Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

ANEKO

I wake up with a pounding headache and tears still in my eyes. Am I dreaming? Was the whole funeral just a dream? Whose arms are around me?

My heartbeat picks up as I remember. Jasper and Kaloosh made it. They came to support me without ever being asked. Morina knew the whole story and was happy to help me out.

My eyes fill with tears as I feel the arms around me tighten. “Good morning, Aneko.”

His voice sends chills down my spine as I put my hands over his, where they rest on my waist. “Good morning? Better than yesterday morning? Sure, good, I don’t think I’m there yet.”

His hands loosen as he pulls slightly away from me. “Do you regret having me in the bed last night? You know nothing happened, right?”

“I don’t regret a thing, Kaloosh. Just hold me. I need more time to cry before we get up and head back. I have so many more practical strangers to hug and so many more tears to shed.”

He does as I ask, holding me tight in his arms as I turn around to face him. “Anything for you, Aneko.”

His reassurance has me shivering. I remember he was always all about me. It made me uncomfortable, but I had to do it. I had to leave. Had to see more of the world. When I met Jimmy, I thought the world had sent me the perfect man, the one I would get to spend the rest of my life with.

At least I was the woman he spent the rest of his life with. My tears hit the pillow over and over as I let them fall. Every minute I had with him was a blessing, but I have a feeling he knew something was going to happen to him. He told me all the time that if something happened to him, he wanted me to reach back out to Kaloosh.

I didn’t even have to reach out. He’s right here in front of me. Jimmy wouldn’t want me crying all the time over him, yet this is exactly what I’ve been doing. We don’t get long to cuddle before Morina and Jasper come knocking at the door. “You two decent? We have food ready.” There’s a pause followed by, “I know you don’t want to hurt Jimmy, but he would approve of them.”

The crack in her voice has me questioning what happened with her and Jasper last night. This family was all kinds of open, so I know I will hear all about it. A gentle kiss on my forehead pulls me from my thoughts.

“You know she’s waiting for us to say something, right?” Kaloosh says with a short chuckle. “She can’t hear your thoughts as well as I can, you know.”

Giving in to his touch, I sigh. “We will be out. But you can always come in. We fell asleep with our clothes on, Morina.”

She is through the door in a heartbeat as she runs to jump in the bed, putting herself behind me and wrapping her arms around my waist. “You know, I am here for you too. I just needed a break from the tears.”

I watch as a look passes between Jasper and Kaloosh. I can still tell by their expressions what they are saying without words. We got extremely close before I left them behind in Transylvania county. I hated leaving them, but I knew I had to.

I can feel Kaloosh’s heartbeat pick up as he realizes what I realized. Grief got to them. They went further than we did, and Jasper did not spend the night in a random guest room, but rather Morina’s bed. Kaloosh seems perfectly fine with this realization as he pulls me closer to him.

“Let’s go get us some food. You need to eat, even if you don’t feel like it, Aneko.”

“I really do, don’t I?”

Jasper looks confused and Morina giggles. “Oops. I forgot to tell you; Aneko is pregnant. I’m gonna be an auntie.”

Jasper jumps on the bed, pushing Kaloosh out of the way. “That’s great news, Aneko. Are you feeling okay?” I nod and he kisses my cheek. “I can’t believe you are pregnant. I couldn’t tell at all yesterday. How far along are you?”

“I’m only about a month and a half, maybe two months along. I haven’t been to the doctor’s office yet.” I push them all gently off me as I get up. “Speaking of, I need to pee, and maybe puke.”

They all lay in my and Jimmy’s bed, watching me walk away. I let them have the conversation I knew was coming since I saw the look on Morina’s face when she was talking to them.

Sitting on the toilet and peeing feels like it’s taking forever. Luckily, I don’t feel like I need to puke. Still, when I finish peeing, I wash my hands and brush my teeth. Coming out to the attached bedroom, I smile. Jasper is giving Kaloosh a kiss as Morina’s arms wrap around his waist. “Having fun without me?”

Kaloosh smiles as he waves me towards them. “I’m sure you already know, but we aren’t completely gay, obviously. Jasper and I have an agreement. We can sleep with others, as long as we are honest about it.”

“Oh, so what does that have to do with Morina?”

Jasper laughs. “I was comforting her. She enjoyed it a hell of a lot.” His eyes find mine as he adds, “We can comfort you too, whenever you think you are ready.” His eyes find Morina’s. “Morina here tells me she doesn’t think Jimmy would want you mourning him the rest of your life. She thinks you should move on… and bring her with you.”

Morina slaps his arm as she gets up and makes her way to me. “What he’s trying to say is, that he loves you and wants to be here for you, in ways that Jimmy would approve of, and you know it.”

I let her hug me as she has been this whole time, not only since Jimmy left us behind, but since the beginning of this relationship with him. He’s always been the understanding type. I was married to him, loved him and slept with him. But Morina lived with us too. She was a part of our lives, not only as his step-sister, but as my sometimes lover.

This may seem weird, but being that we aren’t related at all, not really, it’s not that weird. Jimmy knew all about it, about my love to feel free to do as I wish, but always come home to him. He was perfect.

The thought has me collapsing into Morina’s arms. I can feel her straining to hold me up, but before we fall to the ground in a puddle of tears, Jasper and Kaloosh are here to rescue us. Each of them grabs one of us and carries us to the bed.

We lay there, huddled in grief and bawling our eyes out. The two of them just hold us, not letting go until we start to get up. “Fuck!”

I can’t bring any other words to the surface as I stand up. I’m angry. I’m sad. I have no way of pushing through the grief, but at least I have a part of him with me. Kaloosh is up with me as he takes my hand. “Let’s get some food in your belly. You are eating for two now.”

I let him lead me down the hall to the kitchen we walked through to get here. When we are seated at the way too big table, he pulls me into his arms. “I’m here for you. Whatever you need, I will give you, without hesitation.”

His voice tells me his words are the whole truth as Morina and Jasper join us in the kitchen, just nodding along to his words. I have so much support. Yet I still don’t have Jimmy.

Morina serves everyone a very amazing breakfast, then drives us all to the funeral home. We need to make the arrangements and get there before anyone else. The place is full of men and women in black suits with sad faces. None of them knew him as well as I did.

Not a single one of these people were close to him. It was just him, Morina, and I. Their parents have long since been gone. The people here are all part of the rich families that have been here for years. All I have left here in Nowhereville, Nebraska is Morina, and she is going wherever I go.

I hold her hand as the ceremony continues. By the time everyone clears out and all the complimentary food is eaten, I am spent. The funeral director leads us out again and Morina drives us home. No, this isn’t home anymore, but it will do for tonight.

This time, Jasper and Morina join us in this big bed that Jimmy and I used to share. Nothing happens, we just sleep, huddled together quietly.

I’ve decided, as soon as the estate settles, we are moving back to Brevard. Back to the county that sounds straight out of a vampire movie. That is my home, not this place.

The feel of the love and support around me has me sleeping soundly before I even realize it. Jimmy comes to me in my dreams, a smile is planted on his face as he tells me to follow my heart. I can feel his sincerity and his presence as he gives me one last night with him, here in this dreamscape.