25.Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Five

Hank

Bonnie lied to me. Less than forty-five minutes after she promised not to leave my side, she abandoned me to take Kasey into a dress boutique, and now I’m stuck standing with my arms out wide while a man with a head of neon blue hair measures every inch of me. Every. Inch.

Liam seems to find my discomfort amusing, and Derek is too busy on his phone to notice how often I look toward the door and my line of escape. Bonnie once thought I didn’t like to be touched, and at the time I thought she was wrong. As a tape measure passes between my legs, I’m rethinking that stance.

“I take it you’ve never been fitted for a suit,” Liam says, laughter in his voice as he watches from a chair.

I clench my jaw and shake my head.

“What did you wear when you got married?”

“Whatever I found on the rack that fit,” I grumble.

The blue-haired man gasps and says something in French. I have no idea what he says, but I hear his offense clear as day.

Derek glances up and replies to the man in French, prompting rapid back-and-forth that is full of amusement on Derek’s side and frustration on Blue’s. Which is definitely not the tailor’s name, but that’s what I’m calling him in my head.

I look at Liam, my eyebrows low. “He speaks French?” I know Derek can hear me, but my capacity for social niceties pretty much dropped to zero when Blue ran a hand down my rear end. I don’t even know what he might have been measuring at that point.

Liam smirks. “Honestly, I don’t think there’s anything Derek can’t do.”

“I don’t know carpentry,” Derek mutters, returning to his phone.

I genuinely don’t know if that was a joke or a true statement of the one skill he doesn’t have, and I’m too intimidated to ask.

“Jean-Paul will make you look like you belong at Bonnie’s side,” Liam says. “Just for tonight, and then you can go back to your professor look. People seem to love that.”

Jean-Paul’s continued muttering makes it clear that he is not to be counted among “people.” He shuffles toward a velvet curtain that leads into another room, making notes on his tablet as he goes.

I immediately sink onto a chair between Liam and Derek. “I don’t even want to think about how much this is going to cost.”

Liam scoffs. “Oh, we’ve got you covered.”

“No, I…” I cringe. “I can afford it. I’m a New York Times bestselling author, so…” I usually hate bringing up my wealth—with nowhere to go and my house paid for, it has been collecting exponentially for the last two years—but I feel so out of place next to these two men. Especially Derek. Liam, at least, could pass as any guy on the street in his t-shirt and jeans, but everything about Derek screams wealth and privilege. And influence . He has the look of someone who knows he can get anything he wants in life, so it’s a good thing he’s not a terrible human.

“It just seems superfluous,” I finish, dropping my elbows onto my knees. Today has been exhausting, and it’s nowhere near over. I am going to do everything I can to fix things for Bonnie and show her that we can be good together, but I’m desperate for the night to be a short one.

Liam puts his arm around my shoulders. “Can I be honest with you, Hank?”

“I’m afraid to say yes.”

Derek chuckles, still focused on his phone.

Liam takes my comment as agreement and plows forward. “You are not at all what I pictured for Bonnie.”

I swallow. “This is exactly why I was afraid.”

“No, I mean that as a good thing!”

“Then keep talking, Connolly,” Derek says, shaking his head. He’s smiling, so he must think Liam has a valid point to make.

Liam huffs a sigh of frustration, but I have yet to see him anything but happy. “See, the kind of guy I imagined Bonnie would be with was more like Derek.”

My heart sinks, and it feels like the weight of it pulls the rest of me down with it. “Oh.”

“You’re making it worse,” Derek warns.

Liam groans. “I didn’t mean like… Okay. Trying again. Since I’ve known Bonnie, she’s never been the kind of person to get attached romantically, so I could never picture her perfect partner. I just had her past relationships as examples, and they were all the kinds of guys who are used to getting their way. So I thought that was what Bonnie wanted.”

Feeling nauseous, I lean forward and look at Derek. “Are you hearing anything positive in this?”

Derek smirks. “Give him a second. He’ll get there eventually. ”

“Yeah,” Liam agrees. “What I’m saying is you are so different from all those guys, my man Derek included, that I think you’re the one who just might stick. Bonnie has seemed so different today in the best way. I think she needs someone like you to help her feel confident.”

She needs someone like me.

“She needs someone who wasn’t picked for her, you know?” Liam adds.

“I don’t think she’s ever felt like she’s been someone’s first choice,” I say quietly. I don’t even know if that’s true, but saying it out loud to the people who know her best might help me prove Liam’s theory true. I want Bonnie to need me. I want her to know that no matter what, I will be there for her. That I’ll choose her.

“She wasn’t the first choice for Gabrielle,” Derek says after a moment.

