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His hands tighten around my throat, and I cannot breathe. Why won’t he let me breathe? Rage burns in his eyes as the dreaded whiskey monster takes over once again. We have been here before, but this time is different. This will be the last time.

I gasp and grab my neck, trying to catch my breath. Trying to get his hands off my throat. It takes me a moment to realize that I am safe. Well, as safe as I can be while living out of my car. Sweat coats my skin like a wet blanket settling over top of me.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I had big dreams, but they were all destroyed by that fucking whiskey monster. Chris was a good man, or so I thought. He lost his mind when the whiskey took over. It consumed every bit of him and most of my sanity. I tried to crawl my way back to the light several times, but the demon that invaded his mind kept a tight hold on mine. I was convinced that I could fix him, and it wasn’t as bad as it seemed. It was easy to make excuses and blame the bruises on clumsiness, but I knew the truth. I always knew the truth, even when I vehemently denied the severity of the situation.

The truth was simple. Chris was a raging alcoholic with a violent temper. He was a narcissist who played on my kind nature and lured me in. He used and abused me for his own sick and twisted fantasies. He was broken from the beginning; I was just colorblind to the red flags. I was so dead set on finding love beyond my roots that I did everything wrong. I let my walls come down for someone who didn’t earn it. I know that the terrible things I endured were not my fault, but my decisions led me to this place in my life.

I spent weeks hiding out in a domestic violence shelter going through criminal charges and court proceedings until I finally caught a break. Chris had a long history of assault in general, so when I filed charges for aggravated domestic battery, they threw the entire book at him. He was sentenced to ten years, and I obtained a lifetime order of protection. He nearly killed me, but I found my way back to the light. I survived him, so I know I can survive this.

One would think that going home would feel incredible, but I feel like a complete and total failure. Don’t get me wrong, I am in love with the Appalachian Mountains and this tiny town has always been my source of happiness, but this isn’t how it was supposed to be. I promised myself that when I returned, I would be someone that others could be proud of. Now, I am returning to my roots with a mind full of anxiety and a body covered in scars.

I was born and raised in Western North Carolina. Specifically, Bryson City, North Carolina. The population is just over six hundred and it is a place where everyone knows everyone. Everyone visits the same stores run by the same people. No matter your routine, you will be recognized. When I was a teenager I fucking hated that because anything I did always got back to my parents. Looking back, I realize how incredibly lucky I was to have an entire village of people looking after me. If only they were there when the darkness started to settle in. What are they going to think when I come home without a college degree, with my dreams in shambles, and more broken than when I left? I missed so much while I was gone. I missed the last days with my parents before the car accident. I was supposed to be with them, but Chris had other plans. Plans that didn’t involve me being with anyone I cared about. I will regret abandoning them for the rest of my life. I do not deserve forgiveness, or at least that’s what I always tell myself.

I could have gotten into town late last night, but I wasn’t ready yet. I am a few miles down the road on the side of Highway 75. My car is struggling, so I need to take it to the shop as soon as I get in. I am praying that it changed ownership, but I don’t have a choice. Poor Betsy is going through a quart of oil quicker than she’s going through gas. Driving across the country in a piece-of-shit car was not my brightest idea, but it got me back home.

I sit my seat up and run my hands down my face. You can do this, Magnolia. Everyone loves you and will understand. No one will judge you. You will rebuild. How many times am I going to tell myself this before I finally believe it? I have no reason to think that they would do anything other than welcome me home with open arms. But it’s the fact that I’m coming back with nothing. I have less than a hundred dollars to my name, and I only have that from selling everything I own. How am I supposed to survive on sixty-four dollars? First things first, I need to find somewhere to stay that is not this car.

There is a crappy little camper park where most everyone is definitely smoking meth. They are not dangerous, and they usually keep to themselves, so I know I’m safe. I might have roaches as roommates, though. I’ll have to find a job as soon as possible so I can stay afloat somewhat as well.

I feel a wave of emotions hit me when I pull up to the shop and see that it’s still owned by the Richards family. By family, I mean Beau. His dad died of a heart attack when we were seventeen. A family friend ran it until he was out of high school, and he has been the owner ever since.

Beau Richards was my best friend and the absolute love of my life. We finally confessed our love for each other shortly after high school, but I promptly left. I ran away because I was afraid of being stuck in this town. I didn’t appreciate what I had until Chris took me away from it. I don’t know whether I should jump out and run to him or break down crying because I know I hurt him. That was a shitty thing to do and a completely unredeemable fuck-up on my part. I wouldn’t blame him one bit if he cut my brake lines.

