27.Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Bonnie

“I’m going to be honest with you both.” Ethan, my new publicist, settles in the chair that will be occupied by our interviewer in a few minutes. He looks between Derek and me, his expression hard but not in a cold way. It’s obvious he’s going to do his best to make sure things don’t get worse. “Fran made a mess of things, and it’s not going to be easy to clean it up.”

I resist the urge to sigh dramatically. When Derek called Ethan this morning and asked if he would meet with us before our interview, I had high hopes for things turning around. Ethan talked to us for a few minutes when he arrived, getting the full scope of the situation, and then he was on the phone while we went through makeup and wardrobe. I’m not loving the fact that he already looks tired .

“Did last night do anything to help?” I ask, practically holding my breath as I wait for his response.

Ethan offers me a small smile. “I think so, but it’s hard to say anything for sure until Hot Scoop posts another story. If the two of you are okay with it, I’m going to record some of this interview and post it to socials. There’s no question that Jimmy is going to ask you about your relationship with Hank, so I want you to be as honest as you can be without mentioning the origins of the relationship.”

I frown. “But I already told the world that it was fake.”

Though his mouth tightens, Ethan keeps his expression fairly soft. “I know. But I think from this point onward, it will be better to keep the attention on the relationship as it is now. Not how it started. We want to control what we can.”

That makes sense, even if I don’t like hiding the truth more than I already have.

I must be broadcasting my thoughts all over my face because Derek takes hold of my hand and squeezes. “I think he’s right, Bon. And Hank said himself that it was always real on his end. Maybe it was Fran’s idea to push the two of you together, but I don’t think it was ever fake. Not even for you.”

Warmth spreads through me as I think about waking up in Hank’s arms this morning. Like at the hotel, Hank let me come into his room and sleep next to him even though I’ve never had a hard time sleeping at Derek’s house. There’s something so calming about being in his embrace, like listening to his heartbeat keeps all my fears at bay. When I’m with Hank, I don’t worry about being ignored or forgotten. I don’t worry about being passed over.

I would choose you . Every. Single. Day. His words have been on repeat since last night in the limo.

“If I could,” Ethan says, pulling my attention back to him, “I would like to talk to Hank as well. Not only will his actions—good or bad— affect you, Bonnie, but I get the sense that he could use someone on his team.”

Nodding, I grab my phone from where it’s tucked under my leg and shoot a quick text to Hank. He’s hanging out with Liam and Cole this morning, but I’m hoping he’s near his phone. “He’s a very private person,” I tell Ethan, “so I want to make sure he’s okay with you having his number before I give it to you.” I made that mistake once by giving it to Derek and the rest of my friends, and I don’t want to betray Hank’s trust again.

He answers quickly, and I can’t stop the grin that spreads across my face.

Hank:

Give my number to anyone who will help you, Bonnie. I don’t care.

Bonnie:

I find that hard to believe.

Hank:

Then I haven’t done my job well enough.

Bonnie:

Am I a job to you?

Hank:

You are everything.

I snort a laugh that is half amusement and half to try to cover up the wild blush that fills my face with heat. As cheesy as that line was, I feel it in my core. “Here’s his number,” I tell Ethan, sending him Hank’s contact card.

“Thanks.” Ethan’s smile looks a lot more natural now. I’ve only interacted with him a little before now, and usually when Liam is in some sort of trouble, so it’s nice to know he isn’t uptight like Fran was. “You look happy, Bonnie.”

Letting out a sigh of contentment, I nod. “ Hank makes me happy.”

“That’s what the world should know.” Still smiling, he turns to Derek. “Derek, do you need any direction for this interview? I’m hoping Jimmy sticks to talking about the movie, but any reporter worth his salt is going to follow public interest. He’s likely going to talk about the breakup.”

Derek looks at me for a second before shaking his head. “I’ve got it covered.”

We get ten minutes into the interview before Jimmy shifts the conversation to our dating lives. “I have to ask,” he says, looking between us. “Has the breakup made the job difficult for you two?”

I meet Derek’s gaze, reading his thoughts in his eyes, and I nod once. I’m happy to let him take this one, especially because Ethan is standing behind Jimmy’s chair with his phone trained on us.

“Honestly,” Derek says, still looking at me, “Bonnie and I came to the natural conclusion that we’re better as friends. That’s how things started, and that’s how they’re going to stay. I hold Bonnie near to my heart and wish her the best in everything she does, just as I do all my friends.”

Jimmy looks at me, but it almost seems like his next question isn’t the one he planned to ask. His words come out more hesitant than he’s been so far. “How are you doing with all of this attention on your love life?”

