Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty-Four

C onnor navigated the cramped aisles of Cairnhaven’s supermarket, his basket laden with the makings of a veggie curry. His signature dish. He wanted to cook a dinner that’d impress even the pickiest of palates. Tomorrow, his leave was ending. He had to go back to the heap of steel in the sea. This was their last night together for a while and it had to be special.

The supermarket was busy with the lunch rush, air filled with the scents of fresh bread and overripe fruit. He weaved through the bustle of kids in their first week back at school. His thoughts were on whether Kirsty would prefer chickpeas or lentils, when the sound of Isa’s voice rose above the chatter.

‘Connor! How are ye? Ah, I see you’re cooking,’ Isa said as she steered her cart around a display of local cheeses.

He adjusted the basket on his arm. ‘Just picking up a few things.’

Isa examined the products in his basket with an analytical glance. ‘That’s why ye’re buying a bottle of bubbles?’ She leaned in closer, lowering her voice. ‘To celebrate Kirsty’s good news?’

His posture stiffened, the casual demeanour slipping. ‘Good news?’

‘Aye,’ Isa said. ‘The new job she’s been offered back in London. Heard it this mornin’. Sounded like a promotion. A big deal.’

Connor’s face dropped as he processed the information. The words between them were heavy, like the air before a storm. ‘Promotion. Sure. That’s…aye, that’s something to celebrate.’

He rummaged through his basket and shifted the items around, the clinking of glass unnaturally loud. A muscle ticked in his cheek. He couldn’t meet Isa’s eyes, couldn’t let her see the gut-punch of emotion that had stolen his breath.

‘I dinna ken the details, but it seems a huge opportunity for her,’ Isa added, her voice a blend of congratulations and condolences.

Connor nodded, mind racing. The prospect of Kirsty moving back to London for good hadn’t seemed real until now. He leaned against the shelf. ‘Aye, Isa. She’d be a fool to turn that down.’

‘Exactly,’ she agreed. ‘Don’t look so glum. It’s good to have a strong, successful woman. The world needs more of those. Now yous have a nice wee celebration the night!’

‘Bye, Isa.’ He watched her push her cart toward the checkout, leaving him crushed amidst the chaos of the supermarket full of kids.The noise around him faded into a dull roar as he wandered aimlessly down the aisle. Every can, every box appeared trivial in light of the decision Kirsty faced. A decision that would inevitably take her away. Again. History repeating itself. The thought compressed his chest with sharp pain.He didn’t know what he’d been thinking. Had he really secretly hoped she’d stay here? Ridiculous.

Bannerman, you delusional fuckknob .

He grabbed a packet of rice. But as he looked at it, all he saw was a future where simple things like a curry wouldn’t include her. Would be just him again.

Aye, they’d been living on borrowed time. Even if she would stay longer in Aberdeenshire, even if… Sooner or later, she would realise the truth anyway. She would see him for what he was. A broken man with nothing to offer, no prospects, no ambitions. And she would leave for good.

Or worse, begin to hate him for trapping her here.

He wasn’t enough for her. Never was, never would be.

She deserved someone who could give and show her the world, someone who wasn’t haunted by past mistakes. Someone who mattered. Not the local persona non grata.He wasn’t interesting enough to keep her tied to Cairnhaven for long, and he still couldn’t see himself in London. Away from Scotland. He was just a simple Scottish small-town guy.

The reality of losing her, of being left behind once again, settled deep in his bones, constricting his throat.

But he couldn’t bring himself to voice it, to expose the sore, achy parts of himself. Begging her to stay wouldn’t just be pathetic, it would be cruel. He wanted her to have good, happy years and get to live her dream.

This was her chance, her shot.

And he sure as hell wouldn’t take it away from her because he couldn’t imagine his little life without her in it.

He wouldn’t try to keep her or allow himself to hold a grudge because she was pursuing her dream. Not a second time.

He had to let her go.

So he did what he knew. He buried the pain, the doubts, the longing. Pretended that everything was fine, getting back into his old routine.

