Chapter 33

Chapter 33

B OTHWELL rode through the night and into the following morning, arriving at Hermitage towards midday. One look at his face told Cat the news was bad, but she asked nothing of him. Instead she led him to their apartments, pulled off his boots, and put him to bed. When Bothwell awoke that evening, she had a good supper ready for him. It wasn't until he had eaten that he spoke to her.

"The king has ordered yer return to Glenkirk by September first."

She whirled to face him, her eyes mirroring shock. "If ye do not," he continued, "Jamie will reclaim the lands and goods of the Leslies of both Glenkirk and Sithean, as well as the Hays of Greyhaven." "Let him!" "Cat!"

"Let him, Bothwell! Wi'out ye I am a dead woman!" He held her tightly in his arms. "Cat! Cat! Think, lass. Think! How many children hae ye?" "Six."

"And among yer cousins, how many bairns are there now?"

"At least thirty," she said.

"And ye hae twenty cousins, and yer brothers, and yer parents' generation, and the More-Leslies. My God, Cat! Close to a hundred people! And then, my darling,

we have my children to consider too. All these innocent people destroyed—the children and the old people. Nay, love. Neither ye nor I could build a life on the wreckage of both our families."

"Dinna send me away, Bothwell," she whispered piteously. "I would sooner be dead."

"If we run, if we attempt to escape Jamie in any manner, he will destroy our people. He was quite firm wi me. He wants us punished, and he has found the most exquiste torture to inflict upon us and on Patrick Leslie as well. He still loves ye, Cat. Dinna be afraid to return to him."

She looked up at him. "How can ye talk to me like this, Francis?"

"Because I must! Christ, Cat! I canna bear it!" His voice was breaking. "Yer my life, lass!"

They wept. The border lord and his love clung to one another and wept until they could weep no more. Then they stood together, holding onto each other until Francis Hepburn swept her up in his arms and carried Catriona Leslie to bed.

In the night she awoke to find him gone from their bed. For a moment she was frightened until she saw him standing by the windows looking out on the moonlit landscape. He turned and she could see his face was wet with tears. She pretended sleep, realizing it would only add to his agony if he knew she had seen him. A dull pain throbbed in her chest, and she stuffed her fist into her mouth to stifle the cry that rose in her throat.

For the next few days neither Bothwell nor Cat could bear to be out of each other's sight for more than a few minutes. Knowing that only a month remained to them was, as the king had anticipated, a terrible torment It was finally Cat who made the decision that was to ease them through their last weeks.

"I want to go to the lodge," she told him. "I came to ye there. If I must leave ye, ‘twill be from there."

He had already told her that the king had forbidden him to come within ten miles of Edinburgh, and he was expressly forbidden to accompany the Countess of Glenkirk from the borders. She would be escorted by Lord Home.

Bothwell sent his servants up into the Cheviot to clean, freshen, and stock the house. They would live as they had lived in the beginning—alone, to themselves. On the day they rode out from Hermitage together for the last time, they had three weeks left. They had not bidden the servants goodbye, for neither of them could have borne an emotional scene. Hercules would welcome Lord Home when he arrived to take charge of Cat, and would bring him to a meeting place.

It was late summer, and already the evenings were cool. They spent their days riding, walking, sitting silently on a hidden promontory that overlooked the border valleys, watching the eagles soar off into the west wind. Their nights were spent in a rapture of lovemaking such as neither of them had ever known, made bittersweet by the knowledge that they would soon be parted.

One morning she came downstairs to find him just entering the house. "Look, Cat," he said, holding up a fish. "I've caught a salmon, and I've found some late cress."

Cat burst into tears, remembering that on her first day in this house with him he had said almost the same words to her. As the realization came to Bothwell he swore, and then he swore again, for today was their last day. Managing to control herself at last, she looked at him through wet lashes. "And I suppose that smell from the kitchen is lamb broth?"

He nodded. She couldn't help but laugh, so doleful was his expression.

"Clean yer fish, Bothwell," she said lightly, "but I dinna want to eat it till late. What kind of a day is it?"

"Warm. I found a field full of Michaelmas daisies near the stream "Let's go swimming!"

Her green eyes sparkled. "And will ye make love to me in the daisies afterwards?" she teased.

"Aye," he answered her slowly, his own blue eyes quietly serious.

She flung herself onto his chest, and clung to him. "Oh, Bothwell! Bothwell! I dinna think I can bear it!"

His arms tightened about her for a moment "Go and get dressed, lass. I'll clean this fish, and get us some bread and cheese to take along today."