My eyebrows shoot up at the same time Ethan’s do. That’s not the kind of question I was expecting. I take a second to sort through my thoughts and then smile. Might as well say the truth. “I picked a life that will never truly be private, but I think part of the reason I like Henry as much as I do is because he doesn’t expect me to be anything but who I am. He lets me be real and doesn’t judge my quirks and insecurities. It’s hard to let myself feel human sometimes, but not when I’m with Henry. He makes everything easier, you know?”

Jimmy nods, giving me a smile, and then he turns the conversation back to our movie.

By the time the interview wraps up, I’m feeling even more at ease than I was before. I didn’t think that was possible. But it feels like no matter what Hot Scoop might say about my relationship with Hank, it won’t change my opinion of him. He is good for me, and I want to make things work between us.

I think I finally understand why Kasey and Liam don’t care what the tabloids say about them. They love each other too much to let anything get between them.

“I’m going to try to get a peek at what Hot Scoop might say about Hank’s story,” Ethan says as we head for the car. “They’re not all that fond of me after the Liam stuff last fall, but I have a few contacts who have been trying to get close to the site.”

“You’re setting up spies?” Derek asks with a chuckle.

Ethan shrugs. “They’ve clearly got them. Why shouldn’t we? You guys deserve to live your lives without having to watch your every move.”

I pull him into a hug, ignoring the way he goes stiff as soon as I touch him. I’m hoping he’s just surprised and not against hugs because I have a feeling I’m going to want to hug this man a lot in the future. He’s a million times better than Fran. “Thank you.”

He splutters something about it being his job, his face growing red, and then he heads for the parking lot.

Derek and I climb into the waiting SUV, and though we don’t say anything during the drive to Malibu, I’m pretty sure we’re both feeling the relief of being able to breathe again.

Cole looks miserable. He’s sitting on Derek’s back porch with a book, but I don’t think he’s actually seeing what he’s reading because his gaze is distant.

In the chair beside him, Hank is writing in his notebook, but he looks up as soon as I step through the back door. The smile that spreads across his face feels like it warms up all of California. “How did it go?” he asks, and the sound of his voice rouses Cole from whatever thoughts he was lost in, pulling his eyes up from his book.

Though my heart reaches out to Cole, filling me with a need to talk to him and see how much he’s hurting, I’ve missed Hank in the hours I’ve been away this morning, and I can’t ignore the draw of his smile. As he sets his notebook on the armrest of his chair, I slide onto his lap and greet him with an eager kiss. Reluctantly, I keep it mostly tame despite the sparks of attraction that build as my lips explore his.

Pulling away and chuckling at the soft groan of protest that comes from Hank’s throat, I press my palm to his cheek and smile. “I think it went really well, and Ethan is going to try to soften things with Hot Scoop . Did he call you?”

He nods. “I like him so much more than Fran.”

“Me too. Where’s Liam?”

“He decided we were boring and he would rather hang out with Kasey.”

Sounds right. If he doesn’t put a ring on her finger soon, I’m going to question his sanity. “How were things here?”

Hank glances at Cole, whose dark eyes stare back at him. “Fine.” There’s a lot of weight to that word, which almost comes out as a question, and I can’t help but turn to Cole with a raised eyebrow.

He groans and rolls his eyes. “I shouted at your boyfriend. I’ve already apologized.”

A surge of protectiveness rises in my chest. Tucking my arm around Hank, I curl up close to him as if that might protect him from Cole’s grumpiness. “Why did you shout at Hank?”

Hank snickers. “I deserved it.”

“I highly doubt that. ”

“I told him I know how he feels, even though it’s not true.”

My arms reflexively tighten around him even more, and I glare at Cole. “His wife was murdered ,” I say sharply.

“I know that.” At least Cole looks chagrined as he drops his gaze to the cement, but I can almost feel his anger still simmering under the surface as he clenches his jaw tight. He’s not usually an angry person, so it’s weird to see him like this.

Hank presses a kiss to my forehead. “I shouldn’t have said what I did,” he says quietly. “I knew Shelby loved me up until the end. I don’t know how it feels to have someone choose to leave.”

“Oh.” I relax. “I guess I hadn’t thought of it that way.”

Sighing heavily, Cole runs a hand through his dark hair and shakes his head. “I still shouldn’t have yelled at him,” he mutters, still looking at the patio floor. “It’s just…” He’s tense, muscles flexing with every stiff movement and making him look panther-like. But a panther in a cage. For most of the time I’ve known him, Cole has always been calm and relaxed outside of his games. His breakup really did a number on him, and I’ve hated watching him get all twisted up until he’s almost unrecognizable.

“Derek said something about Sage dating one of your old teammates,” I say softly. I don’t want to reopen the wounds, but I need to know that Cole is going to be okay. That my friend is still in there somewhere. Something needs to snap him out of this funk.

He nods slowly. “Not just a teammate. He was my best friend before I left the team.”

