20. The Truth

"Ican't believe it is December first already," Lilian said when they were driving back to her place on Sunday after the holidays.

This was the most time she'd spent with Braylon since they'd been dating and she'd had a ball.

She had equal amounts of time with her family and the two of them exploring Lake Placid.

Braylon took everyone out to dinner on Saturday night as a thank you. She'd seen one of her old coworkers out that night and introduced her boyfriend. At least it was nice to run into someone she knew because Braylon was giving her looks the whole time whenever any comments about her childhood came up.

She just wanted to put it behind her. It's not like she lied about anything.

She'd been clear she had no relationship with her mother. She didn't talk to Karl much and maybe a few times a month had a text with Brett or Annie.

All of that was the truth.

"Thanksgiving was late this year," he said. "I can't wait to get back and see my brother tomorrow."

He rarely said his brother's name when they were out in public. She could understand that.

West wasn't a common name and if anyone saw or knew Braylon's last name they'd put it together.

"Did you know he was going to propose on Saturday?" she asked.

This morning when they were getting ready to leave, West texted Braylon a picture of him and Abby together at the same time Abby sent her the same picture. A selfie with Abby's hand in front of the two of them with a caption of, "I said yes!"

"No," he said. "I'm not surprised but didn't expect it this soon. They've been together since April. Seven months."

"I guess when you know, you know," she said.

Just like she was positive she was in love with Braylon yet neither of them had said the words.

For her, it was not that it felt too soon as much as it still didn't feel real.

Maybe if he said it first, she'd know it was the same feeling for him.

There were times she looked at him and saw what she thought was love in his eyes, but he was holding it back.

"I guess so," he said, smiling at her in the taxi.

One of tenderness that he showed often.

She didn't expect him to say the words, just like she wouldn't say them the first time in a taxi.

"I had a great time this weekend. I'm so glad you could go with me."

"Your family is really special," he said. "I'm glad you invited me."

"That you invited yourself," she said, bumping her shoulder into his.

"You wanted me to go and you know it. Quinn said she bugged you for weeks."

"I did want you to go," she said. "But I knew you always go home. I didn't want your mother to hold it against me."

"She won't," he said. "Especially when I tell her that you're coming for Christmas."

She was nervous about that. But at least Laken would be there if not Abby. Maybe since West proposed in Abby's hometown and then shared it with Abby's family this morning, that they'd go away for Christmas too. She'd heard that Aileen Carlisle liked her family together as much as she could get it.

"I look forward to it. I hope Abby can go but understand that might not happen now."

"I'm not sure," he said. "When I find out I'll let you know. I'll get us a hotel for a few days."

"I'm sure everyone stays with your mom, right?"

"God no," he said.

"Oh. I thought the house was big."

"It is. Talia has living quarters in the basement. There are two other wings that have more than one room in them. Laken will take one. I normally take another, but I've got you with me. The newly engaged couple stay in our old house."

"Old house?" she asked.

"Yeah. Big brother bought the house we grew up in after my father died. He had the ranch renovated and now it's there for anyone to use when they visit. But he gets first dibs. If he isn't going, then we'll stay there. Foster will stay with Elias who lives an hour away. Rowen and Nelson normally get a hotel because they go out and party and don't want our mother watching them, but they could stay in one of the wings too which is why you and I won't."

"You just don't want us sleeping together under the same roof as your mother, right?"

He laughed. "Nope. She knows we are sleeping together, but for a woman who has eight kids, she's never condoned that. Regardless of our age. Though, I found out recently that she was pregnant before they got married. We just thought she was early with the first kid."

Lilian started to laugh. "No one did the math in your family?"

"Hey," he said. "It was close. Like a few weeks. She could have gotten pregnant on the honeymoon."

"Sounds like your parents had a great marriage even though they didn't spend a lot of time together."

"They did," he said. "One of the best considering their situation. My mother, she's the strongest person I know."

They pulled in front of her apartment. Braylon told the driver to wait while he got her bag out of the back.

He carried it up for her. "I think you're a Mama's boy."

He shrugged. "It's been said before," he said. "I don't know that I am as much as I just wanted to take care of her."

"Like West," she said, unlocking the door.

She knew he didn't like to be compared to his brother and that wasn't what she was doing. Or hoped he didn't think that.

