Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

Soft morning light filters through my childhood curtains, the pink butterflies and sun casting the room in a warm glow. For a moment, I forget where I am and when, until I take a deep breath, filling my senses with Julian’s warm cedar scent mixed with traces of me. His arm drapes over me, radiating heat, while his warm breath against my neck sends a chill down my spine. Living in Florida for so long, you’d think I’d be used to the heat, but this is different—he’s different—consuming me and igniting me from the inside out.

Memories of the night before rush in, a smile lifts the corners of my lips as my body comes alive, recalling the fire in our touch, as if we were both trying to etch another memory into our hearts. But suddenly, a wave of anxiety crashes over me, and as my mind tries to bring me back to my senses. I try to pry myself free, but the reality of our situation settles in—regret and desire battle it out in my heart, while the fear of the past repeating itself wins. Here I am in Haven, for my dad, just like before, and Julian should be nothing more than a footnote from my past. We were a blip in each other’s lives for barely five seconds, yet here he is, trying to hijack the whole story.

I have responsibilities and a timeline here. I’m getting Dad set up with a home nurse, and then I’m back on the road before the end of the month. Dad and I can pick up on our Sunday phone calls and maybe even more. If I can convince him to come to Florida, that would be even better, but I can’t promise more than that. I have a whole life to get back to—deadlines, signings, and book deals. I can’t do that from here with Mom.

Julian and I— we can’t—this can’t be anything more than this.

Gently, I shift away from him, careful not to wake him, and roll onto my knees. My heart races as I crawl, bare-assed naked, toward the door.

“What are you doing?”

I freeze at the sound of his voice, rough with sleep.

As if sensing my inner turmoil, Julian sits up, the sheets pooling in front of him. His bare chest and the tattoos I couldn’t see in the dark, now illuminated by the morning light. It’s a beautiful work of art I can’t look away from, no matter how foolish I feel right now.

He narrows his eyes, the anger in them holding me hostage as I rack my brain for words.

He climbs out of bed, and I’m grateful he has his boxers on—because I can see this playing out in so many different ways, each one ending with me on all fours, forgetting all about my escape.

He walks slowly toward me, kneeling down in front of me, his finger tipping my chin up so I can’t look away. “I’m only going to ask you once more, Lina. What are you doing?”

His words vibrate through me. I swallow hard, searching for the courage to say what needs to be said.

“You were leaving,” he says, exhaling slowly.

The sound of my phone ringing in the other room jolts me into action. I grab a crumpled t-shirt closest to me and tug it on, noticing too late that it’s definitely Julian’s before rushing out to grab my phone, still in my jacket pocket.

“Haven Medical Center” flashes on the screen.

“Hello,” I answer, though my ears are more focused on Julian moving around in my bedroom. He emerges from the room, half-dressed in his jeans and sneakers, probably searching for the t-shirt I’m currently wrapped in.

“Lina, it’s Eve. I know it’s early, but I just clocked in for my shift and—” She pauses. “He had a stroke last night.”

“What?” Dread pools in my stomach as I fall onto the couch. Julian is instantly by my side, watching me. “Is he okay?”

“He’s stable, but after a scan, the doctor found some concerning signs. He wants to talk to you in person if you can head down.”

“I’ll be right there.”

I hang up and scramble around the room, searching for my sneakers.

“Lina?” Julian asks, concern lacing his voice. “What happened?”

“He had a stroke, and the scan—” Tears fill my eyes as the rest of the words get stuck in my throat. Julian pulls me into his arms, and I shake my head, pushing against him. “I have to go.”

“Just take a minute, okay?” He slips a hand behind my neck, urging me to stay put.

“I can’t do this with you.”

“We’re not doing anything. Just take a minute, stay with me. That’s it.”

I breathe in and out, letting my head fall against his chest as I wrap my arms around him. His fingers trace a path up and down my neck until my shallow breaths even out.

“You don’t have to go through this alone. I’m here. I’ve been here, and your dad means more to me than anyone else.” His words make my heart ache.

“I’m scared,” I admit. “What if I let all these wasted years go by, and yesterday is all we have left?”

“Don’t do that. Don’t let your mind go there.”

“You’re right, sor—” He pins me with a glare. “Look, I came back to support my dad, and I can’t let anything get in the way of that. Not even you.” Tears prick at my eyes as I bite my tongue to keep myself from saying anything else.

Like, I want you. I need you. I’ve only ever come to life when I’m in your arms, and I don’t want to take just another memory of us back home.

His jaw clenches, and I can see understanding flicker in his eyes. He nods and untangles himself from me, my skin instantly missing his warmth.

“You need pants,” he says, looking down at my bare legs. “Get dressed, and I’ll drive you.”

“You don’t have to. I can?—”

He cuts me off. “We can support each other right now. You don’t have to choose.”

But the truth is I’ve chosen once before. I chose Haven, I chose Julian, and I chose moving back in with my dad to start fresh. At the time, it felt like a win-win, but that quickly turned sideways when my dad caught me sneaking into the house after my night with Julian and then smashed those dreams to pieces.