Chapter 4

4

N athan’s hands worked with efficiency, sorting bottles. The air in the small Glenwood Distillery was saturated with the scent of juniper berries and angelica root. Aged brick walls framed the gleaming copper still that dominated the room.

Three years ago, he’d set up the distillery in the old stables, a short walk from the house. At the weathered wooden table, he inspected each label for imperfections. Presentation was as vital as taste, and he wouldn’t allow any flaws on or in the bottles that bore the MacMillan name. Every drop of gin that left the Glenwood Distillery held a piece of him. Here, he could be himself.

Well, that – and a bit of an alchemist.

As the glass lay smooth and heavy in his hand, his mind wandered to the woman he’d met at the petrol station last night. He’d never seen eyes like hers before. Swirling hazel and amber. Dark as old wood at the edges and golden flecks at the centre with long, black lashes. The kind of eyes that pierced the surface of things and brought a man to heel.

Completely mesmerising. For a second, he’d been as stunned as a posh git caught in a pub brawl.

This was new.

He couldn’t even recall the last time a woman had got under his skin so quickly. In less than five minutes.

Gennie with a G.

Nathan had been relieved that she was American. He’d never made it over the pond, and neither had his reputation. Otherwise, he couldn’t have talked to her. It wouldn’t have been possible.

Nathan shook his head. He had no business thinking about her – a camping guest at Glenwood, a temporary blip on the radar of his ordered life. And with any luck, he wouldn’t have to see her again.

He closed his eyes, inhaled deeply, and savoured the scent of juniper that anchored him in the present. This was his reality, his world. He couldn’t be distracted by a pair of seductive eyes, a pretty smile, and a perfect set of tits.

Because that little top of hers hadn’t left much to the imagination. Impossible to look away.

To him, sex was a distant memory. Not happening for a single dad who juggled the demands of parenthood, ran a business, and tried to keep it all afloat. Most definitely out of the question for someone who elicited an ‘Oh my God, are you really …’ response. Women tended to react strangely when they figured out who he was.

Had been.

You fucked more in your youth than some people do in their entire lives. So you’ve had your fill, MacMillan.

And relationships? Nothing but complications.

Sure, a warm and willing body at night wouldn’t be the worst thing. But there was no real choice of partners around here. There was no point, either. He’d learned that the hard way. He’d tried it with Sophie, and yes, they’d been good together for a few years. Until he wanted to settle down and have a family, while she wanted a stellar career in finance. He shouldn’t have pressured her; that he regretted deeply. But he’d always wanted to be a father. And there was no denying that Abby was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

It was just… Sometimes he wished he could be a mum to her, too. His heart ached for his little girl. He tried his best. Was it ever enough? Abby was his world, and he’d be damned if he’d let anything or anyone jeopardise their little family unit. Bringing a woman into their lives was a risk Nathan wasn’t willing to take.

He concentrated on the bottles. Every clink of glass against glass echoed his frustration, reverberating off the stone walls of the distillery.

The sound of a car engine broke his thoughts, and Nathan glanced out the window. Abby hopped out of Beth MacKenzie’s SUV and his heart swelled with love as he watched his daughter wave goodbye to her friend’s mum, her blonde hair tousled by the autumn breeze.

Nathan put down the bottle he’d been inspecting and headed outside. A smile ruffled his lips. ‘Hey there, little lady!’ He opened his arms for a hug.

Abby bounded towards him, her rucksack bouncing on her shoulders. ‘Da!’ She threw herself into his embrace. ‘Guess what? I had the best idea ever!’

‘Oh, aye? Let’s hear it then.’

‘We have to have a Halloween party at our house!’ Her blue eyes were bright with excitement. ‘That would be so cool! It looks like a haunted house anyway. We can put pumpkins and spiders and stuff out front!’

Nathan’s smile faltered. The thought of opening their home to a bunch of rowdy kids and their nosy parents twisted his stomach. Glenwood Lodge was their refuge, free from prying eyes and gossip that was sure to spread. Because it always did.

‘I don’t know, sweet pea.’ He didn’t want to dash her hopes too abruptly. ‘A big party here might be a bit much. We’d have to clean the whole house and make a lot of food…’

Abby’s face fell and her lower lip stuck out in a pout. ‘But Da, it would be so much fun! And we never have people over. Please?’

