely surplus to requirements. The woman was fully dressed apart from her pale pink satin pumps, which were neatly lined up next to the little lounging couch.

“I’m fine, sweetheart.” Elena stretched and wiggled her toes. “Just enjoying the last few minutes of freedom my tootsies are gonna have for a while. Don’t you worry about me. I’m just fine.”

Meanwhile, Sasha was somehow as jittery as though this were her own wedding. Fat chance . “You’re not… I don’t know. Nervous? Excited?”

“Honey, Danny is my baby boy and I love him, but he’s the fourth of my kids to get married.” Elena smiled, and Sasha saw so much of Ruby in the glowing good humor of it. “Of course I’m excited! But it’s gonna be a long day, I’m not burning up my energy too early.” She pointed to the shoes. “I need all my reserves to deal with wearing those and still get in a few dances at the reception while my temper’s sweet.”

Sasha eyed the shoes. Unlike Ruby’s shoes with their barely an inch block heel, Elena’s shoes sported a slender, three-inch stiletto. “Why on Earth did you choose that heel?”

Looking almost affronted, Elena sat up straighter and yanked up the knee-length skirt of her pink dress, lifting one stockinged leg into the air and pointing her toes. “Because I may be in my sixties, but I’ve still got great legs! I’ll be wearing heels until I break a hip.”

It was an effort not to choke herself laughing. Elena really was so much like her younger daughter, down to the twinkle in her eyes. “Got it. Fair point.”

Swinging her feet down to the floor, Elena stood up and walked over to Sasha. She reached up to cup Sasha’s face in her hands and pulled her down for a forehead kiss and a smile. “You have been a gem this week, my darling. I really can’t thank you enough for helping out as much as you have. I know Rose and Cecelia appreciate you lending a hand in the kitchen.” Her face was soft with fondness. “I’m so glad my Ruby has found a wonderful woman like yourself to bring home.”

Guilt pierced Sasha’s heart. The Fierellis were such an amazing family, and had been so kind to her, and she and Ruby had been lying to them this whole week. It was going to be as painful to leave them behind as it would be to give up on her dream of being able to love Ruby for real. She had come to adore them, to feel accepted into their fold.

What would Ruby tell them? How would their “breakup” go? As good a writer as Ruby was, Sasha was sure it would be heartwrenching. And as close as they were—even closer now after this week, the last few months—she trusted that it would be something that was kind to her.

Still, it was a depressing thought, a dream popping like a balloon in a plane engine. She sighed, and Elena cocked her head to look at her with concern. “What’s the matter, Sasha? On a day like this, you look so sad.”

“Just… I don’t want this to end,” Sasha said truthfully. “You’ve all been wonderful. I can’t believe it’s almost over and we leave the day after tomorrow.”

“Why borrow tomorrow’s troubles today? You set that aside.” Elena gave Sasha’s cheek a brisk little pat. “Right now is for happy thoughts, we’re celebrating!”

“You’re right,” Sasha agreed. It would be a long day if she moped about their departure. And anyway, she did love weddings. She shook off her sadness and stood up straight. “Of course you’re right.”

“There we go, that’s my girl.” Stepping back, Elena clapped her hands and sat down to pull her shoes on. “Besides, you might leave in two days, but who knows? Maybe in a year or two you’ll come back and we’ll do all of this again with you and Ruby, hm?”

“Hmm,” Sasha squeaked out, and fled the room.

“By the power vested in me by the Lord God Our Father and the State of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.” Father De Palma was beaming as he watched Danny swoop Angela into his arms and dip her back for a passionate kiss. As they stood back up flushed and delighted, he spread his arms wide. “Mr. and Mrs. Daniel James Fierelli, everybody!”

The string quartet in the back corner of the sanctuary struck up Mendelssohn’s iconic wedding march and everyone stood up to cheer as Daniel and Angela walked and waved their way down the aisle. Ruby followed along behind, grateful for waterproof mascara and the best setting spray she could find at the drugstore. Tears had started running down her cheeks at the I Do’s and she didn’t anticipate them stopping until the Fierellis and Pausinis were partying their asses off at the reception.

As she passed Sasha, she reached out her hand for a quick squeeze. They both laughed helplessly at each other when they realized they were both crying like babies. Shaking her head, Ruby sailed on down the aisle and out the church doors to get to the limo that was taking the wedding party to the Grand Colony Ballroom. She cast a weather eye towards the sky, happy to see it was clear as a bell and blue as a baby’s eyes. Between that and her nearly flat shoes, there would be no repeats of her and Michael’s disastrous senior prom night.

