Chapter Six

Renzo

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

What the fuck?

Not only was she too young, too soft, too shy, but she was innocent too?

What was her fucking family thinking?

This wasn’t the goddamn seventeen-hundreds.

I wasn’t after her fucking virginity.

Why hadn’t they said something?

Why hadn’t she?

She’d been a little reserved, sure, but she’d sparked under my touch until she was a goddamn wildfire. I couldn’t have known. Not with the way her hips were riding my face as I tasted her sweet pussy.

Maybe if I’d taken more time with her, slipped my fingers inside of her.

Maybe if…

Fuck.

There were no more maybes or ifs.

I’d teased my cock down her pussy, then I’d slammed balls-fucking-deep inside of her in one thrust.

Her cry had been a bucket of ice water on my own desire that had been so consumed with the way her perfect pussy closed around my cock, my mind clearing instantly, looking up to see her face contorted in pain.

And confusion.

My pulse froze in my veins as my gaze slipped down between her thighs, seeing blood. On her. On me.

Yeah, no fucking wonder her pussy felt like it was made just for me.

She’d never had anyone inside of her before.

Despite the fucked up situation, a strange sort of pleasure built inside of me. This feeling of, I don’t know, possession. Ownership. Like she was mine in a way no one else had ever been.

What the fuck was that about?

I wasn’t the kind of man who gave a shit about virginity or body counts. Fucking was fucking. Fun. Mutually satisfying. A good way to pass an hour or two after a long, stressful day.

I didn’t want to be anyone’s first, anyone’s only.

But now I was, wasn’t I?

Her first.

And she was my wife now.

So her only.

“Christ,” I said, glancing at myself in the mirror, seeing the confusion, anger, and, yeah, I wasn’t proud of it, but desire, on my face.

I was her first.

And I’d royally fucked it the hell up.

Tears had been flooding down her cheeks by the time I realized what was going on, each one telling me what a motherfucker I was.

My stomach tensed, remembering how she whimpered and tried to get away from the sensation as I tried to carefully slide out of her without hurting her. And, clearly, failing at that too.

This entire night was a fucking disaster.

Why had I put my hands on her?

Why hadn’t I just gone to the goddamn guest room and crashed there?

No amount of wishing shit was different was going to change this now, though.

I went to the closet, grabbing washcloths, cleaned myself off, then waited for the tap to run hot to wet another one, taking it with me out of the bathroom.

Lore was still in the same spot I left her, her face buried in her hands, her thighs pressed tightly together.

She didn’t seem to hear me come out, but the second my fingers touched her knees, it was like I’d fucking scalded her, the way she jolted away from me.

“Easy,” I said, trying to keep my voice soft even as the tension built in my system.

I wasn’t good at this shit.

I wasn’t a gentle kind of man.

I didn’t do soft and sweet.

But I had to fucking try just this once.

She’d dealt with enough roughness from me for one day.

“Just let me clean you up,” I said, watching the way she shrank into herself, her shoulders coming up by her ears, her chin tucking to her chest.

I couldn’t see her face.

I wasn’t sure I wanted to.

But when I reached for her knees again, she didn’t fight me as I pulled them apart, spreading her wide for me. Then as gently as I could, running the washcloth over her skin, wiping away traces of my desire, of hers, and the proof of her innocence until she was all clean again.

“Okay,” I said, pressing her thighs back together.

This time, she curled them at an angle at her side, and her whole body followed, curling tightly into herself, making herself smaller.

Making me feel smaller.

I went back into the bathroom, tossing the washcloth into a hamper, taking a minute to try to get my fucking head on straight.

But each thought was playing fucking bumper cars, knocking into one another, sending them all off course.

I could still smell her all over me, a honeyed vanilla scent that had no right to be as fucking intoxicating as it was.

I could taste her in my mouth too, the sweet traces of her desire on my tongue and lips, making my stupid fucking cock start to harden again.

“Christ,” I growled, grabbing the countertop hard enough that I was shocked it didn’t crack under the pressure.

I deep-breathed until my cock calmed back down again before brushing my teeth, yanking yesterday’s pair of pajama pants up my legs, and forcing myself to make my way out of the bathroom.

I turned off the bedroom light, still hearing the sounds of the party a floor below, and made my way toward the bed.

Lore was silent on her side, curled up facing away from me, but with the stiffness of her body, I knew she was still awake.

I didn’t say anything.

I didn’t know what the fuck I could say.

