14. Olivia

Sweat beaded on the back of Olivia's neck as she took her sweet, precious time washing her hands. Of all the ways she'd imagined the night going, hiding in the bathroom wasn't one of them.

The nerve of that guy. She'd known him for two seconds–barely spoken to him before–and he was trying to lock lips and touch her sacred place before dessert.

No, thank you, Mr. Peacock.

Checking herself in the mirror, she wiped the back of her neck with a towel, pulled the tube of lipstick out of her cleavage, and fixed her makeup. She would not let an inappropriate date ruin the evening.

Olivia pushed open the bathroom door and nearly collided with the wall of green waiting in the hallway. Backing up, she pressed a hand to her chest where her heart beat double-time.

"Mark, what are you doing?"

"Looking for you." His gaze slid up and down her body, washing a sticky chill over her skin. He probably thought he looked brooding, but the expression was just creepy.

"I told you I was going to the bathroom." Maybe she should have just made a stealthy escape.

Mark looked over both shoulders before turning that icky look toward her. "Let's get outta here."

Olivia sidestepped Mark and started backing toward the main room. "Um, no. It's my friends' wedding, and I'm not going anywhere with you."

Good grief. Did he really think she'd just leave with him?

A deep ridge formed between Mark's brows, and his gaze slid down her body, then back up. He scoffed. "What a prude."

She'd been called worse things, and he could call her Cookie Monster for all she cared. This guy didn't deserve another ounce of her time. Waving a hand above her head, she turned toward the doors leading to the reception. "Have a nice life."

Olivia let out a sigh of relief as soon as she stepped into the main room. At least one of her problems was solved. She snaked through the crowd to the table where she'd left her clutch. She pulled out her phone and sent a quick text to Anna.

Olivia: How are you?

She didn't expect a quick response, so she tucked the phone away and scanned the room. The party had really amped up in the minutes she'd been gone.

A gentle hand rested on her shoulder. "Hey, where's your date?" Lauren asked.

Olivia sagged onto a chair. "Gone."

Lauren took the seat beside her. "I hate to say it, but I'm glad. He was–"

"Intense? Rude? Forward?" Olivia offered.

Lauren chuckled. "I was going to say creepy."

"You nailed it. Anna set me up with him, and she's getting an ear full tomorrow."

"A good man is hard to find," Lauren said. "But it looks like Asa and Lyric were made for each other."

Olivia looked over her shoulder to see the happy couple swaying in a slow dance. A smile bloomed on Lyric's face as Asa whispered in her ear.

"They are. I'm so glad those two found each other."

Lauren inhaled a deep breath and looked down to brush her hands over her hunter-green dress. "I'm just glad he's okay. After…what happened."

Olivia reached out to Lauren. They'd talked many times since the night Lauren was abducted by the Wilson brothers. She'd suffered from a few bumps and bruises that were no small thing, but Asa had taken a bullet to the shoulder.

"Hey, none of it was your fault," Olivia whispered.

"I know, but that doesn't stop the nightmares. I've had dreams where the bullet hit his chest instead of his shoulder." Lauren looked at the happy couple, but she wasn't smiling.

Olivia squeezed Lauren's hand. "I'm glad you're both here. Your work isn't finished. The Lord still has a plan for you. Asa too, it seems."

Lauren's smile reappeared. "Thanks. You're right. I needed to hear that."

"Miss Lauren!"

Olivia turned to see Levi bounding toward them. Aaron and Jade followed behind him. The kid barreled into Lauren's arms, wrapping her in a tight hug.

"Oh, hey. Didn't see you there, Miss Olivia," Levi said as he gave her the same excited greeting.

Jade stepped up beside them with baby Annie resting on her chest. "I swear, this is Levi's dream come true. All of his favorite people are together in one place."

"It's awesome, isn't it?" Olivia asked.

Levi looked around. "Yeah, but where's Dawson?"

That was just what she'd been wondering. Well, Dawson hardly ever left her thoughts, but tonight, he'd been a real distraction. She had a wedding to manage, and the man was impossible to ignore.

"I can help you look for him," Lauren said.

Levi bounced on his toes. "Okay!"

Olivia turned to Aaron and Jade as Lauren and Levi slipped into the crowd. "He's such a good kid."

Jade patted baby Annie's back. "He's the sweetest, but he's a mess sometimes. I've been meaning to ask how you're doing. Levi said you were hurting when he was at the farm."

"Oh, I'm fine. It wasn't anything major. I'm sorry I worried him." Olivia rubbed the back of Annie's little head as she slept soundly on Jade's shoulder. "He adores Annie."