It tore him apart.

He dropped the packet back on the shelf and made his way out of the shop. The ringing of the checkout scanners like the tolling of a bell. There was this job in Norway Dougie had told him about. Perhaps he should go for it. Move on. To save her the decision.

Time to make a phone call.

The warm August sun dipped lazily towards the horizon, casting an amber glow across the still waters of the quarry. Kirsty and Lucy lay stretched out on their towels on the edge of it, the stones beneath them radiating the day’s captured heat.

‘Remember when we used to dare each other to jump off that ledge?’ Lucy asked, pointing to a rocky outcropping above the deepest part of the quarry.

‘God, we were fearless back then. Or just mental.’

‘Bit of both.’ Lucy grinned. ‘But look at us now, all grown up.’

Kirsty sighed, her smile disappearing. The weight of her choices pushed down on her. ‘Speaking of grown-up…I’ve got a decision to make.’

Lucy propped herself up on her elbows, her deep-brown eyes searching Kirsty’s face. ‘Spill.’

‘I got a job offer in London. A big one, starting something new. Full creative control. Been waiting for something like that for over a decade. But…’

The allure of professional recognition, of finally being taken seriously in her job, pulled at her. But the fear of failure, of not measuring up, coiled in her innards – a snake ready to strike. Then there was the guilt, the nagging sense that she was abandoning her parents. And him.

‘But you’re not sure if it’s the right move,’ Lucy added. ‘Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet.’

Kirsty snorted, flicking a tiny pebble at her friend. ‘It’s just…I’m not sure anymore.’ She paused. ‘Actually, I’ve been thinking about staying here, in Cairnhaven. Just as an option.’

Lucy let out a low whistle. ‘Wow. That’s a big change from the girl who couldn’t wait to get out of this place.’

‘Oh, shut it. My parents aren’t getting any younger, and I worry about them.’

‘Your parents, huh?’ Lucy nodded, her teasing grin softening. ‘I get it. London’s got the glitz and the opportunities, but it can also be lonely and relentless. Cairnhaven…it’s got a different kind of magic.’

‘I wouldn’t go that far.’

‘Listen, Kay. I took the job in Venezuela because it was a chance to prove myself. To show everyone that I could make it big. And I did. But I also took it because I was terrified of facing my feelings for Veronica.’ Lucy leaned back on her elbows. ‘By the time I figured it out, it was too late. And I told myself it was for the best, that I needed to focus on my career. But the truth is, I was shitting my pants because I was madly in love with an extraordinary woman who terrified me.’

Kirsty reached over. ‘That must have been difficult. I’m sorry, Luce.’

‘Naw, it’s okay. It was a long time ago. But my point is, don’t let fear make your decisions for you. If staying in Cairnhaven feels right, then go for it.’

Kirsty nibbled on her fingernail, her friend’s words settling. She closed her eyes, letting her mind drift.

In one vision, she saw herself in a sleek London office, her name on the door. Takeout and busy traffic, stressed people. In the other, she saw herself here. Writing stories that brought her joy. The beauty of the Scottish east coast at her doorstep. Waking up next to Connor, his sleepy smile the first thing before her eyes.

‘Yeah, okay. But I don’t want to be stuck writing about the latest sheep-shearing contest round here for the rest of my life.’

‘Who says you have to?’ Lucy countered, eyes twinkling. ‘You could write a newsletter, showcase the community. Or capture the history of the area. Start a blog. Do some remote copywriting. Just saying.’

Kirsty chewed her lip. ‘Suppose I could. And I could freelance for bigger publications while living here. Start my novel.’

Lucy nudged her with an elbow. ‘See? You’ve got possibilities, my friend. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s not enough. Not even yourself.’

Kirsty laughed, the sound ringing out across the quarry. ‘When did you get so wise?’

Lucy tossed her hair over her shoulder. ‘It’s all that Canadian and Venezuelan air. Does wonders for the brain cells.’