Michael . She’d seen him on the groom’s side with his husband Gray. They’d been holding hands and looking weepy, and at one point Gray laid his head on Michael’s shoulder in a gesture so intimate and sweet that Ruby wanted to bite something to relieve the furious envy that sprang up in her gut. God, she wanted that.

Don’t you know you have it ? Danny’s voice echoed in her head, and she nearly did trip down the steps of St. Clare’s. Dante, behind her, grabbed her upper arms and kept her upright. “Whoa, baby sis. You good?”

“Yep, yep, no problem.” Her heart was racing. “Get me into the limo and a glass of champagne in my hand.”

It had not escaped her notice that for someone who rarely drank, she was really getting through the bubbles this week. Fortunately, her family hadn’t seemed to notice. Dante kept a firm hand on her elbow and escorted her to their limo, where she was duly installed into a seat and presented with a glass of Cristal.

And then another one.

By the time they were all loaded in and had gotten to the Grand Colony, she was three glasses deep on an empty stomach.

Oops.

Sasha had ridden with the parents and partners to the reception hall and was waiting outside when the wedding party limo pulled up. Her face was astonished as Ruby toddled her way out and towards her. “Have you already been drinking?” she whispered with concern, and Ruby giggled even as she melted internally at someone being worried for her.

“Yes, and I need snacks now, please,” she whispered back, tucking her arm through Sasha’s with a little thrill.

“Got it. You don’t have to be in the receiving line, right?”

“No, I am free to sit down and eat crud… croo… croupiers.”

“Crudités,” Sasha replied, and was she stifling laughter? “I think I’ll get you something a little more substantial… and a glass of apple juice.”

Obediently, Ruby allowed herself to be led up the steps of the Grand Colony and deposited into a soft armchair out of the sight of incoming guests. Vaguely, she recognized the room she was in as the one she’d been carried into the night of her broken ankle and chortled to herself.

“What’s so funny?” Sasha appeared with a small plate piled high with snacks and a flute of apple juice.

“Nothing really. Prom memories, you know.” She accepted the offerings with gratitude. “You’re so good to me, Sash.”

She watched with interest as Sasha’s cheeks went rosy. “Well, you know, you’re my friend, I just like to help.”

“Thank you.” The first bite of prosciutto-wrapped melon was heaven. Ruby hoovered her way through the nibbles, sitting back with a sigh of relief when they were all gone. “Better. Much better. Sash, I just love you.”

She’d often told her friends she loved them, Sasha included. But for all that she thought of herself as some Great Observer type, she’d never watched any of them for a reaction before. Even if she had, however, she was pretty sure she would have noticed had any of the others had ever reacted the way Sasha did now.

Which was to flush tomato red, stammer out, “I’m thirsty,” and then flee into the reception hall, ignoring the startled glances she got from the receiving line.

Very interesting indeed.

“Hi again, more apple juice?” the friendly bartender asked, setting down the glass she was polishing.

“No, your best whiskey, and make it a double.” Sasha crossed her arms on the bar and dropped her head down into them with a groan.

Shortly, a glass scraped across the marble bartop by her head. “It’s an open bar, I made it a triple,” came the bartender’s voice. “You look like you needed it. Relationship trouble?”

“In a sense.” She straightened up and gulped down a third of the glass. “Just being in love with my best friend things.”

“Ah.” With a deft hand, the bartender topped up the glass of Lagavulin. “Been there. Drink up, then, I’m happy to keep you lubricated.” With a wink, she moved on to the wedding guests that were beginning to line up for their own beverages. Sasha shoved a ten-dollar bill into the tip jar, took her drink and crept away, needing a moment to herself.

Sash, I just love you. Her heart skipped two beats remembering Ruby’s sweet, slightly champagne-blurred voice. All of the Lounge family told each other they loved one another all the time, of course. But after this week, when it was just the two of them, when Sasha’s emotions were bubbling just beneath her skin—no, it felt different, or she was taking it differently. Either way, it was too much for right now. She downed another third of the smooth whiskey, barely noticing that it was really nice.

Ruby looked so beautiful today. And the wedding had been lovely, a fairytale that brought everyone to tears. Daniel and Angela loved each other so damn much… Sasha shot back the last third of her whiskey, uncaring that it really should be sipped. It burned down her throat and into her stomach.

She wanted so much what they had. And damn it, maybe Ruby hadn’t meant that I love you in a romantic way, she knew better than to even think that for a second, but they had such a connection already, if she just got off her ass and said something , could that connection be more? What might happen if she could just be brave for once?

Maybe she’d find out tonight.

After a few more shots of liquid courage. Sasha headed back out for the bar. If she put a twenty in the tip jar, maybe she could get a couple of shots of top shelf vodka.