"He's proud to be a big brother," Aaron said.

"Would you like to hold her?" Jade asked.

"You don't have to ask me twice," Olivia said, reaching for the baby. Annie settled in her arms without opening her eyes. She was the epitome of peace and comfort, surrounded by the people she loved and trusted.

A twinge of longing pierced Olivia's chest, and the happiness faded to a cold dread. Baby fever was a real thing, and she'd been struck by the bug. It made innocent moments like this almost gut-wrenching.

"She's adorable!"

Olivia looked up to see Trey's date clasping her hands with a wide, open-mouthed smile. Trey was right behind the woman, caught off guard. He clearly hadn't expected Olivia to be the one holding the baby, and it seemed he hadn't filled the woman in on his connection to her.

"How old is she?" Trey's date asked.

Olivia stood frozen, unable to speak through the warring emotions. Of course, her cheating ex would catch her at a moment when she was lamenting the things she couldn't have.

"She's seven months," Jade said.

Trey's date said something else about Annie, but the roaring in Olivia's ears obstructed her hearing. Trey was staring at her with an expression she couldn't decipher. Was that pity?

Oh, no. Her breaths were coming quicker, and the thin air barely registered in her lungs.

"Liv, are you okay?" Jade asked.

"Um, yeah. I just need to get some air." She quickly passed Annie back to Jade and headed for the door without looking back. She'd apologize to Aaron and Jade later for the hasty exit, but she had precious few seconds to get away from the crowd before the panic attack reached its peak.

The chill in the night air stuck to the sweat beading down her back, but she could breathe again. The full, deep breaths spread a tingling over her skin as she scanned the vehicles parked at the ranch. The music from inside was muffled to a small hum.

Low blades of grass tickled her feet around her strappy heels as she walked over to the wall of the reception building. She rested her back against the wood and closed her eyes.

"Lord, help me. Help me," Olivia pleaded over and over. What was she even asking Him to do? What would it take to get rid of the irrational emotions?

She didn't care about Trey. Why did it bother her to see him? She was happy for Aaron and Jade. Why couldn't she look at a baby without wanting that life for herself?

She wasn't even in a relationship. Her wants didn't make any sense. Her overreaction seemed silly now that she was away from the triggers. Her breaths came easier, and her muscles relaxed.

The door opened, and an older couple stepped out into the darkness. The woman wrapped her arm around the man's, and they walked through the darkness and the parked cars that filled the hillside.

With a deep breath, Olivia headed back into the building. It took a moment for her vision to adjust to the bright lights. The entryway was empty, as well as the hallway leading around the outside of the main room.

"Liv."

Dawson strode down the hallway toward her. His tall frame and powerful stride matched his intense expression. He was usually the funniest guy in the room, but not right now.

They met halfway down the hallway, and he ducked his head to look into her eyes.

"Are you okay? I've been looking all over for you."

His piercing blue gaze bore into her. Why did her best friend have to be everything she ever wanted in a man? He made her laugh, he watched over her, and he protected her.

"I'm fine. I just stepped outside to get some air."

He inched closer and brushed a hand down her arm, leaving her skin tingling where he touched her. "Jade said you ran out of there pretty quickly. She thought something was wrong. Did that guy bother you?"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "No, Mark is long gone. He was a piece of work."

Dawson nodded once. "You said it."

"But you were thinking it," she added.

"You caught me. It took everything I had to keep from showing him to the door when he was rattling on and on about himself at dinner."

"Did you hear the part where he said he's been driving trucks for fifteen years?"

"Yeah. It's like he wants an award for it," Dawson said.

"Well, he told me yesterday that he's twenty-nine."

Dawson scrunched his nose. "That math ain't mathin', babe."

"Exactly. Plus, he was way too touchy."

Dawson's jaw clenched. "I was about half a second away from introducing him to my fist when you moved his hand."

Olivia covered her eyes. "Oh my goodness. You saw that?" Lingering embarrassment heated her face.

"Seriously, I'm glad he's gone. I didn't want to end up in jail tonight."

Olivia chuckled and lowered her hand, but there wasn't a trace of a smile on Dawson's face.

Oh. He was serious. Olivia wasn't a fan of unwanted touches, but what would she have done if Mark had been the slightest bit more forceful? She'd like to think she could take care of herself, but it was nice to know Dawson was always in her corner.

"No one needs to go to jail. He's gone."

Dawson's shoulders relaxed the slightest bit, and he leaned his side against the wall. "On another note, Levi asked Jade if you could be his teacher sometimes."