Liam frowns. “What? She never said that.”

Shrugging, Derek slips his phone into his pocket. “They signed a more experienced actor first, but she found out she was pregnant and decided to drop out, so they went with Bonnie instead. And I don’t think the director kept his disappointment a secret.”

Liam swears under his breath. “That sucks.”

If I am ever around Beckett again, I’m going to have a hard time resisting the urge to punch the director in the nose. “But she’s perfect for Gabrielle,” I growl.

“She’s also way better than most of the actors I know,” Derek says, “but Hollywood has never been kind to women. They see what they want to see.”

“And Bonnie is beautiful,” Liam adds. He laughs when I raise an eyebrow at him, holding up his hands in surrender. “Easy, Prof. My heart is happily promised to Kasey. I just mean there are a lot of people who are too stupid to look past her face and see the talent underneath.”

Now I understand why she had to get my help in convincing Beckett to rework the script. If he wasn’t happy about her being there in the first place, he probably hated her trying to mess with his movie. But it’s going to do so much better with Bonnie’s input.

“I can’t decide if I want the movie to flop to spite the director or if I want it to blow expectations out of the water for Bonnie’s sake,” I mumble right as Jean-Paul returns with three suits in tow, though I have no idea how he could have them so quickly. Apparently he already had measurements for Derek and Liam, so they get to skip the poking and prodding I had to endure. I don’t even want to imagine how many suits these two men already own, and yet they’re perfectly happy to be buying another.

They live in a different world from me, and I can’t help but think about how poorly I fit within it. Within Bonnie’s world.

“Sounds like the girls have found their weapons for the night and are heading to a salon, but they shouldn’t be long,” Liam says after checking his phone. “So, gentlemen, are we ready for our night on the town?” He looks right at me, his eyebrows high in expectation.

My anxiety rises, but I nod. For Bonnie, I’ll do just about anything. Even if I still don’t know how we’re going to make this work, I want to try. That alone is a miracle unto itself, and I’m not about to throw it away.

When Liam said we were going fancy, I didn’t realize we would be taking a limo to the restaurant. It feels…excessive. But after reluctantly agreeing to hit up a barber, who was as exasperated by the state of my self-cut hair as Jean-Paul was by my lack of fashion, I have no energy left to argue against anything that may or may not happen tonight.

I just want to be next to Bonnie. Beyond that, I don’t really care .

The limo pulls up outside the salon, and I step out first. I might be a little desperate for a moment away from Liam, who seems like a good man but is excessively cheerful and chatty. Though I like him, I stand by my assessment of Liam being “a lot.”

I’ll take his texts over his non-stop conversation.

As I lean against the side of the limo and take in a deep breath of city air, a pang of homesickness hits me harder than I expect. Outside of vacations, I spent my whole life in Denver up until Shelby’s death, but I got used to the mountain air over the last few years. Used to the stillness of my empty lane. Bonnie’s life is probably never still.

I press a hand to my heart, hoping to calm the anxiety that hasn’t gone away all day.

We can make this work. Somehow.

Derek climbs out of the limo, shutting Liam inside as he comes to stand next to me. His bodyguard also joins us, standing a few feet away, but I’m okay with that. As soon as Derek showed his face, people started to take notice, pointing our way and pulling out their phones.

“I suggest smiling,” Derek says calmly. He has an easy, content expression on his face as he leans against the car. It’s not a full smile, but it’s enough to show anyone who’s looking that he’s in a good mood.

I do my best to match him. “Thank you. For all of this.”

He shrugs. “Bonnie is one of my best friends,” he says, as if that explains everything. It does to a point, but there’s still an unanswered question hanging between us.

He said he was heartbroken because he thought he was holding her back, but I have to know. “Was she ever more than a friend?”

Derek looks at me, his eyebrows lifting ever so slightly. It’s such a subtle expression, not something any of the passersby might notice, but I have a feeling he wants me to know what he’s feeling. At least some of it. “Honestly?” He lets out a breath. “I don’t know. I knew what she wanted—or rather what she didn’t want—so I never let myself entertain the idea.”

“But if you had?”

“She’s Bonnie Aiken.” He chuckles, tapping his heel against the tire of the limo. “I would have fallen in love with her in a heartbeat if I’d let myself.”

That shouldn’t make me feel better, but it does. A little. “Well,” I say with a casualness I don’t feel, “I’m glad you never let yourself.”

Derek’s chuckle becomes a full-blown laugh. “You’re good for her, Hank. I hope it all works out.”

The growing crowd around us starts buzzing with energy and conversation, and at first I think it’s because Liam just slipped out of the limo. But then movement catches my eye, and I look toward the entrance to the salon right as Bonnie and Kasey, flanked by Eli, make their way toward us.

