Chapter 34

34

The final week of the Arrowmile internship arrives all too quickly. I receive a few curious or pitying looks from people in the office after the email leak, but nobody really brings it up; and when it becomes common knowledge that I'm only a first-year and technically not eligible for the internship, people only comment that my application must have been very impressive, and I take that as a win.

As the other interns wind down and enjoy long lunches, I work at breakneck pace trying to finish things I started rather than handing them over.

Old habits die hard.

But I haven't been staying so late at the office anymore. Elaine and the others are determined not to let me; and I'm easily swayed when Lloyd is there to tempt me away to enjoy summer evenings in the city with him, packing three months' worth of dates into a couple of weeks with trips to museums, the zoo, art exhibits neither of us really "get," ice cream shops, and even a trip to the theater. I spend a good chunk of the money I was trying so hard to save all summer, but can't bring myself to regret a penny of it—not when it means these memories with Lloyd.

There are still the final presentations to focus on, though, showing off everything we've done during the internship to managers and board members. It's meant to be a final chance to get seen, to push us outside of our comfort zone one last time. Something to add to our future job applications or, hopefully, to impress the folks at Arrowmile enough to secure ourselves an offer when we graduate.

Izzy has a full breakdown the night before, and when Louis and I go to check on her, we find Monty pacing the hallway and muttering to himself as he recites his presentation from a series of flash cards, looking stressed out for once. Dylan keeps sending pictures of his slides to the group chat and asking if they make sense or are too technical or if we think he's included too many jokes.

The big day arrives whether we're ready or not, though, and the entire twelfth floor has been dedicated to the Arrowmile interns showcasing our summer. Desks have been pushed aside and chairs lined up in haphazard rows facing a large screen near the windows.

Everyone has ten minutes to present, plus ten minutes for questions afterward. Nadja warns us to keep to the time limit—because she will cut us off if we go over, which isn't a terrifying concept at all.

I take a seat with a few of the others near the back. It's alphabetical, which means Elaine, Dylan, and I are among those who get to torture ourselves with nerves and adrenaline waiting for our slots in the afternoon.

For all our nerves, though, the day runs smoothly, and nobody has too much to worry about beyond tripping over their words slightly or fumbling to answer a question coherently. Freya has technical issues when her laptop decides not to connect to the projector, but she gamely starts without a PowerPoint behind her until someone fixes it, and Verity talks so fast her presentation is done in five minutes flat, but she dazzles during the questions afterward.

When it's my turn, my heart is in my throat and my mouth feels fuzzy, like it's been stuffed full of cotton wool. I've rehearsed plenty, but as I stand there in front of this huge crowd of important, influential people in this impressive company, knowing this could be what my future hinges on, the entire thing suddenly turns into an out-of-body experience.

I smooth out my Elle Woods-confidence-infused pink dress, take a breath, force myself to smile, and say, "Hi, everybody. My name is Anna Sherwood…"

And the next thing I know I'm sitting down with my laptop on my lap and Elaine is squeezing my arm, whispering, "You did so great! That was amazing!" and Dylan is on my other side saying, "Bloody hell, Anna, when did you have time to do all that? Talk about a tough act to follow…. Wish me luck!" Then he gets up to take my place at the front of the room.

I tune him out as he sets up and starts talking, trying to filter out the static that's taken over my brain. I recall my steady voice talking methodically through my slides and the surge of panic when Nadja cleared her throat for my two-minute warning, and everyone laughing at my blunt reply when one of the managers asked if I felt like I was too much of a people pleaser.

I think—no, I know it went well.

I relax, the mood in the room helping set me at ease as people chuckle at Dylan's dorky jokes or hum with interest. Finally feeling back to normal, I look over my shoulder and spot Lloyd standing a few rows back, leaning his shoulder against a wall, his arms crossed over his chest.

He looks nervous, too, but gives me a thumbs-up— good job.

Thanks, I mouth back, then nod and give him a reassuring smile. He puffs out a breath, blowing some of the hair up from his forehead, then smiles back. Still nervous, but ready.

The last presentation wraps up and the applause is louder this time—for all of us, and because it means this long day is over.