Sorry?

I wasn’t sure she would want to hear that shit from me.

So I climbed in my side of the bed, pulling the covers up from the bottom of the bed in one quick motion, so they flew up over both of us.

I lowered down on the pillows, staring up at the darkened ceiling, wishing I was the kind of man who had the words, who knew what to say, or do.

But that wasn’t me.

That wasn’t the kind of man I was.

So, I just fucking lay there, listening to Lore’s soft breathing, wondering how many ways she was cursing the day she agreed to marry a motherfucker like me.

I was sure she’d fallen asleep.

Until, suddenly, her voice broke the silence in the room.

Small and soft, full of a delicate kind of emotion that I didn’t know well enough to name.

“Did I do something wrong?”

Fuck if those words weren’t a blow straight through my goddamn chest.

“No, mouse,” I said, trying to make my voice softer than usual. It was the least I could do for her. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s been a long day. Go to sleep.”

I was nobody’s poet.

I didn’t have any other words to give her.

So I had to lay there and listen to her soft sniffles as she fucking cried herself to sleep, each sound making me feel like the biggest goddamn dick in the world.

At some point, what had to be hours later, the sounds of the party quieted until there was nothing but our breathing.

Eventually, I must have passed out.

But my internal clock had me waking up maybe only two or three hours later, the sun starting to streak across the sky, making all the glass reflect blinding rays on the walls as I sat up in bed, careful not to disturb the sleeping Lore.

I made my way to the closet, choosing clothes at random in the dark before heading into the bathroom, climbing in the shower, and hoping the cold spray of water would lower my fucking raging hard-on.

I had no goddamn idea if it was just a coincidence, or from Lore’s scent all over me, so I tried to scrub her off of me.

To no avail.

Reaching down, I fisted my cock, working it in fast strokes as my eyes slid closed.

And what image was right there behind my lids?

Lore’s body beneath mine, her legs wrapped around me, her hips meeting me thrust for thrust, mewling and moaning as I buried my cock in her over and over again until her pussy was pulsing around me, taking me with her as she came.

Just imagining it had me coming so hard I saw white, a groan escaping me alone in the shower as my fucking legs felt weak.

Jesus.

I actually had to lean back against the tile, taking deep breaths to bring myself back down from it before cleaning up and climbing out of the shower.

By the time I got myself dressed, I wondered if Lore would be awake. As I walked into the bedroom, though, she was still passed out on her side like she’d been before, so I made my way out of the bedroom and downstairs, making a beeline for the coffee pot.

“Thought I heard you moving around,” Rico said, letting himself into the apartment, collecting a few glasses as he passed on his way to the kitchen, setting them in the sink. “You crashed early last night.”

It wasn’t like I could tell him the truth.

That I’d roughly taken the virginity of my wife while everyone partied below.

So, I shrugged instead. “It had been a long day.”

“How’s she settling in?” he asked, jerking his head toward the balcony.

“She’s sleeping,” I said, shrugging it off. “You coming with me today to shake some money loose from those fucking Gray brothers?” I asked, pouring us each a cup of coffee.

“You’re not… hanging around here today?” he asked.

“For what?” I asked, looking around.

I was never at home.

Save for the parties at night.

There was always work to be done. I could be pulling twenty-hour shifts most of the time if I let myself.

As it was, I left in the morning and didn’t come home until well after dark.

“Right,” Rico said, something on his face that I couldn’t read. But, honestly, I was in too shitty of a mood to give a damn what it was. “Elian is on his way to relieve me.”

“Good. We’ll bounce as soon as he gets here.”

Half an hour later, that’s exactly what we did.

I threw myself back into work, finding more of it to go around than I’d expected since I’d clearly been focusing a little too much on the alliance with the Costas.

Those possible twenty-hour days became my reality for the next couple. Only making it home well after midnight, finding Lore already asleep in bed, and climbing into my side to catch a few hours, only to wake up before her and be off again.

No amount of physical distance, though, seemed to calm my fucking desire down, finding my cock rock hard each morning and night, even going semi several times a day if an image of Lore’s tits or pussy popped into my mind.

No amount of jerking off seemed to ease the ache to be inside of her, though.

And by the third day, I was starting to think that maybe, if I took it slow, if I gave her the time she needed to get used to sex, I could actually get the relief I was craving.

So on that fourth night, I found myself calling it quits early.

And finally heading home to my wife before she passed out for the night.