The door to the office opens and I panic. I immediately put the car into reverse, but when I hit the accelerator, there’s a loud pop, followed by smoke billowing out from underneath the hood. “Fuck,” I sigh.

He’s already seen me, so I put the car into park and lie my head back. My eyes are closed when he opens my driver’s side door. “Well, I’ll be,” Beau hums. “Miss Magnolia has returned to little ol’ Bryson City.”

“Hey, Beau,” I say quietly.

“Don’t be shy. Get out and give me a hug,” he laughs. Beau is an upfront and blunt man. He is also fucking gorgeous. He stands at six feet two inches tall. He has always been bulky, but years of manual labor in the shop have accentuated his muscles even more. He has a rugged look about him that is undeniably sexy.

I get out and he wraps me in a tight hug. His body nearly swallows mine, as I am just over five feet tall. I used to be on the heavier side, but years of being so stressed that I couldn’t eat led me to looking sickly. At least I think I do. Chris loved to point out my flaws, so it distorted the reflection I saw in the mirror. It entirely depends on the day, but some days I feel like a whale while other days I can see that my eyes are sunken in, and I look malnourished.

“What brings you to town, Maggie?” Beau asks as he pulls back to look at me.

“I uh… I’m moving back. I just got in,” I say. “My poor car is on its last leg, I think.”

“I think its last leg was just cut off,” he chuckles. “How’s that boyfriend of yours? Chris, right?”

“In prison,” I deadpan.

“What? Why?” he asks.

“Look. Can you see if you can maybe give me an idea of what’s wrong with the car?” I ask. “It goes through a quart of oil faster than a tank of gas.”

“Pop the hood,” he says with a smirk. Why does he have to be so damn calm? He should tell me to go fuck myself after what I did. He told me he was in love with me, and I ran away. Why is he being nice? Why am I even here if I know that I deserve the worst he has to offer?

I try to ignore the negativity swimming in my head and pop the hood. “Well,” Beau chuckles. “I found the source of that noise.”

“Oh God,” I sigh.

“You, my dear, have a nice little window in the block. Who knew you were into redecorating?” Beau explains humorously.

“Do you still take scrap cars?” I ask.

“I do. I also have an engine I can throw in it. It would just be the cost of parts to put it together,” he says.

“Beau, I just want to scrap it,” I say firmly.

“Come in and I’ll get you a number,” he says with a shrug. The fact that he is being nice to me starts to piss me off. I’m anticipating something. Anything, really. Screaming, yelling, throwing things. Anything. I know that it is the trauma speaking because that is not who Beau is. He has never been violent, and I don’t think he’s capable of being violent, especially not toward me.

I walk inside and he goes behind the counter to the computer. I watch as he types and I’m hoping for at least a few hundred dollars. That will get me into a camper up the hill and a little bit of food to get me through until I can at least get a waitressing job at the diner.

“Looks like it will be a bit over three hundred,” he says. “The amount per pound is pretty low right now.”

“That’s fine,” I say. “I’ll do that.”

“You’d get more selling it for parts,” he says. “That’s as simple as…”

“I don’t have time for that,” I say with an attitude. “I just want to scrap it and I’ll be on my way.”

Beau stands when I’m not expecting it, and it makes me jump. He narrows his eyes at me before looking me up and down. “What’s going on with you, Magnolia?”

“What?” I ask. “Can I just scrap the fucking car, please?”

I’m losing my patience, but I need to chill out because I don’t have the money to move it. I just want to scrap it so I can get away from him before I end up word-vomiting my trauma. I don’t deserve sympathy, and there is no excuse for what I did. Maybe Chris was my punishment for what I did to Beau.

“Mmm. No. I think I would rather have an answer,” he says as he walks around the counter to stand in front of me. “You come in here after seven years acting sketchy as fuck and expect no one to ask any questions? What happened to you?”

“Nothing. Just forget it. Tow the car for all I care,” I say.

“No,” Beau snaps. “Are you on drugs or something? No one has heard a word from you since you left. You missed every holiday, every birthday, your parents’ funeral… That piece of shit you were dating is now in prison. Is it drug charges? Did he get you into it or something?”

“I’m not on drugs, Beau,” I sigh. I wish it was that simple, honestly.

“What is it? Heroin?” he asks sincerely. “If you need help getting clean, Maggie, I can?—”

“Goddamn it, Beau. I’m not on drugs, okay?” I yell at him.

“You show up in the middle of summer wearing a long sleeve shirt while looking like you haven’t slept in five days, and you expect me not to question it?” he asks with a dry laugh. “Is it track marks or something? You know I would never judge you, Maggie, but you are full of shit if you say that something is not going on with you.”

“I’m gonna go,” I say tearfully. “I shouldn’t have come here.”