Gratitude filled Kirsty, even as her doubts lingered like shadows at the edge of the water. Lucy reminded her of what a real friendship felt like. True and easy, not clunky and strained as it was with Eleanor. ‘Don’t know what I’d do without you. How did we never get in touch all those years?’

‘We left for Canada pre-social media, and then I suppose neither of us really looked for the other. Like a pair of stupid, lazy cows.’ Lucy reached over and took Kirsty’s hand. ‘Let’s not make that mistake again, ass-face.’

‘Agreed, shitehead.’

‘Love you, too!’

As the sun dipped lower, painting the quarry in shades of gold, Kirsty felt a glimmer of hope. With Lucy by her side, with Connor… This could work.

She sat up. The quarry’s rugged walls seemed to lean in, as if eager to hear her newfound plans. ‘I could start by pitching some ideas to Connor, see if he’d be on board with me staying.’

‘Aye, Connor.’ Lucy waggled her eyebrows. ‘Always knew you two would end up together. Since you were making googly eyes at each other at school.’

The heat on Kirsty’s cheeks rivalled the warmth of the sun-baked stones. ‘We were just kids.’

Lucy snorted, her eyes glinting with mischief. ‘Oh please. You two were hormones on legs. I’m surprised you didn’t set the building on fire with all that horny puberty tension.’

Kirsty laughed, swatting at her friend. ‘You’re one to talk! I remember a certain someone making out with Tommy Maguire after every rugby game.’

Lucy jerked her shoulders in an unapologetic shrug. ‘What can I say? Being bi means twice the choice. And that boy knew how to use his tongue for more than trash-talking the other team.’

Kirsty shook her head. ‘Jesus. You’re the worst.’

‘And you love me for it.’ Lucy blew her a kiss. ‘If you and Connor are going to give this a shot, you better make sure he knows how to use his tongue.’

Kirsty’s blush deepened, images of Connor’s wicked mouth flooding her mind. ‘Trust me, that’s not a problem.’

‘Great. I hope he pumps you as well as you deserve it.’ Lucy giggled. ‘Look at you, ready to get real with your teenage sweetheart.’

Excitement and nerves fluttered in Kirsty’s chest. ‘No clue what’s happening. But something about being back here, with him, feels oddly right. It’s freaking me out. But there it is.’

Lucy nodded. ‘I know what you mean. As forgotten as this corner is, there’s something about Cairnhaven. It’s like the land itself has a way of calling you home, no matter how far away you’ve wandered. And I must know, I’ve wandered as far away as possible.’

A breeze whipped through the quarry, carrying with it the scent of heather. Kirsty closed her eyes. ‘You’re right,’ she said. ‘I’m ready to give this a real shot.’

Lucy ruffled Kirsty’s hair. ‘That’s my girl.’

‘Please promise not to give Connor the “hurt my best friend and I’ll fry your balls” speech again.’

Lucy held up her hands in surrender. ‘No promises. But for you, I’ll do my best to keep the testicle-related threats to a minimum.’

Kirsty’s lips kicked up. ‘I know it may be sudden, but everything’s been leading up to this moment. Like it’s meant to be. Again, freaking me out.’

‘That’s how you know it’s real. When the thought of being with someone makes your heart race, your palms sweat, and your vag tingle. When you’re freaking out.’

‘When did you become such a romantic, Luce?’

A sly smirk curled her mouth. ‘Something in the water up here.’

Kirsty knew that the whole thing would be a risk. But Connor had already settled himself in her heart like the anchor from the Knock Nevis. ‘You’re right,’ she stated. ‘I’m not going to let fear hold me back.’

‘That’s the Kirsty I know and love. Now, let’s get out of here. I feel the urge to threaten someone’s baws with a fryer.’

Kirsty blew a laugh from her nose. With her best friend back by her side, what could possibly go wrong?

As they packed up their belongings, her phone buzzed.

BANNERMAN (8:12 PM) Leaving tomorrow. Still up for a wee curry? We need to talk.