17.Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen

Hank

“Okay, but if you can figure out how to force them to take down the picture, you can probably figure out who’s behind the site, right?” Houston is pacing in front of his brother, an almost murderous look in his eyes. “You couldn’t have forced them to take down the article entirely?”

Chad sighs, settling deeper into his armchair as he watches Houston wear a hole in the rug. Little Mo is sound asleep in Chad’s arms. “I did what I could, Texas. I’m lucky I got them to agree to take down the photo that had my infant daughter’s face.”

The men of the wedding party have taken up residence in a sort of lounge in the hotel, and though I was tempted to ignore the invitation to join them, coming here was probably better than holing up in my hotel suite and pretending I was fine letting Bonnie go off with the women. It’s not that I think she’ll be in any danger, and Chad’s family are all good people so they’ll treat Bonnie well.

But a Hot Scoop article just dropped, and it wasn’t great. I have no idea if Bonnie has seen it or if she’s too busy enjoying the hotel spa, but I can’t imagine how she might feel about what the article said.

I’m not sure how I feel. I have Liam to thank for knowing about the article—he texted me the link as soon as it appeared—and there are so many things about this one that have hit me harder than the others.

“Houston, you have to stop pacing,” Jordan complains. “You’re making me dizzy. I know that article sounded bad, but it could have been a lot worse. Everything will be fine.”

Houston turns his sharp gaze to me. “ You’re awfully calm about this whole thing.”

I’m not, but I’m doing my best to keep the panic out of my expression. It’s as much the implications of the article as it is the realization that some of it might not be as inaccurate as previous articles have been. Obviously not the fighting Houston part, but… I haven’t specifically thought about starting a family with Bonnie, but I do know my thoughts and feelings are heading in that direction. Slowly, but still.

My baby steps toward healing have been picking up speed at an alarming rate.

This article’s insinuation that Bonnie and I are in this thing deep enough to be thinking about children is making me dizzy, and it is taking everything in me not to let my thoughts stray there. I’m still getting to the affection part of this relationship. It’s dangerous to let my mind wander beyond that.

I look at Chad. “Did you get any useful information about Hot Scoop ?”

Grimacing, he shakes his head. “I’m genuinely impressed by how well they keep their identities hidden. I guarantee it’s multiple people, and they’re not afraid to use any resource they can get their hands on. ”

“ Hot Scoop has been a thorn in the sides of anyone of moderate fame in California and beyond,” Jordan adds. “The PR firm I worked for is one of the best in the country, but even they couldn’t get any leverage on the site.”

That doesn’t help my anxiety on the subject, but it’s not anything I didn’t expect. “I hope Bonnie is handling this one okay,” I say quietly. “It was overall positive, but this goes beyond most invasions of privacy I’ve seen.”

Jordan snorts. “You should get out more. I got to deal with Liam’s bare butt making an appearance all over the internet, and that seems worse.”

“From the little I know about Liam Connolly,” Kit throws in, “I think he might disagree.” Apparently Kit is married to one of Houston’s many step-siblings, and when Kit showed up at the hotel right as we were heading to the lounge, Houston nearly tackled him with excitement. His happiness was short-lived because Liam sent me the Hot Scoop article only a few minutes later.

I look at Houston, watching him as he sinks into a chair. “You know Bonnie better than I do,” I say slowly. While that may be true, it doesn’t mean I like it. How can I get her to trust me the way she trusted Houston? She must have trusted him, considering their relationship was the only real one she’s had. “How do you think she’s handling this? What about Darcy?”

He shrugs and runs a hand through his hair, leaning his head against the back of his chair. I know this isn’t how he planned to spend his bachelor party, but I’m glad to know he’s a good enough human to worry about the effect of this article. “I’m sure Darcy is fine. She’s stronger than anyone I know and is probably laughing about all of this. As for Bonnie…”

He sighs heavily. “She’s never been the kind of person to see that sort of future with anyone. It’s why dating her was so easy, because I wasn’t that kind of person either at the time. I honestly haven’t talked to her much since we broke up, just a message here and there, but I’ve never seen her look at…” His eyes jump to me. “She’s never looked at anyone like she looked at you in that photo. This one might be closer to the truth than she’d like.”

Our relationship isn’t real . If there’s anyone I can tell, it’s this group. But the words stick in my throat. I’m not sure if it’s because I don’t want to break Bonnie’s confidence or be in breach of contract, or if it’s because those words are starting to feel less true. At least on my end, the feelings that bubble up inside me whenever I see her aren’t fake.

I was actually looking forward to this weekend, in part so I could see Chad and Hope—and their three kids—but mostly because I eagerly left my house every day to spend whatever time with Bonnie that I could. It became less of an obligation and more of a need to be around her and learn more about who she is. She might not be willing to give me a full view of the woman she is beneath the surface, but I’ve been catching glimpses and hanging on her every word, no matter how insignificant.

And even now, after only an hour or so apart from her, I miss her. In a way I’ve only ever missed one person before.

“Hank?” Chad’s voice is soft, but there is an unmistakable question in the way he says my name. He’s wondering if I’m okay.

I meet his gaze and furrow my brow. It’s like he can read my thoughts. “How did you know?”

He smiles, clearly understanding my vague question. “I think that’s a question you should be asking yourself, Hank. You’ve been through this before.”

Though the others look at me in curiosity, I ignore them. Chad’s right, and this isn’t the first time I’ve started to feel something stronger than simple interest. But everything with Shelby was easy. She was unafraid of love, which meant she fell hard and fast, even if I still don’t know why she picked me. And she was so easy to love in return because she made me feel safe. Wanted. Needed .

