40. Iris

CHAPTER 40

IRIS

THE GOO GOO DOLLS

I’m trying not to mope as I stare at the TV that isn’t even on. I wanted more time with her, but her leaving again didn’t surprise me. Three more weeks have passed, but this time I couldn’t throw myself at roles or events. I’m tired. So I’ve been staying home and making Jamie worry so much that he comes by every fucking day to check on me and force me to play video games. I’m sure he’ll be here any minute. With any luck, he’ll get caught up talking with Devin downstairs and leave me to wallow in self pity.

Pongo comes up beside me and nudges me in the leg, so I give him a few head scratches. He misses her, too, and I don’t blame him. This has been the hardest time of my life since Cassie. At least Steve finally got me out of bed and back in the gym, working me so damn hard my body hurts as much as my heart does. It’s a distraction for an hour or two. I haven’t cooked in weeks, but they’re all making sure I’m eating. Even Dr. Clay says this qualifies as manageable depression, and I’m managing it pretty well. Whatever that means.

My stomach growls as the smell from Devin’s pizza wafts its way upstairs to the loft where I’m curled around the pillow from the apartment. The smell of her shampoo has faded, but it’s still there. I groan and complain to myself as I stand up, stretching my stiff muscles. I glance over at the bedroom and frown. I haven’t slept in my bed in at least two months. I tried for a while, but I just gave up. It wasn’t the same without her. I don’t sleep much, anyway.

Something sparkles as I walk into the kitchen to grab a slice. I shift the box of cereal Devin hasn’t put away since yesterday morning and find Mrs. Silva’s bracelet. She only ever took this off while doing the dishes—I told her I have a dishwasher, but she doesn’t trust those damn machines. She must have forgotten to put it back on before she moved out.

I miss the old lady going around the house and bossing us around like she owned the place, cleaning up while she bitched us out about a clean house, and chasing the dogs around while calling them filthy animals. She meant none of it, and while Devin gets a little forgetful sometimes, we’re both pretty neat. She did it out of boredom. Not having Dani to clean up after or Ren to shoo out of the kitchen. She gave the house a warmth it lacked.

I stuff the bracelet into my pocket, grab a slice, and hop onto the counter where Ren used to sit and watch me cook. Instead, I’ve got Pongo’s big eyes looking up at me—or maybe it’s the pizza. I pick off a pepperoni and toss it to him as I stare out the window. I glance down at the slice, and realize I’ve taken two bites, but given Pongo every piece of pepperoni on it. I love pepperoni, but Ren eats like this.

“Fuck it,” I mumble, hopping off the counter and tossing the rest of the slice to Pongo. “Come on, buddy, let’s get some clothes on, yeah? You wanna go see your Abuela ?”

Ren’s mother and I bonded over our guilt and what Ren has gone through. Me for Lawson and the paparazzi, and her for Luis. She admitted Luis kept her away from Ren, even when they lived under the same roof. With Dani and Ren gone, she misses her family and the warmth they brought to the house. I want to change that, and I’m going to do it tonight.

I’m going to ask her if I can marry her daughter. Maybe it can give her hope like it gives me. I may even tell her how we want to make her a real Abuela someday. As much as I miss Ren, her mother misses her more, and I want her to know that she’s part of this family that Ren and I are going to make.

“Hey, idiot. I’m going out for a bit!” I shout into the living room a few minutes later after I’ve gotten dressed and no longer look like a goblin hermit.

“Okay,” Dev yells back. He’s busy blowing off steam with his teammates and doesn’t register what I’ve said. After being eliminated by Vegas last year in the playoffs, he and some of the other guys get their rage out by pummeling the shit out of Vegas in a weekly video game session. They call it therapy. I guess everyone handles shit in different ways.

Pongo’s jumping around my feet, waiting for me to open the door. “You coming with me, buddy? Yeah, okay. Come on.” I turn back toward the living room and yell out, “Lulu? You wanna go for a ride?”

“Dude, she didn’t even move. I got her. Pick up some food on the way back, yeah?” I’m not surprised. Lulu and Dev are inseparable now. He even takes her to the rink for practices and has her out on the ice chasing pucks.

“You have pizza in the kitchen, fucknut.”

“Shit, right!”

I open the door to the garage and Pongo bounds toward the SUV. I traded the Jag in when I got back from Vancouver. I’m hoping to surprise Ren when she gets back, a promise that I’m serious about our future together. I’m not sure she’s going to approve of it since she liked the Jag, but Pongo loves it. Besides, I can buy her a Jag that’s all hers. Pongo sniffs by the sensor and the back hatch automatically lifts for him. I bet this wasn’t what the manufacturers had in mind when they put those in. I close the tailgate and we head out.

