37. Gage

37

GAGE

G age's heart jerked to a halt. Please let her be alive. Please let her be alive.

Travis lifted his head and turned to them. The expression on his face didn't reveal anything as he waved them over.

Gage broke into a run, keeping his attention locked on Hadley as he jumped over anything in his path.

God, please save her. I need her. Please.

Travis lifted a hand to stop Gage before he got too close. "Don't move her until more paramedics arrive. We need to make sure she doesn't have internal bleeding or punctured lungs."

Gage fell to his knees at her side. "Is she okay?"

"I don't know. She's conscious, but she's in a lot of pain. She's trying to stay very still."

Nothing about her looked okay. Her long hair was wet and stuck to the ground and her shoulders. The skin just below her eyes was dark, and her closed eyes were slightly squinted in pain.

"Talk to me, sunshine. Please say something."

Her eyes opened, and a rush of air fled from his lungs. Just seeing her bright-green eyes brought his dying soul back to life. Something in his chest hitched. Her pain clawed at his insides, sending everything in his gut roiling.

"She might not want to talk," Travis said. "She landed mostly in the water, but I think her back hit one of the river rocks."

The river. She'd fallen into the river. Looking around, most of the river had large rocks and boulders in it, forcing the water to rush around the obstacles. If she'd landed mostly in the water, Rome had pushed her well into the middle of the chasm.

Rome. He lay frozen on the rocks with his blood being dragged along with the rushing water.

Travis handed Hadley's wrist over to Gage and stood. "I should go check him out."

Gage tried to keep his grip on Hadley's hand light, but his own hands were shaking. Focusing on the steady pulse against his fingers, he swallowed hard and whispered, "I'm sorry."

"I'm okay." Her words were soft but sure as she blinked her eyes and focused her gaze on him. "I didn't fall on anything. I got pushed into a rock after. It's not that bad, but Travis said I should stay still until the other paramedics get here."

"You're not okay. I can't believe I let this happen. I should have been there."

"It's not your fault. You can't just stop living your life to watch over me all the time."

Gage closed his eyes. Where had he heard that before?

Thea. He'd failed her too. He'd opened his heart to someone despite knowing it was a risk, and now the ones he cared about were hurt–taking his punishment.

"I would. I would do anything for you. I'm sorry," he whispered as he rested his forehead against their clasped hands.

Hadley gripped his hand. "Stop. I love you."

Gage shook his head. The mistakes he'd made were all gathering, ganging up on him for one big payback. "That's a mistake. I don't have anything to offer you, and all I've done is cause you pain."

"Stop it," she whispered. "I get to make my own decisions, and I choose you. I choose us."

The burn in his throat was unbearable. He needed to either throw up his guts or throw himself into the unforgiving river.

"Are you okay?" Hadley asked low.

No. Not even close. "I'm fine."

Mr. Benson paced somewhere behind Gage, on the phone detailing directions to their location out in the middle of the wilderness.

"What happened? I mean, after I fell. I heard screaming and gunshots."

Shaking his head, Gage cradled her hand to his chest as he leaned closer to her. "We'll talk about it later."

"Gage, that doesn't ease any of my worries. Just tell me."

"Nobody was shot. Rome kept missing." That was a small truth he was happy to reveal. Gage had some minor scrapes from rolling around on the forest floor, but that was it.

It wasn't fair. He should be the one lying in pain. Not Hadley.

Gage had only missed those bullets that had been meant for him because Mr. Benson had been there to hit Rome in the head like a batter peeling the cover off a baseball. Gage's brush with death hadn't really registered yet. He was still trying to process Rome's lifeless body lying on a rock in the river.

"Where is he?" she asked.

"Who?"

"Rome. Did he get away?"

Man, what he wouldn't give to skip this conversation. Hadley's heart was kind enough that she wouldn't wish death on anyone, even the man who tried to end her own life .

"No. We got him. He won't hurt you anymore."

Travis made his way back over to them and crouched on Hadley's other side. The small shake of his head told Gage his assumption about Rome was correct. He was dead and gone, never to hurt them again.

The same fate might be waiting for Gage. Being locked up for murder wasn't a far cry from death. Losing Hadley and the life he'd been building with her was an end in itself.

Mr. Benson's shadow loomed over Hadley as he approached. "They're only about five minutes out. Hang on, Hadley."

"I'm okay," she said back with a tight smile. Even her best efforts couldn't hide the evidence of her pain.

"I'm right here with you. I won't leave you," Gage promised.

His jaw tightened until his teeth ached. He might not have a choice if the police arrested him for manslaughter before they even loaded Hadley into an ambulance.

He was destined to fail her, and not even his best efforts could make things right.

A call came from over the rise, and Mr. Benson scrambled through fallen trees to signal the first responder team. Dawson was the first one to crest the hill with Asa close behind him. Several paramedics wearing bright red carried bags of medical equipment on their shoulders.

Dawson turned his head to speak into the radio on his shoulder. He took one look at Rome before locking eyes with Gage.

The sinking feeling was back in his chest. So much for paving a new way. Every alliance he'd made in the last few months just went up in smoke.

Dawson carefully walked to where Gage sat beside Hadley and waved the medical team over. "Is she okay?"

