25. Gage

25

GAGE

G age turned onto the drive by the Wolf Creek Ranch sign and checked his mirrors. No one was following him. When would the habit of looking over his shoulder go away?

Never. Some instincts don't die.

After weeks of wondering where Hadley lived and worked, he was just going to waltz in the main entrance.

Their lives had been so separate until now. There were still plenty of things he wanted to know about Hadley Morgan, and now he had the freedom to ask.

That street went both ways. If she asked the right questions, she might not like his answers.

You helped your sister once. You're not a hero.

He definitely didn't deserve the happiness Hadley was radiating these days. Talking with the detective and half a dozen officers and agents over the last few days meant he'd laid it all on the line. The things he'd been caught and charged with paled in comparison to the number of things he'd gotten away with over the years. He'd confessed to those too, but only because his lawyer, Camille Harding, had suggested it.

Gage had never trusted anyone who wore a badge or could get him locked up. Coming clean was a long process when the past was as dirty as Gage's.

A long process.

Bringing up buried bones just shed light on things he'd done and shoved behind him. Now, all of those things dimmed the hope he'd been kindling every time Hadley smiled up at him like he could be her hero.

Repeat: Not a hero.

Gage drove up the winding path leading to a group of buildings on a rise. The stretches of the ranch spread out over the land as far as the eye could see, and the sun laid over it all like a warming blanket.

The wide-open spaces were a stark contrast to the dark and wooded reaches of the Howard lands. They needed ample shadows to cover their illegal dealings, and the wilderness usually did the trick.

No wonder Hadley was always so bubbly and optimistic. She woke up every morning, walked out into the sunshine, and carried it with her wherever she went.

Gage passed the check-in office and parked in front of the dining hall. Five other vehicles were in the lot, but Hadley's purple car was gone.

She'd loved that car, and despite the brave face she'd put on these last few days, Gage knew she missed it. Her rental was a small gray sedan, and there wasn't any sign of it either.

It was go-time. He could do this.

Gage stepped out of the truck and took the stairs slowly. No use in rushing into a situation he wasn't even prepared to face. Turning his cap backward, he took one deep breath before opening the door.

He walked inside to see Brett and Thea sitting at one of the many wooden tables in the large room. Their conversation halted as he closed the door behind him.

Thea rose to her feet and started to limp toward him. "You came."

Not wanting her to walk farther than she had to, Gage met her across the room. "You asked me to."

Thea shrugged as he got closer, and the bruises on her face were a wavy mix of yellow, purple, and red. "You don't have to do what I say." She held out her arms and gave him a timid smile.

Gage wasn't the hugging type, but how could he tell her no? Pushing his insecurities down, he hugged her gently. Her entire body seemed to be bruised, bandaged, or braced, and the last thing he wanted was to cause her more pain.

"I missed you," she whispered as she held onto him.

"Missed you too." A memory of Thea's screams from the day at the garage flashed in his mind, stunning him out of the perfect present. "I'm sorry."

"You did everything you could."

Gage knew their dad hit Thea, but the old man was cunning enough to do it when Gage was gone. "I should have been there for you."

Thea leaned back, releasing him from the hug. "You were. You did everything you could. It wasn't like you could stop your life and follow me around all the time. I don't blame you for anything."

But she should. He carried trouble around like gum on the bottom of his boot. "Just because they're gone for now doesn't mean this is going to be easy."

Thea rolled her eyes. "I know, but you can let me have this brief happiness."

Gage hung his head. "You're right. I'm sorry."

She playfully slapped his shoulder. "I forgive you for everything you think you did. Now, can we start over?"

Forgiveness. That was a theme that kept popping up to remind him of his failures when he least expected it. How could a concept that basically meant erasing the past keep haunting him? "I'm all about starting over these days. Turning over a new leaf. Whatever you want to call it."

The door behind him opened, and Hadley walked in. As soon as she saw him, her entire face lit up like a child watching a firework show. She jogged over to him, keeping her left arm tucked close to her middle. When she reached him, she launched straight at him, and he gently wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Hey," she whispered against the shell of his ear, sending a surge of warmth straight to his bones.

He nuzzled against her neck. "How's my sunshine?"

"Uncomfortable, but I'll survive." She dropped her hands to her sides. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah. Emerson should be right behind me."

His truck was full of Emerson's stuff waiting to be moved into Hadley's house. After hearing Emerson was still living in a house her dad owned, Hadley offered up her extra bedroom. Mr. Chambers even gave Emerson a job working in the kitchen at the ranch when the season started.

"We'll wait for her and head on over," Brett said.

Hadley grabbed Gage's hand and led him toward the door. "Let's get to work. We can unload the boxes, and she can unpack when she gets here."

Why was Hadley always first to volunteer to help? She didn't know anything about Emerson, and Gage wasn't convinced the two would get along. Yet, Hadley quickly decided that Emerson should be her new roommate now that Thea had moved out.

"You sure about this?" Gage asked as he followed her to his truck.

"How many times are you gonna ask me that?"

