Chapter 16

16

N athan tossed and turned, the thunder outside a manifestation of the raging storm within. Gennie possessed his mind. His body. And, by the looks of it, his heart.

How did I let this happen?

He was at his wit’s end.

Sleep finally claimed him, but it was restless, plagued by visions of her.

He was startled awake when he sensed a presence beside him. A scorching heat. Drowsy and dazed, he opened his eyes. Sitting on the edge of his bed was…

Gennie?

‘Christ! What the hell are you doing in my bedroom in the middle of the night?’

‘Sorry, but there’s a thunderstorm,’ she whispered and jerked slightly as she shifted her weight.

‘Right. And you’re here because…?’ His voice was part annoyed, part this savage want that had taken hold of him since he’d first set eyes on her.

‘Because I feel safer when I’m not alone.’ The admission was as soft as her eyes, vulnerable in a way that gutted him. ‘And you know I’m scared of…this.’

Nathan stifled a quip. He would never get over it. A world-class stuntwoman crapping herself in a thunderstorm.

She crossed her arms over her chest. The thin cotton of her t-shirt did little to hide her nipples. He might have been half-asleep, but his dick was fully awake. It had been like this since she’d moved in, an on-and-off state of painful arousal.

Too much to bear for any man.

Thunder cracked as if the world was splitting open. It made her jump. It was so adorable, he almost forgot to be pissed at her for sneaking into his bedroom in the dead of night.

‘What the hell do you want, Gennie?’ His voice came out cracked.

‘I want to hide.’ She slipped under his blanket with careful movements, mindful of her healing rib.

She was trembling.

The genuine terror in her eyes blindsided him, burrowed under his skin. He wanted to push her away and pull her closer. So he just lay there, rigid, caught between a hard place and a woman who could likely beat him in any physical challenge. So strong and brave. And yet, there she was, seeking refuge with him.

In his bed.

The most fucking dangerous place she could be right now.

He cursed the storm and the quiver in her voice that chipped away at his resolve.

Gennie’s breath tickled his neck, and his whole body tightened like a fist. He should have moved, put some space between fire and tinder, insisted that she go back to her own room.

But her vulnerability, the way she sought comfort from him – it was lethal. He had no shield against this. Against her. This was different. She was different.

So aye, he moved, allowing just enough room for her to nestle against him properly. She sucked in a hiss as she settled. Her good arm slipped over his stomach, hesitant but searching. She anchored herself to him and her shaky breathing gradually found a steady rhythm.

It did him in.

‘Nothing’s gonna happen to you here, Gennie.’

At least nothing to do with the weather.

Fuck.

‘It’s just…so loud.’ The space between her brows crinkled. ‘The noise, the flashes…’

He turned his head slightly, their noses were almost touching. ‘I got you. Just focus on me, aye? On this.’ His hand found hers, so small and cold. He laced their fingers together, squeezing gently.

She was so close. That sweet, sleepy scent of her shampoo flooded his nose.

Gennie let out a shuddery exhale, her body slowly relaxing into his. ‘Sorry for barging in like this. I just…I couldn’t be alone.’

‘It’s okay. Everyone’s afraid of something.’

She nuzzled into his shoulder. ‘What are you afraid of, Nathan?’

He thought for a second. ‘Spiders. I scream every time.’

Gennie chuckled. ‘Are you serious?’

‘Wouldn’t joke about it.’

‘What else?’

Nathan paused, weighing whether to spill the truth. But if it made her feel better and safer, if it distracted her – why not?

He inhaled slowly. ‘I’m afraid that my past will catch up with me and Abby one day. That someone could sell us out to the press, and I won’t be able to protect her from all the mean, evil shite in the world.’

Gennie angled her head, catching his gaze with those golden hazel eyes. ‘You’re the best protector I’ve ever met.’

No one had ever called him that. Her words cut straight to his core, soothing the ragged edges of old wounds. This woman. So genuine and full of light, even when she was the one needing sanctuary.

His thumb traced over Gennie’s knuckles. ‘Not so sure about that.’

Another flash of lightning illuminated her face, but she didn’t flinch this time, her eyes locked on his. ‘I feel safe with you.’

Fuck. This was dangerous. The way she looked at him, touched him, like he was something precious. Like she could protect him .

Who knew? Maybe she could. Maybe they could protect each other.

Nathan tightened his arms around her. ‘I’m glad you came to me.’ The words scraped out of him, raw and honest. More vulnerability than he’d shown anyone in years.

He shifted slightly, trying to ease the pressure in his straining boxers without jostling her. But Gennie just nestled closer, soft curves moulding against him. Her leg slipped between his and he bit back a groan. He was aching to touch her. To show her with his hands, his mouth, his body, that nothing bad would ever happen to her as long as he drew breath.

Her hand splayed across his abs and sent heat licking through him. ‘This okay?’