"We all want to take care of her. We do it in our own way. West has always had so much on his shoulders to provide financially. For me, I think it was keeping West in check and being the go-between with our mother and him. He didn't always talk to her."

"Ahhh," she said. "She reached out to you to make sure he was taking care of himself."

"In a manner of speaking. While he was taking care of everyone else, he was putting himself last. I just made sure I was there if he needed me."

"I know you two are close," she said.

"We are. I don't know that West ever let anyone get too close to him. Even me. I think meeting Abby just changed him."

"So the past few months are different?" she asked. This was news to her.

"Yes and no. The West you know is the one that existed before our father died. For years, he lost a bit of himself. He's got it back. I feel like I do too."

"I didn't know you lost anything," she said.

"I think we all lost sight of the important things while trying to put profit and caring for others first. Not just West, but me too. But then I met you and I know the important things. I saw it this weekend too."

Her heart was racing. "I can say the same. I was looking forward to going home but then even more to leaving. I love Quinn, but the house is chaos. She's always been the little mother looking out for her younger siblings too. To me, she deserves a good life and she's getting it."

"She seems to enjoy being a mother and wife," he said. "I know it's not for everyone."

"It's not," she said. "But as I said, she'd taken the role on really early. She was Max's nanny first. I don't say this to anyone. Ever. And I know it's probably stupid and silly and their business."

"What?" he asked.

"Max never stopped paying Quinn as his nanny. It's not that he treats her like that. It's that she's always been independent and never wanted to rely on anyone. He feels like what Quinn does is a job whether she loves it or not. It was her job and career before she met him. He didn't want her to feel as if she had no source of income."

Quinn had confessed this to her years ago when her sister wanted to pay for her college.

She'd said no way. She wouldn't take money from Max, but Quinn had said it was hers.

She still didn't want it, but Quinn did end up paying for half. That was only because the bills were paid before Lilian could get her loan to do it herself.

"West bought a bookstore for my mother. One in town and it's barely staying afloat. He doesn't care if it's running a deficit. My mother needed a purpose when Talia went away to college. She works there part time. When the bookstore was going to close its doors, he bought it and put it in her name. But it's managed mostly out of our office in terms of administrative stuff. She gets to work when she wants and interact with people, hold book clubs and things like that. The fun stuff."

"Well, that trumps my big sister paying for half my college."

He grinned. "There is no keeping score. I'm just saying our family is the same way. It sounds as if Quinn wanted you to have an easier start on adulthood. Trust me when I say it looks like West and I had it easy to most, but you know that isn't the truth."

"No," she said. "It's not. And I'm very thankful for everything Quinn has done. Most of her money she uses for the kids anyway. Or me and my brothers. I think Max knew that. Quinn was never going to be able to not help those she loves and it gave her a way of doing it and keeping her pride at the same time. As if she earned it even though Max could gladly give her anything she wanted."

Her sister lived a pretty simple life and always would.

Lilian felt the same way, but yet moving here, it was hard to say that.

Nothing was simple in this city and everything cost more than it should.

She was making it work her way.

"You do that for those you love," he said, pulling her into his arms. "You know I'd do the same for you."

"Are you saying you love me?" she asked, looking up at his adorable grin. His eyes were light and almost soft as they gazed down at her.

She felt safe in his arms now and wasn't sure she'd ever say she felt safe much in her life.

"I am," he said. "I came to realize that if I wait to hear the words from you first, they might not come."

"I'm still waiting," she said, grinning.

He leaned down and gave her a quick kiss. "I love you, Lilian. I do like Lily though. I think you don't want me to call you that."

"I love you too, Braylon. And you can call me anything you want."

"Really?" he asked.

"You know what I mean," she said, stepping back and swatting his arm like Quinn did Max so often in that playful loving way.

"I do. I think Lily just suits you better but understand that at work you're someone else."

"I'm starting to realize that I didn't know who I was when I got here. I have this idea in my head of what I want and can't seem to find it or get it. But going home this weekend, I saw what I needed in my life. Those people—they know me as Lily."

"Then Lily is who you are going to be to me too. I'll make sure everyone else knows too."

"Thanks," she said.

She'd answer to either, but if she learned one thing from the Carlisles it was that work and family were different universes. Whether it was how you act or what you were called. You could be two different people as long as you could go to the ones that you loved and would be there when they needed you the most.