Chapter Twenty-Six
L ady Eleanor, Duchess of Smythington
I exited the carriage before my London home after my third day of attending the Kensington Music Conservatory. While I was training under a master musician, I didn't feel truly comfortable among the other students. All, save me, were Atticus's and Anne's age, fresh-faced youths just discovering life. Throughout my classes, I kept thinking about Flynn's off-handed comment about the students being on the younger side. I had to keep reminding myself that I was accepted for my musical merits and I deserved to be there. Yet a tiny part of me whispered to spare myself the agony of uncertainty and simply quit. I knew I was talented, but everyone at the school was equally talented.
Despair threatened to wash over me, and I squared my shoulders, preparing to walk into a house empty save for the servants. In the days since our outing with Flynn, my relationship with Rex was even more strained than usual. He stayed late at Parliament, and when he was home, our conversation was stilted and strained. Flynn had been noticeably absent.
I walked through the door and was met with chaos. The butler rushed over to me, his harried expression sending chills of dread down my spine. My first thought was something had happened to Rex. "What is wrong?"
"I'm afraid Lord Harry is missing. His grace received a telegram from Lord Atticus saying Lord Harry left and nobody has seen him in two days."
"Where is my husband?" I tore off my hat with shaky hands. What hell Atticus must have experienced. Anne was out to sea, blissfully unaware of what was happening at home. If she knew, she would be beside herself.
"Lord Rex is in the study with Scotland Yard, my lady. Chief Inspector Stark has sent out men in search of Lord Harry."
My precious Harry was missing. The very idea hit me in the stomach so hard I could barely breathe. I knew it would be hard for him to be at school, but I never thought he would run away. Spots dotted my eyes as I rushed toward the study. I had to see Rex.
A gentleman of a similar age with a bowler hat and sandy hair was with Rex. Pen and paper in hand, he took notes while Rex spoke.
I rushed in, my stomach churning with fear. Meeting my stare with a stark one of his own, Rex held his hand out to me. I was at his side in an instant. My mind swirled with questions. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and brought me in tight to his side. Although he looked in control, he was shaking. By the grim look in his eyes, he was as afraid for Harry as I was.
"Is there somebody out there looking for him?" I asked. Harry was a resourceful boy. He was also impractical at times. Would he have the good sense to come in from the rain? Or would he spend hours in whatever field he came upon if he found some worms? My panic seemed to fluctuate between rage and despair and nothing in between. I needed to get hold of myself and think. Becoming hysterical wouldn't help anyone. Nor was it in my nature to do so.
The man with the pad looked up and nodded at me. "My name is Chief Inspector Jonah Stark. My department is assigned to find young Master Harry."
"Did the school provide any leads? Do we have any idea where he would go?" With Harry, I wasn't sure. While eccentric, he was used to a routine. "Perhaps he went to our country estate thinking we were still there."
"I have sent somebody to the country estate to investigate, my lady."
I clutched my stomach, resisting the urge to vomit. "How long has he been missing?"
"Atticus stopped in today to check on him, and when the school went to look for Harry, his dorm mates said he'd left two days before." Rex exhaled, his grip on my waist tightening.
"Two days? The headmaster must be called on immediately. This is unacceptable." My knees were weak, and I fought the urge to move. This couldn't be happening. It simply couldn't. I had already lost two babies, I couldn't lose Harry. "I think we need to go to the school. Atticus must be beside himself."
I started to move away from Rex. He kept me immobilized by his side. His profile to me, I could read the terror in his face. He was leaning on me as much as I was leaning on him, so I remained where I was, our petty fighting gone in lieu of a united cause.
"I told him to stay there in case Harry returns."
Harry had been gone for two days. The last few minutes already felt like a lifetime, and I didn't know what to do if Harry was lost to me. "This is my fault, I had reservations about sending him to school. I ignored them and look what happened? He's missing."
Rex shook his head. "No, it's not your fault nor mine. Harry is a certain age, and he needs to go to school. The fact he left school will be something we deal with once we find him."
"We will find him." I had to believe it.
"Yes, we will. I have faith in Harry's abilities. He is a resourceful boy." Rex's assurances were comforting; however, he couldn't guarantee a positive outcome.
Until I saw Harry with my own eyes, I wouldn't rest.
The butler entered the study with Flynn trailing him.
I had never been happier to see him in my life.
Flynn took in the scene, staring at the chief inspector before catching my eye. "What is happening?"
I met his inquiring gaze and spoke through my tight throat. "Harry is missing. He left Knutchester, and nobody knows where he's at."
In two long strides, Flynn was at my side. He clasped my hand, his support most welcome. During our two days together, both men treated me with reverence until I stupidly let slip my father's role in picking Rex. Today, I would call on their strength to help me through this nightmare.
"Do you have a photograph of your son?" Stark asked.
"Yes, I have one." Rex released me and strode to his desk, lifting one of the framed photographs of our family on Anne's wedding day. We all looked joyous and eager that day. The troubles of our lives were inconsequential compared to what I was suffering through right now.
"Can you tell me about the last time you saw your son?" Stark asked me.
Flynn released my hand and moved to the windows overlooking the garden to pace the room.
