Emily

EMILY

I LET OUT A low moan as I leaned over the sink and took a bite of the tomato sandwich I’d made for myself. After being back in Autumn Springs for several weeks, I’d recalled there were more than a few things I’d forgotten that I loved from the south. Tomato sandwiches and sweet tea were at the top of the list.

“You ready?” my mom shouted out from the other room.

“In a minute,” I mumbled around a mouth full of sandwich. They were so dang messy, but totally worth it. My mom popped her head into the kitchen and chuckled when she saw me. I swallowed what was in my mouth. “I’m eating it over the sink so I don’t get it on my sweatshirt.”

My mom raised both her hands up in front of her chest. “I didn’t say anything.”

“Give me five minutes and I’ll be ready to go,” I said before taking another bite. I’d discovered that the local market carried these giant heirloom tomatoes that were just perfect for sandwiches. I’d had one every day since I’d been back. I would’ve liked to say it was the sandwiches that were making me feel like Chicago and Noah’s father were a distant speck in my rearview mirror, but it was really everything about Autumn Springs. The mountain air, the way the trees were a bright hue of fall colors, my parents, being able to walk to the market each day, how happy Noah seemed, and the general slower pace of life were all major contributors. It made me wonder why I’d stayed away for so long.

“We’ll wait for you in the car,” my mom said as she rummaged through her purse for the car keys. Nobody locked their doors here, so house keys weren’t necessary. “We want to be sure and get good seats.” I gave my mom a thumbs up before she turned and left the kitchen.

I hadn’t been surprised when Noah made the Autumn Springs High School Basketball Team. He was incredibly proud to have made the varsity team. My parents and I were headed to his very first game—it was also going to be the first time I’d been to my old high school since I’d graduated. Initially I’d been nervous, but the excitement about seeing Noah play far outweighed anything else. I hoped I’d get a chance to meet Noah’s coach, who was also his math teacher. Parent-Teacher conferences still weren’t for another month, but Noah spoke so highly of his coach, who he apparently called “Coach” even in math class, I wanted to let Coach know. Given everything that happened with Noah’s father, I really wanted Noah to have positive male role models in his life. It sounded like Coach could be one of them, but I needed to meet him for myself first before I could make a final decision.

I grabbed a paper towel off the roll by the sink and wiped my face after finishing the last bite of my sandwich. Time to go watch my baby in his first varsity game at my old high school.

WALKING INTO THE GYM, I could see very little had changed. The walls were painted in the same yellow and navy blue stripes they had been twenty years ago. The giant mural of a fierce looking eagle mid-flight still took up half of one wall and the scoreboard took up the other half. The wooden bleachers were pulled out on both sides, and had already started to fill. The hardwood court gleamed with a fresh coat of wax and the smell of popcorn wafted through the air from the concession stand. It was like a step back in time. I couldn’t help the flash of Levi that ran through my mind and all the games I’d attended to watch him play. Every time he scored, he’d glance up at me in the stands. It always made my heart flutter.

“Emily? Are you alright, dear?” my mother asked with concern in her voice.

I blinked my eyes a few times before responding. “Yes. It’s just a little strange being back in here after all this time.”

My parents nodded in unison like it was something they’d anticipated. “Let’s sit down.” My dad gestured to the bleachers.

We climbed about half way up in the middle and took our seats. It didn’t take long until the team jogged out of the locker room for warm-ups. My eyes immediately went to Noah with his shaggy blond hair. He was one of the taller kids on the team, even though he was only a sophomore. He definitely got his hair color from me and his height from his dad. I felt my throat get tight and tears start to prickle at the corner of my eyes. Noah looked so grown up in his white uniform with the blue trim and ‘Williams’ written across the back in blue lettering. He’d been taller than me since he was in the seventh grade, but somehow, seeing him out on the basketball court it hit me that he only had a few years until he was legally an adult.

I was so wrapped up in watching Noah as he effortlessly ran through the designated drills, I didn’t realize how much time had passed until the score clock let out a loud buzzing sound and reset itself. Warm-ups were over and it was ten minutes until the game would begin. I watched Noah as he and the rest of his teammates jogged back toward the locker room.

It was only then that I saw him.

I momentarily closed my eyes. There was no way.

I quickly opened my eyes and sucked in a breath when I saw him standing next to the benches holding a clipboard in one hand and high-fiving each of the players as they jogged by. He was wearing a well fitted navy suit with a yellow tie instead of the sweatshirt and baggy jeans he used to wear, but the broad shoulders, strong jawline, close-cut dark hair, and perfect smile could only belong to one man.

Levi Hall.

My hand involuntarily went up to my throat as I watched Levi high-five the last player and then follow them into the locker room. I couldn’t believe how much he still looked like that boy I’d fallen in love with all those years ago, only somehow better. His once boyish features were now undoubtedly all man. He seemed to exude that wisdom and confidence I’d discovered came with age.

“Mom?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper.

“Yes, dear?” she replied without even taking her eyes off the paper program in her hands. “They have Noah listed here as six feet tall! My goodness! And he’s not even done growing!”

“He got his dad’s height,” I muttered as my gaze went back to the locker room door. The locker room that contained the grown-up version of my high school boyfriend and my son. My brain seemed to be stuck like a record player as that thought played over and over.

“Well,” my mom chuckled. “He certainly didn’t get it from anyone in our family.”

I turned my head back in her direction. “Why didn’t you tell me Levi was the coach?” I asked in the same hushed tone. I didn’t want to speak any louder in case anyone was listening. I swore, in a town the size of Autumn Springs, someone was always listening.

My mom’s eyes finally moved away from the program and met mine with a look of confusion. “I thought you knew. Everyone knows. He’s been the coach for the past ten years.”

“I didn’t know.” My whisper was more of a hiss. I wasn’t sure why other than the fact all my emotions seemed to have gone completely haywire.

My mom looked even more surprised. “I thought you two kept in touch. Like over Facebook or something. Isn’t that what everyone your age does?”

“He doesn’t have an account,” I said without thinking.

Luckily the teams came running back to the court at that very moment distracting my mother from asking any further questions. I didn’t really feel like telling my mother how I’d periodically attempted to Facebook stalk my ex-high school boyfriend in the early years before I’d met Noah’s dad…and then again about a year ago when the “business trips” had grown more frequent. One night, Noah was staying with a friend and the loneliness had almost swallowed me whole. After a couple of glasses of wine, I’d decided to see if I could find Levi. The facts alone were embarrassing enough. Discussing it with my mother was a next level embarrassment I wouldn’t put myself in.

I watched as Noah walked to the center of the court and shook the hand of the boy from the other team while the referee stood by in his black and white striped shirt. Pride took over every part of me. Not only was Noah one of the starting players on the varsity team, but he was the player selected for the opening tip.

“Let’s go Williams!” I shouted out from my spot in the bleachers as the referee threw the basketball up into the air. I held my breath as Noah reached it first and tipped it to one of his teammates. I glanced over at Levi and saw the huge smile on his face as he clapped and cheered for Noah.

I quickly moved my focus back to the game. I needed to push all thoughts of Levi out of my mind for the moment. I was certain he was probably married with a family of his own. I’d told Noah I’d wait for him in the gym after the game–maybe I’d get a chance to say hello to Levi…but the question was, did I really want to? Did I really want to hear about his perfect family when mine had fallen apart?