“Fuck. Stop,” he sighs and gently grabs my wrist. “I’m sorry. Please don’t run away again.”

“I hurt you and I shouldn’t be back. I should’ve known that you would be here,” I say, trying to fight off the demons in my mind.

“I care too much about you to let you walk out of here while I think you are strung out on drugs,” he says.

“I’m not on drugs, despite the fact that I look like shit,” I say.

“I didn’t say you look like shit. You are just as beautiful as you have always been, but you look tired. You look like you have been through a lot, and it’s hard to see anything else without knowing what’s going on,” he says.

“I am tired,” I mention. “I just drove across the country.”

“If you aren’t on drugs, let me see your arms,” he says.

“No,” I say quickly.

“Mag… You of all people know that I have no issue being an asshole when I need to be. When your safety is concerned, I will happily be an asshole,” he says. “Show me.”

“Beau,” I say tearfully.

When he pulls me closer and gently pulls my sleeve up, his entire demeanor goes from concern to anger. This is why I wear long-sleeved shirts. People always have questions about the scars. If they don’t directly ask, they look at me with pity.

“Who did this to you?” he growls. “Did Chris do this shit?”

“Yeah,” I whimper.

“These are burns, Magnolia,” he says, looking up at me. He softens immediately when he sees tears rolling down my face. He squeezes my hands before going to the door and flipping off the sign. “Come on.”

“Where?” I ask, wiping my face.

“To my place,” he says. “Get what you need out of your car.”

“Beau, I…”

“Please don’t argue with me. Please don’t make me have to be the bad guy,” he says gently. “Just let me take care of you. Okay?”

“Why?” I ask. “I abandoned you, Beau. You told me that you loved me, and I fucking ran away. I don’t deserve your kindness. I just want to scrap the fucking car so I can disappear.”

“You’ve lost your damn mind if you think that I’m letting you get away from me again,” he says, lifting my chin. “I was a stupid kid who didn’t fight for what he wanted. I should’ve fought for you, but I let you walk away. Despite what you might think, everyone let you down when we sat here and watched you walk away from us. Even before your parents died, they knew that you left in search of better things, but you had no intention of cutting everyone off.”

“And all I got was abused,” I snap. “For six fucking years, all I got was abused. I left to go to college, but I never even made it there. I got swept off my fucking feet and promised the world only to be given cigarette burns and scars from being whipped with a belt. I got broken bones and far too many bruises to count. So, whatever this bullshit sympathy is that you’re dishing out, you can fucking save it. I hurt you and my parents when I left. Chris was my punishment, and now I have to rebuild. I don’t need pity. I need to scrap the fucking car so I can survive.”

“When was the last time you ate?” he asks.

“Will you just-” I start to yell but he grabs my face and kisses me. Peace instantly sweeps over me, and I relax. When he pulls away, he keeps my face between his hands.

“Here’s how this is going to go, sweet Magnolia,” he says softly. “I am going to take you to the same diner that we went to every day after school. You are going to eat your favorite meal, and then we are going to go to my house. We are going to take a shower and get a nap. After that, you are going to explain why you came back. We are going to come up with a plan and I’m going to help you.”

“Why?” I ask almost inaudibly.

“Because you’re my girl, Miss Magnolia,” he smiles. “The day I told you that I was in love with you, I also told you that no matter how far you went or how long you were gone, you would always be my girl. I would be a damn liar. If I said that I didn’t hope that we could be something more, but I will happily be just your friend. I will always be in love with you, but I’m not going to force you into something that you don’t want. I want you to be happy, and you don’t look happy right now.”

“I’m happy like this,” I admit. “It scares me because he left some of his demons behind in my mind and I don’t know how to get rid of them. They haunt my nightmares, and I can’t sleep at night. I avoid sleep because his face is the only thing I see. I don’t know how to be happy anymore, but I want to remember.”

“Then let me remind you, Maggie. I know it’s overwhelming and I know your mind is playing tricks and trying to convince you that you have to be cautious, but you know me. Right?”

“Yeah,” I say.

“Then you know that I would never hurt you. I would never put my hands on you unless you asked me to,” he says. “Just let me take care of you. Please.”

“Okay,” I whisper.

“Good,” he smiles playfully. “Now I don’t have to tie you up in the trunk.

“You’ve always been a weirdo, Beau.” I laugh and wipe my face. “You are also very demanding.”

“And possessive,” he smiles. “Come on, pretty girl. Let’s go.”

Hands are tight around my throat, and I can’t make it stop. I can’t breathe. I throw myself out of bed, but I am brought back to reality when strong arms wrap around me. “I’m sorry,” I say tearfully.

