Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

JANIE

I took advantage of Owen being out to look around a little. I was a little tender, but I wasn’t hurting. Kayla was still sleeping, I guess she got a full belly earlier. I was sure she would be waking up soon needing a change and to eat again. I fixed myself a glass of water. Owen always kept a pitcher in the fridge. I had not been here in months, and I could see some of the things he had improved on since I left. The cabin was charming. Rustic design, you could see the logs and the hardwood floor with exception of a throw rug in front of the couch. I had imagined living here many times. My parents were sure we would marry so they never minded me spending time here with him. Owen had always been respectful to them. I’m betting they know I’m here. He would have been sure to let them know I was safe. I don’t know if he told them about our daughter or not. I drank the water and then fixed another glass to bring over to the table by the medical cot set up for me. It wasn’t the most comfortable, but I couldn’t expect him to invite me to sleep in his bed after leaving him like I did. I got back into bed and pulled the covers over me. If I could do it all over, I would have stayed. I missed Owen, my parents and this sleepy village in the mountains more than I ever thought possible.

I needed to figure out how to make it up to him. I also prayed he wasn’t seeing someone else because that would break my heart. I heard the lock turn and looked up to see him walk in with a backpack on and a large basket in his arms. He placed them on the couch. I watched him remove his jacket and boots by the door.

“How are you feeling?” he asked as he grabbed the backpack first and brought it to the bed. “If you want to sit up, we can start by going through this first to see what she sent. He unzipped the backpack and there were cloth diapers, a baggie of big safety pins, some diaper crème and baby powder. A couple of pacifiers, bottles, a hand pump for breast milk. There was a couple of receiving blankets inside as well. We opened the basket next and found a bunch of baby clothes. I started bawling my eyes out. This was so generous and helpful. I pulled out one of the diapers and other things as well as a warm onsie to put her in. She was wrapped in a fluffy towel at the moment because it was all we had on hand when I delivered her.

“I’m sorry Owen. I’m so damned sorry that I was stupid and ran away from us. I was so scared of getting stuck in this little village and then all I have done since I left is think of how much I missed everything and everyone.” I was rubbing my fingers on the sleeper when Owen came over and sat by me. He looked in the bassinet at our daughter as he spoke.

“You hurt me. I would have understood that you wanted to go to school. I’d never try to hold you back. Did I hope you would want to be here with me, yes. I never thought you would leave me without a word of goodbye. I have loved you for years and waited for you to grow up. I still love you, but you broke something between us and I’m not sure how we get it back or if you even want to.” He got up and walked outside. I was going to follow him, but the baby chose that moment to wake up whimpering. I picked her up and changed her then put her to my breast to eat again. I figured I’d wait until she finished eating to put on her outfit in case she had an accident. No sense making more laundry. When she finished, I held her to my shoulder and burped her. Once she seemed settled, I put on her little footie pajamas and held her in my arms. I still couldn’t believe we made this beautiful little creature. As my arms grew tired, I placed her in the bassinet and got up to stretch. I looked around for a book or something to occupy myself with. I wasn’t sleepy and I was bored out of my mind. I went to the kitchen and looked in the pantry for something to make for dinner. There were all kinds of canned goods in there. I found some tomato soup and the stuff to make grilled cheese sandwiches. There was milk to thicken the soup. I looked at the clock to see it was almost five. I reached for a pot under the counter when the door opened, and I heard Owen yell “Stop!”

Turning around I found him right there in my space taking the pot from my hands before I could try to pick it up. He placed it on the stove and shooed me back to the living area.

“I appreciate you trying to fix dinner but not until you have had time to heal. You need to rest when she does.” Owen said as he started warming up dinner. I sighed and sat on the couch.

“You don’t have any Christmas decorations.” It was a statement more than a question. Owen always loved Christmas the same as me. I couldn’t believe there was no sign of the holiday in his home.

“I actually do but I didn’t have anything to celebrate. You weren’t here to help me decorate so I just didn’t bother.” He glanced over at me and then turned to slice some fresh bread to make sandwiches. He had a gas stove so even if the power did go out, he could still cook. The fireplace was beautiful, and I couldn’t help but think about what it would look like with three stockings hanging and a tree beside it.

“Did you call my folks?” I asked him as I folded the baby clothes and piled them on the edge of the coffee table.

“Yes, they will be over when they can get here. I didn’t tell them about the baby. They didn’t ask so I didn’t think you had told them yet.” He didn’t look at me as he said this. I hated how all of this played out. I should have come home as soon as I found out about the baby, but no I had to be stubborn. Turns out I can’t do it alone and I really did miss him. I cried myself to sleep many nights after I moved.

Owen set the table, and I came over to join him. He poured me some milk to go with my dinner for the calcium.

“So, when do you go back to school.” I looked up at him and he was staring at our daughter. I knew he wondered if I planned to take her away from him.

“I’m not.” He jerked his head in my direction and looked confused. “I hated it. I hated being away from you, away from my family. This is home. It just didn’t feel right. If I want to do any more school, it will be online.”

“You always talked about doing something with your life and getting a degree. I had hoped that you would come work with us or do something remote.” He said as he finished his soup and got up. “What are you going to do now?”

“I guess I need to find a job and work out daycare. I’m sure my mother would be glad to take us in and help watch her. I don’t want to impose on you or your social life.” I frowned and looked down. I wasn’t hungry anymore. The thought of him touching another woman made me physically ill. I got up and started to walk away from the table when I felt his arms circling my waist. He turned me around and pressed me into the wall. I looked up and he took my mouth in a searing kiss. It was more aggressive than any he had given me before. My arms snaked around his neck, and I kissed him back. I had missed being able to touch him and feel his arms around me. When the baby whimpered, we broke apart and he stared at me a minute.

“Are you staying this time Mary Jane?” he asked me with hope in his eyes. I nodded my assent. “Then you and our daughter will stay here. We will fix up the bedroom next to the master for her nursery and move you in the master where you fucking belong.”

“Okay.” I whispered as I went to feed and change our girl. My heart was pounding at the thought of being in his bed. I knew we couldn’t do anything yet; I was still turned on. I knew my cheeks were flushed, I only hoped he would think it was the heat in the room from the fireplace.