Emily

EMILY

“ARE YOU GOING TO keep the silent treatment up for the entire ride?” I waited a few seconds and when he continued to stare out the passenger side window instead of responding, I decided it was time to end the quiet. We’d been in the car for hours with only the low murmur of whatever radio station was in range playing in the background. I knew my fifteen-year-old son, Noah, was angry at me. What teen wouldn’t be angry about being plucked out of the school they’d gone to since kindergarten and moved to a new school in a different state where they didn’t know a single person other than their grandparents? It wasn’t the choice I’d wanted to make, but after the divorce was finalized, it was the only choice I’d had.

I reached over and turned off the radio. “Buddy, I’m sorry everything ended up like this, but I need your grandparents help. I can’t do this on my own right now.” Saying the words out loud caused every part of my body to tense up as I tried my hardest to hold back the tears. I promised myself I wasn’t going to cry in front of Noah again—there’d been enough of that over the past several months. Ever since I’d found out my husband had not only been cheating on me for years, but had actually started a second family during that time, I’d been an emotional wreck. I’d had no idea about any of it until he came home one day from a “business trip” and announced he was leaving me and Noah for his new family.

I took a deep breath to steady myself before continuing, “I know we talked about this before we left Chicago, but if you don’t want to come to North Carolina with me, you can stay with your dad and…”

Noah quickly turned his head in my direction, stopping me mid-sentence. “I’m not staying with him.” His words were sharp and so hate filled it made my heart crumple.

Based on experience, I knew it was best to change the subject. I’d tried to shield Noah from this as much as I could, but he was a smart and perceptive kid. “The school year has already started, but we'll be there in time for you to try out for the basketball team.” I attempted to keep my voice light and hopeful.

Noah let out a snort. “I’m sure the team sucks.”

I could feel some of the tension lift from my chest and shoulders. “That, my dear son, is where you are wrong. North Carolina loves basketball. There are the Tar Heels, Wakeforest, Duke…” I trailed off trying to think of other teams from the state I hadn’t lived in for almost twenty years.

“Those are college teams, not high school. Besides, we’re moving to Western North Carolina. None of those are there.” I glanced over just in time to see Noah roll his eyes at me. I’d take it. Eye rolling was better than the silent treatment.

“The Autumn Springs High Eagles used to be a great basketball team. They won the state championship when I was a senior.” A flood of memories I hadn’t thought of in years suddenly hit me like a freight train. At the forefront of every single one was Levi Hall—my boyfriend for three out of the four years of high school. Levi had been the star basketball player and arguably the most popular person to walk the halls of our school at the time. I’d always known who he was since it was the kind of school where you couldn’t help but know pretty much everyone, but we ran in different social circles. That was until Levi needed a tutor for math at the beginning of our sophomore year. Tutoring sessions morphed into walking home together, then Friday nights together at the bonfire with Levi’s arm around my shoulders or waist the entire time.

Soon I was sitting in the bleachers at his basketball games wearing one of his Eagles Basketball sweatshirts with “Hall” on the back. He’d been my first everything and I thought we’d be together forever…that was until we both got scholarships to different colleges. Levi had received a basketball scholarship to a local school he couldn’t pass up, and I’d desperately wanted to get out of our small town and live in the city which is why I’d accepted a scholarship to The University of Chicago.

At the time, we thought we could make long distance work. It didn’t take long for the more than twelve-hour drive separating us and intense course schedules to take a toll on our relationship. When Levi started his college basketball season, practice, games, and travel time were added to the mix. Suddenly even phone calls were difficult. We slowly drifted apart, and the break-up was amicable. We’d agreed to keep in touch, but that fizzled out over time as well. My junior year of college, I met Noah’s dad at a dinner party held by mutual friends. He was in graduate school at the time, and when I walked at my own graduation, I was newly pregnant with Noah. We’d married shortly after those two lines popped up on the pregnancy test and everything seemed perfect. At the time, I was so excited to be a stay-at-home parent for Noah, however, fifteen years later I was divorced with no work history. Noah’s dad was more interested in his new family, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to make it work for Noah and myself in Chicago. That was when I swallowed my pride and called my parents to ask if we could move in with them until I could get back on my feet.

“Mom? Mom? Are you listening to me?” Noah’s voice broke through my walk down memory lane.

“Yes,” I replied quickly as I blinked my eyes a few times trying to rid my mind of Levi Hall. “I was just thinking about basketball.”

Noah snorted and let out a low chuckle. “Right.” I glanced over and saw the hint of a smile on the corners of his mouth. It made me happy to see; there had been very few smiles from Noah recently. “I was saying there’s no way a school that small can have a decent basketball team.” He leaned back against the headrest and let out a heavy sigh. “And this was the year I had a real chance at making varsity.”

That comment hurt my mama-heart. Noah had loved basketball ever since he got his first toddler hoop with a stuffed ball. As he grew older, his love for the game only grew deeper. The high school he’d attended in Chicago was huge and earning a spot on the team required hard work and dedication. It was a challenge Noah had thrown himself into wholeheartedly. The entire population of Autumn Springs was less than the number of kids in his former high school. I chewed my bottom lip nervously as I drove. Another thing I was certain Noah was angry about.

“We will just have to see when we get there.” I knew my answer was one of those canned parent responses I tried to avoid, but I didn’t have the energy for an argument about something that couldn’t be changed.

Out of the side of my eye, I could see Noah studying me. “What is there to do there?” he finally asked.

“Well,” I started slowly. “Autumn Springs is a huge tourist town, especially this time of year.”

“What do people come to do?” Noah’s tone was laced with skepticism.

“Lots of people come to see the fall leaves; they really are beautiful. There’s also the Appalachian Mountains which people come to see, but they also come to hike and camp–that kind of stuff. From what I remember, the town itself has a small brewery, some shops, and a few restaurants.”

“Real exciting stuff.” Noah’s tone dripped with sarcasm. To a fifteen-year-old boy used to the hustle and bustle of Chicago, I was sure it did sound like some kind of nightmare.

“Please try and have an open mind, Buddy. Grandma and Grandpa are really excited we’re coming to stay with them, and this is going to be a for now situation, not a forever. I just need a little time to get things sorted out.”

Noah sighed. “I know. It’s just hard.” He ran a hand through his mop of blonde hair which made it stick up in different directions. He desperately needed a haircut, but Noah kept insisting that was the style. “It’s a lot of new things all at once.”

I let out a laugh. “You’re telling me.”

My response didn’t have quite the effect I’d intended. Instead of laughing with me, Noah silently turned and looked out the passenger window again absent mindedly twirling the string from the hood of his sweatshirt. After several minutes he turned back to me. “I forget sometimes how hard this is on you too,” he said quietly. “That you're also making all these changes and that,” he paused and dropped the sweatshirt string, “That you lost him too.”

I took in a sharp breath. How could he be so young yet so insightful?

“You’re such a good kid, Noah. I’m lucky to be your mom. And as your mom, it’s my job to worry about you, not your job to worry about me.” I quickly glanced in his direction with a small smile.

“Are you going to start going on dates?” Noah asked with a bit of a smirk. “Because that’s going to be weird as fuck.”

“Language!” I glanced over at Noah with what I hope appeared to be a stern look. I was graced with another eye roll. “And no. You don’t have to worry about me dating. That’s not going to happen any time soon and it especially won’t happen while we’re in Autumn Springs.”