Mac

MAC

“SIX WEEKS!! Dr. Mac, I will just die if I can’t go sledding.”

I fight back a smile. “Tommie, you can’t get your cast wet. We need it to be solid to hold your bones in the right place to heal.”

“But old man Mr. Ludwig is allowing us to sled down his hill. He never lets anyone go down his primo hill, ever. I’ll be careful not to get it wet. I promise.”

“Sorry, buddy.”

Tommie grumbles under his breath. I only catch a few words. No doubt, he’ll return soon for another cast.

“Mrs. Moore, I want to see him back in two weeks to ensure the bones heal properly. See Connie up front to set up a date and time.”

“Thank you, Dr. Carter,” she says, taking Tommie’s hand. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.”

I follow them out of the exam room and walk to my office. What a long day it had been. One case after another, leaving me little time to sit down or even get a proper lunch. The energy bar and two cups of coffee were long gone. Even so, this is what I have loved and dreamed of being since middle school. The pleasure of giving good news to worried parents that their child would be okay.

However, marriage, children, and a loving home weren’t in the cards for me. I’m a shell of a man and have been since the night of my high school graduation. Before that frightful night, a different future was planned. Then, in a blink of an eye, it changed. When I left Spruce Pine for college in New York, I never thought I would return. I would miss my family and the serenity of my hometown. The place where I was born. The place where I played in the forest and creeks around my home. Where I went skinny dipping in the North Toe River, but most of all, it was where I met the only woman I would ever love.

We had been sweethearts since first grade. There wasn’t one memory from school that didn’t have her part of it. We shared all the firsts. She was my first and only girlfriend. We shared our first kiss, and finally, we lost our virginity to each other in a tent overlooking Grassy Creek Falls on a sunny spring day. Before we left the falls, I presented her with a promise ring, symbolizing my promise that I would one day ask her to marry me.

Little did I know two days later, my heart would be ripped out of my chest and shattered into a million pieces. I felt broken, used, and ignorant because I had not seen that she was seeing someone else as well.

The memory of the night was still fresh in my mind, even after ten years. My parents threw a graduation party, and most students were in attendance. The house was bursting at the seams with my classmates. I didn’t care about any of them. I was looking for her. When I entered the den, I ran into Harper. She has had a thing for me for as long as I can remember, even though I never looked her way.

“Mac, I can’t believe we are through with school.”

“Yeah. Where are you going to college?”

“Boston, and I hear you are going to NYU.”

“Yeah. We both got in and we can’t wait to go.”

We were both so excited that we would not be split up for college. Our dreams were for her to become an obstetrician and for me to become a pediatrician. We would return to Spruce Pine and open up a joint practice. She would help bring the newest residents into the world, and I would ensure that they grow up healthy.

“Oh yeah, I think I might have heard that,” Harper said, then looked down at her wrist. “Oh shit, I have lost my bracelet. Can you help me find it? Please? It was a gift from my grandmother.”

I didn’t want to, but I felt it was my responsibility to do so. After looking around the room, Harper stated she had gone outside and down to the boathouse. As we rounded the corner of the boathouse, my world fell apart. There she was in Patrick’s arms. Her body was against the wall as they were in a passionate kiss. The sight caused me to gasp a soul-retching groan. Patrick glanced at me with a sly smirk while she looked shocked.

“Mac, please, it is not as it looked. Patrick, tell him,” she says. “He…”

My vision became hazy, the edges of my world blurring and merging. The last thing I remember is stumbling back to the house, grabbing a bottle of whiskey, and downing its contents. The next thing I remember is waking up in my bed with Harper lying next to me. We were both completely naked. Confusion and panic set in as I tried to piece together the events of the night before. My head was throbbing, but I forced myself to remember what had happened. It was like a nightmare unfolding in my mind as tears streamed down my face. I grabbed my phone and checked for any missed calls or messages from her, but there were none. At that moment, I realized that our relationship was over.

I tried not to think of her for the next few weeks, but that was impossible. Everywhere I went, a memory of us together flooded back. I was relieved my parents didn’t ask many questions after I told them we were no longer together. They must have seen how badly I was suffering, so they took pity on me and sent me to New York early. I spent July and August exploring New York and trying to forget her. But even though I was almost five hundred miles away, I thought I saw her everywhere.

