Thirteen

Cade

"I wouldn't bother."

I don't remember this guy's name, but I recognize him as Sebastian's annoying friend from when they came to the diner to rub Sebastian's first date with Liam in my face. I've only been to Liam's new place twice, and both times, I was quick to leave. I helped him move in and made sure to do nothing more than set shit down and bounce. I'm not all that sure why I even bothered coming here today.

"They're probably fucking," he continues. "They don't answer the door when that's going on. Nothing more important than Liam's ass." He doesn't even look at me as he speaks—just stares down between his knees as he sits in front of my best friend's door on their doormat. "Horny bastards," he mutters.

"That's—" but I don't know what to say to that. I still can't believe Liam is a bottom. How does one go from straight jock to… dating a guy who can kick my ass? "How long have you been here?" I don't actually care, but it feels awkward, so I'm pressured to say something that has nothing to do with Liam being fucked.

"Who knows? I used to have a key, but they have so much sex it got taken away."

"Right." I nod. "That makes sense." Not really, but it's none of my business either way.

"Did Liam know you were coming?" He looks up at me finally, hope softening his features.

I sigh. "Nope." I was antsy. Needed to do something other than obsess over Nic and figured coming here was the answer. It's really just my luck that Liam is busy.

"Well, why are you here?" he has the audacity to ask.

"Because I can be." My best friend lives here. I almost ask him why he's here, but I guess his best friend lives here too.

He rolls his eyes. "Forgot what a joy you are." He goes back to looking at the ground, and I simply don't care enough to keep the conversation going. I turn to leave, but his voice stops me. "Wait! Where are you going?"

I ignore him, go back to what I was doing, and try to think of somewhere else I can go. Can't go home. Nic isn't there, and all I'll be doing is wondering where the fuck he is. If he's avoiding me again. Maybe with someone else stupid enough to pine over him. Like fucking Corby.

"Wait," Sebastian's buddy says again, but I don't need to play nice with my friend's boyfriend's friends. That's not a thing, or at least I don't want it to be. It's bad enough I have to be nice to the guy who broke my nose. Whoever this guy is can fuck right off. "You're Cade, right?"

I stop walking to gawk at him, wondering why he's suddenly standing next to me. "What are you doing?"

"I don't know." He shrugs a slim shoulder at me, definitely trying to irritate me if the slight curve of his lips is any indication. "Following you."

"No, you're not." Who the fuck does this guy think he is?

He snorts, tucking a few strands of dirty blonde hair behind his ears and revealing a fresh, jagged cut at his hairline. "Well, clearly I am."

I do my best to ignore the ugly bruise surrounding a smudge of crusty blood, but I know he's aware I saw it because he moves his hair over it once more. I want to ask what caused it, but I don't know him well enough to ask. But I want to know. For some reason, it reminds me of Nic. His legs and the scars he hates that I saw. I wish I hadn't looked at them, been so shocked to see the mess he made of his own legs. I wish I'd found out he was doing that to himself sooner, that I'd cared enough to pay attention so I could get him help sooner. I kind of wish I knew just how the hell he did it. Mostly, I wish—

"Where are we going?"

I scoff, try to think of an answer, and then scoff again. I want to stop thinking of Nic. He makes me feel actually crazy—the kind of nuts that makes me enjoy using cock as a cork for my throat. I can feel all the neurons in my worthless brain going feral when I think about him, and I absolutely blame that—blame Nic—for why I cave to this sort of stranger so easily.

"I have no clue."

∞∞∞

J ax can fucking talk. His ramblings have been the only thing keeping me occupied the past hour, so I'm almost grateful for it, but… holy hell, can he yap.

"Shut up." I roll my eyes. "You're so full of shit."

"Swear to god." He holds his palms up, but again, I call bullshit.

"That means nothing coming from an atheist."

Which I only know he is because he told me. I might know too much about this guy, really. He's a certified yapper and went on about it for close to fifteen minutes before he saw a quail on the sidewalk and segued into a monologue about how they mate for life.

"Okay, well… yeah. I can see that. But I'm not lying! They have like a whole dresser full of dil—"

I veer the car right, turning onto a busy road and cussing when Jax lets his nachos slide off his lap. And then cuss again when someone honks at me.

