Chapter Twenty-Four

L ord Rex, Duke of Smythington

"I truly think you should consider courting Olivia. The two of you are well suited." I couldn't imagine living without Eleanor and knew Flynn was lonely. Chasing the past wasn't conducive to a bright future.

The contentment fell from Flynn's face, and he reached for the teapot, pouring himself another cup. "Are we well suited or simply dependent on each other from habit?"

Was he speaking about Eleanor and me or was I reading too much into it? Eleanor was the foundation of our family, and I was thrilled she had chosen to pursue her music. I simply prayed she'd never find out about my role in gaining her place at the conservatory.

I had never felt the need to put the spark back into my marriage. I'd simply accepted that it was normal for passion to wane due to family and responsibilities. Seeing several red spots on her neck caused by my exuberant kisses, I realized that my desire for her was never deeper than it was last night. I couldn't seem to help myself from getting lost in her arms and savoring the feel of her pussy grabbing my cock with uninhibited desire. "I am not the same man I was then."

"I beg to differ. Don't forget our night at Oxford," Flynn replied with a teasing smile. "It is the catalyst for our current affair. I will grant that you are more mature and now understand the errors of your ways."

The maid had arranged Eleanor's hair in a fashion that I hadn't seen her wear before. A riot of curls cascaded over one shoulder, enhancing the creamy expanse of her décolletage. Her lavender gown accented the blue of her eyes, and she'd never looked lovelier or more tempting. "I am ashamed to say that at seventeen, if I had learned about your brief affair at Oxford, I would have refused both of your proposals," she said.

All thoughts of passion left my mind, and I glanced between Flynn and Eleanor. Pulse thumping in my temples, I sat motionless, unable to fathom what she had casually disclosed. He had proposed to her. Anger rushed to the fore, along with a deep-seated hurt. I glared at Flynn. "You proposed to her. Why didn't you tell me?"

He held up his hands and gave Eleanor an apologetic glance. "She asked me not to tell you."

I whipped my head around, staring at Eleanor with incredulity. She had told me she'd chosen me because she loved me. Was my entire marriage a lie? "Why would you keep that from me?"

"I think this is a perfect time for me to leave you two to discuss this." Flynn stood with his hands raised in supplication and sauntered out of the room.

I also had questions for him and was tempted to call him back, but this was between my wife and me. "Why did you feel the need to keep that from me?" I ground out through clenched teeth.

"I was afraid it would only upset you. My father disliked Flynn after a servant informed him that I had been seen kissing Flynn in the fountain." She licked her lips and closed her eyes for a brief second. "My father accepted your offer over Flynn's."

A stab of hurt cut through me. Everything we had shared felt like a lie. "Thus, I was always your second choice."

"I was young, na?ve, and flattered to have two very high-profile gentlemen courting me." Eleanor glanced up, her eyes widening. "It was a long time ago, and I never regretted the decision."

"Except it wasn't your decision. It was your father's." I tried to calm my racing heart, betrayal cutting deep into my core. Her father had influenced Eleanor until his death. His heavy-handed manner a constant challenge to maneuver through.

"Ultimately, he took the decision out of my hands, and it was the right choice for me."

"Is that the real reason you agreed to this affair with Flynn?" The euphoria of our affair had begun to unravel. Jealousy tore through me as I saw the entire night through different eyes. Every touch, every caress between the two of them had hidden meaning.

"I will not dignify that with an answer." She glared at me, clutching at the neckline of her gown. "You are the one who suggested this arrangement, not me."

"Actually, it was Flynn who first suggested it." During our time on the river, he had brought up the subject of a ménage. I trusted him, and I had a sinking feeling that I had been a fool for doing so.

Flynn strode through the doorway, his brow thunderous. He had donned his greatcoat and hat, clearly ready to leave an unpleasant situation. He glared at me, fury in the depths of his eyes. "I suggested a ménage. I didn't ask to be the third person. That was all you. This isn't about me. This is about you two never truly talking to each other, so don't point the finger of blame at me."

"Nobody is blaming you, are they Rex?" Eleanor asked, her color high.

"I am merely stating that neither of you told me the truth." I had every right to be angry at them and being chastised like a child enflamed my temper.

"I gave my word to a lady. I kept that word." Flynn glanced at his pocket watch, the once relaxed air in the room charged with tension.

"At the detriment of our friendship."

"You are such a prat." He shoved the watch back into his pocket, a tick forming in his jaw. "On that sour note, I will bid you adieu. You two can stay here and finish your conversation. I will talk with you later when cooler heads prevail."