My stomach was tied in knots as I walked into class on the first day of school. We had all our classes together since we were both premed. However, she wasn’t there or any other classes. Had she just changed classes, or had she changed schools altogether? It took me weeks to muster the nerve to find it out. She wasn’t a student at NYU. The admissions office was shocked that she didn’t even call or inform them she wasn’t attending. I wondered if she had gone to school wherever Patrick was going.

Before starting at NYU, all the college credits I had taken during high school transferred to the university. I might have been a freshman, but in the eyes of the university, I had enough credits to be a junior. After completing my undergraduate degree in two years and excelling throughout medical school and residences, I was prepared to make a difference in children’s lives. Recommendation letters from professors and doctors would secure my employment at any hospital.

I sent my resume to hospitals nationwide and was offered several positions at some of the top-rated institutions. Before I accepted any of them, my father called and informed me that my mother had been diagnosed with cancer. With this news, I knew I had to return to Spruce Pine, no matter how much it would hurt. I applied for a position at Blue Ridge Regional Hospital as a staff pediatrician. After several online interviews, I was offered the position.

While I packed up my tiny apartment in New York, I wondered if she was still in Spruce Pine or if she and Peter moved away. I refused to ask my parents or look her up online. Even after all these years, the pain was still fresh.

When I arrived back, I received the best news. My mother’s cancer had been localized. The doctor felt she would make a full recovery after several rounds of targeted radiation and chemo.

So here I am, ten years later, back in the town that held so many memories of my past. I put on my heavy coat and walk out of my office to head home. The snow was still coming down, and the weathercasters said it would continue until Christmas Day. For the first time in years, Spruce Pine would have a white Christmas. I walk around the corner and see the massive tree standing in the middle of the foyer. It is decorated with hundreds of sparking lights and brightly colored ornaments. I haven’t celebrated Christmas in years. It brings back too many memories of her since it was her favorite holiday. As I stare at its beauty, I approach the tree. Amongst the glitter ornaments were tags with numbers written on them.

“Dr. Carter, can I help you?”

I look over and see Mrs. Nelson sitting at the welcome desk. “What is this?”

“It is The Giving Tree. We have a great need in the town, and this is how we ensure these families on this tree have a special Christmas.”

“Oh.” I take off one of the tags. On the front was a number twelve in glitter, and on there was a female, age nine, and the size of her clothes. “This is a child.”

“Yes. Dr. Carter.”

“You mean she needs clothes and shoes? What about her parents?”

“Allow me to look up this number, and then I will share some information about the parents with you.” She takes out a book and looks up the number. “She is the daughter of a single parent. Her mother works two jobs, one as a waitress and the other as an online customer service representative. There is no listing of the father. It says they have lived in Spruce Pine all their lives. The mother’s parents are dead, and she has no living relatives.”

I look down at the tag, and something stirs in my heart. This child deserves to have a Christmas she will remember. “What do I do?”

“You can buy as much as you like on the list and return it to me. I will ensure she gets it, but you only have two days since we delivered the gifts on Christmas Eve.”

“You mean I can’t deliver the gifts myself?”

“It is something that is not done.”

“Please.”

She stares at me. I don’t know what she sees, but she writes the information and hands it to me.

The note has the little girl’s first name and address. When I see the name, I gasp. Faith. The name takes me back to the summer before our senior year in high school.

We were together under the big oak tree in her backyard, discussing our future. At the time, there was no doubt we would be together for the rest of their lives. As we talked about what the future would hold, the conversation turned to children.

“I have dreamed about our little girl. She will have long brown hair, your sparkling green eyes, and a cute little nose,” she said.

“Oh? And what is this little girl’s name?”

“Faith.”

“Faith? Why Faith?”

“Because I have faith that our relationship will last until our last breath.”

How wrong she had been. I look at the address. It is a low-income apartment complex. Even in the small towns have a dark side. I put the note and the tag from the tree into my jacket pocket. I look up at Mrs. Nelson.

“Thank you for doing this. I promise this will be a Christmas that she won’t forget, and hopefully, I can bring some joy that will last for a long time.”

Mrs. Nelson gives me a bright smile. “Thank you very much, Dr. Carter. I am sure that this would mean the world to this family. If you need any help, please contact me.”

I walk out of the hospital into the cold, snowy evening with a heart filled with purpose for the first time in a long time.

