10. Heller

10

HELLER

H ow do I politely tell Sergey that Gentoo penguin shifter sex is all kinds of fucked up? He doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy who gets off forcing an omega to bend over and take it without being able to touch their own cock or orgasm.

“Can I ask you something?” I say.

“Yeah, of course.”

“Other than your dad and his family, do you know any penguin shifters?”

He shakes his head. “I’ve met a few Gentoo, but I definitely wouldn’t call them friends. They were complete assholes.”

I let out a breathy laugh. “That sounds about right.”

People love to hate the Gentoo. And why shouldn’t they? Overall, we tend to be judgmental and puritanical to a degree that doesn’t allow us to appreciate anyone outside our own culture.

But one thing I’ve learned is that nobody is all good or all bad. I’ve also learned that appreciating the good things about my people is important. After all, their blood runs through my veins. If I hate them, I end up hating myself.

Maybe I can wrap a role play around the good aspects of Gentoo Pebble Gifting Seasons for Sergey tonight.

“Close your eyes,” I say. My skin begins to tingle with anticipation. Role playing is one of my favorite things to do in bed. I used to set up the most elaborate scenes for my customers when I worked on Valentine’s Row. I loved the look on their face when they entered and saw our play space. It was how I put them at ease—how I made them feel special.

I want to put Sergey at ease too. Then we can enter his fantasy together. If I’m being honest, it’s a fantasy I had myself when I was a teenager.

“Imagine you’re twenty-three, and you’ve never even touched an omega before.”

He smiles at that. “Okay.”

“You went away to college at some fancy University, and there were omegas there who liked you and would have kissed you if you gave them the chance. But you saved yourself for today. For me. Through our teen years, you saw me at church, but you weren’t allowed to sit near me or have a real conversation with me. But you wanted me anyway. You liked the sound of my laugh and the way I took care of my younger brothers and sisters. Ever since you were fifteen, you knew I was the one. You just had to wait.”

Little does Sergey know that there weren’t any alphas who fancied me back when I was at home. I was rebellious from a young age and spoke my mind. But sometimes I wished I had admirers. I liked to fantasize about an alpha who would take me away from Anchorage and let me travel the world with him. I close my own eyes and let myself imagine Sergey as a dashing alpha wearing an expensive tuxedo the first night of Pebble Gifting Season.

“The Gentoo have four socials before Pebble Gifting Season. During each social, you came to me and talked to me politely about your family’s business and your education, so I would be assured you could offer me a good life. You were careful not to dominate my time, but you stayed with me long enough to signal to the other alphas that you planned to spend your first night with me.”

I open my eyes just a little bit to watch Sergey as I tell him the story. I can just imagine him in a crowd of young Gentoo, about to embark upon their Pebble Gifting Season. Other than the gray hair, he has a lot of penguin shifter features. His nose is smaller and pointed, and his lips are full. If he’d been at my church every Sunday growing up, I definitely would have noticed him.

“After four socials and nearly a decade of biding your time, it’s finally Pebble Gifting Season. You put on the tuxedo that your parents bought you for the occasion. You tie your scarf in the traditional Gentoo knot. And you venture out into the cold night, walking quickly so you can reach me before anyone else does. You arrive early, which is a little awkward because other Gentoo omegas are glancing at you, hoping to get your attention. But you don’t care about any of them. You wait until you can see me. I’m a vision in my custom tuxedo and a soft scarf around my neck. My cheeks are pink from the cold, and when I see you, they get pinker still. I’m unbearably shy.”

His lips quirk up on one side. “Sorry. I’m having a hard time imagining you as shy.”

“All Gentoo omegas are shy.”

He opens his eyes. “Except you. What if I don’t like shy omegas? What if I want you because you’re the only omega at church who’s confident?”

Damn. This man is tapping right into my own fantasy. That’s dangerous.

“Fine. As long as you know that Gentoo alphas aren’t really like that,” I say.

“Except me, you mean. I’m a Gentoo alpha.”

I don’t correct him and say he’s only half Gentoo. Half still counts. I could remind him that he was raised in New Mexico completely separated from Gentoo culture, but he knows that. Right now, I think Sergey wants me to acknowledge the penguin shifter inside him. I can do that.