‘Aye.’

But it wasn’t. Having her in his bed, warm and trusting. Craving his comfort, his protection… Stirred up a goddamn tempest of want and protectiveness that threatened to rip him apart at the seams.

Her fingertips traced idle patterns on his skin, shooting flares through his blood. ‘You feel so warm. Strong and solid.’

Her hand drifted lower, ghosting over the trail of hair below his navel.

Tipping his head, he caught her gaze. Shadows and secrets swirled in those autumn eyes. ‘Gennie…’

A warning. A plea. He didn’t even know anymore.

She tilted her chin up, pink lips parted. ‘I like how you say my name. All rumbly and Scottish.’

She traced his pecs and abdomen. Each gentle touch was a scorching brand on his skin. He wasn’t built for this. For the tenderness that ached in his chest. For the need to protect her from her fears.

From his own raging need.

His last bit of armour melted under the siege of Gennie Rivers’ flaming fingertips.

‘You shouldn’t be in my bed.’ His calm voice betrayed the maelstrom swirling inside him that had fuck all to do with the weather. She shivered again, but he suspected it wasn’t from fear anymore. ‘You can’t sleep here, Gennie… That’s not—’

‘Who said anything about sleeping? And I want to…I want…I—’ Her fingers danced along the waistband of his boxers. Her touch was a flame that lit the fuse on his restraint.

Christ. I should put a stop to this. Right now. I really should.

‘Don’t,’ he warned, his voice a gravelly husk. ‘No turning back from here.’

Too late.

Her hand had slipped into his shorts and found his rigid length.

‘Oh!’ The gasp broke from her lips as she curled her fingers around him. He felt each one of them. And he felt her pause, too.

‘Yeah, that’s a big girl’s tool.’

She swallowed hard. ‘Good thing I’m a big girl, then.’ Defiance edged her tone as she began to stroke him with a firm assertive grip, exactly how he liked it. ‘And this isn’t a tool, Nathan. This is you .’

A groan wrangled free from the back of his throat.

This was inevitable. Had always been inevitable.

His hand covered hers and stilled her movement. ‘Don’t you think you should at least kiss me first?’

She smiled. ‘Yeah, probably a good idea.’

Thunder boomed again and matched the wild thud of his heartbeat. The flecks of gold in her eyes caught the faint glow of the storm outside. Her breath whispered across his lips, minty and tantalising. Then she closed her eyes and her mouth met his, and it was as if the thunder had found its way inside. And when she slipped her sweet little tongue into his mouth, the taste of her filled all of him.

That kiss was a bolt of lightning, cleaving him apart from within.

His hand trailed up her arm, her skin pebbling under his touch. He didn’t want to respond with the needy rage of a man who hadn’t been touched in a way that mattered for too long.

But he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t.

God, Gennie. What are you doing to me?

He cupped her face as he angled her head to take her mouth as deep as he could.

And she was still holding his cock in her hand.

She pulled away, a soft whimper escaping her swollen lips. ‘I want you, Nathan.’ The lust in her voice made his shaft jerk, pulsing under her fingers. ‘Can’t think straight. Need this…I—’

‘Gennie, baby… I don’t think you know what you’re getting into.’

‘Shhh…no thinking.’ It was a whisper against his skin, a challenge wrapped in silk.

Fucking her would be reckless.

Wrong on so many levels.

She drew in a sharp breath and shifted to straddle him, careful of her ankle. Another crack of thunder, and she took off her sleep shirt.

Holy fuck.

Her tits were plump and luscious, a soft contrast to her athletic body. They swayed above him, each visible vein added to their beauty.

‘They’re… You’re so beautiful. I—’

‘Touch me, Nathan.’

His hands shot to her waist, his fingers dug into her flesh as he fought for control. ’But your rib… I dinna want to hurt you.’

She winced as she moved, but her eyes held steady. ‘I don’t mind. I really, really don’t.’

Her taut tips screamed for his mouth. His hands reached up of their own accord, plundered her soft flesh and hard little nubs. Too damn hot.

She arched into his hands, so eager. ‘Nathan,’ she breathed out, a plea laced with desire so pure it tore him apart.

‘Fuck, Gennie. I won’t be able to… If we—’

‘Don’t you want me, too?’ She pulled his boxers down.

‘Aye, but—’

She silenced him with a slow roll of her hips, dragging her slick heat along his thickness. His head fell back with a tormented moan. ‘Fuck, Gennie. You came to my bed bare ?’

The silky glide of her swollen sex sent an agonising need through him. He groaned with suppressed hunger, his hips strained to meet her, to chase that blinding pleasure. ‘And how the fuck are you so wet already?’

‘I’ve been wet for you since the moment I met you.’ Her voice was husky. ‘Please.’

‘Christ, you’re driving me insane. But we—’

‘I want… Make me forget the fear. Make me forget… Take care of me, Nathan.’