They rode slowly in the late-August sunshine. The valleys glowed below them in faintly purpled haze. They did swim in the icy waters of the stream, and afterwards he did make love to her. She kept laughing as fat bumblebees buzzed them while they lay amid the pungent flowers. Afterwards they ate the bread and cheese he had put into their saddlebags, drank dry white wine from a flask, and munched early apples. Too soon the sun began setting, and they rode home.

As they rode she asked quietly, "What time tomorrow are we to meet Lord Home?"

"Two hours past sunrise," he answered her, staring straight ahead. And then he heard her whisper, "So soon."

The sun had sunk in a blaze of hot orange behind them. As if to mock them, Venus glowed bright in the darkening sky above. The horses easily found their path back to Bothwell's lodge, and while the earl fed and watered the animals and bedded them down, Cat cooked their supper. They ate in silence until she said, "We had burgundy our first night."

"Aye. And ye got drunk."

"I want to get drunk tonight"

He came around the table and pulled her up to face him. "No, my darling. I want ye to remember everything that has happened between us—especially tonight."

She began to cry softly. "I hurt, Francis! My heart hurts so very much."

"I hurt also, my love, but I'll nae let Jamie Stewart know that he's killing me by taking away the one thing I hold dear. Our pain must be a private thing. But Catriona, my sweet, sweet love! I dinna want to forget a moment of our love, because I will need it to sustain me in the times to come."

"Ye'll be alone now, Francis. Who will look after ye?"

"Hercules will, my darling. Hardly a suitable replacement for the bonniest woman in Scotland, but …" He stopped, and gently wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Christ, Cat! Dinna weep, my precious love! I thank God Jamie is at least returning ye to Glenkirk. Patrick will look after ye."

"Aye," she said bitterly. "If he looks after me as well as he did before, ‘twill be a short month afore I'm forced again to be the king's whore!"

"No, love! Twill nae happen! Patrick has promised me."

She stared at him. "Ye saw Patrick? When?"

"Last month when Jamie ordered me to return ye. I had to be sure he would care for ye properly. I had to know he wanted ye, for if he hadn't, I could nae have let ye go back. He loves ye very much, my darling. Even knowing ye belong to me, he still loves ye. Dinna be afraid to go back to Patrick Leslie."

She shivered. "He'll want to make love to me," she said in a low voice. "I'd as soon go into a convent than hae another man touch me."

Bothwell laughed softly. "Nay, Cat Ye were made

for love. Wi'out it that lovely body would shrivel and die. Dinna be ashamed of it, and dinna deny it" Drawing her into the curve of his arm, he slid a hand into her silk shirt, and caressed the soft swell of her breasts. She murmured contentedly, her leaf-green eyes half-closed. He laughed again. "See, my darling?" he gently teased her, drawing his hand from her warmth.

"Beast!" she managed to say before his mouth took possession of hers. He was gentle, always so incredibly gentle with her. He kissed her with a melting tenderness while he quickly undressed her. Then, without losing her lips, he lifted her into his arms and carried her upstairs to their bedroom.

When he lay her on the bed she drew him down to her and slid her hands into his shirt, stroking his chest and broad back. She pushed the shirt off. Fulling him back to her, her soft bare breasts made contact with his smooth bare chest He gasped with pleasure at the familiar contact, and felt the rising between his thighs. She loosed her grasp and whispered urgently, "Hurry, love!"

Quickly he tore off his remaining clothes and, mounting her, thrust deep into her throbbing warmth. His entry never failed to elicit a cry of pleasure from her. She strained to receive him, sobbing her frustration when he could go no further. He began a delicious torture, thrusting within her as deep as he could go, then pulling completely out of her until she begged him to stop, so painful had her own desire become. But he would not He drove her to heights of passion she had not known existed, prolonging their painful pleasure, and when at last him own passion burst in a raging flood within her, she half-fainted from excitement.

Her head was whirling, her heart pounding, her ears filled with the sound of a ragged weeping that she gradually understood was her own. Bothwell gathered her into his arms and rocked her back and forth. His own

senses were reeling. He had, in a terrible instant of clarity, realized that in a few hours he would send this woman out of his life, possibly forever.

Slowly their breathing returned to normal. She lay back against the pillows and drew him onto her breasts. "Why did ye wait until tonight to do that to me, Francis?" He said nothing and she continued. "It is so easy for ye men. Ye live by a strict code of honor that leaves no room for emotion. Tomorrow ye will turn me over to Sandy Home, who will turn me over to James Stewart, who will probably try to make love to me before turning me over to Patrick Leslie, who will make love to me because I am his wife, and it is his right Ye will feel remorse at my loss. Sandy Home will regret the part he must play in this drama. Jamie will feel lust mixed wi a bit of guilt, but not enough to stop this terrible thing he is doing to us. And Patrick will feel apprehension at my return, which he will try to hide from me by being masterful.

