12.Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

Hank

I should probably get a cellphone. I told Trevor, Bonnie’s assistant, that I didn’t have one when he said he would text me Bonnie’s number, and the poor kid stared at me like I was speaking a foreign language. I could have given him the number to my landline, but that almost feels worse than not having a phone to begin with.

I got rid of my cell when I left Denver because there was no one I wanted to get in touch with. All of my friends were Shelby’s friends, and I never had any family to stay connected to except for those on her side. Cutting myself off from my old life felt like the easiest way to survive after she died.

For the first time in four years, I’m thinking about getting a phone again, which is why I’m standing in front of the general store on Main Street while filming continues down the road. I haven’t worked up the courage to go inside, but I’m debating. That’s new for me.

Except, right now I’m pretty sure I’m losing the debate, and my hands are on my keys, ready for when I make a run for it.

That’s how June finds me, hyperventilating in front of the general store with my fist wrapped around my keychain.

“You doing okay, Hank?” A pair of hands take hold of my shoulders. “Maybe you should sit down.” She directs me to a bench and forces me to sit, and then she crouches in front of me, her face twisted in sympathy and frustration.

Across the street, a few Laketownians are staring at me like they’ve seen Bigfoot. They’ve probably been watching me for longer than I’d care to know, and before long the whole town will be talking about how I’m out and about yet again.

I rub my face, sliding my hands underneath my glasses to cover my eyes. “I hate small towns.”

“You and me both.”

“Why do you live here?”

“Why do you?”

She already knows the answer to that question, just like I know why she’s here. Laketown is a great place to escape reality and relationships that weren’t meant to last. June left an abusive fiancé; I left a ghost.

I sigh, dropping my hands. “I told Bonnie about Shelby. Up on the roof.”

June looks like I just slapped her. “You did what?”

Nodding, I sit up and lean against the back of the bench. I’m exhausted. I shouldn’t have chosen to do all this on a day when I didn’t get any sleep, but I was worried I would chicken out. “I didn’t get a chance to explain it all, but I told her my wife was killed.”

That’s not what I told her. I told her that Shelby was murdered , which is the truth but sounds a whole lot more horrific .

I press a hand to my chest and take a deep breath. “I don’t know why I told her,” I continue, since June is still too stunned to speak. “I mean, I do, but I don’t have a good reason to want to open up to her. It’s not like our…” I shut my mouth before I say something about the nature of our relationship that someone might overhear. “I think I’m just tired of living under a shadow, and I wanted Bonnie to know why I am the way I am.”

“Hank, that’s huge.” June moves from the sidewalk to the bench next to me. I know she wants to take my hand because that’s her default gesture, but she’s smart enough to know we’re being watched. The internet would love to think I’m cheating on my famous girlfriend with a small-town nobody. Hey, maybe being the victim would give Bonnie a huge boost and I would be able to go back to my lonely life of solitude.

But I don’t want that. It’s just like I said to June the day we talked to Fran about the contract. My life isn’t much of a life. Solitude doesn’t fit right anymore, as evidenced by my middle-of-the-night conversation with an orbweaver. The last four years have been a slow descent into madness, and it’s time I stop my downward spiral before I’ve gone too far to be saved.

I look around to make sure no one is close enough to eavesdrop on our conversation, and I drop my voice just in case. “I’ve spent the last four years hiding from my past, June. That’s not something I can just get over, as much as I want to.”

“I know that. But I also know you’re a lot stronger than you think you are. And while I don’t like this thing you have going on with Bonnie, I do like that she’s sparked this change in you, Hank. I mean it when I say this is a huge step, but you have to remember that it’s just steps. Not one giant leap. How did she respond when you told her?”

I grimace. “She didn’t. I mean, she didn’t really get a chance, and now she’s filming again so I’ll have to wait until they’re done for the day, whenever that is. I was thinking I might…” I pause. As so on as I say it out loud, I’ll have to do it. “I was thinking I might get a phone to make it easier on her.”

June’s eyebrows fly high, and she glances at the general store behind us. “Like, a cellphone phone? Really?”