After leaving the shop, we stopped by the diner to get food to take back to Beau’s house. I hardly got through the meal before exhaustion took over. We tried to watch a movie on the couch, but I fell asleep with my head in his lap. I am in his room now, so he must have carried me in here. “You’re okay, Maggie. I’ve got you,” he says softly before sitting on the edge of the bed.

“How long was I asleep?”

“Uh. A while,” he chuckles. “It’s ten at night.”

“Ten?!” I ask, sitting up. “I slept for a day?!”

“You did. I had Henry run the shop and I stayed here with you,” he says, cupping my cheek. “You need to eat.”

“Why did you let me sleep for so long, Beau?”

“Because you needed the sleep. You don’t look half dead anymore,” he smiles. “Feel better?”

“Yeah,” I say. “I’m surprised I slept that long is all.”

“You slept pretty soundly when I was next to you. You only ever stirred around when I would leave the room,” he says.

“Was that the only nightmare?”

“Oh, no. That’s just the only one you fully woke up for. You have night terrors,” he says.

“I’m sorry,” I frown. “I can-”

“If you suggest that you move somewhere else again, I am going to duct tape your mouth,” he says, and I smile at him. “You come down from them fairly easily. You have a lot of lead up before you get there, so many of them were avoided by me just laying with you. If you did panic, I would just hold you and you’d settle.”

“You slept with me?” I ask.

“Not in a creepy way, but yes,” he chuckles.

“Define creepy?” I ask, joining him in laughter.

“I mean I didn’t fuck you in your sleep or anything, but you did sleep cuddled up to me a lot of the time,” he says.

“Seven years and you still have the mind of the teenager,” I smile.

“Baby, men get older, but they never grow up,” he says with a playful grin.

“For the record, I didn’t think you’d fuck me in my sleep or at all, really. I am surprised that you stayed by my side for an entire day.”

“First, I will be by your side for the rest of our lives. I meant it when I said that you are my girl. No matter if I get to make you my wife one day or you are just my friend, I will always be here,” he says. “For the record, I would do filthy things to you. Don’t tempt me.”

“I didn’t take you for the desperate type,” I laugh. Beau grabs my waist and abruptly pulls me into his lap to straddle him and my breath catches in my throat. “Beau, I am touched deprived. Please don’t fuck with my head.”

“What is it going to take for you to understand how fucking serious I am?” he asks.

“Serious about what?” I ask.

“You. This. Us,” he says. “I have spent seven years dreaming of you coming back. Seven years playing a fantasy through my head of what I would say and do. Tell me right now that you never loved me, and I’ll drop it.”

“I can’t say that,” I whisper.

“And why not?” he asks, taking my face between his hands.

“Because I loved you then and I love you now,” I admit. “Chris… he… I still don’t know how he did it. I had a goal. I had dreams, and he crushed every one of them. He made it look like it was my idea. He made me feel special and loved. I was desperate to try and replace you in my mind, so it was easy for him to overwhelm me with affection. Once I was hooked, he showed me who he really was. It took less than two months for him to scream at me for the first time. It took six months for him to hit me and eight months for him to break my wrist. I was hospitalized with a concussion after eighteen months in. It took me six years to realize that I was being abused. Six long and painful years for me to want to escape. The first time I tried to leave, he beat me unconscious. The next five times I ended up with burns, scars, broken bones… but… the last time is what did it. I had finally pushed him too far.”

“What did he do?” he asks gently.

“He strangled me,” I say. “He was on top of me with his hands on my throat. No matter how hard I hit him or how much I thrashed my body to try and get out from under him, he wouldn’t let up. I knew he was going to kill me if I didn’t fight harder. I knew that he would finally destroy the last shred of my soul if I didn’t get away from him. I was able to grab hold of a book that had fallen off the shelf, and I hit him on the side of the head with it. He was dazed just enough that I was able to get up and run out of the house. I didn’t stop running until I finally saw a car. Luckily, it was a cop car. I filed charges and went to a shelter. They helped me through the court case, and I suppose I could have stayed there, but I just wanted to come home. I didn’t think I had anything left to come home too, but I missed being here. I sold everything of value to buy that piece-of-shit car, and now I have nothing left.”

“You have me,” he says with a soft smile. “I’ll give you the world, sweet Magnolia. My girl will never know pain like that again.”

“I can’t get hurt again, Beau,” I tell him. “I want to give you what’s left of my heart, but I don’t have much else to give. I do not want you to be disappointed when you realize that the girl you used to know is gone.”

“She’s not gone,” Beau says. “She’s a little scared, but she’s still there inside of you.”

“I want to find her. I just don’t know where to look,” I admit.

