12. I Can’t Promise You That

When I come to,I can already tell that my body isn't wrecked like I was after the first heat. Sure, I'm pleasantly sore, but I don't feel like I've dragged my pussy across a rough carpet all night.

I feel kind of, I don't know, good? Maybe relaxed is the better word.

Though my ankles and wrists are still secured, the restraints are looser than they were last night. I lie toward the top edge of the bed while his body is opposite mine. I cast my eyes down to where Kitaico sleeps, curled around my thighs. His yellow head rests on my lap while the brothers wrap around my middle in some kind of protective hold.

He looks exhausted as he lies on his back. His once engorged dick is tucked behind the tentacles that surround it.

It might be strange, but I'm weirdly proud of the fact that we're covered in his release, the faint purple streaking both our bellies. I enjoyed myself, but should I have? Is it wrong to find pleasure from each other when I know he wants more?

I think I wanted to give him a bit of happiness, like a reward. Fuck me if he didn't earn it. As if him giving me my release is some antidote to the heat's brain fog, I can remember most of what took place last night—and most of those memories are of multiple orgasms.

His foretentacles stroke along my breast as if they're not really awake, and Kitaico fidgets in his sleep.

As the brothers work my nipples, I'm brought back to when they were plunging into me. When I said he could touch me with his tentacles and hands, I didn't think about his tentacles penetrating me—but I won't pretend I didn't like it.

They worked me in absolutely delicious ways that I'm not sure a cock could. I clench the muscles of my sex as I think about how they coiled inside me. One of the brothers fucked me senseless, while the other stroked my G-spot until I squirted.

I can say, with complete confidence, that I was convinced squirting wasn't something I could do. Until last night, no other male, human or alien, has ever made me feel like Kitaico did.

But for as good as it was, I could tell we both wanted more. In the haze of the heat, I wanted him to fuck me. Something primal inside me wanted him to ignore my rules and to fuck me until his cum leaked down my thighs.

Just the thought of his purple seed dripping down my legs has heat pooling at my core. I'm not sure where the fuck this newfound breeding kink is coming from, but I'd put my money on the heat-inducing venom still pulsing through my veins.

Kitaico groans, arching his back and pulling in a deep breath. As the air hits his lungs, his eyes shoot open. He blinks rapidly, attempting to clear the sleep from his vision.

"Did I sleep so long it's already time for your next heat?" he asks in a panic.

"What? No…Why on earth would you think that?" I ask before I feel the tiny bead of wetness drip down my thigh.

Oh, because he can probably smell you getting turned on.

Shaking my head no, I press my thighs together, hoping to conceal the aroma I'm sure he's already smelled.

Kitaico turns to me, tilting his head and cocking a brow as he examines my face.

"You certainly don't seem as enthusiastic as you did earlier…despite how good you smell." He rushes the last part out as he stands. His once soft cock seems to be reacting to my scent as it bulges past the swath of tentacles.

"Thank you for allowing me that…that experience last night, Leeenuh. I will treasure it always," he whispers as he leans over me, his arms reaching for my bound wrist.

"No problem." I gulp, keeping myself from letting his mere presence arouse me any further.

I think unsexy thoughts as he frees my first wrist. Baseball, the way my Great-Aunt Mildred"s house smelled, Old Yeller, algebra…

"If you'll allow it, I think adding my tongue to the list of things allowed to pleasure you would be very good for both of us." Kitaico's breath fans over my neck as he unties my other hand.

"Oh, yeah sure, totally…" Imagining his tongue on my pussy is not helping this situation at all.

He pulls back, trying to grasp what I'm saying.

"Would that be alright, Leeenuh?" Kitatico asks in earnest.

I can't meet his gaze, so I cast my eyes down and nod. I hate the blush spreading from my chest to my cheeks.

If he's as good with his tongue as he was with his other limbs, I might not be able to wait until the next heat.

When my wrists are both free, I wrap the blanket tightly around my shoulders. I take a deep breath and let the thought I just had hit me.

Am I fucking hot for Kitaico, beyond the venom?

Do I want more than sex with the bizarre, thoughtful, attractive, tentacled alien that is stretching in front of me now?

I wrack my brain for any inkling of this being from a chemical reaction from the sting or something more.

