Chapter 4: Josie

Chapter Four

JOSIE

I close my eyes at the sound of Mick’s voice. The sudden urge to cry rushes over me. I almost miss the part where he admits to having made a mistake. I crumble up the eviction notice and toss it into the trash.

“Please tell me you’re not in jail.” I thought Mick was past that stage of his life. That he grew up and, well, moved on.

He no longer had to struggle to find a way to make ends meet. His sister’s husband is loaded, and Mick isn’t doing too bad himself. He may not have had any blockbuster fights yet, but from what I’ve heard, the smaller ones pay well too. Plus, I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before he gets a title shot.

“No, I don’t do that shit anymore, Josie.” I can tell my question bothered him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. You know I never judged.” I actually thought it was sweet; he tried to do whatever he had to so that he and his sister had a roof over their heads.

He might have gone about it the wrong way, but Mick’s heart was always in the right place. He was always so different from other boys, but I suppose Mick isn’t a boy any longer.

“I know,” he says, and the silence stretches. I have so many questions I want to ask him about his life now, but I stick to the reason he’s calling. “Are you going to tell me about this mistake?”

I wish he’d called because he wanted to check in or, heck, to hear my voice, but I’d told him it was for the best that we have limited contact. He needs to stay focused. More than anything, I didn’t want him finding out about my life falling apart because then he’d be back here. He made it out of this place, and he doesn’t need me and my problems dragging him back down.

I also hoped that the feelings I had for him would fade away given some space. That line of thinking backfired on me big time. If anything, they’ve gotten worse. I know people can be homesick, but I didn’t know you could be someone sick because that’s what this is starting to feel like. And the more my life falls apart, the worse it gets.

“Tell me about your day first.” Is he stalling? I wish he would just rip the Band-Aid off and tell me about this mistake he made. As much as I want to talk to him, I know when the call ends, I’ll be miserable.

“Why?” I force a laugh just to keep things light.

"I just want to hear you talk for a minute. It reminds me of home.”

Mick’s homesick, and I’m just sick for him. I need to get myself together. Stop focusing on things I can never have. That’s why I keep ending up where I am.

“Think your sister might be better for that,” I point out, trying to keep my hurt from showing.

“Jojo.” When he uses the stupid nickname he’d call me sometimes to irritate me, I melt. I used to despise him for calling me that. Now I want to hear him say it more.

“Not much happened.” I go through my day, telling him a few small things about work and then about a new video game coming out that everyone is dying to play. “They asked me to beta it.”

“Damn, really?” Mick perks up at that. I can’t help but smile. He always got excited for anything I did, no matter how small. Mick would always make a big show out of it.

“Yeah.”

“So how’d it go?”

“Oh, I didn’t do it.” I can’t hide my disappointment.

“Why not?”

I wanted to. It would have paid well. Enough to get me out of the hole I’m currently in and maybe out of this shit building.

“It was a whole deal with streaming and an event, and you know how that goes.” It’s such bullshit, but there is nothing I can do about it. I’m starting to think maybe I should put my focus somewhere else.

“People still fucking with you?” he growls out, making me smile. It’s nice to think of someone having my back, but the reality is he’s across the country, and I’m all alone with one stalker too many already. The last thing I can do right now is show my face.

“It is what it is.” I sigh.

It might be different if I could have some form of security, but I live too out in the open. Shitty part is I need the work to be able to get that protection, but I can’t take the work because I don’t have it. I’m in a hamster wheel, and as much as I hate it, I might have to get off.

“It should be. There has to be a way to–”

“We’re here about your problem, not mine,” I remind him. “And this mistake.” Mick curses under his breath.

We’d gotten sidetracked from the reason for his call. It's not surprising; this is the way it always was when he and I would get together. We’d lose track of time, talking. I need to keep reminding myself that things are different now.

“I’m getting to it, Jojo.” I can tell by the tone of his voice that he’s frustrated.

“Well, move it along.” I know I’m being a jerk, but it’s the only way to protect myself. I need to keep this as short as possible. I swear it’s like a double-edged sword. Not talking to him kills me, and talking to him only makes me miss him more.

“I got a new computer.”

“You call to make me jealous?” God knows I already am. Mick was hot before he became a professional fighter. Now he’s on a whole other level. I don’t want to think about all the girls around him out there in Vegas.

“I can get you–”

“Don’t start with that.” I cut him off, not wanting Mick’s charity. He lets out an irritated breath. “You didn’t get someone pregnant, did you?”

I'm not sure why that comes to mind, but it does. I must want to torture myself.

“What?” he barks into the phone, making me jump. “No, Josie, the hell?”

“Sorry! I’m only guessing.” Yikes, is this question really that absurd? Mick and I didn't date during our high school years. We were kind of dorks together, but I’m sure now he’s making up for it.

“And that is your guess. Do you not know me anymore?”

Maybe I don’t.

“Can you just tell me what’s going on?” I’m not sure I can take much more. My stomach already aches from thinking of him knocking some girl up.

“I’m really sorry, but I got the new computer, and then I logged in.” He starts rambling on faster. I am on the verge of telling him to slow down before he drops the bomb. “I think I blew your cover.”

My stomach sinks.