I wince. Yikes . No wonder he’s tense. “Oh, Cole, I’m—”

“I don’t need your pity, Bonnie.” Getting to his feet, he looks at the two of us snuggled in our chair and sighs. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so eager to get close to Hank when I know Cole is still struggling with his breakup, but it’s too late now. “I’ll be fine. Eventually. Once I stop feeling like she’s dating Javi to get back at me somehow. Don’t let me darken your day.”

“Cole!” I shout before he can take more than a couple of steps toward the door. When he looks back at me, I give him a sad smile. “If you ever need to talk, I’m here.”

He matches my expression. “I know. Thanks, Bon.” His eyes flit to Hank, and his smile shifts into something warmer. Closer to the smile I’m used to, complete with a bit of mischief. “Don’t think I won’t do more than yell at you if you hurt her, McAllister.”

I gasp as Hank chuckles beneath me. “Did you just threaten my boyfriend?”

Cole folds his massive rugby arms. “Maybe.”

“Wow.”

It’s such a brotherly gesture that tears well up in my eyes. Derek has always defended me, but I never realized how much Liam and Cole have always had my back just as much. They are far more than friends, and my fears that they might leave me behind were clearly ridiculous.

We’re family. That’s never going to change.

“Please don’t leave,” I tell Cole. Though he showed some life just now, I don’t think he should be alone today, even if he wants to be. I wish Freya were here; she can usually get him to relax when no one else can. But I’ll do my best to fill in for her while she helps run her country.

Though I can see his reluctance competing with his natural inclination to please the people he cares about, Cole nods and heads back inside. Hopefully to go find Derek, who has several scripts to run through today but will give Cole his full attention without hesitation. They’ve been friends long enough that Derek would do anything for Cole.

Once Hank and I are alone, I let myself fully relax into his hold and breathe in his clean scent. “I missed you.” It sounds crazy, given how short a time we’ve been apart, but I’ve gotten too used to having him around so entirely .

His fingers trace a path along my arm, his touch featherlight. “I missed you too.”

I smile into his neck and close my eyes. “Are you sure you’re okay after Cole yelled at you? And threatened you?”

He chuckles. “The threat is to be expected. And I yelled at plenty of people in my day. Heartbreak has a strong hold, even when you wish it didn’t.”

“I hope I never have to experience that.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I tense up and stop breathing. I basically just said that I never want to break up with Hank because there is no doubt in my mind that I would be heartbroken if I did.

Hank is quiet for a long moment, his hand still stroking my arm. When he speaks, his voice is soft. Tentative. “What does your dream life look like, Bonnie?”

It would be so easy to lie and tell him that I’m living it. I’m filming a movie adapted from my favorite book. I have the most amazing friends who help me be true to myself. I am dating a man who makes me feel wanted and treasured. But my dream life?

“I don’t know,” I say after a long moment. “My dreams have always been changing. When I was a little girl, I wanted my parents to treat me like I was more than an obligation or an afterthought. When I got older and realized that was never going to happen, I found a career that would help me be remembered because I was so afraid of being forgotten. After I met Derek and his friends, that was less of a fear, and I wanted to be valued for more than my looks. I wanted to prove that I was talented and skilled. I think I’m getting there.”

Hank tucks my hair behind my ear. “And now? What is your next dream?”

How do I even put it into words? I lift my head up so I can look at him. “Do you remember what you asked me at the airport? And the meadow? And even on set before that? ”

Though his eyebrows pull low, he nods. “I asked if you were tired of letting everyone else tell you how to live.”

“I am so tired.” I hate that my eyes fill with tears, but it feels like the world is suddenly weighing down on me as I really let myself think about his question. What do I actually want in life? “When I was a kid, no one told me what to do, and it was so lonely. When I got hired for my first movie, there was always someone telling me where to go and what to do, and all I felt was relief. I leaned so heavily into that that I think I went too far in that direction and gave up any autonomy I had. And now I don’t…”

I take a deep breath, terrified of the words that want to spill out of me. “I don’t even know what I want for myself, Hank, and I still rely so much on other people.” Panic fills my chest, hot and heavy, as my thoughts start to spiral. “But I want you! I know that. You are the only thing in my life that is certain, and as terrified as I am of losing you, more than anything I want you to be happy. I don’t want you to feel as helpless as I’ve felt for so long. So if you don’t want to deal with this ridiculous public life I’ve been thrown into, then I’ll—”

Pressing his hand to my cheek, Hank catches my mouth in a fervent kiss that not only silences my words but also the fears that spiked while I was rambling. His thumb rubs my cheek, his other hand wraps around my waist, and he kisses me like a man who knows exactly what he wants.

“I told you,” he whispers against my mouth. “I will always choose you.”

I believe him. And while there are so many things about my life that are still unknown, especially when it comes to how it will look in the future, I know for sure that Hank McAllister is the one choice I will never regret.