"What the fuck is your prob—"

" Shh! " There is zero chance that Nic can hear us, not from way up the road. But still. I don't need to listen to Jax's barking as I carry out this somewhat idiotic and very impulsive adventure right now.

"I am not cleaning that up."

"Yes, you are. And be quiet."

"Your car is gonna smell like cheese."

"Stop. Talking."

He goes silent for maybe two seconds before he brings up ants, and I groan. I decide it's best to give up, letting him spill every single thought that runs through his mind. But I barely hear any of it as I continue following the black car I saw. It's a little hard to try and make sure I stay far enough behind that Nic doesn't see me but close enough that I don't lose him.

I'm glad that Jax is too busy filling the silence to notice what I'm doing. This shit is embarrassing.

I should stop. I could take this next left right here and stop following him. I should definitely do that.

Ope, too late. Not that left, then. The next one.

But… where is he going? Not the diner, clearly. It's minutes of being a creepy stalker before I follow him onto a residential street, and then I have to drive much slower.

"Cade?"

"Huh?"

"What are we doing?"

"Nothing." I sit up straight, adjusting so I look more normal and not like I'm trying to hide behind my dash. "Why are you here again?"

"You're going ten under the speed limit. They can actually pull you over for that. For going too slow. They might want to do a wellness check on you—my grandma was pulled over for that once. She was super high on pills, though, so I was pretty grateful." He pauses to snort. "My mom had to come to the police station and pick me up, but she was high too, so I ended up going to this Puerto Rican woman's house for a bit. Lotta people there, and I had to sleep on the floor, but the food was so fucking good. I have dreams about that lady's dinners to this day. Whose house is this?"

"Jax."

"What?"

"You talk a lot." That's really all I can think to say to all of that. Also, I have no fucking clue whose house this is. Or whose house Nic just walked into. Maybe it's Corby's. I don't know that he has any other friends.

"Yeah. I get that a lot. But why are we here?"

"I genuinely have no clue why you're here," I whisper, giving in to the urge to sink low in my seat. Just in case Nic looks out the window or something. Not that it would do any good. He knows my car. I should not have done this.

He huffs. "Whatever. I'm growing on you. I can tell."

"Sure. Like a wart."

"Whatever."

"You already said that."

"Who are we stalking?"

"What?" I sit back up, try and fail to look like someone who isn't indeed a stalker.

"That car," he says, pointing with his bony finger at Nic's sedan. "We've been following it for a while."

Oh. He's more attentive than I gave him credit for. "No, we haven't," I lie.

"Now, who's full of shit?" He reaches down to the floorboard and grabs a chip. I have to stop him when he goes to put it in his mouth, shaking my head at him until he drops it again. "Just seems like a waste of perfectly good nachos."

"We'll get more," I tell him. "And I'm not following anybody. I don't know who— down! " I duck, and when all Jax does is look around, I have to yank on the collar of his shirt to pull him down with me, ignoring his complaints. " Fuck . Do you think he saw us?"

"Who?"

"He's going to be so pissed if he saw me." I know he is.

"Which one is he?"

"What do you mean? How many are there? Who else—" I sit up, just enough to peek out of my window, can't help but do it because I want— need —to know who he's with, but I sink back down immediately. " Shit! " I hiss. "He saw us. Don't be weird—"

"Dude, you're being weird."

I shut my mouth when Jax, still leaning over his knees, looks up behind me and waves.

"I get why we were stalking him."

I sit up again. Try for nonchalance as I stare at the street in front of me rather than look over at where Nic is beside my door. "I don't know what to do," I admit. "Maybe I should—we're just going to leave." I nod my head slowly, lips in a tight line as I wonder when I got so… like this.

"I don't think that's the right move, buddy. He looks pretty mad."

But if anything, that just makes me want to leave even more. I'm not sure what he'd do right now if I spoke to him. Tell him that I happened to see him and followed him because, I don't know, I just wanted to say hey?