"I don't know what relevance this will have. The last time she saw him was with me," Rex answered, his hand behind his neck. His usual calm demeanor was frayed from nerves.
"I don't mind telling him." I wanted to keep us both calm. Inside, my mind screamed in agony. I began to tell the chief inspector what I recalled and told myself Harry would make his way home. Like Rex said, he was a resourceful boy. I pointed to the photograph. "As you can see, he has blond hair, and he's tall for his age. He's also very smart but doesn't see the world as others do."
The chief inspector had a knowing look on his face. Before he could call Harry derogatory names, I interrupted, "There is nothing wrong with my son."
Rex spun on his heel, fire in his eyes, his hands balled into fists. He was fiercely protective of Harry, and I was afraid he might do something like punch the chief inspector for his insolence.
I put a staying hand on Rex's arm, gripping his flexed biceps. "Harry is very much aware of his surroundings, and he's cognizant of danger. He just gets something in his head and must follow it through."
"Well bloody hell." Flynn's voice cut through the tension. We all turn to look at him. He shook his head, pointing outside, a wide grin replacing his earlier grimness. "Harry's in the garden."
Everything in me deflated, and my knees buckled. I surely would have fainted if it wasn't for Rex grabbing my arm at the last moment. I couldn't believe Harry was outside this entire time. Hysterical laughter escaped, and I put my hand over my mouth, tears wetting my palm.
Chief Inspector Stark pressed his lips together, a sparkle in his gaze that wasn't there a moment before. He and his force had been called out for a false alarm, but he didn't look upset, rather relieved like the rest of us. "Can you confirm that is indeed Lord Harry?" he asked.
I strode to the window and saw my son at his favorite flower bed. The shaking in my hands had decreased, my laughter subsiding. "Yes, that's him. How did he get past the servants?"
"That is a good question." Rex squared his shoulders, his hands still shaking as he looked at the butler who stood just inside the door.
"There was a fire in the kitchen. He must have slipped by during the chaos," the butler said, red-faced. "My apologies, your graces, I had no idea he was outside."
"I am sure you didn't." Rex turned to the chief inspector, "You can call off your team, Stark. I offer my highest gratitude for the speed with which you have responded. Your department will be adequately compensated for the trouble."
"I am just glad he is home safe. I have two boys of my own." Chief Inspector Stark nodded, motioning to his fellow officer.
Rex turned on his heel and rushed outside, Flynn and me on his heels. The past half-hour felt like a lifetime, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to hug Harry or shake him.
"Harry," Rex called out, storming across the yard. I had never seen him this furious before. Although I knew he would never hurt our son, Harry didn't always see when he did something wrong. Accusing him of something without explaining it just agitated him further, and he shut down.
"Calm down, Rex. You know he doesn't respond well to anger," I said.
With a grim nod, he slowed his steps until I could walk beside him. Our differences aside for the moment, he took my hand as we approached our son.
Harry was knee-deep in a pile of mud, a jar of worms beside him. He looked up and smiled. "I found a treasure trove of worms."
Rex worked his jaw, clearly torn over the entire affair. Flynn laid a hand on my husband's shoulder in support.
"Uncle Flynn, look, ClassClitella earthworms." Harry held up the jar, his hands caked with mud.
"Harry, why did you leave school without telling anyone? Atticus was frantic when he found out you were missing, as were your mother and I." Rex spoke with a calmness that belied the upset furrowing his brow. He exhibited great restraint, given the circumstances.
"I didn't like it there. I told Atticus I wanted to go home, but he told me I couldn't leave because I had no way home. He was wrong. I caught the train home." Harry shrugged and went back to digging, clueless to the trauma he caused. "When I got here, Mama wasn't here, and I needed to check on my worms."
Harry had come looking for me, and I wasn't here for him. The words would forever haunt me. By allowing him to go to school when I had reservations and by attending the conservatory instead of being here when he came home, I'd failed my son.
"Why didn't you tell the servants where you were?" Rex asked Harry.
He shrugged. "They were yelling, and you know I don't like yelling."
"Regardless, what you did was wrong." My guilt escalated to the point where I didn't know whether I could look at him anymore without breaking down. "You should have sent a note around, and your father and I would have come to visit you."
"I considered it. Atticus said you'd probably make me stay there. I didn't want to stay there." He went back to looking at his worms.
I met Rex's grim countenance. He was clenching and unclenching his fist, fury still dotting his cheeks. "Son, I need you to leave your worms behind and go inside to get cleaned up. We need to have a talk about your behavior."
"You're upset?" Harry asked. He couldn't read other people's faces and learn their cues, but his familiarity with his family helped with his challenges.
"Yes, Harry, we are very upset with you. What you did was irresponsible, and you could have really been hurt." Rex said, clearly working hard to remain calm.
I would rather die than let Harry be lost to me forever. Clearly, he needed more time at home before we tried to send him to school again. I thought all my children were out of the house. Harry obviously needed my assistance. I would forgo music for my son as any good mother would. "Come, my darling, let's get you cleaned up. Then you and Papa can talk about what you did and what punishment you will face."
I took his hand, uncaring about the mud marring my white gloves. With a smile to Rex and Flynn, I led Harry inside. I would gladly ruin a dozen gloves to have my boy home safe with me.