2. A Bitter Word

I wassure that the female in the bubble was a hallucination. Had I finally been broken by the Great Proving? Isolation can play tricks on your mind, and I'll admit this isn't the only time I've invented someone to talk to.

The first cycle of my Proving was the easiest. I was so consumed with all the tasks and dangers required to create a new nest that I forgot my loneliness. This second and final cycle is more challenging. The daily rounds for fortifying and protecting the nest are now perfunctory. My body is on autopilot as I yearn for someone to connect with.

She can't be real.

The strange curves of her body are beautiful, even though her camouflage seems to be malfunctioning. She stands out against the blue of the deep, her brightly colored skin patterns nothing like what's around her. She also lacks any tentacles besides those that look drawn on her legs. Her head is crowned with delicate pink wisps. I wonder what they do. Could there be hidden poison barbs? The color leads me to believe so.

Maybe she's not afraid because her mate is nearby? She's relaxed as her bubble drops further and further into the depths of the sea. The women of my people, the Andjin, are constantly in hiding. Kidnapping a potential mate, while barbaric, isn't unheard of.

Males outnumber females ten to one, which is the entire reason for the time I've spent in the wilderness—to prove myself worthy of a mate.

When she speaks her soft nonsensical words, the suppression of my translator chip makes is impossible for us to understand each other. While it's true that my people prefer a simpler life than many in this universe, we do rely on tech more than most would like to admit. However, any tech to assist me is forbidden during my proving. It's considered unnecessary for my current mission—a distraction.

We must go through this trial only as the Great Mother has made us—she provides everything we need during this test.

The female's voice is sweet and melodic as she tells me her name with the strangest hit of anxiety. At first, I think it's a reaction to me, but I quickly realize she has no control over her bubble's descent.

Leeenuh needs my help.

A charge floods through my body, my camouflage shifting quickly to hide me in the open waters. The school of yellow dredlin disperses from around us. As they part, the scripiat makes itself known. It bellows, rushing for the female, its maw spread wide.

I wrap my foretentacles around Leeenuh's rugged enclosure, pushing the muscles in my legs to their limit as I drag her toward the shallows.

The beast's large body is only supported by the pressures of the deeper waters. If we can ascend quickly enough, we'll escape.

I know my camouflage is shifting wildly with my efforts, but there's no point in trying to deceive the scripiat. The female will be dead in the water if we can't outswim him.

With a sick crunching noise, I hear its jaws break into the bubble. Frantically I spin, praying to the Great Mother that I don't find her split in half.

As the bubbles clear, I see her body spinning in the currents, luckily still in one piece.

"Leeenuh, hold on!" I yell as I dive and hoist her into my arms. "We only need to get a bit higher—he can't survive in the shallows!"

She doesn't respond, but I put my hand behind her head and pump my legs furiously to ascend. I fan the webbing of my hands and toes and use their resistance against the water to move even more quickly.

I can feel the pressure shift in my body, and I know that despite the roars below us, we've evaded the danger.

"We are safe!" I whisper to Leeenuh.

She doesn't calm down. She pushes against me, sputtering and choking. Her eyes shut, and her head lolls. I pat her cheek hard, trying my best to wake her. My hand runs down her neck to support her head. Her skin is soft and smooth…and her neck is free of gills.

This female isn't aquatic.

Of course, she's not. Why would she be in an air-filled bubble under the waves if she was? I curse my stupidity and rush to break the surface of the water.

Please don't let me be too late.

The spray of the waves kisses my face with salty droplets as I make my body switch from its underwater breathing. Water rushes from my gills, running in thick rivulets down the cords of my neck.

Treading the water, the female limp in my arms, I head toward the jagged outcropping of the island. Porous, iridescent mineral formations litter the breeding gound. These pockets of space are the caves in which we build our nests.

The current provides the final push, beaching us both on the rocky shore. She's underneath me, not breathing. Her lips change from pink to blue.

I turn Leeenuh onto her side and thump my fist on her back. She's lifeless for only a second, but it feels much longer. When she finally ejects the water from her lungs, her normal breathing patterns return. Her swollen chest rises and falls as the wet fabric of her bodysuit sticks obscenely to her skin.

She coughs, and I turn her head to the side, letting the salt water work its way out of her lungs. Her body shudders, and she slumps her shoulder blades back onto the rocks.

Leeenuh's mouth opens, letting a string of raspy words fall out.

"I don't understand. I'm sorry, Leeenuh…"

She coughs again, color flooding her once-pale face.