As I drive slowly through downtown, I notice the shops that lined it. Much of Spruce Pine was the same as ten years ago, but many new shops also exist. I glance over and notice a shop with dolls displayed in the window. A doll wasn’t on Faith’s list, but every little girl deserves a pretty doll. By some miracle, there is a parking space just outside the door. I get out of my car and walk up to the storefront window. I wonder if Faith even liked dolls. It is then I see the doll. It looks just like the description of Faith that she had told me all those years ago. I walk into the shop and am met by a short, dark-haired woman.

“Good evening. Welcome to Alice’s Wonderland. I am Alice. How can I help you?”

“Good evening. I would like to see one of the dolls you have on display in the window.”

“Certainly, sir. Which one?”

“The brunette one on the right-hand side, with the yellow dress on.”

“Oh, what a wonderful choice.” She walks to the window and collects the doll. She returns, fluffing the skirt and smoothing the doll’s hair. “This is Faith. She is from the Promise line of dolls.”

I gasp at the name. What are the odds of me picking a doll with the same name as the child for whom I was buying gifts? Alice hands me the doll. I look at it closely. It was so lifelike and much like our future child she had described, even down to the color of the eyes and the little button nose. “She is lovely.”

“That is she. I must say, she is my favorite,” Alice says.

“Do you think a nine-year-old would like a doll?”

“Definitely, yes.”

“Then I will take her.” I knew I had to give Faith this doll. I return the doll to Alice, who takes it to the counter.

“Would you like me to gift wrap it for you?”

I was about to say yes, but I wanted to look at the doll for a bit longer. “No. But do you have a box that I can put her in?”

“She has a special box that she comes in, along with a book.”

“That sounds great.”

Alice gets the box, carefully places the doll in it, and rings up the bill. I hand her my credit card.

“Thank you, and I hope your little girl will love her,” Alice says.

“Oh, I don’t have a little girl. This is for…a friend’s little girl.”

“How nice of you to do this. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.”

I carefully place the doll in the backseat. Driving down the street, I can’t stop thinking about the child and the doll. Even though a doll wasn’t on the list, somehow, I knew she would love it.

My phone rings, and glancing at the screen, I smile at the person calling me. Pushing the hand-free device button, “Hello, this is Dr. Carter.”

“I don’t think I will ever get used to hearing that. Hello dear,” Mom says with a giggle.

“Hi, Mom. Are you okay?” Even though she was improving, I was still worried about her.

“Yes, dear. I am doing great. Are you off work?”

“Yes. I’m just driving home. Is there something you need?”

“Yes. I would love to have you over for dinner. I worry you are not eating enough.”

No matter how tired I was, I couldn’t deny my mother anything she requested. “I will be over in about thirty minutes, and you can try to fatten me up.”

“My, someone is in a good mood. We will see you in a little while, then.”

It was great to hear my mother in a good mood. The treatments had taken a toll on her, but she never once complained or let on that they were painful. She is the strongest person I know, and I am proud to be Esther Carter’s son.

Thirty minutes later, I arrive at my parents’ home. I smile as I walk up the walkway amidst the twinkling lights. It would take more than cancer to prevent Esther Carter from decorating for Christmas. Every inch of the exterior and interior was decorated for the season, and each room had its own unique tree. I wonder how long my dad had spent stringing and putting up lights with Mom, directing his every move.

I open the door and call out. “Mom, Dad, I am here.”

Mom walks around the corner, wearing an apron and wiping her hands. “Mac.”

I engulf her in a mighty hug. Once I pull away, I take a good look at her. The color was returning to her cheeks. She also seemed to have put on some weight, but the significant change was the brightness in her green eyes had returned.

“You are looking great, Mom.”

“I am feeling great. Come, take off your coat, and come into the den. Your dad is yelling at the TV again.”

I take off my coat, but I remember my phone was in my pocket. As I pull it out, the tag from the Giving Tree falls onto the floor. Mom bends over and picks it up.

“What is this?” she asks as she turns the tag over and sees the information on the back.

“It is information about someone I am getting some Christmas presents for.”

“Mac, this is a nine-year-old girl. What are you going to get her?”

“Not sure yet, but I am sure I will find something.”

Mom places the tag in my hand. “If you need help, I am here. I know a few things about being a girl.”

Leaning down, and kiss her on the cheek. “Thanks.”

“WHAT A HORRIBLE PLAY!!! GET HIM OFF THE FIELD!!!”

“See what I mean,” Mom says, shaking her head.