With a stiff bow, he disappeared again, gone but not forgotten. Once I returned to my house, I would have more words with him. He had a lot to answer to. "Why did you keep this from me?"

"I said nothing because it didn't seem worth upsetting you over. The only thing it would have accomplished was ill will between all parties."

"You were right." I stood and began to pace. "I am upset with both of you."

"You knew my father quite well. He was formidable and frightening. When the two of you proposed on the same day, I was overwhelmed because I liked you both."

"But not love?"

"At seventeen, I wasn't sure about anything. What did I know? I was barely out of the schoolroom."

Every word that hit my ears added to my anguish. "At eighteen, I knew I was in love with you. I was honest about my feelings for you, and I trusted you when you said you loved me."

"I was infatuated with both you and Flynn. I didn't know who to pick at the time. You both possessed very appealing traits. My father claimed it was Flynn's morals that made him choose you."

"But it was my title." I had carried that fear when I set out to court Eleanor. Short of marrying a prince, there was no higher status than a duke.

"To my father, it was all important. To me, it was your kindness that placed you at the top of my list. Flynn was exciting, and devil may care, and when I was with him, I gave in to my impetuous manner."

"Flynn was fun while I was boring but steady." I didn't like her explanation any more than the reasons for this conversation in the first place.

"You were never boring. Steady and dependable are much more desirable in the long run. We have had a very prosperous marriage, and I don't regret the decision to marry you, no matter who made it." She approached, her gaze locked with mine. "What matters is that I love you now."

"No, I beg to differ." My jaw ached from clenching it. "For years, I told the children about our grand love affair and how we had been destined to be together. The only destiny that intervened was your father and his thirst for a grand title."

"I still believe we were destined to be together. We have three wonderful children, and if I had to go back, I would do it all over again with you."

The betrayal still cut deep and a fierce need to know everything kept me grounded. "How do you feel about Flynn?"

"He is a dear friend to both of us. I suppose I love him. Since I have known him for over twenty years." Caution rested in her eyes. "I also desire him, as do you."

I couldn't dispute her claim. "You said you were once infatuated with him. Do you still hold those feelings for him?" I had to know all.

"I agreed to this affair because it was, in part, what we all wanted. I will not lie and claim I have no deeper feelings for him than lust. However, I put the same question to you. The two of you had a brief affair at Oxford at the same time you were courting me. What are your feelings toward Flynn?"

She had turned the tables on me, and I didn't like where the question had landed. "Romantic love between a man and a woman is acceptable. Passion between two men is taboo."

"So I am being judged through a different lens?" Chin lifted, she glowered at me. We rarely argued in the past. That had changed apparently, along with everything else between us. "It is acceptable for you to love more than one person at a time, yet I can only love one man?"

"That isn't what I am saying. I was never in love with Flynn. We are friends, and lust isn't the same as love." My physical desire for him hadn't waned, and I wasn't truly convinced by my own words. Lust was a powerful motivator. Our aggressive coupling had been a revelation, and the way he pleasured me with the dildo was indescribable.

"Nor is infatuation truly love. He excited me at the time. I won't deny that, nor will I apologize for it." She stood and went to pull the servants' bell. "Our tryst has proven my lust for him is alive and well. I can't deny that either."

"Flynn warned me this might stir the pot of our marriage." Little did I know it would simmer over into dangerous territory. The emotional impact was too raw to absorb, and I ran my hand through my hair, unable to continue with the conversation.

"Better to stir the pot than let it boil dry," Eleanor snapped. She turned to the maid who entered and instructed the woman to fetch our outerwear.

I waited for the maid to leave before saying, "We needed to air our grievances. I thought it would help. Now I'm not so sure." I stared outside at the rain-splashed glass, wishing I could turn back the clock and we'd never have this exchange. That wasn't possible. I had been living under an illusion. The hurt continued to cut through me, my feelings complicated by our affair. "The question is, how do we fix what is broken? It is glaringly obvious that an affair wasn't the most brilliant idea."

"Agreed. I think it complicated things. The simple fact is, I have no idea where we go from here." She wrapped her arms around her waist, her lower lip quivering. "I do love you. Please never doubt it. My feelings for Flynn were superficial at the time. Now, I can't say for sure what they are. I desire him, Rex. I know you do as well. Flynn isn't the issue in our marriage. We are."

No matter how upset I was with her, I hated to see her cry. I pulled her into my arms. We were at a crossroads and could either travel down it together, ruts and all or go our separate ways. We'd been living separate lives all along, and I never noticed. Or perhaps I had chosen to ignore the reality that the fairytale I thought I was living in was nothing more than an illusion.