“Do you trust me, Magnolia?” he asks.

“With my life,” I say confidently.

“Let me help you find her,” he says, brushing his lips across mine as he moves his hands to my waist.

“You better not make a joke about finding her inside of me,” I smile.

“I was going to say you need to relax in order to escape the demons, but I think I like that one better,” he laughs.

“How do you suppose you can help me relax?” I ask.

“Well, you have a few options,” he says as he moves me to lie on the bed as he settles between my legs. He has his hands on either side of my body. Beyond his positioning, he is hardly touching me. It is me that has my hands on his chest. I am letting instinct lead, and it’s brought me to lying under him with an urge to beg him for more.

“Oh?” I ask.

“We could meditate. We could try yoga. I could give you a massage,” he says.

“Or?”

“Or I can fuck you,” he says with a devious smile. “I can help you escape your mind while reminding you just how much I care about you. Understand that if you let me inside of you, Magnolia, you will be mine and I will spoil the shit out of you. I will show you all the love that you have been missing.”

“I’m not after anything materialistic, Beau,” I say. “Please don’t think I…”

“I know, sweetheart. I know that’s not what you are after. I think you would be content living in your car still, which is why I am so confident in this. We have a lot to learn about each other, and maybe it won’t work out. Maybe six months down the road we will decide that we are better off as friends. I want you to have the reassurance that no matter what happens, I am here. I will not hurt you, no matter what you say or do. If you end up moving on to be with another man, I want you to go into it with confidence that you are deserving of love, and you never settle for the abuse that Chris gave you. All I have ever wanted to do was make you happy, so I’m asking for a chance for you to put a little bit of your trust in my hands.”

“Okay,” I smile. “Help me escape.”

“Yeah?” he asks with a smile.

“I really need for you to quit being sweet for a moment and fuck me like it’s a punishment for running away,” I say.

“Oh, sweet Magnolia,” he says as he sits back. “Be careful what you wish for.”

Beau and I are driven by pure instinct as we get undressed. He is moving slightly faster than my anxiety is building, and I’m incredibly thankful for that. He moves down my body, gently kissing every scar and physical reminder of the abuse I endured. As long as I stay focused on his touch, I can relax.

“My sweet Magnolia,” he sings as he settles on the bed between my legs. I am nearly panting when he wraps his thick arms around my thighs. “I wonder if you taste as sweet as you look.”

“Beau,” I whimper softly. Something about the subtleness of his dominance is indicative that he is going to absolutely wreck me.

Instead of responding, he flicks his tongue across my clit. I gasp and arch off the bed, so he keeps doing it. “Oh my God,” I moan.

“I am your God now, Magnolia,” he says as he looks up at me from between my trembling thighs. “Now, pray for me.”

When he returns his mouth to my pussy, he starts sucking on my clit. I’m starting to come undone at the seams already, but this sends me headfirst over the edge. I twist my body, and he promptly rolls and pulls me on top of him. I grab hold of the headboard to keep myself steady as he wraps his arms tightly around my thighs to ensure that I cannot escape his mouth.

His wonderful fucking mouth. Christ, is this what I’ve missed out on for seven years? All my worries feel insignificant when he is making me feel this good. I can finally see the light and it reminds me that it was always there. I just had to look for it. I am looking now and all I see is Beau and his radiant soul drawing me in.

When my orgasm crashes over me, Beau rolls us back so that I am lying on my back again. He hooks his arms behind my knees before leaning into my body, folding me in half. I’ve never been so excited to have my knees in my chest before. “Take a deep breath,” he says gently.

“Why do I…”

“Shhh. Take a deep breath, Magnolia,” he repeats softly. I nod and do what he tells me.

“Oh fuck,” I groan when he slowly fills me. This man is painfully large, and my body is struggling to adapt to his size.

“Christ, you are so fucking tight,” he grunts.

“Slow. Please, God. Slow,” I beg.

“Look at you, my sweet Magnolia. You take me so well,” he praises. When he bottoms out inside of me, I whimper. It is an overwhelmingly full feeling that he is creating. “Let’s see how much my girl can take, hmm?”

I moan in response as he draws out of me, but I scream out my pleasure when he suddenly slams back into me. Beau starts fucking me hard and deep, but keeps a slow pace. It is punishing yet gentle all at the same time. How he can twist sweet lovemaking and a brutal fucking together is mind blowing.

“Fuck, that’s good,” I moan. “More. Please, more.”