“Steps, right?” I say. My eyes catch on Jonah, who is walking closer while chatting with his assistant. I should probably watch what I say unless I want the whole world to know my issues. “And don’t think you’re getting my phone number. I’m worried you’ll stop bringing my groceries if you can talk to me whenever you want.”

Chuckling, June shakes her head and gets to her feet right as Jonah walks past.

“You’d better not stand me up, Harper,” the actor says, pointing at her.

June narrows her eyes, but her smile contradicts any true irritation. “I don’t back down from a challenge, James.”

He grins, clearly pleased by that response. “Neither do I.” Winking, he continues onward.

As soon as he’s out of earshot, June turns to me with a scowl and points a finger at me, though she’s a good deal more threatening than Jonah was with the gesture. “Not a word.”

I’m more likely to laugh than anything, and I am so glad for this change of subject. “I wasn’t going to—”

“He asked me out to lunch, and how could I say no to something like that?”

Pursing my lips, I lift my shoulders in an exaggerated shrug. I don’t think I’ve ever seen June blush, but she’s bright red right now. “What happened to your dating ban?”

She groans. “It’s one date. That’s it. Go get your phone, and don’t worry about giving me your number because you must think I have a pretty high opinion of you if you think I would actually call you, McAllister.” She pats my shoulder. “Let me know if you need anything, Hank.”

“Thanks.”

“And good luck. I hope Bonnie listens to you.”

I hope so too. June’s one of the few people who know the full story with Shelby, mostly because she did a bunch of research on her own and then forced me to fill in the blanks. She doesn’t give me pitying looks because she knows that only makes it all worse. Hopefully Bonnie can understand that I don’t want pity when it comes to Shelby. I don’t want people thinking I’ve overreacted to her death. I just want Bonnie to hear me and recognize my entire life changed when I lost the love of my life.

And I can never go back to who I was.

It takes two hours to buy a phone and get it activated, mostly because Steven, the guy who runs the general store, had no idea how to get me on a plan because everyone in Laketown has always driven to the nearest city, Sun City, to get their phones over the years. But he was eager to help make all the phone calls and get it figured out for me after I promised to name a character after him in my next book. He didn’t care if the character ends up dead as long as his name is in there, so I happily accepted his offer. Mostly so I wouldn’t have to be the one on the phone.

Strange how much a person can get out of the habit of something. I used to talk to large groups of people on a daily basis. Now I get anxious thinking about making a call to get my barely smart phone to work.

I would have gone for a non-smart variety of phone if Steven had had one. But he didn’t. Apparently the world doesn’t believe in holding on to the basics anymore.

As I step back out onto the street, feeling weirdly connected to civilization, I am torn about what to do now. Part of me wants to toss the phone in the trash and pretend I never took this step, and the other part of me wants to hunt down Trevor and tell him that I fixed my phone problem and can now text Bonnie.

That’s the part that wins out. The Bonnie part. I’m terrified to continue our conversation, but June was right about taking steps. And it feels a whole lot easier now that I’ve taken the first one.

Filming is still underway when I reach the other end of Main, so I linger at the back of the set and try to figure out which part they’re filming now. I’m pretty sure they don’t film in order so they can efficiently use their time and space, so it could be anything, and I’m not in a great spot to see what’s going on. Where is Bonnie?

“Psst. Hank.”

I jump, even though the whisper was quiet, and turn to see Trevor waving at me from behind a small white trailer. Since he seems to be gesturing for me to follow him, I duck behind the couple of people watching with me and hurry over to him.

“Bonnie’s over here,” Trevor whispers, almost inaudibly. I would imagine those microphones they use pick up on a lot of sound, so I keep my steps light.

He takes me around a computer setup that seems to be where Beckett is watching the footage as they roll, and then we stop at the edge of a rack of clothing.

From here, I have a much better view of Bonnie and Jonah as they walk down the sidewalk and talk while the camera moves ahead of them. Bonnie’s in Gabrielle’s signature leather jacket and combat boots, her hair up in a pencil bun, and it’s still surreal to see her like that. She fits the character so well, even if she’s nothing like Gabrielle in real life.

“I’m just saying it’s strange that the father won’t talk to you,” Jonah says, his voice calm. “Don’t you think that’s suspicious? ”

Bonnie scoffs. “Oh, and when did you become an expert in murder investigations? I thought you worked in finance.”