She grips my biceps with her hands, her nails digging into my flesh, and she pulls herself to sit. I can feel her lips move next to the sensitive lobe of my ear. I wrap my arms around her torso to support her weak attempt.

"Kitaico…" she whimpers before slumping, her back arching over my arms.

Something stirs inside my chest—breathing in her scent and holding her tiny frame against my body causes something to snap into place. That small twinge multiplies quickly, turning into one all-consuming thought.

Protect.

I have to get Leeenuh back to the nearby nest. I have to keep her safe…

She's still drifting in and out when she coughs again.

I'll have to breathe for her to get her to the nest. If she is mated, touching her so intimately would be unforgivable.

I hitch her up against me, her head falling into the hollow of my neck. Joined together as one, we slide back into the sea.

I shake her roughly enough to get her attention, even though it pains me to handle her so. She has a translator chip, so I tell her my plans.

"We're going somewhere safe. It's not far, but we must swim." She stares at me, her eyes open but lids heavy. "I will breathe for you. Do you trust me?"

She cocks her head, furrowing her brows. A silence passes between us, one that feels much longer than it likely is.

She nods, setting her jaw. More strange words fall from her lips, and she wraps her legs around the small of my back. Our hips are pressing tightly against each other. For the first time since I began the Great Proving, I am self-conscious of my nakedness. Clothing, much like tech, is unnecessary during my trials. I make a conscious effort to control my mating crest. The feelers ache to explore whatever lays beneath her thin body suit. To open her sex as if she was my own kind, to mate her, to rut her, to—I stop myself, curling the tips of my tentacles back toward my hardening cock.

Miming a deep breath for Leeenuh to follow, I switch to aquatic breathing. I grimace as my gills fill again. They stretch and ache with the rush of water. The waves lick at our heads as we dip beneath its surface.

My feet press off the sharp side of the island. Leeenuh's cheeks puff outward as she holds her breath. I scan the watery expanse, looking for challengers to my…no, she's not mine. I shake my head in an attempt to clear it.

I haven't proven myself—I am undeserving.

She blows fat bubbles from her nose, and I quickly place my mouth over hers and breathe. She parts her pillowy pink lips and accepts the air I give her.

I linger over her mouth longer than I need to. My entire body tingles in anticipation of something I cannot ask Leeenuh to give me. As I pull away, I see the entrance to my nest.

The perimeter of the cave"s opening is decorated with the scales of the scripiat—the blue glinting against the iridescent purple of the island formation.

Pulling her tightly against me, I embark on the winding and narrow tunnel toward the nest's opening.

Cresting into the air pocket, Leeenuh gasps.

At first, it's for air, but as her eyes adjust, her mouth gapes at her surroundings.

Worog worms hang from the cavern's high ceiling, their purple glow illuminating the space. Their light reflects off Leeenuh's wide green eyes, the white portion of them now an angry red. Maybe her camouflage is eye based.

Only a few months are left of my proving, and my nest is nearly complete. Jewel-toned tapestries woven from dried miyhu weeds decorate the walls. They're patterns similar to the skin I was born in—a nest is not a place you should have to hide or camouflage.

I gently set her on the pool's lip, even though something inside me screams to show her more.

I want to lift the tapestry behind me and show her the dried dredlin and nuite fruit stores. Tell her I've tapped the spring from above, so fresh water will run when the cap is removed. I want her to approve of it all.

I ignore every instinct except one.

Pulling my body onto the stone floor, I lift Leeenuh and carry her to the sleeping nook. The rocks form a natural pocket, big enough for two Andjin. The bedding is fresh, as I just completed it yesterday morning. I lay her down, pulling the woven miyhu blanket over her body.

"Rest," I tell her, tucking the edge of the blanket under her chin.

For a moment, she looks like she might fight me, but I think she's too exhausted. Leeenuh sighs and wiggles her body deeper into the bedding, her scent filling the space.

As I move to the other side of the cavern, near a secondary seawater pool, she begins whispering things I can't understand.

"Sleep, Leeenuh. We can figure all of this out once you're rested."

She nods, closing her eyes. I can hear her breathing slow as she succumbs to sleep. My muscles ache from the exertion of her rescue. I pretend to inspect the pool, but instead, I run through a mental list of everything I would ask for her approval on.

Those thoughts are nothing more than folly.

We are different, she is not mine. She could even be mated to another. I am not yet even worthy of a mate.

Mate—the word feels bitter on my tongue.

"Leeenuh," I whisper as I dip my hands into the underwater garden that, just yesterday, I hoped my future mate would use as our nursery.

Leeenuh.