“My greedy little girl,” he says as he drops my legs to roll us. He immediately grabs my hips and starts fucking me from below while I support myself with my hands on his chest. I cannot think or speak beyond the intensity of his thrusts. There are no lurking shadows waiting to drag me back into the darkness. I can’t hear the demons trying to convince me that I’m anything but worthy of love and respect. The dysfunction and chaos that usually swirls my thoughts have no place in this moment because every brutal thrust is a reminder that he has wanted this for so long; that we have both wanted this for so long.

We were young and dumb, but before I could make sense of my decisions, I was swept into the darkness by someone almost twice my age. I was convinced that he loved me, and he had never known happiness the way he experienced it with me. I believed him because I had no reason to doubt the overwhelming amount of feigned love that he gave me. He was so sweet that I didn’t realize that he was feeding me bullshit until it was too late.

Beau is pounding into me with everything that he has, and I have resorted to lying on his chest with my face buried in his neck as he has his arms tightly banded around my body. My hips move in perfect synchrony with him as we collide. My belly aches, but it’s like a drug that I cannot get enough of. One taste and I’m fucking addicted to him. Maybe this is yet another one of my mistakes, but it feels so right. All I can see is an endless number of green flags, all pointing me back to Beau.

“Oh Beau,” I moan. “I’m gonna come. Oh my God, Beau.”

Beau growls in response and pulls my face closer to kiss me hard. We both moan as we start to fall, desperate for release. Desperate to come. I have taken over the movements as I break our kiss to pull myself up onto my hands again for better leverage. He cups my breasts, gently squeezing and massaging. I can feel his hot breath on my chest before roughly sucking on my nipple. It triggers something in my brain and all at once, an orgasm explodes inside of me. It sends a hot wave of fire through my body, but I’m not afraid of getting burned. I let the flames consume me as I pull us through our release. When the feeling starts to fade, he pulls me down to his chest as I collapse. We are both panting, but almost simultaneously, we start laughing.

“You’re a freaky little thing,” Beau says breathlessly.

“You have a monstrously large dick,” I mutter.

“You must not be too offended, considering it’s still inside you,” he chuckles and kisses the top of my head.

“Beau, I don’t think I’m physically capable of moving right now. It’s okay where it is,” I say.

“Hang out for too long and I’ll fuck you again,” he laughs.

“You’ll be fucking me in my sleep.”

“There we go. I can just fuck away the nightmares,” he says.

“I know you meant that as a joke, but I’m game. Have at it if it means I stop waking up panicking.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he says. I sit up slightly, and he is smiling.

“Are you sure you want me?” I ask.

“Yes, Maggie,” he says. “This is all I’ve ever wanted. I’m sorry if I came off strong. I just… I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. When you didn’t show up for your parents’ funeral, I thought you were gone forever.”

“I tried to come, but I ended up in the hospital,” I say. “Turns out, if you ask one too many times, then you end up with a skull fracture. Luckily it wasn’t bad, and I didn’t have any brain bleeds.”

“That’s awful. I’m so sorry, Magnolia,” he says. “You said he was in prison?”

“Yeah. Six months ago, he was sentenced to ten years in prison for aggravated domestic battery. He will be eligible for parole after eight, but I have a lifetime protection order,” I say. “He knows that I am from Western North Carolina, but he doesn’t know where. If he gets out, he won’t be able to find me. I was looking into trying to have my last name legally changed to prevent him from finding me, but that shit is expensive.”

“Oh, don’t tell me that. I’ll take you to the courthouse,” he says, rolling us so we are laying on our side.

“Very funny,” I laugh. “I just need to find a job and save up.”

“I’m not joking, Magnolia,” he says seriously. “You just say the word and I will marry you, even if it’s only to hide from him.”

“Beau, you don’t want to marry me,” I say. “I know you’ve missed me, and I know you think that you are in love with me, but I have nothing to offer that Chris didn’t already destroy.”

“I’m not going to invalidate your feelings by telling you that you are wrong, because I do believe that you think that is true. What I will say is that I will do everything in my power to show you that you are worthy of love. I don’t need you to offer me anything, Magnolia. All I need is you. That’s it. This right here… us together… That means more to me than anything that you think you have to give me.”

“I’m broken, Beau,”. I say softly. “He did awful things to me, and it took me far too long to realize just how bad things had gotten. I got used to the chaos and I don’t know how to relax. I don’t know how to make that part of my brain that is constantly making me think that I’m about to get hurt again shut up. One minute I can be fine and the next minute, it’s like I’m back on the floor with his hands around my throat. It’s like a light switch and I don’t know how to make it stop.”

“You are traumatized, baby. We don’t get to decide how long it takes to heal. We do not get to choose what works and what does not when we try to heal. You have to learn how to navigate the world without his abuse, and I will be by your side every step of the way,” he says. “I will pick you up and carry you as far as I need if it means that when I set you down, you can stand on your own two feet. You are stronger than you know, and you never should have found the strength the way you did. You are a survivor, Magnolia. Now it’s time to live.”