Kitaico pads over to the other side of the cave to the "shower," flexing the sinewy muscles of his sides, and letting the water hit his rock-hard abdominal muscles. He tilts his chin back, splashing the water over his face and through the tentacles on his head. He rubs his hand over the dried purple remnants of his cum on his stomach, washing the evidence of our time together back into the ocean beyond the relief hole.

My chest tightens and I suddenly feel as though I'm spying on Kitaico. It's not like getting me off wasn't intimate, but there's something telling me that to look at him now is wrong.

Maybe I should look away, but for as intimate as his actions are, it doesn't feel like I shouldn't be part of them. My mouth parts, and I breathe a little heavier as he grips his cock and pushes the last bit of leaking seed from its tip. He steps out, shaking the water from his head's tentacles before he catches me gawking at him.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I should have offered this to you first." He frowns. "Would you like to clean up?"

I nod and rush over to where the alien Adonis stands, still dripping with water.

I didn't think that the water wasn't going to be warm, and I rush into the steady stream that falls down the cave's wall. I yelp as it makes contact with my skin, the cold causing the hairs on my body to stand on end.

Before I have time to adjust, Kitaico"s arms and the brothers wrap tightly around me, shielding me from the chill of the makeshift shower.

"It's cold, I thought you knew." He chuckles as I shiver. "Deep breaths, Leeenuh."

He still absorbs the brunt of the cold water as he runs his hands over the bottom of my belly. Kitaico splashes more of the water over my skin to remove the purple marks he left there last night.

I wish they would dip lower, I wish he would?—

"I could arrange for a hot bath tonight, if you think you're up for it?" He says softly as he works his fingers into my hair and massages the nape of my neck until I'm slumping against his firm chest. "We'd have to travel a short distance to the surface, but I'm confident it will be quick enough that your human lungs won't struggle."

A head massage? A warm bath?

Maybe it's not the venom…maybe Kitaico is just a fucking gem.

"Yes." I nod, letting myself sag further back into him, the tension of my neck muscles melting away.

"I like taking care of you, you know," he whispers as he guides me away from the water, grabbing a fresh woven blanket and shimmying it over my body to dry me. He spins me to face him, rubbing the cloth over my hair.

When Kitaico pushes my hair back, he lets down his usual polite facade. His eyes are intense, and they darken as he speaks. "Even if I never bear your mating mark, this could be enough. I would devote myself to you, Leeenuh."

"Oh," is all my brain can get together.

Is that what I want?

I want to fuck him, I know that.

"I can't promise you that, Kitaico." My voice cracks. "I like you…but this situation is fucked. You're so much kinder than the Deenz, but I might need some breathing room before I commit to anything long term." It pains me to be honest, even if I know he can't understand me.

His brows knit in confusion—for Chrissakes, I can't even communicate to him properly.

If he's implying what I think he's proposing, it hits me one thousand times harder than the cold water. Forever, in a cave, with albeit a delightful alien gentleman, isn't how my story is supposed to go.

"Go slower," I say, my hands raised and pushing him away slightly. "We'll talk"—I mime my hands speaking to each other—"once your translator chip is turned back on."

I bring my finger to his head and tap where I think his chip would be, where it is on me, at least.

"I'm sorry." He plays it off as though he didn't just offer to dedicate his life to me, wraps me in the towel, and turns back to his stores as though he's looking for something.

"God, don't be sorry, Kitaico. You deserve someone better than a lost bubble babe, someone who can give you what you want. A real mate." I put my hand on his shoulder.

He covers my hand with his own and looks back at me.

"What is it?" he asks.

"Never mind." I place an apologetic kiss on his fingers. I can feel him freeze as my lips touch his skin—its patterns shift to a deep purple that creeps up his arm.

There's no way to mime the conflict I feel about the sweet alien right now. This conversation is going to have to wait.

I shuffle to the other side of the cave, sitting next to the shallow pool that Kitaico normally sleeps in. I trace my fingers through the teal water, my mating mark tingling as I do.

For as good as he makes me feel, and as well as he treats me, maybe we're just too different.

There's a part of me holding onto the idea that one day I might be able to go home—which feels like a delusion after hearing about the few girls who escaped the Deenz. Earth is off-limits for everyone but the alien hivemind that trafficked me here.

I glance over my shoulder to see Kitaico staring at me before he quickly looks away.

Maybe if I had any control over my life and how I ended up here, it would be different. I could give him what he wants, and I could give in to these feelings that are rooting deep inside of me.

Maybe.