When we pull up to her house, I take a long, hard look at the front gate, regretting my decision to come here. My stomach did somersaults the entire drive over, and I almost pulled over to puke twice. I keep reminding myself that Ren’s not here, I’m just going to drop off her mother’s jewelry, profess my undying love and devotion to her daughter, and head home. Easy peasy. Unless Mrs. Silva has decided she doesn’t like me and tosses me out.

If she hated you, she wouldn’t have had us over for dinner the other day. Calm the fuck down.

I’m pulled out of my panic by Pongo scratching at the door, ready to be let out. He bolts the second the door lifts enough for him to squeeze through.

“Guess you really had to go, huh Bud?—”

Someone screams from inside Ren’s house.

I’m out of the car and jumping the fence, sprinting to the open front door. I find Pongo standing over someone, growling and ready to rip his face off. Someone else takes a run at Pongo, but I drop my shoulder and throw my entire body into him, crashing into a bookshelf.

“Ow, fuck,” I groan.

“Chase!” My head snaps toward my name because that’s my girl’s voice. My pain disappears, replaced with a blazing rage. She has a large cut on her lip, her eye has swollen shut, and she’s clutching her arm. There’s someone holding a knife to her, but I can’t tell who because they’re wearing a ski mask.

“Chase, don’t?—”

Too late.

I pull the guy out from under Pongo, shove him against a wall, and punch him square in the face before I can let out my next breath. I’m inches from his face and the growl isn’t coming from Pongo anymore.

“Tell that motherfucker to let my fucking girl go, or I’m going to beat the fuck out of you and no one will going to recognize your corpse when I’m done.” The prick snarls back at me, but I don’t give him an inch. “DO IT! NOW YOU PIECE OF SHIT!”

“Fuck you!”

“Chase! Let him go! Let Luis go and get the hell out of here!”

“He’s not going anywhere,” the guy holding her says, but it’s not a guy’s voice. It’s…familiar. “Not unless it’s with me. I told you he’d come for me. He loves me, and you’re just a stupid whore that got in our way.”

“Who the fuck are you?” I bark, still pinning Ren’s ex against the wall as he sputters and swears through gasps of air.

“Oh, duh, of course you can’t recognize me,” she giggles, as if she’s not holding a knife to someone. She pulls the mask off and steps into the light. It’s the girl from the set, just like we thought.

“Sh—Shawna?” I pray I’m right. She smiles, her eyes sparkling like I’ve just asked her to prom. This girl gets creepier by the minute.

“Yes! I knew you’d remember me if I didn’t use my stupid real name. Shawna sounds so much cooler than Julie. Nobody remembers Julie, but they will now. Julie Catherine Cooper. Isn’t it so cute? I may just go with Catherine Cooper, though, since it would sound so fun with your name. Chase and Catherine Cooper…forever.”

This chick has a permanent address in delulu land, but I have to play it cool.

“Shaw—uh—Julie, will you please let Ren go?”

“Oh, no. I can’t. Sorry. I mean, she tried to ruin our lives, baby. Tricking you into leaving me like you did. It’s okay, I forgive you, Chase.” She smiles again and I shiver at the sight. “But look, it’s fine. She can go be with her scummy dipshit husband again. He made it difficult since he’s a fucking dumbass who can’t follow simple instructions. I bailed him out so he could take her off your hands. I’m not totally cruel. She’s just, you know, not your type, Chase. I’m your type. I’m your girl.”

“Stupid bitch!” Luis spits, and splatters of blood appear on my sleeve.

“Please, she won’t bother us anymore?” I ask again, ignoring Luis. Ren’s body shakes and she keeps glancing to her left at something. Her mother’s feet sticking out from beyond the couch. “No! Fuck! Ren?”

“S-she’s knocked out. Bleeding. I don’t, I don’t?—”

Julie slaps Ren across the face before pulling her head back by the hair and holding the knife to her throat. Luis struggles to get out of my grip, but I push him harder against the wall. When I turn back to Julie again, she’s giggling, enjoying all of this.

“You can kill him—I don’t need him anymore. It’s probably easier this way, so they don’t try to follow us or anything. I mean, I guess I should kill them both anyhow, but if we each kill one of them, it would be so cute!”

“No!” Luis yells, and turns to me, looking for sympathy. He is an idiot. “She’s fucking crazy, man! Loco! She did all this! She used me, right?”

“I’m not fucking crazy, you asshole! I’m the smartest one in this house!” Julie screams, pulling Ren’s hair harder. “I used you to lure this dumb bitch out of hiding, and it worked, didn’t it? You couldn’t fucking do it! You pathetic, limp dick loser.”