"Where am I in all of this? I am alone again while ye all play at this game of honor. I am forced to submit my honor to a man I dinna love—all the while hungering for ye, Bothwell. Ye are all so honorable. So then why do I end up feeling like a whore? I would rather be dead, and even that is denied me."

"Dinna wish for death," he whispered huskily. "The only thing that keeps me sane in all of this is knowing that ye'll be alive and well wi Glenkirk." Sitting up, he looked at her, his blue eyes blazing angrily. "I care naught for honor, and if I thought we could build a life for ourselves from the wreckage of our families I would take ye away tonight! Could ye be happy knowing that we had destroyed Glenkirk, Sithean, and Greyhaven? Nay, love, I dinna believe ye could. At least my children have Angus and the Douglases. Yer Leslies hae been a law to themselves. Ye've taken an occasional outsider

into yer group, but ye've been so busy preserving yer wealth together that ye hae no powerful ties."

"We needed none," she said. "Our wealth has been our power."

"It isna now, my darling, it is yer weakness. Now James Stewart uses yer wealth as a weapon against ye, and against me. I love ye, Cat. I love ye wi all my heart I love ye as I hae never loved another woman, and when ye are gone from me my life will be an empty shell. I hae nothing left."

"Will we nae see each other again?"

"There will come a time—six months, a year or two from now—when I will have to leave Scotland. Before I go I will see ye … if ye still wish to see me. Patrick has promised me that."

She began to weep softly again, and he held her against him, stroking her long hair. There were no words left Exhausted, they finally slept waking several times before the dawn. He had to arise, but she caught him by the arm, and begged softly, "Once more, my rightful husband."

So with exquisite delicacy he made love to her, his mouth seeking the sweetness of her breasts, her belly, her thighs. Gently he entered her, bringing them quickly to a mutual satisfaction. Then, marveling, as he always did, he grew hard again within her. This time he took his time, enjoying her lovely body to its fullest and again they dozed.

When she awoke for the second time he was already up, and a steaming tub stood before the fireplace. Without a word she arose and bathed. Downstairs he laid out a cold ham, oatcakes, and brown ale. She tried nibbling on an oatcake, but it tasted like ashes and she only managed to swallow it by gulping some of the bitter ale. She felt as cold as ice. Finally he said, "If we're to meet Sandy on time we must leave now." She looked up at

him, her lovely leaf-green eyes mirroring his pain. Catching her to him, his mouth closed over hers, stifling her cry. For a moment he lost himself in the sweetness of her, and as Cat's lips parted beneath his and her warm breath rushed into his mouth, he groaned.

Suddenly she tore herself away from him and, fleeing outside, mounted her horse. For a moment he could not move. Then he pulled himself together and joined her.

The day was gray and threatening. Here and there the trees showed an early touch of color. They were to meet outside the town of Teviothead at the St Cuthbert's cross. They rode in silence. Though there was so much she wanted to say to him, she could not speak.

Hercules, Lord Home, and his men were waiting. Francis Hepburn shook hands with his friend. "Ye'll look after her, Sandy? Dinna let her do anything foolish." His voice was almost pleading, and Alexander Home nodded wordlessly. Bothwell dismounted. He lifted Cat off her horse. They stood for one long moment looking at each other. Tenderly, he cupped her face in his big hand.

"Ye'll take care of yerself?"

"Aye."

"And ye'll nae hold Glenkirk responsible for this? He would have had ye happy, even at the cost of losing ye."

"I know."

"And dinna let Jamie know he's won." "Christ no!" she exploded.

"I love ye, Catriona Mairi. Whatever happens, remember that. Remember."

The beloved leaf-green eyes burned into his. "I love ye, Bothwell, and whatever happens I am always yers. James can force me back to Glenkirk, but he can never change the way I feel. I will never stop loving ye." She

pulled his head down, kissed him passionately, and then quickly remounted her horse and kicked it into a canter.

Startled, Home looked at the Earl of Bothwell and then signaled his men to ride off after her. For a moment Francis Hepburn looked after them Then suddenly his big shoulders began to shake, and Hercules heard dry, wracking sobs. He stood, helpless, not knowing what to do. He had never known Francis to cry.

Unable to think of anything else, he threw an arm around Bothwell's shoulder. "Come on, Francis! Let's go home!"

Francis Hepburn turned to face his brother, and the empty look in his eyes made Hercules recoil. "I hae no home now, Hercules," said Bothwell. "She was my home … and now she is gone."