“You are incredible,” I say. “I don’t deserve you.”

“You’re right,” he says. “You deserve better, but I am far too greedy to give you up now.”

“I like how you twisted that,” I smile.

“You like that?” he laughs. “No matter what negative things you say about yourself, I can always show you the truth beyond your trauma.”

“So… what now?” I ask.

“Now, we get you what you need. You can come work with me at the shop,” he says.

“I don’t think you want me working on cars,” I laugh.

“I meant in the office, smartass,” he laughs.

“I’ll save up and…”

“And nothing,” he says. “You live here. You let me take care of you. Magnolia, you have been going at it alone since the day you left. I think it’s time you take some time to heal.”

“I don’t want to be a burden,” I admit.

“At least you are a pretty burden,” he teases with a playful smile. “You’re not a burden, Maggie. I promise. I do not do things that I don’t want to do, but I want to do this. I want to take care of you.”

“I’ll try, but… it’s going to be hard,” I say.

“I know,” he says. “It’s never been in your nature to ask for help, so I know it’s going to end up being a situation where I will take the initiative to handle things before you need it done. I’m not going to wait on you hand and foot because I know that will not help you, but I will make your life significantly easier. You are having to learn the world all over again now that you have found freedom. Everything changes so fast, but I want to make it as easy as possible.”

“All of this feels too good to be true, which I guess should be a red flag. It feels so right though,” I explain.

“It’s real, baby. I promise, you are safe with me.”

“I know,” I smile.

“Let’s get you something to eat. You still like pizza?”

“I do!” I say happily.

“Let’s order pizza and we can watch the movie we tried to watch last night,” he says, kissing me.

I close the dishwasher but scream when I turn around and find Beau behind me. He wraps me in a hug, letting my heart settle. “I’m sorry I scared you,” he says softly.

“It’s okay. I just didn’t hear you,” I mutter.

“You slept better last night,” he says as he pulls back to kiss me. “Man, I love having you here.”

“I love being here,” I admit. “And it’s hard to have a nightmare when I’m in your arms.”

“Good,” he smiles. “What do you want to do today?”

“Whatever you want to do,” I shrug. “I am content cleaning.”

“You saying the house is dirty?” he asks, raises an eyebrow.

“No, no, no. I’m not. I just mean… I wasn’t saying…”

“Hey. Relax. It was a joke, Maggie. It’s okay,” he says, holding my face as I walk the edge of panic. “Breathe, honey. I’m not upset. Okay?”

“I’m sorry,” I say tearfully.

“Nothing to apologize for. It’s a trauma response,” he says, kissing me. “You are going to get triggered by things. It may not make sense, and you may not even know that you’re triggered by something, but it will happen. You won’t know how you respond until you are responding. It’s beyond your control, but I will help to the best of my ability.”

“You shouldn’t have to,” I sniff.

“Maybe. Maybe not. What I do know is that I want to,” he says. “If I want you, then it is important that I understand how to help you out of that darkness. I am more than happy to bring you back to the light over and over again. Eventually, you will learn how to pull yourself back. Someday, the darkness will have a well-defined path for you to navigate. We may not be able to see that path yet, but I will be your guide.”

“Why are you so damn poetic?” I ask, and he laughs. “I know I’m making things more difficult than maybe they should be, but I’m trying to put my faith in you. I didn’t realize it would be this hard to trust someone that I already trust.”

“That’s trauma, Magnolia. It just distorts everything around you,” he says.

“How do you know so much about this?” I ask.

“I was in a pretty horrific relationship after you left,” he says. “I was sad and lonely, so I let someone into my life that did not belong there. She was mentally, verbally, and sometimes even sexually abusive. I never got help because I didn’t see the signs. Men are trained to believe they cannot be a victim of domestic abuse, so I refuse to think that it was her fault.”

“What happened to her?” I ask.

“I finally got my head out of my ass,” he says. “I thought she had been cheating, but I didn’t know. I left the shop early one day and came home to her getting railed by her ex-boyfriend in our bed. I finally felt like I had a reason to leave her, so I told her to pack her shit and get out. She did with little resistance. I sold the house a few weeks later and bought this one. That was three years ago.”

“You haven’t been in a relationship since?”

“Nope. I learned to not settle for anything but the best,” he says. “I realize that no one would ever match you, so I wasn’t interested in a relationship with anyone.”

“But you had sex.”

“I did. I tried not to make a habit of one-night stands, but sometimes I got lonely.”

“Anyone I know?”

“I had sex with Jessie Young while we were both shitfaced drunk,” he laughs.

