Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

JANIE

It felt good to stand there and let the water run over my body. I loved my daughter, but babies were messy. When I was finished, I dried off and pulled my hair back in a braid. Pulling his clothes on felt so intimate. I walked into the bedroom to find the bassinet beside the bed. He was sitting on the edge of the bed watching her sleep. It was adorable how enamored he was with her. I walked over and looked down gently running my finger down her chubby little cheek. I never knew you could love anyone this much. I mean, I still loved Owen, but this was so encompassing. I sat down between his legs on the bed and pulled his arms around my waist. I felt him relax and rest his chin on my shoulder.

“I missed you every day. I’m so sorry for running away. It was stupid.” I said as we watched her. It was easier not facing him when I said it. “I never stopped loving you. I was just afraid that if I didn’t try, I would regret it. Now I just regret leaving at all.”

“I’m not going to lie and tell you that it’s okay. It really wasn’t. You ripped my heart out of my chest when I found out you had left without saying goodbye. The last six months have been miserable without you here. That being said, it wasn’t fair to you that I had our whole lives planned out for you. The important thing is that you came back. I got to be there for the birth of our first child and I get to keep you both with me.” He was rubbing my stomach as he said it. “I would have loved to take care of you through your pregnancy, but I’ll be there for the next one. I mean, if you want more kids.”

“I do want at least one more.” I leaned my head back and turned it towards him. Looking in his eyes I kissed him. It was a gentle kiss. It would be at least five and half weeks before we could have sex. I was hoping the doctor would be okay with oral. I definitely knew I could take care of him that way. He gently nudged me to stand up and he pulled back the covers for me.

“Lay down and rest baby, we have plenty of time to talk later. The little pumpkin will be awake wanting her dinner in a few hours.” He kissed me and pulled me close. I could not believe I was back here in his arms and in his bed. He still loved me and wanted me. It was everything I hoped for as I drove home and nothing I deserved. I would be the best girlfriend and mother I could for him. Hopefully he would want me to be his wife someday soon. I dozed off into a fitful sleep. I woke up to whimpers and my shirt wet. Yep, time to feed the baby. I started to get up when Owen handed her to me and kissed me.

“I’ll go fix you some water. You need to replenish your fluids. I also need to feed you more. You need more calories when you’re nursing.” He mumbled to himself. I giggled at him, he must be reading or asking the doctor stuff. When he came back in the room, he had a glass of water along with a plate of cheese and crackers on a tray.

“I’ll feed you while you feed her.” He said as he put a piece of cheese on a cracker and held it to my mouth. I looked at him as I took a bite. It was so intimate having him feed me. Owen had always made me hot and bothered. He had thick auburn hair, a well-trimmed beard and beautiful blue eyes. He worked hard at the mill, and he had the muscles to show for it. I loved that he was large enough to make me feel small. Using a vibrator after I left just didn’t do it for me. He was all that I had ever wanted, and I could kick myself for leaving. I’m lucky he still loves me and wants me. He continued to feed me while I fed her. When I couldn’t eat anymore, I shook my head and smiled at him.

“Thank you, Sugar.” I said in a husky voice. “I needed that. Can you get me a clean diaper, along with the rash cream.”

He handed me a clean shirt to change into and laid a towel out on the bed. Owen took her and changed her himself. I watched stunned as he burped her and then placed her back in the bassinet. He rubbed her back until she was asleep, then took the tray to the kitchen.

“You look so surprised, but both of my uncles are only about ten years older than me, and they have young kids. I have changed the occasional diaper. They use cloth diapers as well because it’s better for the environment and more cost efficient.” He got back into bed and pulled me close so we could get some more sleep. “I’m pretty sure your parents are going to try to make it over here tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I know they are excited to see little bit.” I whispered as I curled up to him and let myself drift off to sleep.