She stops yelling and takes a deep breath, centering herself until she’s smiling again.

“It would be a kind of poetic if him kicking this fucking whore in the gut earlier fixes that problem. Although, I still don’t think I’ll leave her alive. I mean, who the fuck does she think she is?” She yanks Ren’s hair back again, and I can see a trickle of blood on her neck.

I make out the faint boot prints on Ren’s stomach in the dark.

Ren wouldn’t know yet. I’ve done nothing but google babies and pregnancy shit for the last three weeks since I wasn’t doing anything else. But the possibility of her losing another baby because of him? Our baby? I swallow hard and try to focus.

“She’s damaged goods, Chase. How could she make you happy when she couldn’t even keep her small-dick husband happy?” She giggles, holding her finger and thumb up a few inches apart. “Seriously. So small.”

“Fuck you,” Luis yells back, still trying to get away again. “You liked my dick when I put it in your bitch ass! You fucking screamed for —”

Julie pulls a gun out, pointing it at him, which means also at me. “Back up, Chase. I’ll take care of this, of you. This will look like domestic violence turned murder/suicide. Everyone will believe her half-pint, loser hubby ended her life, and killed himself so he wouldn’t go back to jail. It’s the perfect cover up. After that, you’ll be with me, and no one will remember her.”

“Fuckin’ let me go, motherfucker! I’m gonna fuck her up so bad! My boys are gonna—!” Luis tries to punch me in the side so I head but his already broken nose. He screams like a child, but at least he stops talking. My attention goes back to Ren and Julie, but before I can do anything, Luis gets an arm free and that asshole punches me in the side of the head. “I said I’d fuck you up, stupid white boy!” he slurs and spits blood.

Luis pushes me backward before pulling a gun out of the back of his pants and leveling it at Julie. If Ren wasn’t right there in the line of fire, I’d let the two of them have their little cowboy stand-off. But Luis has a broken nose, and a swollen eye. There’s also a chance he’s on something. No way he’s that good of a shot.

Fuck.

Pongo steps next to me and I command him to heel, not wanting him to get hurt trying to be the hero. It’s hard to explain that to a dog, but hopefully he gets it. I take a deep breath and do what I do best. Act.

“Baby, you’re so right. It’s our time. Yours and mine. Together.”

She almost looks away from Luis, but stops herself. Her face twists again as reality slips back in for a split second. “Do you think they’d give me a medal for killing him? A shitty drug dealing wanna-be gangbanger who can’t even get it up?”

“What?” Luis and I ask together.

BANG! Blood splatters over Pongo and me as I scramble backward.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” Luis and I stare at each other. He’s coughing up blood as he moves his bloody hand away from his chest and falls to the floor. “Holy shit! Julie! Julie, we…we have to get out of here. We have to go before anyone else gets hurt!”

She holds the gun to Ren’s head. “She called the cops on us, baby! She’ll tell them everything and they’ll take me away from you again.”

“No, no, she won’t. She never called the cops. Why would she? The cops don’t listen to her, they never have. We’ll get her to sign Lawson’s contract, he’ll give her the money, and she’ll disappear. We’ll be free.” I lay it on thick, even though my voice shakes. She shot Luis; she’ll shoot Ren.

“We already tried that—it didn’t work. She’s too much of a hard ass cunt while all I tried to save your career.” She lowers the gun to Ren’s stomach, pushing the muzzle hard against her. Ren flinches, but Julie just throws her head back, cackling. “Besides, Rich won’t be able to give her that money anymore, if he ever had it. Unless they’ll accept a DNA sample for a signature at the bank.”

“What?”

“I killed him! Anyhow, she had her chance. A hundred grand would have bought her dumb Mexican ass a nice little hacienda in her home country and have her set for life.”

“I was born here, you stupid white bitch!” Ren snarls.

“Illegally, I’m sure! Now shut up! You stole him from me, and now I’m going to kill you for it.”

“He’s never been yours.”

“Renate!” I doubt she hears me over her own rage.

“He’s mine!” Julie shouts back. “We had something together! If those fucking security guards hadn’t taken me away like I was some kind of threat.”

“You have a fucking gun! You are a threat!”

“REN! Seriously!”

“I can’t help it!” Ren shouts back at me. “She’s a fucking idiot!”

CRACK! Julie smacks the side of Ren’s head with the gun and Ren drops to her knees. “Don’t talk to him like that. Don’t talk to him at all!”

I watch her face contort as she stares at Ren. This is my chance. I lunge forward.