"Probably a dozen more. Emerson is kinda hard to get along with."

Hadley turned around to show him how hard she could roll her eyes. "I get along with Jess. I think I can handle anyone at this point."

"That's because you're determined to like people. Not everyone thinks that way." He'd already had many talks with Emerson trying to convince her not to screw this up, but she couldn't just change her whole personality overnight.

Emerson was like a rose minus the petals. Just thorns.

"Then I'll be agreeable enough for the both of us."

Hadley jumped in the passenger side of his truck. "Come on, hot stuff. We're wastin' daylight."

Hot stuff. There wasn't a minute that went by when Gage wasn't amazed at how Hadley's mind worked. She always knew the right thing to say, and failure just wasn't an option. He loved that about her.

But he'd failed her in so many ways, and as much as she tried to convince him he was "good," the label wasn't sticking.

He walked around the truck and got in. "Where to?"

"Head back that way." She pointed to the road leading back out of the ranch.

He followed Hadley's directions past the stables, a rodeo arena, and a pavilion to a quieter area. The path continued over a few small hills until a row of cabins came into view.

"It's that one," Hadley said, pointing out the windshield.

The cabin was small with a porch on the front and a chimney on the side. The grass was worn down right in front of the porch in an area big enough to fit two vehicles. "Nice place."

"I love it. These cabins are new, and just the right size for two people to live comfortably. Well, I guess if you had a lot of stuff it would be a tight fit, but I don't need much, so." She shrugged one shoulder and grinned up at him.

"Emerson doesn't have a lot either. We'll have everything moved in with one more load."

"Supper should be ready by then. Will you stay and eat with us?"

They got out and met at the back of the truck where Gage lowered the tailgate. He wasn't the assimilating type. His acquaintances were few and far between, and those connections mostly stemmed from a code of loyalty and favors they owed each other.

"Who is us ?"

"A few of us who work here. Maybe a dozen."

Gage pulled out the first box and stacked it on top of another. "Can you get the door?"

"Oh, sure."

She headed for the front door, and Gage successfully put off responding to her invitation. He didn't belong here–didn't belong in the same galaxy as Hadley. She was a model of goodness, and the more time he spent with her, the more he saw their contrasts.

You don't deserve her.

The voice kept echoing in his mind. Everyone could see it, and even though he'd never cared one bit about what people thought about him, he did care what people thought of Hadley. She didn't need a gray cloud hanging over her sunshine.

He carried the boxes inside and turned to Hadley. "Where do you want these?"

She pointed to an open door. "That room over there."

Gage put the boxes down and went back for another load. Hadley stood at the tailgate, pulling a box toward the edge.

"Hold up. You're not carrying anything," he said as he approached.

Hadley frowned up at him. "I can carry some. "

"You have an injured shoulder. Plus, I'm here. You don't work while I'm around."

She propped her hand on her hip and jutted it out with a little attitude. "I'm not helpless."

Gage leaned in until their noses were inches apart. Hadley sucked in a deep breath, and her eyes widened.

"Go sit down. Please."

Hadley's eyes softened, and the tension seeped from her shoulders. "Okay, but only because you asked so nicely." She lifted up and pressed a kiss to his lips. "I'll make some sweet tea."

Watching her walk away, a heavy kick thudded in his chest. They didn't match, and no matter what he did, he couldn't bridge that gap between them. It was too wide. Hadley deserved the best of everything, and he didn't have much. He could offer her protection and loyalty.

Could he even love her? He barely understood the concept. He knew how to be nice to her and help her whenever she needed it. He knew how to be faithful.

Honesty? He'd never been genuine with anyone until her. The thought of lying to her made his stomach turn.

Yes, he could be honest with her, but to what extent? He couldn't tell her about the awful things he'd done and expect her to be okay with it.

Maybe that would be the kicker. He'd finally tell her something she couldn't stand, and she'd hightail it out of whatever relationship was getting started between them.

He carried another load inside and turned to get another. Hadley stood in the bedroom doorway with a guarded expression on her face.

"Are you okay?" she softly asked.

There was that request for honesty rearing its ugly head. How could he explain to her that he'd always been a screw-up and that wouldn't change?

"Just thinking about a lot. It's been a long week."

Hadley rested her delicate hand on his chest and slid it up and over his shoulder. "You want to skip supper here tonight and maybe just go out with Brett, Thea, and Emerson when we finish up?"

Gage nodded. "That sounds good."

Her hand on the back of his neck gently tugged him down until their lips met. Closing his eyes and breathing in her joy sent a buzz tingling up his spine. Holding Hadley chased away the ache he always carried in his chest.

By the time she broke the kiss, his head was overflowing with so much happiness–more than he'd ever experienced—it was as if she'd charged him like a battery.

She smiled up at him, pleased again, even after compromising what she wanted to make him happy. "Maybe we can get lost on Red Bend after. "

Man, spending time alone with Hadley was an offer he couldn't refuse.

Selfish.

He wasn't being honest. She had no idea what she was getting into, and he didn't have the strength to walk away.