“Right. Except you. I’m not shy, even though most Gentoo omegas are, and you don’t mind, even though the Gentoo alphas I grew up with did.”

That last sentence was a slip. We’ve veered away from the fantasy to something different. Sergey searches my face, his gaze hovering on my lips. “They were wrong, you know. Your confidence is beautiful.”

I clear my throat, because this is supposed to be a fantasy for him, not me. We better get back on track. “Does that mean you want to spend the night with me?”

His lips spread in a wide smile. “Yes. Would you have me, Heller?”

I wish I’d given him a fake name, but now it’s too late. It would be weird if I asked him to call me something else at this point.

Maybe I need to stop fighting how close this is to fantasies I had in high school and let myself enjoy it. After all, it’s been fifteen years since I’ve wanted a Pebble Gifting Season. It’s not like I’m in danger of feeling sad after it’s all over because I never got to experience this in real life.

I take a deep breath and try to remember the headstrong rebel I was as a teenager. He would have loved the validation of being chosen by someone like Sergey the first night of Pebble Gifting Season.

“I would be honored,” I say.

Sergey stands and outstretches his hand to me. I almost tell him that we wouldn’t touch yet, but the truth is, I don’t know. Maybe Gentoo do hold hands on their way up to their hotel rooms during Pebble Gifting Season. I slowly rest my hand in his, savoring the pressure and warmth the way I imagine an omega Gentoo might if he’d never touched an alpha before. Sergey stares at where our hands connect, and it’s obvious that he’s lost in the fantasy too.

He pulls me to my feet and walks me toward the door. He even opens it and steps out. I always love it when a man commits to role play like this. I step out with him, maintaining eye contact with him. He goes as far as to shut the door behind us and get out his key a second time. “Thank you, Heller. It means a lot that you agreed to spend your first night with me.”

Heaven help me, but my heart does a little pitter patter.

He opens the door a second time, holding it open for me to walk through before following behind me. He has the chivalry down pat. I always liked that part of Gentoo alphas. I hated the misogyny and oppression that came with it, but this isn’t about that. This is pure fantasy.

“What do we do next?” he whispers under his breath.

Next comes the fish sharing, which would require a tray and fish. We have neither. It would also mean revealing our penguin forms to one another, and that’s far too intimate. But there’s one element of all that we can do.

“We take off our clothes one by one and fold them on the bed.” I don’t mention that we’re supposed to do it in a specific order and fold the clothes in a specific way. It’s something I would have practiced if I’d stayed at home long enough to prepare for a Pebble Gifting Season, but I never did, so I don’t know the order or how the folding is done.

We’re not wearing tuxedos anyway.

I start with my scarf and unwind it from my neck. Sergey isn’t wearing as much clothing as I am, so he grabs the neck of his shirt and pulls it over his head. I watch as it travels up his body, revealing a furry abdomen and chest. His body hair is as gray as the hair on his head. It gives him the distinguished look of an older man, while he’s rocking the muscular body of an alpha in his prime.

Damn, if he isn’t the hottest man I’ve ever seen.

On his chest he has two black tattoos. One is the silhouette of a penguin, and the other is the silhouette of a bear. It’s such a simple way of Sergey owning who he is. I look at the tattoos for a moment too long.

“They’re magic,” he says, grasping my hand and bringing it to his chest. When my palm connects with his skin, the bear moves, rearing up on its hind legs.

“Illusors have magic paint. It’s kind of like magic metal. They don’t normally give a tattoo like this to an outsider, but they made an exception for me after I welded a prosthetic for an Illusor kid pro bono.”

I place my hand on the penguin. Between my fingers I see the wings flap up and down. “They’re beautiful, Sergey. Do they always move when you touch them?”

He shakes his head. “They’re called soul tattoos. They only dance for someone with a good soul.”

It sounds superstitious, like a lot of things about the Gentoo church. But metal magic is real enough, and these tattoos are moving on Sergey’s skin. Maybe there’s some truth to what he’s saying.

“Then I have a good soul?” I ask.

“I guess so. The Illusors gave me these tattoos to protect me. They said I should never trust a lover who can’t make my tattoos dance.”