Jonah shrugs, but there’s something in his body language that is far from calm. How he manages to look frustrated without sounding frustrated is impressive. It makes him look unsettling in the most subtle way. “I do work in finance,” he says, “but I’m also good with people. And I think he’s hiding something.”

“I think he was just told that his daughter is dead and he doesn’t know how to process that.” Bonnie stops, putting her hands in her jacket pockets and looking around at the extras who walk past her. “Look, Logan, I know you want to help, but I really can’t have you poking around my case.”

Jonah clenches his jaw. “Someone tried to kill you two days ago, Gabby. Pardon me for being nervous about letting you wander around when there’s a killer on the loose.”

A little smile makes its way onto Bonnie’s lips, more smirky than anything I’ve seen on her before. “Are you saying you’re worried about me, Logan Banks?”

Jonah steps in closer, his frustration quickly shifting into desire as he looks down at her. “I might be saying that.”

“You only met me two days ago.”

“What can I say? You made an impression when you hit my car.”

“I think your car hit me , technically.”

Jonah goes in for a kiss, but Bonnie presses a hand to his chest and holds him back. “Easy, tiger. I’ve got work to do.”

“It can wait an hour, can’t it?”

Bonnie bites her lip, her smile growing as she slowly lifts up on her toes.

An arm nudges me, making me jump. Trevor widens his eyes. “It’s not real,” he mouths .

“I know that,” I mouth back, but I realize how much I’d been frowning when my eyebrows relax.

I turn back to the set as Bonnie brushes a kiss against Jonah’s cheek and smirks at him when he groans. “I’ll see you tonight,” she tells him and continues walking, leaving him standing there with an expression that is so hard to read that I wonder what’s going through his head right now.

I should know the answer to that, but I don’t because this scene is so different from how it was in the book. That doesn’t mean it’s bad. It just means I don’t know what to expect.

“And cut!” Beckett shouts, sparking the crew into life as everyone hops forward to reset everything while he turns to the monitor next to his chair to replay the footage.

“Hank!” Bonnie skips over to me, her smile bright and warm and so different from the look she was just giving Jonah. “I didn’t think you would be back here today.”

I grab her hands, though I’m not sure why. “You were amazing.”

She rolls her eyes. “That wasn’t even a difficult scene, and the lines were so easy. Anyone could act that.”

But I don’t think anyone could make me jealous like she just did. I’m not even dating her, and I didn’t want to watch her flirt with Jonah like that.

Clearing my throat, I nod toward Jonah, who is studying the script. “He’s surprisingly good.”

“I know, right?” Bonnie’s eyes go wide. “Ever since he found out Logan’s real motivation, he’s been killing that part. That’s a good thing,” she adds when I frown. “It means this movie might not suck after all.”

“I don’t think it was ever going to suck. Not with you in it.” I love the way she blushes, even though I blush right along with her. Apparently I’m getting flirty now, though I can already tell I’ve maxed out my non-awkward lines. “Uh, I got myself a phone, by the way. So we can plan things more easily.” I pull it out of my pocket to show her, realizing there’s still the protective cover over the screen. I peel it off and stuff the sticker in my pocket.

Bonnie lifts an eyebrow. “Did you not have a phone before?”

I shrug.

“Well, I’m glad you have one now. Hopefully it wasn’t expensive, though you could totally send my team an invoice and we could—”

“Bonnie.” I find myself mirroring Jonah’s movements in the scene, stepping closer to her and giving her a smile. “I can pay for my own phone. Just know that you’re going to be the only person who has my number because I’m not all that fond of people.”

She bites her lip. “I’ve noticed that. You must like me if I get to have it.”

“I guess I like you a little.”

“Oh. My. Goodness.” Trevor interrupts our moment, eyes bouncing between the two of us. “You guys are totes adorbs. But Bonnie, you’re needed for the next take. I’ll handle the phone stuff.”

Bonnie sighs, but her smile speaks louder than her apparent frustration with being taken away. “It’s good to have you here, Hank. Talk tonight?”

I nod, watching her walk away. Tonight. I can do that.

Right?