Nathan hated the disappointment in his daughter’s eyes. He knew he was probably being overprotective, but still. ‘Don’t think so, love.’

Her face crumpled. ‘You’re a stinker and a party pooper!’

Party pooper? If you only knew…

‘Tell you what,’ he said in an attempt to compromise. ‘How about we have our own little Halloween celebration, just the two of us? We can dress up in costumes and watch scary movies and eat all the sweeties we want.’

‘ All the sweeties?’ Abby frowned, clearly torn between the appeal of a sugar-heavy father-daughter Halloween and the lure of a big party. ‘Can we still decorate the house?’

He nodded, relieved to see a spark of enthusiasm returning to her eyes. ‘Aye, absolutely. We’ll make it the spookiest house in Perthshire.’

Abby grinned, her earlier disappointment forgotten. ‘Deal!’ She held out her hand for a shake.

He took her small hand in his and sealed the promise with a wink. ‘Deal.’

As they walked hand in hand back to the house for a sandwich, Nathan couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being a coward. He couldn’t shelter Abby in Glenwood Lodge forever. But the idea of letting anyone get close, risking the peace they’d built… It made his heart race with fear.

Perhaps one day he’d be ready to let someone into their little bubble. But for now, he had Abby, and she had him, and that was enough.

It had to be.

As Nathan settled Abby into bed for the night, he marvelled at the way she’d grown. It seemed only yesterday that she’d been a tiny bundle in his arms, all pink cheeks and downy hair. Now, she was a whip-smart seven-year-old with a personality as big as the sky.

‘You?’ Abby murmured sleepily, her eyelids drooping. ‘When can we start decorating for Halloween?’

He swiped a stray curl from her forehead. ‘In six weeks, sweet pea. We’ll make a whole day of it.’

Abby smiled and snuggled deeper into her pillow, Sir Hubert curled up beside her. ‘I love you,’ she said, her words slurred with the weight of impending sleep.

‘I love you too,’ he replied. ‘More than anything.’

He sat and watched the steady rise and fall of her chest as she slipped into dreamland. Memories he usually kept locked away seeped in like wisps of smoke. Sophie’s tear-streaked face as she told him she couldn’t do this anymore, that she had to find herself again. Her priority and purpose had always been her career, he’d always admired that about her, but she’d eventually given in to his endless pleading. They’d moved to Scotland, got pregnant, and he’d bought Glenwood Lodge. Long days sanding floors and patching walls, hands blistered and sore. Sophie had withdrawn into her work, spending more and more time in Edinburgh and working as long and as much as her pregnancy allowed. Eyes distant when she bothered to come home at all, the rift between them growing wider every day.

When Abby was born, Nathan assumed things would change. He’d held her in his arms, this tiny, perfect creature, and felt a love so fierce it had taken his breath away. She’d blinked up at him and the jagged pieces of his heart had fused back together. His life had suddenly made sense. He remembered thinking, ‘Oh, there you are.’

It had been different for Sophie.

Not that she didn’t love Abby. She did. But she’d been miserable. Post-partum on top of everything. It would haunt him to his dying day that he hadn’t noticed it earlier. But he’d been spread thin between the demands of the lodge and the needs of his family. It was then that the fights had started, bitter words hurled like weapons, each finding its target. And then the job offer in Dubai. A chance for Sophie to escape, to go after what she wanted. She’d taken it, leaving Nathan with a toddler and a broken heart. And he couldn’t even be mad. He had no reason to. She’d given him Abby.

They were okay now. But it had taken a lot of work.

With a sigh, he eased himself off the edge of Abby’s bed and made his way downstairs. His footsteps echoed in the silence of the old house. In the lounge, he poured himself a dram of his own gin before starting on the laundry.

Father’s ruin? Naw.

In those quiet moments, when the rest of the world fell away, he knew with absolute certainty that he would do anything to protect their peace. He drained his glass, relishing the burn of the alcohol as it slid down his throat.

Even if it meant keeping his heart and dick locked away from Gennie with a G and all the other women in the world.