My jaw drops.

I won’t lie; I didn’t think I could be more attracted to Bonnie than I was at Houston’s wedding. But as she glides toward me in a navy-blue dress that hugs her thighs, my mouth goes dry. My fingers turn numb. My heart tries to pound out of my chest. I’m vaguely aware of Liam sweeping Kasey into his arms and giving her an unabashed kiss, but my whole focus is on Bonnie.

I force myself the last few steps forward, still taking in the pure elegance of her gown. The collar is high on this one, and I’m disappointed about that. But then she gets close enough that I can pull her into my arms, and my hands find bare skin at her back. There goes the numbness, replaced by vivid sensation in each of my nerve endings as her smooth skin spreads heat from my fingers to my toes.

My anxiety is gone, replaced by pure attraction.

Bonnie grips the lapels of my suit, her cheeks pink and her smile wide. “I thought you might like this one,” she whispers as a shiver runs through her from my touch. I don’t know if she’s cold or if it’s a shiver of pleasure, but I can’t bring myself to let go. “And look at you! All fancy.”

I reply to her comment with a kiss, one without inhibition because it’s all gone now. I don’t even care that two dozen people are crowded around us and watching without shame. I am almost desperate to show this woman how much I want to be a part of her life, and not just because she’s more beautiful than anyone I know. She has an internal beauty that is so much brighter than the outer, and I wish the world could see that part of her.

I wish the world knew the woman I’m coming to love.

Derek clears his throat, breaking us apart, and I have to fight the glare I want to throw at him. He looks like he might start laughing as he nods toward his bodyguard, who holds the door of the limo open. “We do have a reservation to get to,” he reminds us.

Bonnie wipes lipstick from my mouth with a tissue she pulled from her clutch, laughter in her eyes. “Let’s have fun tonight,” she whispers.

I nod, though right now I’m thinking ‘fun’ should involve more kisses like the one we just shared. Why in the world was I so resistant to taking that step in our relationship? Each kiss has been better than the last. “Just how long will I be required to share you with your friends tonight?” I ask quietly as we make our way to the limo. Derek slips inside, leaving the two of us alone for a moment. “I am willing to do whatever will help you the most tonight, but Derek has a bad habit of interrupting us just when things are getting good. I’m pretty sure we were well on our way to selling this relationship.”

Bonnie’s eyes sparkle as she laughs and presses her hands to my cheeks. “Where is this coming from?” she asks. “When I met you, it seemed everything I did terrified you. What changed?”

I know we’re still being watched, and that should be enough to send me into a panic. But with Bonnie right in front of me, she’s the only thing I can see. Apparently I didn’t need to shut myself off from the world. I just needed someone who could shut the world out for me. “ I changed,” I whisper. “Because of you. That first time we met, when you hugged me, something inside me healed. You brought me back to life, Bonnie.”

Though tears glisten in her eyes, Bonnie is nothing but smiles as she leans up and kisses me again. Based on their cheers, the crowd around us seems to appreciate our inability to stay away from each other, and who am I to deny them?

The limo window rolls down, and it’s Liam this time who clears his throat. “Okay, lovebirds,” he says through laughter. “I’m glad you like each other, but I’m starving. If you make us miss this reservation, so help me…”

“You’ll what?” Bonnie asks, still clinging to me. “Honestly, it’s a miracle we got you out of the house in the first place, Liam Connolly.”

Kasey pokes her head out as well. She’s pretty much on top of Liam as she leans on his shoulders. “It’s not his fault he likes me more than he likes all of you. He’s going on tour soon, and I refuse to waste any of the time I get with him before he goes.”

From the little I know about Kasey, she’s still fairly new to this famous life, but she doesn’t seem to mind the way the crowd whispers and giggles about what she said. I can almost imagine the sorts of things Hollywood Hot Scoop might say about her, but she and Liam really do seem to have freed themselves from the tabloids’ hold. They’re living their lives how they want to and clearly thriving.

I look at Bonnie, who grins and sticks her tongue out at Kasey, and I wonder if we could do that. If there is some way for us to get out from under the scrutiny of the internet and simply live our lives the way we want to. I’m not one hundred percent sure what that would look like for Bonnie, and my own ideals have been shifting since the day I met her .

I don’t know how long I can last if everything I do is dictated by someone’s twisted idea of news. I don’t know how long Bonnie can last. But I know we can figure this out together.

“Chop chop!” Liam says, rolling the window back up.

Bonnie sighs. “I guess we should go.”

“If we have to.” But I kiss her again, to show her just how reluctant I am to share her attention.