Prologue

Lista Playlist: The Lakes – Taylor Swift

I’m currently in the countryside with four of my closest friends, who all happen to be men. And no, none of them are even close to being a love interest of mine. I love them, but my goodness do they get on my nerves at times. With all being academics, we love taking time away and just resting our noggins. Working in STEM can take its toll on you, so we all need to recharge our batteries and minds for when we return to the University and our everyday lives. Reed was a fellow student like me, but he’s just left and used his literature degree to open his own bookshop. Whilst Drew, Si and Pip are in various degrees of teaching. Drew

is in computer engineering, Si in Chemistry, and Pip is the Design Technology buff. And then there’s me, a nerdy, petite girl in my second year of a PhD in engineering; focusing on biomechanical engineering, to be specific. This weekend, despite the snow, I’ve hiked, taken insanely beautiful scenic walks and somehow managed the steep hills better than the guys, despite walking on my newly fitted transtibial prosthesis that I’ve been breaking in for just over a month. I guess the workouts, vestibular exercises and physio have been paying off. Plus I do have my trusty cane too, I suppose. His name is St?tte. He’s my first and only love up to this point. He’s quite literally the balance in my life. If you tell me it’s just a cane, I will disagree until the cows come home! We rented out an Airbnb in The Lake District, and it’s been the nicest way to spend the rest of the year. I truly have had moments feeling like a Jane Austen Character whilst walking and taking in the scenic views; And have embodied Amanda Woods from The Holiday whilst being curled up in front of the fire with a book in the Airbnb. Both minus a gorgeous, charming gentlemen, however. Besides St?tte. I mean, I suppose I’m lucky to have four charming gents here with me, but it’s just not the same. I need my Mr Darcy, ok!? I need the kind of romance where you have those bend the knee kisses. You know those cliché ones, where the kiss is so good that you bend one leg back and it looks cute AF. Yeah, that’s what I’m after. Plus, the average folk takes the ability to bend their knees for granted; I had to re-learn how to do that after my amputation. Plus bending my knee for long periods can cause big issues for below the knee amputees so, I want at least one special moment. This evening we’re heading to a country pub that Reed picked. He’s the trips organiser and father figure of the group (despite being one of the youngest), so we heavily rely on him to be responsible for choosing good places to visit that have vegan options for little old me. So far, so good. He's even recommended a nice walking route for me to take solo today before we need to get ready to head to the pub. So I fully intend on taking every opportunity to romanticise it and act like I’m an elegant lady from the 1800’s with Elizabeth Bennet type attire. I do not however own any form of such clothing, so I’ll just imagine it, whilst wearing my very average leggings, thermal long-sleeved T-shirt, docs and the cosiest, warming cardigan. I’ve even packed a cute little copy of Pride and Prejudice in my backpack for some cute countryside pictures and a little reading session. Providing I don’t freeze my tits off. What’s the point in living if you can’t romanticise the little things that life gives. Reading, sat underneath a beautiful tree in the countryside is the most perfect thing to do, and I intend to do it. And we’re blessed with the snow too. It’s the most beautiful place to see covered in a frosty, sparkling layer of white.

The guys are doing their own things today; Reed is enjoying reading, in between taking calls about his store, and Drew is playing video games with Pip and Si. Hence why I’ve decided to take this opportunity to welcome solitude and get some headspace before a busy evening.

The walk was divine, thank you for asking . It well and truly refreshed me and gave me chance to get used to different surfaces on my leg. Win, win. I’m feeling strong on it already. And braving the snow was a huge deal too. Go me! Despite doing so well on my new prosthetic, my residual leg muscles get sore, especially after a walk in the snow, and so it's important to give my body time to rest. The last time I quite literally ran before I could walk; my prosthetist handed me my arse on a plate. I’d only been trying out my first leg for a few months and pushed myself too far, resulting in taking ten steps back in my both my physical, mental and emotional recovery. Trust me, I listened to him and actually learned that time. Since then, I’ve followed the guidance he’s given to me like my life depended on it, because I’ve come to realise that in a way, it kind of does.

In order to soothe my muscles and let my leg rest, ready for the evening, I take my health teams advice and remove my gorgeous lower leg when I get home from walking. She deserves rest too. I use my crutches to get around. It took a long time to adapt

to this new way of life for me, but as I got older I realised how capable we are of doing so; adapting during difficult times that we thought would be the end of us. It turns out, it was just the beginning. When I truly lost everything that mattered to me, I had no idea I could grow and find my purpose in life. I took a super lovely shower when I settled back into the Airbnb from my walk and was able to take my time thanks to having an accessible ensuite all to myself. Otherwise the guys would be queuing up for their turn and shouting at me to hurry up. I’d end up with one armpit and one leg unshaved. And if you think I’m joking, I’m not. They rushed me so much before, I got overwhelmed and ended up leaving the house half clean shaven and half like a baby yeti. Yes, It’s my own fault. I take ages showering. But in my defence, I have long hair, balance issues, one full length leg to balance on in the slippery conditions, as opposed to the average two, and I enjoy the warm embrace of hot water on my skin, especially when it’s freezing outside. It’s like a comforting cuddle, and a space just for me to feel at ease. I get out of the shower with enough time to calmly get dressed, dry my hair and put some makeup on. I even light some scented candles and sip some mulled wine too. Talk about living life. This girl is fucking content. For our little outing this evening, I decided to go with some short black dungarees, tights (of course), a cosy black long sleeved top and a burgundy, soft, thick cardigan alongside my black boots.

I paired it with a chunky faux wool black scarf because oh my, it is soooo cold outside. I’ve even blessed fellow humans by wearing a padded bra, but if I’m being honest, it’s actually just so that my nips don’t freeze.