“At least she’s pretty,” I shrug.

“Not as pretty as you,” he says with a sweet smile before kissing me.

“So, you think she’s pretty?” I ask with a matching smile.

“Oh, jealousy sure does look good on you,” he grins, and I laugh. “Yes, I do think she’s pretty. I also know that you are not the type to be jealous. If you do feel like being jealous, I can certainly remind you just how much I want you.”

“Oh?” I say. “I’d love a reminder!”

“Oh yeah?” he asks with a grin as he backs me up to the couch.

“Mhmm. Think you can last long enough to give me a reminder?” I ask.

“Oh, there’s bratty Maggie,” he says as he turns and bends me over the arm of the couch. I giggle when he playfully smacks my ass.

I think what I love most about him is that he can melt away my worries with little effort. Really, he has always been like that. Anxiety is not a new thing for me. I’ve always struggled with it, and he has always had a way of calming me down. I think now it’s knowing just how good he can make me feel helps level me out in these moments. It’s hard to think about my trauma when I’m thinking about how sore my cervix is going to be after he fucks me.

Beau pulls my shorts and panties down to my ankles before pushing his fingers inside of me. “Is this what you wanted, love?”

“No,” I whine and wiggle my ass, needing so much more.

“Then tell me what you want, my sweet Magnolia,” he encourages. I can’t get the words out, which is probably why he wants me to say it. He wants me to not only voice my desires, but to learn to speak up for myself. “Come on, pretty girl. Tell me what you want.”

“I can’t,” I complain. “Please, Beau.”

“Please, what?” he asks as he slowly fucks me with his hand. I groan and push my hips back, but he promptly puts his hands between my shoulder blades to pin me to the couch. “Sit still, my love. Tell me what you want.”

“You,” I whimper.

“You have me,” he says. “Tell me.”

“Fuck, Beau,” I groan when he stops all together.

“Say it, Magnolia. I want to hear it,” he says softly.

“God, fine,” I snap. “Fuck me, Beau. For the love of God, fuck me.”

“That’s my good girl,” he praises and moves his hands to my hips. With one punishing thrust, he buries himself in my pussy and immediately starts to pound into me. He has his hand on the back of my neck, keeping me pinned with my arms under me as he violently fucks me. It is, without a doubt, the most amazing feeling to be used by him. How can someone so sweet fuck so hard? This man could do real damage, and I would absolutely let him as long as he kept making me come.

“Oh God,” I moan.

“That’s my girl,” he grunts. “Pray to me, sweet Magnolia.”

“You’re so deep, Beau. Oh my God,” I whimper. “Harder. Please.”

Beau nearly growls as he pushes me forward on the couch so that I am flat before rolling me onto my back. He brings my legs to drape over his shoulders before surging back into me. I cry out as I arch off the couch with a near feral moan. He quickens his pace until I feel like I cannot breathe as he rails me into the couch. Every stroke is a blinding reminder that he wants me here with him. He wants this… Us. He has always been the type to mean what he says and do as he wants.

As the pressure builds in my belly, I am nearly screaming as the pleasure rips through me. I can only manage to say his name at this point and every time I moan it, Beau drives into me faster and harder. Our pleasure feeds off one another, and I could live like this forever. When everything reaches a peak and my orgasm explodes, it shatters my past into a thousand tiny fragments. The jagged shards tear apart any doubt that I had about coming home… For being here with Beau. It seems so obvious from this perspective, freedom was always within my reach. I just had to grab it.

By the time he brings himself down to lie on my chest, we are both nearly gasping for air. It takes a second for either of us to be able to speak. “I’m sorry she hurt you, Beau,” I say quietly.

“I’m sorry he hurt you,” he says as he sits up on his elbows to look at me.

“But you know what?” I ask.

“What’s that?”

“I’d go through it all over it if it meant being able to appreciate what’s right in front of me,” I say as I run my fingers through his hair. I smile softly when his eyelids flutter as my nails drag across his scalp. It’s this moment that I realize that he is still healing. “We both went through things we didn’t deserve, but we are free now. We spent our entire childhood looking to each other for support, so that’s what we will do now. We have a whole world out there to explore, and I wouldn’t want to travel this life without you by my side.”

“No one has ever acknowledged my need for healing before,” he says.

“Until now,” I tell him. “We can heal together. We both have gone at life alone for far too long, so now we get to relax.”

“I guess I can’t argue if you use my words against me,” he teases. I laugh and wiggle under the weight of his body when he tickles my side.

“I love you, Beau,” I say sweetly.

“I love you too,” he says before gently kissing me. “Welcome home, sweet Magnolia.”

The End