29. Parents Do Those Things

29

PARENTS DO THOSE THINGS

“ T hat was a little rough,” Laken said when they were in the car.

Jamie started it and pulled away. “It was a mistake to come here, but at least you can understand more now and why I am how I am.”

“I’m sorry you had to deal with that when you were younger and even now as an adult.”

“Not as sorry as I am you witnessed it,” he said.

She hated that he felt that way.

“Hey, my mother tried to get me to start a fight with you,” she said. “Parents do those things.”

“Not even close to the same thing, Laken. You know it. Your mother did what she did to push us past something and is a wonderful mother who supported her kids through everything. I can’t say that about my mother. She’s more concerned about making sure she doesn’t have too much to deal with in terms of my father when I leave.”

“Which is wrong of her. But look at it this way. Kids are raised to leave the nest, but the spouses stay. She has to live with him and only puts on a good front for a short period of time with you.”

“Not making me feeling any better,” he said.

“I suck at this,” she said. “I’m trying though. They don’t understand you and they never will. You have to ask yourself if it’s worth trying anymore.”

“No,” he said. “Do you know the sad part? When I told them about Penelope they were upset. They were pissed I didn’t tell them for months. I get it. I do. I even apologized a few times.”

“I can understand their hurt,” she said. “Even with everything between you guys it still could be hurtful. But I also see your side of it. You were dealing with a lot of changes in your life and probably felt alone.”

“That’s the word,” he said. “Deanna was the only one with me when I was drafted. My parents not only couldn’t be bothered to come but they weren’t even on the screen when cameras went back to my hometown to show the excitement. It was at a local bar and not one family member was there.”

“I’m so sorry,” she said, reaching her hand over to his. “Were they supportive when you got your scholarship?”

“Yes,” he said. “They were there for that. It was local and they were in pictures with me. They’ve made me doubt everything. I went away to college and acted like most kids do when they have some freedom. Yes, I drank and got drunk. But I didn’t do drugs. I didn’t flunk out. I got my communications degree and had decent grades.”

“But they knew some of what you were doing in college?” she asked. “How was that possible? I didn’t see anything when I dug around.”

“I was honest. I told them when they asked things. Maybe I was pissed because they never attempted to come see me play. A few times they made it. In four years, they came to two games. Once my freshman year when I started and once my senior year.”

“How far away from home were you?”

“Three hours,” he said. “Not horrible to support your kid. I’m sorry. There were kids on the team whose parents were driving eight hours and staying the weekend. There was no excuse for it. My father insisted he had to be back for mass.”

“I can understand that somewhat,” she said. “But didn’t he have anyone to cover for him? Doesn’t he take any days off? What if he’s sick?”

“Exactly. He can take a few days off. I didn’t want him to come to every game. He didn’t need to. But he could have tried for the homecoming ones at the very least. Do you know how hard it was to get so much attention and yet my parents were nowhere to be found? I’d be asked all the time by the press. I had to make shit up.”

“What did you say?”

“Usually the same. That my father couldn’t get away. He was devoted to the members of his church. The world saw who held more importance in his life.”

She couldn’t imagine her mother ever doing that.

Even with all the kids in her family, her mother would have found a way to be there in every corner for any of her kids’ lives.

“I just have no words,” she said.

She couldn’t keep saying she was sorry.

“You don’t need to say a word. My father worries about judgment and he got it. He can’t even see it. The worst thing was I defended him for years and he never knew.”

Her heart broke.

“With your teammates?” she asked.

“Yes. I’m the star of the team. My senior year everyone said I was going to be drafted first.”

She grinned. “You weren’t.”

He laughed. “Thanks for the reminder. But I was the first quarterback.”

“The highest part of your life you didn’t have them,” she said.

He turned to look at her. “No. I realized I never had them. So when Penelope was born, maybe I didn’t feel like I had to share that news. It’s not like it was this happy news when it was going on. But then when she was born, she was mine. I got to love her the way I didn’t feel like I was loved. I sound like a wuss saying this.”

“Don’t,” she said. “Please don’t feel that way. I want you to talk to me about what you feel. You had something you didn’t want to share. That’s your choice. And you should damn well tell the world that when it comes time. Every woman out there is going to fall in love with you if they aren’t already. Every father is going to nod their head in respect of your protection.”

“I didn’t think about that,” he said.

“No reason you should. You did what felt right to you. You stand by your decision and never let anyone, I mean anyone, tell you it’s wrong to put your child’s security and protection first.”

“I won’t,” he said.

They were silent for the rest of the drive. She figured he’d said enough about his parents.

When they were in the jet and flying back to New York, she asked, “What did you tell your parents about the woman who gave birth to Penelope?”

“Nothing,” he said. “Or not much. They didn’t even ask. I said Penelope was mine, her mother was no longer alive and I had full custody.”

“They didn’t ask?” she asked. “My mother would want every single detail known to mankind. She’d find it if I didn’t tell it.”

“Is she going to be looking into this?” he asked. “She won’t find anything.”

“No,” she said. “She won’t. I’m saying if it was one of her kids, she’d want to know.”

“The difference is none of you would have kept that from your mother,” he said.

“No,” she said, “we wouldn’t.”

“My parents didn’t ask because they didn’t want to know. In their eyes, I had a child out of wedlock and the woman wasn’t in the picture. I was clear I had Penelope from the day she was born. That was the end of it.”

“That’s their loss,” she said.

“It is,” he said. “I won’t keep my daughter from her grandparents, but I’m not going to foster something at the expense of my mental frustration. I can’t put myself out there anymore to be stepped on.”

“It’s not healthy,” she said. “And we know you are a healthy person.”

“I’ve got you,” he said. “That’s enough for me. Is it enough for you? I know we haven’t talked about the fact that I come as a package deal.”

She laughed. “Are you kidding me? We don’t need to talk about it. I knew it from day one. If I had a problem with it, I would have shut you down after that first kiss.”

She’d lifted her chin and wiggled her shoulders.

“You think you could have, but you know it wasn’t possible. I’m irresistible.”

“You kind of are, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have some strong willpower. Good thing I don’t need to use it.”

Since they were in mid-flight, they were sitting on the sectional in the middle of the plane and she moved over and snuggled next to his side.

“I want to be enough for someone in my life, Laken. This is me putting it out there. Not just my daughter, but the woman I love.”

“You’re enough, Jamie. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.”

“I don’t care about other people,” he said. “I just care about you.”

“You’re enough for me,” she said quietly. And that told her that maybe she wasn’t that far down in second place in his life after all.