With the fame that surrounds Bonnie and her life, it’s hard to feel safe. Things like speculation on whether or not she wants a baby—my baby—are going to follow her as long as she continues to pursue her career path. And it’s impossible to know if she’ll ever want me because this relationship is, as far as I know, far from real. And needed? This woman is so hell-bent on helping everyone around her that she makes anyone else feel superfluous, not to mention her wealth, personal security, influential friends…

What could she possibly need from me outside of being a piece of arm candy?

“Houston,” Kit says, rolling his eyes, “seriously, you need to relax or Darcy is going to kill us when you show up at your wedding tomorrow looking like death warmed over.”

Houston scoffs. “But—”

“I genuinely think Bonnie will be fine,” Jordan says, “and that article is way better than anything they could have said if they got a photo of the way Hank was glaring at you when he and Bonnie first arrived.”

I choke. “The way I what?”

“Yeah,” Fischer says, speaking up for the first time. He’s been a quiet observer of all of this so far, which seems to be his way. “They could have had all sorts of fun with something like that.”

“Why were you glaring at me?” Houston looks like I just told him I enjoy drowning puppies. “We don’t even know each other.”

I don’t have an answer, so Chad replies for me. “Because you and Bonnie were all sorts of cozy. The article had it right about that.”

Houston huffs another short laugh, looking at everyone as if he might get more of an explanation. Does he really not know how their reunion looked? “That’s just how Bonnie is,” he says, clearly on the defensive. He turns to me. “I mean, you know.”

I don’t know. Not really. She hugged me when we first met, but there’s a difference between hugging your favorite author and launching yourself at an ex. I don’t want to antagonize the man the night before his wedding, but I do need to set some boundaries. As much for his bride’s sake as for Bonnie’s.

“Her public image is all over the map right now,” I say, my voice soft but with an edge I can’t avoid. “And the internet would love to turn this weekend into a scandal if they get the chance. It would be best for everyone if you and Bonnie keep your distance from each other, no matter how friendly you both are.”

“But Bonnie needs—”

“I’ve got Bonnie.” A sudden rush of nerves from knowing just how big tomorrow’s ceremony will be floods through me, but I fight down the anxiety. I’m going to have to get over my well-developed fear of crowds if I’m going to be of any use to Bonnie. I force a smile and stand. “All you need to worry about tomorrow is marrying the love of your life.”

Houston doesn’t reply, and though there’s still an undercurrent of worry in his eyes, the moment I mention Darcy, he seems to relax.

I nod toward the other men. “I’m going to turn in. Thanks for letting me join for a bit, and don’t have too much fun tonight.”

Chad’s chuckle follows me out the door and into the hallway.

For being a fully booked hotel, it’s surprisingly quiet, and I debate going back to my room or exploring a bit. The last time I stayed in a place this nice was on my honeymoon, and the only reason we could afford it was because Shelby’s parents footed the bill. They thought twenty-one was too young for her to get married but were supportive all the same and wanted us to enjoy ourselves.

Still standing in the hallway, I pull my phone out of my pocket and frown at it. I haven’t talked to them since the funeral, thinking it was easier to keep my distance. But they lost their only daughter when Shelby died. Maybe we could have been helping each other through it. I still remember her father’s phone number, and it would be easy to send a text. Check in .

I don’t know how long I stand there and debate with myself, but I am more than grateful when Bonnie’s voice cuts through my back-and-forth and gives me an excuse to chicken out. “Oh, Hank! I didn’t expect to see you until later.”

My whole body relaxes at the sight of her, which is a new sensation I could get used to. She’s always so happy and sweet, brightening every room she’s in. Whether or not she might feel the same way I’m beginning to, I’m glad to have her in my life for now.

“Hey.” I almost roll my eyes at the single word that comes out of my mouth. “I thought you’d still be at the spa with the girls.”

Particularly because she’s wearing a fluffy white bathrobe and fuzzy slippers, her dark hair pulled back into a braid and her face devoid of makeup.

She’s beautiful.

Bonnie smiles and steps closer. “Fran called me and told me about the new Hot Scoop article.”

Though she doesn’t look upset or worried, I take her hand anyway. Just in case. “You okay?”

She nods. “It could have been a lot worse, and Fran is thrilled that it’s so positive. Are you okay? There was a lot of talk about you in this one.”

“If it helps you, then I’m fine with it.”

Red colors her cheek, brighter than I’ve ever seen it, and her eyes slip down to our clasped hands. “I’m sorry for abandoning you earlier. It’s been so long since I last saw Houston, and I wasn’t thinking.”

Is she worried about my feelings or worried that she could have damaged our pretend relationship? I can’t decide, and I’m not about to ask. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter.

I feel that lie deep in my belly. It matters more than I want it to. “I was heading back to my suite to try to get some writing done,” I say to change the subject. “I finally made some headway over the last few days. ”

“Can…” Bonnie bites her lip and looks around the empty corridor, turning an even deeper shade of red. “Can I join you? I have a couple of scripts my agent wants me to look over before I get to LA, so I won’t bother you or anything, but I don’t want to be…”

“Alone?” I finish for her. “Me neither, which is a strange sensation.”

She grins. “Want to come hang out in my suite with me?”

I’m not sure how well I’ll be able to focus on Gabrielle’s story when the living embodiment of her is sitting next to me, but I don’t think I could ever force Bonnie to be on her own. Anyone she might spend time with tonight is at the spa. Besides, I would be a fool to waste a chance to get to know her better, even if it is simply by watching her read a script.

“I would like that,” I tell her, squeezing her hand. “And maybe you can help me brainstorm the book’s climax.”

Her eyes go so wide that it’s almost comical. “Really? Oh, Hank, you have no idea how much I would love that.”

Laughing, I lift her hand and kiss her knuckles. “Maybe, with your help, this book will turn out okay after all.”

And maybe I won’t get my heart broken again when all this is over, though that one feels a lot less likely.