Take care of me.

That was it. He fisted a hand in her hair and drew her mouth to his. He tried to be gentle this time, he really did. But her lips were too soft, her tongue too hot and keen against his. He devoured her, pushed her head against his, claiming her moans. His left hand played with her nipple until she writhed. So very responsive.

As he’d known she would be.

With a groan, he surged upwards and swirled his tongue around her peak, sucking hard, pinching and rolling the other between his fingertips.

‘Oh my God, Nathan,’ She bucked against him, nails raking down his back. ‘More.’

‘Gennie…baby… We can’t. I don’t have a condom.’

‘I can get one from my room.’

‘Gennie.’

’Nathan.’ Her hips undulated, teasing him with her wet, hot promise.

He was unbearably hard. But she was just looking for a port in the storm. A fleeting moment of solace, nothing more.

It wasn’t enough, not for him, not with her.

‘I can’t let you come into my bed and use me as your sex toy,’ he hissed. ‘Am I just a fucking distraction to you, huh?’

‘No…Nathan…’

‘Then what? What is this? You don’t know what the hell you’re asking for. This is no game.’

His heart pounded like a war drum, blood roaring through his veins. Every inch of his body screamed at him to take what she was offering, to bury himself balls-deep inside her wet flesh and never come up for air. But he couldn’t. Not like this. Not when she was all scared and vulnerable and he just a plaything to her.

Because he knew – he knew – that if he so much as tasted that lush, silky cunt, he’d be hers, irrevocably, for as long as she’d have him.

Aye, she kissed him like a drowning woman clinging to driftwood. But she didn’t know what she was doing.

How he was feeling.

It would be a disaster waiting to happen.

His chest heaved like he’d run a marathon. ‘Gennie, stop. No. We can’t.’

She blinked up at him, her eyes all misty and confused. ‘What? Why the hell not? I thought you wanted—’

‘I do want you, baby. Fuck, you’ve got me so thick I can’t even think straight.’ He pressed his eyelids together as he tried to rein in the beast. ‘But not like this. Not when you’re all shaken up, looking for a diversion.’

She stiffened and her fingers clawed into his shoulders. ‘That’s not what this is. I want you.’

He pulled away with a grunt. ‘Maybe. But the timing is shite, Gennie. You’re not thinking straight, and I’ll be damned if I let you do something you’ll regret.’

‘I won’t regret it. Jesus, how could I regret being with you?’

The unfiltered honesty in her voice nearly cracked him, but he held strong. ‘You say that now. But trust me, this isn’t the way. When I take you to bed and make you mine, I want it to be because we’re both sure. Not because you’re running scared.’

She flinched as if he’d hauled off and decked her, hurt and pissed-off pride gleaming in her dark golden eyes. ‘Wow. Way to make a girl feel good, MacMillan.’

Regret sank its claws into his gut, but he was doing the right thing. For both of them. Wasn’t he?

‘Gennie, I didn’t mean—‘

‘Nah, it’s cool. I get it.’ She slid out of his bed and snatched up her shirt. ‘Silly me, thinking you might actually want me.’

He sat up, reaching for her. ‘Wait. Let me—’

But she was already backing away, arms wrapped around herself like she was trying to keep from flying apart. ‘It’s fine. You don’t have to explain. I’ll just… I’ll go.’

And then she slipped out of his room. The door clicked shut behind her, the quiet sound like a starting pistol in his ears.

He fell back onto the pillow with a groan. His cock was throbbing like a motherfucker. But worse than that was this sinking feeling in his chest, the stinging sense that he’d somehow messed up a good thing.

Perhaps he should go after her. Explain, make her see that he was trying to do right by her. Offer to hold her all night.

But he didn’t. Because apparently, he was a miserable coward.

Instead, he clamped his hand around his dick in a death grip, pumping hard and fast as he replayed every second. The taste of her mouth, the breathy whimpers she’d made when he touched her… Didn’t take him long.

But there was no satisfaction in it, no relief. Only a void in his chest and the sour taste of regret on his tongue.

He’d pushed her away and made her feel unwanted. Unworthy. He hadn’t meant to.

Because nothing could be further from the truth. She was everything he’d never allowed himself to believe he could have. But he couldn’t take advantage of her. He wanted to do it right. If that was what she wanted, too.

What the hell did she want?

Since he was such a noble knobhead, he might have lost his only chance to find out.

Nathan crumpled up his soiled shorts and tossed them in the general direction of the laundry basket.

‘Fuck’s sake.’ The curse tore out on a frazzled breath in the oppressive emptiness of his bedroom.

Outside, the storm howled like a pack of demons; the wind screamed like a lost soul. But it had nothing on the tempest raging inside him, the shitstorm of fear and need and self-loathing.

He’d fix this somehow. He had to.