I walk to the den and see my father sitting in his recliner, watching his prized Chiefs playing the Jets. “Hey, Dad.”

“Mac. Come in and watch this shit. I can’t believe the coach this year.”

I sit down and begin watching the game. My thoughts keep returning to Faith and what she will look like when she opens her gifts. Yet, I can’t help but wonder about her living arrangements. I know her mother is working two jobs, neither paying very well. She probably could only keep a roof over their head and food on the table. Here I was, buying a doll when she had more significant needs than that. I felt a hand on my shoulder.

“Mac, are you okay? I have been calling your name for the last five minutes,” Mom asks.

“Yeah, just thinking about what you said. Do you think you will have time to go shopping with me tomorrow? Unless there is an emergency, I am off work until after Christmas, and I really want to get something she might like and need.”

“She? Mac, do you have a young woman you haven’t told us about?” Dad asks.

“Dad, she is a child from the Giving Tree at work. I selected a tag and feel compelled to give her a Christmas she will remember.”

“That is great, Mac. Do you know anything about her?”

“Yes. Mrs Nelson gave me her information so I could deliver the gifts myself. Her name is Faith, and she is nine. Her mother works two low-paying jobs and lives on the city’s east side.”

“Mac, are you sure you want to deliver the gifts yourself? Wouldn’t it be better if Mrs. Nelson’s organization did that?” Mom asks.

“No, Mom, I want to do it.”

“The east side of town is terrible. Did you find out what types of jobs her mom works at?” Dad asks.

“Yeah. She is an online customer service representative and the other as a waitress.”

“Boy, you were right about low paying. OH MY!!” Dad says. “You will never guess who I saw the other day at the diner downtown.”

“Who?” Mom asks.

“Amelia.”

I whip around and look at my dad. I had not heard her name for ten years. But then I thought about what my dad had said. What was she doing working at a diner? Didn’t she go to med school? “Did you talk to her?”

“No, I was downtown meeting a friend for lunch and walked by the diner. When I glanced in, I saw her. She hasn’t changed, well maybe a little skinnier, and she looked tired.”

“Oh.” It was all I could say. Just the thought of her made my heart hurt. “Mom, is dinner ready?”

“Yes.”

During dinner, we talked about Faith and what to get her. When I left, my mind was full of gift ideas.

I make it home and take the doll inside. After dropping my keys in the dish, I head to my bedroom and place her on my dresser. She is the most beautiful doll I have ever seen. I remove my suit and put it in the dry cleaning basket, which is full. Oh well, I will just drop them off tomorrow at the dry cleaners. After a long, hot shower, I am ready for bed.

Today, I had worn myself out, not just from the long day at the hospital but also from hearing her name again. No matter how hard I try, I can’t stop thinking about her working in a diner instead of as a doctor. Has Peter caused this?

I take out my iPad and check my email. Other than some junk mail, there wasn’t much in it. Oh, that is right, I don’t have a personal life outside of work. As I stare at the screen, I so much want to type her name in a Google search and see what comes up. However, I don’t think I could take it if it were a wedding announcement. With my fingers still on the keyboard, I enter a search. After swiftly typing the name in, I close my eyes and hit enter.

Peter Hamilton of Spruce Pine, NC. Age 28.

Peter Hamilton, Spruce Pine, NC, arrested and convicted of drug distribution, was sentenced to 15 years today in the state penitentiary. Judge Walker based the sentence on Mr. Hamilton’s past drug arrests and spousal abuse convictions.

Holy hell, Peter is in prison. Is this the reason she is working at a diner? Once more, I reread the search results. Spousal Abuse. Did this mean that Peter hit her? I toss the iPad on the bed. I get out of bed and pace the floor. That son of a bitch had hit her. How could he treat her like that? She deserves to be treated like the goddess she is. I love her with all my heart. She is the most precious thing in the world to me and no one else can fill my heart with love like she does. The dull pain I always carry intensifies with the new information.

With the next few days off, I pour myself a drink, seeking to calm my temper and pain. After that awful night, when I had drunk all that whiskey and passed out, I hardly drank. However, after one glass I feel more relaxed and ready to sleep. Tomorrow will be a busy day of shopping and I can’t wait to see what I can find for Faith. Hopefully, focusing on Faith will take my mind off of her.