For a moment, my mind is split between responding to him as the real me or the role-playing Pebble-Gifting-Season me. I can’t tell where Sergey is at right now. The real me doesn’t blanch at the idea of Sergey having other lovers who’ve placed their hands on his chest, but the innocent virgin I’m supposed to be playing right now would.

“Then… other omegas have touched your tattoos?” I ask, almost shyly.

He brings my hand to his mouth and brushes his lips against my knuckles. “No. You’re the first one.”

The way he says it makes me wonder if it’s true. I don’t know when he got those tattoos, and how long it’s been since he took off his clothes with a lover. Could I be the first person to see something so special?

“Thank you, Sergey,” I say.

He looks away from me with a shyness that feels too real for a role play. “Thank you for appreciating them. They mean a lot to me.”

I want to stand on my toes and kiss him, but that wouldn’t fit my character. Instead, I bring his hand to my lips and kiss his knuckles, like he did to me. He stares back at me with such tenderness in his eyes, my stomach fills with butterflies.

He releases my hands and waits. For a moment, I forgot that I’m almost fully clothed, while Sergey is shirtless. I pull off my sweater and the undershirt beneath it. Sergey drags his gaze along my body with an obvious hunger I’m no stranger to. Like I told him earlier, I regularly take my clothes off for an audience. But the way he stares into my eyes afterward makes me feel like I’ve fallen into some kind of Pebble Gifting Season romance novel.

“You’re lovely, Heller.”

The thing is, I know that. I love my body. I don’t know why it feels special to share it with Sergey, but it does.

He hooks his fingers into the waistband of his jeans and slowly lowers them until he’s standing before me in only a black pair of boxer briefs. His thighs are thick and muscled. They taper down to bulging calves and wide feet. Every part of him is big and intimidating.

That’s one thing I’ve always liked about alpha polar bear shifters.

I follow suit, unbuttoning my pants and letting them fall down to my ankles. Sergey stares at the black lace underwear I put on just for him.

“Do omega Gentoos normally…”

I smile. “No. Gentoo men are supposed to wear white briefs. But we’re not supposed to have tattoos either.”

He steps closer to me, his eyes still fixed on my underwear. “Am I allowed to touch you?”

Technically, no. We’re supposed to get naked before we touch each other. But we’re not supposed to do foreplay of any kind, and so maybe it doesn’t matter.

“You can touch me, if you want to,” I say.

I expect him to touch the lace, but he cups my jaw instead. “Tell me what a good Gentoo alpha would do right now.”

I let out a nervous laugh. “Um, that depends. Are we talking about the sweet Gentoo alphas of my teenage fantasies or a real Gentoo alpha?”

“The first one.”

He says it so readily, I’m unprepared. No one ever asks teenage Gentoo omegas what they want from an alpha or a lover. We’re not supposed to want anything. We’re not supposed to be sexual people.

I never realized how much it would mean for an alpha to seek out the forgotten teenage penguin shifter of my past and offer to give him whatever he desired.

“Maybe we could kiss first,” I say. I thought a lot about kissing back then.

Sergey gently presses a kiss to my lips. It’s the same kind of kiss he gave me earlier, but this time it feels perfect, like a kiss the omega would receive at the end of one of those romantic historical movies where all the men are wearing cravats and suits in fancy drawing rooms. The teenage version of me would have swooned.

I swoon a little too.

Sergey’s tongue licks at my lips, and I open my mouth for him. He slides his tongue inside, dragging it against my own. A sweet pleasure surges through me, desire coiling between my legs. I cling to him, letting my body weight rest against his broad chest.

He slides his arms around me, until our bodies are flush. I can feel the heat of his erection against my hip. I let out a breathy moan.

“Can I have you, Heller?” he whispers. “I’ve imagined it so many times. I want to be one with your body.”

I could say yes and leave it at that. But a Gentoo omega wouldn’t know what he meant by that. No one told me what sex was until I left.

“It’s my first night of Pebble Gifting Season. You’ll have to explain to me what that means.”

Sergey pulls away from me, staring into my eyes. “You don’t know anything?”

I shake my head. “Explain it to me.”