Nadja begins to get out of her seat, but I beat her to it, bolting from my spot in the front row with the other interns presenting this afternoon and then turning to face the crowd once more.

"Hi, everyone, sorry. If you could just all stay seated for a second…" I look around with an expectant smile, clasping my hands in front of me so nobody will notice they're shaking, and trying my best to exude an authority I most definitely do not possess.

But people hesitate, and stay where they are.

"Thanks. So, um, as I think most of you are probably aware, up until recently, there were fifteen of us in the internship program. But, um, due to some, um, unfortunate, um, circumstances…"

I'm saying "um" too much. I look like an amateur. I'm losing them. I'm screwing this up.

I notice Monty near the back looking at me like I've lost it, or like he's hoping I'll announce a round of shots. He pulls a face as if to say, Fuck if I know, but then gives me two thumbs-up anyway. Next to him, Verity gives me an encouraging nod.

I've got this. I can do this.

"I thought there was someone else here who could use that empty slot, now that that other intern has left."

Nadja purses her lips, frowning at me, but she doesn't try to stop me. Topher is whispering something to her, and looking less than eager to see where this is going.

I look away from them and at Lloyd—and then wave him over to take his spot at the front. Heads turn and whispers rush through the crowd. Lloyd says a quiet thanks to me as we pass each other when I return to my seat, and plugs his laptop into the projector before anybody has really had a chance to get their head around this change in the program.

He looks at Nadja, though, as if waiting for permission.

Topher looks irritated, and more than a little apprehensive.

Nadja shrugs and tells Lloyd, "Well, it's unconventional, but…Why not? You know the drill: ten minutes to present, ten for Q he's the man of the moment, and they want a piece of him, too. But it isn't my place to share his secrets, even if there aren't very many left to keep for him: it must be obvious to everyone from the way Topher spoke to him that there's an underlying tension in their relationship, and that he hasn't given Lloyd's ideas the time of day before.

When Lloyd doesn't reappear after fifteen minutes, Monty suggests we make the most of the early finish and head to the pub. Nobody argues, and I text Lloyd to let him know where to find us later, if he wants.

I hope he does; I hope it's going okay, and that he's not in trouble.

Everybody forgets about Lloyd's surprise presentation when they start dissecting how their own went. Conversations start to overlap, making it hard to focus on any one of them, so I sit quietly with one eye on the door until, finally, Lloyd arrives. He spots me instantly and makes a beeline for our table, looking a little drained and a little wired. Coming down from an adrenaline rush—although I'm not sure yet if it was the good kind or not. His shoulders are slumped and he scrubs a hand through his hair, but when he reaches us, he breaks into a grin.

"What're you all sitting around staring for? I thought we were celebrating! Anybody need another drink?"

"How'd it go?" Dylan bursts out, and Elaine shuffles over to make space for the extra chair Burnley is bringing for Lloyd.

Freya asks, "What happened?"

And Louis wants to know, "Did they oust your dad and declare you the new CEO of Arrowmile?"

Lloyd laughs, bracing his hands on the back of the chair Burnley gives him but not sitting down yet. He looks more relaxed than he did a moment ago—and definitely lighter than he did throughout his presentation. The weight of the world is off his shoulders, for a little while at least.

He fills us in on what happened after we left. A couple of people from the labs and Dylan's R he thought it was a good idea. Said he'll back me, if it causes trouble with Dad. Apparently, I've had his back enough times that he owes me."

Lloyd looks tired, worn down, but his smile is earnest and there's a gleam in his eyes. My hand slips up his arm to his shoulder and he draws me in a little closer, his hand settling on my hip. His thumb brushes over my dress in slow arcs, sending tingles through my whole body.

"Thanks, Annalise."

"I didn't do anything."

"Yes, you did. I couldn't have done this without you."

"You sure about that, Fletcher? I can't imagine you having a hard time using that inflated ego of yours to get your way eventually."

He smirks a little, but the look in his eyes is more serious. "I mean it. I was playing it safe. Too busy being ‘the golden boy' to rock the boat. Thanks for reminding me who I am. Who I want to be."

"And who's that?"

Instead of replying, Lloyd smiles at me—close-lipped and full of mischief, because the answer to that question is a secret we both know, and he kisses me.

And it's wonderful.