Clouded light filters through my windows as the new day begins. I had dreamed all night of Amelia and myself together. Each time, Peter would come in and take her away. At one point in the night, I considered not even trying to go back to sleep. Then I thought about the next day and knew I had to try. After a shower, I feel somewhat better and dress for a day of shopping. My father brings my mother to my house. She is still not back to 100%, and Dad didn’t feel comfortable with her driving, especially in the snow.

“Are you ready for today?” Mom asks.

“Yes. I need to run a few errands as well. Is that okay?”

“Of course, I am so excited for today.”

I smile. It is so nice to see my mother back as she was before. “I thought we would take the SUV because it has more room.”

“Wonderful idea because I feel we are going to need it,” Mom says with a smirk.

Mom directs me to their first stop, a clothing boutique downtown.

“Rose Blossom is well known in Spruce Pine and surrounding towns. Rose, the owner and designer. She sells many of her designs in the shop. She even has an extensive selection of young girls’ sizes. I want to buy Faith a few specialty pieces before going to a shop for more practical clothing,” Mom says.

I find a parking space and come around to help Mom out of the vehicle. We walked arm in arm into the shop, where a tall, gorgeous blonde met us. “Welcome. I am Rose. Is there anything I can help you with today?”

“Hello, I am Esther, and this is my son, Mac. We are here to buy something special for a nine-year-old lady.”

“Wonderful. Come this way,” Rose says, directing us to the young girl’s clothes section. “What does the young lady like?”

I suddenly felt uncomfortable racking my hand through my hair. “Well, we don’t know. We are purchasing gifts for a child who needs a wonderful Christmas.”

“Oh, my. Come, let’s find something worthy of this little girl. I just finished my new collection for young girls, which I call the Faith, Love, and Promise collection.”

“Mac, did you hear the name of the collection? It is meant to be,” Mom says.

I agree, but it was too strange not to be true. Rose shows us many dresses, tops, pants, and sweaters. I am so glad Mom had come with me because I wouldn’t have been able to choose. Mom selects several pieces, and Rose rings us up. I hand her my credit card and sign the receipt.

Rose hands me one of her business cards. “Please email after Christmas and tell me what she thought. Tell her parents that they can exchange anything she doesn’t like. I promise you I will keep what you spent secret.”

“Thank you.”

I grab the bags and put them in the SUV. Mom is off to buy personal items for Faith. While she was doing so, I dropped off my dry cleaning and visited the bank. Even though it wasn’t on the tag, I wanted to give some cash to Faith’s mother. I feel sure she could use it.

I walk out into the crowd of people bustling around doing their last-minute Christmas buying. Suddenly, I am in front of the Country Diner. I look inside. I see her. She is leaning over a table, cleaning it off. She appears ageless, as if time has stood still for her. My father was right. She is thinner. She straightens up and looks toward the person to the right of her. She nods and smiles at them. However, it is not her genuine smile. This is the smile she uses when forced to be nice. She returns to her defeated look as soon as the person walks away. Abruptly, she glances my way. I can’t look at her eyes. I spin and walk away. Damn it. I pick up my pace to put as much distance between us as possible.

“Mac Carter!!”

I stop and look at the voice. “Josh?”

“Hey, man,” Josh says, slapping me on the shoulder. “Are you home for the holiday?”

“I moved back about six months ago. I am working over at the hospital.”

“Cool. You doing okay?”

“Yeah, and you?”

“Great. I’m married to an incredible woman who doesn’t tolerate nonsense from me. She is a designer and owns a shop up the street.”

“Rose?”

“Yeah, how did you know?”

“Esther just bought some Christmas gifts a little bit ago.”

“Damn, Mac Carter. Hell, we missed you at the five-year reunion. There were only two that didn’t show up.”

“I was in the middle of medical school and couldn’t get off, sorry. Who was the other?”

“Amelia.”

“Oh. But didn’t she come with Peter?”

“Peter? Peter Hamilton? Fuck, he isn’t allowed within five hundred feet of her,” Josh answers.

“What?” I ask, confused by the statement.

“Well, I think it was sometime after graduation that he attacked her. Thankfully, Charlie taught her some self-defense moves to allow her to get away from the creep.”

“Oh. I just thought they were together.”

“Hell no. Hey, call me sometime, and we will hang out.”

“Alright. Merry Christmas,” I say.

After Josh walks away, I consider the conversation, and all the pieces don’t seem to line up. What is the missing piece?