This part of the fantasy was very important to me when I was younger. My older sister once said that her first alpha didn’t explain a thing, and that it hurt a great deal. But she said her second alpha was kind and took her time, so it didn’t hurt at all. When I imagined my own Pebble Gifting Season, I fantasized about an alpha who was slow and sweet, explaining everything before it happened.

Sergey grabs my hand and guides me to the bed. “Lie down, okay?”

I do as he says, lying on my back. Sergey climbs onto the bed next to me. “I want to make love to you. There are lots of ways to do that. May I touch you?”

I bob my head up and down.

“We could frot, which would mean I’d touch you here.” He cups my cock. I take in a sharp breath as the wild sensation of his hand against my sensitive skin courses through me. “I’d hold your cock and mine together and stimulate them at the same time.”

I don’t tell him that Gentoo never frot because we already agreed to leave the reality of Gentoo alphas behind.

“Or we could have oral sex,” he says, gently kissing my cheek, my jaw, my neck. “That means I’d put your cock in my mouth and stimulate it to make you feel good. Then you’d do the same for me.” He kisses the crook of my neck, opening his mouth to suck on the skin. I arch my neck and wrap my arm around his back, wanting more.

“Or we could have anal sex.” His hand snakes around my body, cupping my ass. “That means I would insert my cock here.” He slips his fingers underneath my underwear and slides them between my asscheeks to where I’m wet for him. I let out a loud breath. “If I orgasm inside you, we could make an egg together. That’s how it works.”

It’s strangely erotic to let him explain all of this to me. He presses his finger against my entrance and rubs it back and forth. I open my legs, trying to give him access and his finger pushes inside me.

I clutch his shoulders. “Sergey!”

“It’s okay. I can stop if you want.”

“No. I just… are we…”

“I want to have anal sex with you. But if you want something different?—”

“No. I want that too.”

He withdraws his finger and pushes it inside me again. I buck my hips against the intrusion, taking him in deeper. He’s sucking on my neck in earnest now. He bites down gently, and the sharp sensation is enough to make my body spasm around his finger.

“Oh, Heller,” he whispers.

“Use a condom, okay?” I ask. It’s a departure from the fantasy, but it’s necessary.

“Of course. I need to open you up a little more first.” He slips a second finger next to the first. The growing thickness is satisfying in a way that only anal sex is for me. I’ve never been into frotting or oral sex. I’m attracted to omegas, but I always prefer to bottom. Of course, when a client is paying, we do whatever they want, and I usually get off on it as long as they’re feeling good, but I like that Sergey wants to go directly to anal.

“You feel so good,” he says, nipping at my earlobe and gliding his tongue along the shell of my ear. He pumps his fingers in and out, speeding up the pace rapidly. I spasm again, gushing slick all over his hand. He swears under his breath, which shouldn’t feel in line with the role play, but it does. Like this innocent version of him has been brought to cursing by how amazing this is between us.

“Please, Sergey,” I beg.

He kisses my mouth and suddenly, he’s gone. His fingers, his body, his lips. I watch him walk toward the dresser and look through his things. He fishes a condom out and tears off the wrapper with his teeth. He yanks off his underwear, revealing a thick, long cock that’s a perfect addition to this fantasy. That’s when I remember what being half penguin shifter might mean, specifically in regard to his knot. Polar bear shifter knots only expand at the base of an alpha’s cock, and are much easier to take. Penguin shifter knots expand their entire cock, and I can only take them doggie-style, with my knees spread.

There’s a reason why Gentoo only have sex that way.

“When it comes to… knotting, are you more polar bear shifter or penguin shifter? Either way is fine, I just want to be prepared,” I say.

He swallows hard and drags a hand through his hair. “Um, it depends.”

“On what?” I ask.

“On how good the sex is? I want you so badly, I think you should probably be prepared for a penguin shifter knot.”

There’s something sexy about not knowing what type of knot I’m about to take. I get onto my knees and spread them wide, resting my chest onto the mattress. Sergey grabs my ass, squeezing the flesh above my underwear. The roughness of the lace rubs against my skin. He shoves the lace to the side and his fingers glide against my hole and taint. He dips them inside for a moment, then withdraws.