"Need to rule out internal bleeding or punctured lung. Also spinal injuries," Travis said.

Dawson squatted beside Gage at Hadley's side. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm really okay," Hadley assured with a half-smile.

Looking up at Travis, then Gage, Dawson asked, "What happened?"

When Gage didn't speak, Travis took over. He recounted the story to the officers, while Gage focused on keeping his lunch from rioting out of his stomach. He couldn't even hear Travis's explanation over the war drum pounding in his ears.

A weight pressed on Gage's shoulder. He looked up to see Dawson's hand resting there. They'd gotten off to a rocky start, and Gage had almost convinced Dawson to trust him .

Almost.

"Are you okay? Do you need a medic?" Dawson asked.

"No. I'm fine." It was the hard truth. He was sitting here like a completely normal person, while Hadley lay unnaturally still as the paramedics assessed her vitals.

"Is what Travis said true?" Dawson asked.

Gage shrugged. "I don't know what he said. I wasn't listening."

"I get it. We'll go over that later. Just hang tight while they get Hadley taken care of."

Watching as the men and women fussed over Hadley was torture. He couldn't do anything to help her. His hands might as well be tied behind his back.

Granted, they might be cuffed soon. He deserved it.

"Hey," Dawson said beside him.

Gage turned his attention to Dawson, blinking back the fog clouding his vision. "Yeah."

"What can I do to help?" Dawson asked.

"What do you mean?"

Dawson pointed to Hadley. "They're doing their jobs and taking care of her. What do you need?"

"I'm not injured," Gage reminded him.

"No, I mean what's on your mind. I assume you're worried about Hadley, but she's in good hands. What else is runnin' through your head? "

Gage glanced to the river where the investigation team was still buzzing around Rome.

Dawson put his hand on Gage's back and nudged him to walk. "Let's go over here."

Gage didn't move until Dawson pushed harder.

"We'll stay where you can see her."

At that, Gage followed Dawson to where they stood beside a tree away from the river. He'd made the mess, and now everyone else had to clean it up while he watched.

Dawson propped a shoulder against the tree and faced Gage. "It's gonna be okay. I know it's hard right now, but you have plenty of people to help you through this."

"I don't need help."

"Yes, you do. You might feel responsible for what happened to Rome, but he did this to himself. Travis said Mr. Benson was with you and Rome."

"He was."

"It's self-defense, and there are laws that protect you."

Gage shook his head. "Not when you have a record like I do."

"Your past doesn't have a lot of homicide in it," Dawson reminded him.

"Yeah, but no one is going to believe I didn't just kill him because I wanted to."

"I do. I think I know what happened, and you better believe I would have done the same. "

Gage looked at Dawson, seeing his sincerity for the first time. "No, you wouldn't."

"You forget I have a job where I'm put in that position from time to time."

Gage rubbed a hand over his face. "Man, I'm sorry."

"Somebody has to serve and protect. I'm up to the challenge. Sounds like you were today too."

Did Dawson have to try to justify it when Gage wasn't ready to analyze it yet? His heart was still trying to beat out of his chest, and the air was as thick as old motor oil.

"Let me pray with you," Dawson said.

Gage shook his head. He definitely wasn't ready to face God yet. Not when the blood on his hands hadn't even dried.

"I wasn't asking. I'm gonna pray, and I want you to try to put everything out of your mind and listen."

Something inside Gage still wanted to push against the order, but he gave in and bowed his head.

"Lord, thank You for protecting Gage and Hadley today. Thank You for everyone who showed up to help in the aftermath."

Gage certainly wouldn't have started his prayer off with thanks right now. God was probably packing his bags, ready to leave Gage in the mess he'd made.

"Lord, they're going to need a lot of help now, and I pray You'll lead the right people to their sides. Help me and the rest of our friends stand beside them through everything. Help us to know what they need. Remind Gage that Your love isn't conditional. When things get tough, remind him that You walk through the valley of the shadow of death with him. In all things we praise Your name. Amen."

Gage opened his eyes and blinked in the bright midday sun. How was he supposed to process that prayer? He'd been so wrong about Dawson, but that guilt was fading away. Dawson was putting it behind them and forging a new path. "I appreciate that."

"It won't be the last time I pray for you. You saved Hadley's life today. Don't forget that."

Gage opened his mouth to argue he was the reason she was in danger in the first place, but Dawson raised his hand.

"Don't argue. Focus on the good. Hadley is safe."

Nodding, Gage looked to where the medics had placed a collar around Hadley's neck and were lifting her onto a stiff board. "Thanks, man. I appreciate all you've done."

Dawson clapped a hand on Gage's shoulder. "I'm always here. You're not alone. I'm not an attorney, but I can assure you this investigation won't end with you in jail. Put that out of your mind too." Dawson jerked his head toward the crowd hanging around Hadley. "Let's go see how she's doing."

"Will I be able to go to the hospital with her?" Gage asked .

"Oh yeah. I'll go with you, and we can start getting your statement while she has tests done."

Gage inhaled a deep breath, and the hardness in his chest released the slightest bit. The future didn't seem so bleak after his talk with Dawson and some prayer. At least he'd get to stay beside Hadley today.