The last time I talked to him, I ended up on my knees. Came in my jeans just at the taste of his cock. I've got a case of Dumb Dick, but Nicolas does not. His dick is… not dumb. Uncut. Fat and long. Big enough to actually cut off my air supply. I couldn't even breathe through my nose with the way he was fucking my throat. And then he ruined it.

We're not doing this again.

Yeah, fuck him. I can't face him right now. More importantly, I don't want to. His knuckles rap against my window, but I've made up my mind.

I drive off, eyes ahead so I don't look at his face.

∞∞∞

"W hat the heck?" Liam stands there, blocking the entrance until Jax shoves his way past him. "Did you guys come here together?" He looks genuinely befuddled at the very possibility. I get it. I doubt there are many who willingly hang out with Jax. I find it hard to believe that Sebastian can tolerate him for very long.

"Sort of." I shrug, not feeling up to explaining the story of how it is I ended up hanging out with Jax. He'll probably explain it all himself anyway. "You gonna let me in?"

Liam steps aside just as my phone buzzes in my back pocket, and I ignore it. Again. I know it's Nic. He's been calling and texting me ever since he saw me. But I'm settled on ignoring it. Ignoring him. Procrastinating, I suppose. I know I'll have to deal with it eventually, but that's future Cade's problem. Currently, all I'm going to do is spend an awkward hour or two hanging out with Liam and his buff boyfriend.

Their dog starts immediately trying to climb up my leg, yapping in a way that reminds me of Jax when I step over the threshold. So, Liam, his buff boyfriend, and the two yappers. I've never been a super big fan of dogs. Liam loves them. Used to talk about wanting one all the time when we were younger. Liam being a dog person and finding himself a boyfriend who is the kind of guy to bring stray dogs home makes sense. No wonder I never had a chance.

In a way, it makes me feel better about the whole thing. The unrequited-ness of it all. I'm not right for Liam, never was, but maybe he's not right for me either.

"Okay. Down, girl." I try to gently push her away with my foot, but she just goes back to trying to climb up my leg. "Liam. Please control your dog."

"Rude." But he picks her up, immediately cuddling her up against his chest and cooing at her as he tries to dodge her yucky dog tongue. "So, what are you up to?" he finally asks, leaving the dog-sized rodent to squirm aimlessly in his arm.

"I'm… here." I shrug.

"Okay." He smiles. "What brings you here?"

It's Jax who answers for me, who doesn't shut up when he catches my glare. "We were stalking his boyfriend, but we got caught."

"His boyfriend?" Liam raises his eyebrows at me, mouth hiding in his mutt's fur.

"No. Not my boyfriend."

"Okay." He's enjoying this a tad too much, more excited about the prospect of me dating than even I would be. "Then who?" Liam asks, but again, Jax doesn't give me a chance to answer.

"Well, if he wasn't your boyfriend, can he be my boyfriend? He's hot as hell. Like… I can't actually think of anyone hot to compare him to, but he's gorgeous. It's his skin thing, the vital something—whatever it's called—he's almost ethereally hot."

I look up at the ceiling and wait for Liam to get it.

"Wait. Vitiligo?"

I can hear the shocked smile in his voice. Kinda want to slap it off his stupid, pretty face. Jax, just confirming what Liam already knows, has the bastard cheesing.

"Huh. That reminds me of someone. But I mean, it couldn't be. Cade hates that guy."

"I don't think vitiligo is that common. Like, I can think of one person I've seen with it in my life—and it's Cade's hottie. He is really… maybe I'll start stalking him."

Liam laughs, and I can feel my jaw tighten, the sound of his dumb chuckle making me irrationally angry that my supposed friend can find my misery so amusing.

"He's not—I wasn't stalking him!" I glare at Jax, but that's not wholly fair. I expected him to blab. Should have left him at the gas station like I wanted to. "I just—I wanted to see what he was doing. I was curious." I shrug. Kind of. I don't really know what all that movement was, but it doesn't do a good job of convincing either of them that I'm not a freak all sorts of hung up on his stepbrother.

Stepbrother! Fuck.

My eyes move to Liam, silently trying to beg him not to tell Jax that detail. Sometimes, I forget that even is a detail. The plot of my life is now a cheesy porno. Only with more drama than someone who wants to bust a nut would be willing to sit through .