“Would it ruin everything if I spanked you? Your ass is the hottest thing I’ve ever seen, especially in these panties. Unless you don’t want that. You said no pain play?—”

“I love spanking.”

His hand snaps down on my ass the second after I finish my sentence. It’s just the right amount of sensation. He runs his fingers across my hole again, then his hand comes down hard on my other asscheek.

“Can I fuck you with the panties on?” he asks.

I look back at him with a devilish smile that’s nothing like the character in our role play. “Why do you think I didn’t take them off?”

He grins at me and smacks my ass again. “You’re so sexy.”

“Then fuck me already.”

He lines his cock up to my entrance. It’s clad in what looks like a studded condom, which is fun. I always like a little variety. As he pushes inside, I bear down. He’s thick to the point of discomfort.

“Slowly. You’re big,” I say.

His grin widens. “Oh, I know. Something tells me you can take it.”

This side of him is such a contrast to the sweet, earnest character he was playing before, and I absolutely love it. He pushes inside me in one long, smooth stroke. I’m so full, my eyes roll back in pleasure. That initial thrust is my favorite part. I love the intensity of it. Even with guys who have smaller cocks, there’s nothing like taking someone’s dick for the first time.

“With a cock like that, who needs a knot?” I ask.

He laughs. I can feel the vibrations of his body deep inside me. He bends down, changing the angle of his erection inside me, then reaches for my cock. “You’ve got me so worked up, I don’t know how long I’ll last. I want to take you with me.”

He runs his thumb over my tip, smearing the precum all over the head of my cock. I lean my head back and close my eyes. I’m still so full, and his hand grips me tight enough, I’m not sure I can handle all the sensation. My toes tingle, the way they always do when I’m about to come.

“It doesn’t take much to send me over the edge,” I warn him.

“Good.”

He rocks back, and then slams back inside me. The combination of his size and the force of his thrust makes me whimper.

“Do that again,” I gasp.

He obeys, but this time he jacks my cock at the same time. I scrabble at the sheets, digging my fingers into the fabric. It’s all too much. He grabs my hip with his other hand, fucking me so hard, my head knocks into the mattress and the slap of our skin coming together is loud. I buck back into him, our bodies moving in an almost violent desperation. I scream as my body crests, as I clamp down on him hard enough to stop his movement for a moment.

He keeps fucking me through the pressure. The sensation is wild as he forces his cock into my hole. I thrash around from the pleasure, so far gone I’m gushing slick and spurting semen all over the comforter. My body relaxes into merely spasming around his dick instead of squeezing it like a vice, and then his cock starts to grow inside me.

“Oh my god. You’re so big,” I grind out, my voice guttural.

“Separate your knees a little more,” he says. His hands guide my thighs further apart. His cock keeps expanding. I shake my head, not sure I can take it. I’ve been knotted by my share of penguin shifters, but their cocks were smaller to begin with, so the size of their knots were more reasonable. My body begins to panic as he continues to grow. We’re past the point of no return. He can’t pull out even if he wanted to. I begin to feel the studs of his condom pressing against my walls. I bury my head into the mattress and let out a scream.

The scream helps, but I’m still in a panic. To make things worse, my body tries to pulsate on Sergey’s knot, which is wildly painful in the most delicious way. He places a hand on my ass and makes a comforting “shushing” noise. It’s such a tender gesture, it’s like we’re returning to the role play from before.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

I nod. “Your dick should come with a warning label.”

“If it did, would that stop you?”

“Probably not.”

We both laugh. My panic mellows to a state of overwhelmed that’s wonderful to get lost in. I’m awash in a cloud of sensation. My body relaxes, even when Sergey moves inside me, grinding his knot deeper still. It’s like some form of afterglow, except for the shocks of pleasure that come with every rock of Sergey’s hips. I’ve never been this lost in bliss.

He squeezes my ass, separating my cheeks and running his fingers along the space where our bodies meet. “You’re so fucking beautiful taking my knot like this. Just look at you.” He reaches around to grasp my cock again, stroking it gently in time with his hips. I cry out as my body tries to come again. I can’t spasm around his knot anymore. I’m stretched too wide. All I can do is spurt cum onto the bed and whimper.

Everything fades to black.