Olivia chuckled. Jade homeschooled Levi, and they used all of Blackwater Ranch as their classroom. "How did that go over?"

"Not well. You could tell Jade's feelings were hurt, but Levi said, ‘I only meant like two days a week or something.'"

"Oh no," Olivia whispered.

"Yeah. At least he didn't ask for three out of five. Jade might have cried."

"He knows he has the perfect teacher. They both love learning. He'd miss her if he had a different teacher."

"That's what I told him." Dawson glanced over Olivia's head and whispered, "Don't look now, but Trey just walked out."

Olivia tucked her chin at the mention of her ex. Between her awful date and Trey, Olivia was officially maxed out on awkward social situations.

She lifted her chin to let Dawson know she didn't care, but his usually friendly expression turned intense. He stepped closer, and she turned, resting her back against the wall.

"Want to make him jealous?" Dawson whispered.

Jealous? Who? She didn't have one thought in her head for anyone except Dawson–the man currently looking at her as if he wanted to consume her. His inviting eyes begged her to fall into the rush waiting mere inches away.

Dawson leaned closer and brushed his lips over her cheek, sending a tingling dancing over her skin. She inhaled an audible breath, but there wasn't anything she could do to stop her reaction. A second later, his rough fingertips grazed up her neck before resting at her nape. The pad of his thumb swept the sensitive skin below her ear.

The whole world fell away. The only thought in her head was the man adoring her with every touch. She was grounded to Dawson. Right here. Right now. Everything within her shifted, reaching for Dawson as if they were two magnets searching for their counterparts. Her carefully packaged mind came untied.

Dawson breathed her name in the hollow of her neck, and the vibration of his voice ran through her veins. His broad body shielded her as his hand rested on the wall beside her.

Heat rose from her middle, spreading throughout her body. The tension from her initial shock subsided, flowing out of her as she melted beneath his affection.

She lifted her hand to reach for him–to touch him the way he touched her.

Before her fingertips touched his back, his chin rose. He inhaled a deep breath and whispered, "Mission accomplished."

"What?" The question held all of the confusion blocking her thoughts.

"You should have seen the look on his face." Dawson pulled away, letting his hand slide down her arm as he retreated. The movement was like a sweep of the second hand past a number–holding on one second and gone the next.

Oh, her ex. If he'd seen Dawson mere centimeters from kissing her and clearly adoring her, he'd definitely gotten a show. The look on Trey's face probably mirrored the shock in her own expression.

Staring up at her friend, she forced her chest to expand and contract. Her feelings had taken on a mind of their own, growing and twisting into a tangled web that held her captive. Every muscle in her body begged to reach for him–to link his heart to hers in irreversible ways.

When she didn't look away, Dawson stared back at her. His head tilted slightly, silently asking what she wanted.

She wanted so much. Too much. There was a gaping hole in her chest that only Dawson could fill.

A door opened down the hallway, and both of them looked up in an instant. Mark and Bethany came out of a room with their arms wrapped around each other.

Olivia gasped as Dawson chuckled. The couple started toward them, and Dawson leaned his shoulder against the wall, blocking her from the couple's view. Pressing a finger against his lips, he waited for Mark and Bethany to stumble past.

Dawson and Olivia might as well have been invisible. Neither Mark nor Bethany could tear their attention away from each other to notice anything around them.

When the couple was out of sight, Olivia pressed a hand over her mouth and stared wide-eyed at Dawson.

"That was unexpected," he said.

Yeah. That and everything else about this night. Mark ending up with Bethany wasn't nearly as surprising as Olivia's desire to pull Dawson close and kiss him the way she wanted.

Olivia let out a breath and stared at the door where her awful date had just disappeared. "Wow."

"Those two are perfect for each other," he said.

"I thought he left," Olivia breathed as she lowered her hand.

"Looks like he found a reason to stick around."

The doors to the reception hall opened, and Asher and Haley appeared. Haley spotted them down the hallway and waved a friendly goodbye.

Dawson and Olivia waved back. If the Hardings had walked out a minute sooner, they would have seen Dawson nuzzling Olivia's neck.

Don't think about that.

Yeah, as if she'd be able to forget it. The lines he drew on her skin would be tingling for a while.

Olivia straightened her shoulders and brushed her hands down the sides of her silky dress. "I should get back in there. People will be leaving soon, and I need to stay and help clean up."

Dawson nodded. "I'll help."

"You don't have to. I can handle it."

"I know you can, but I want to. I don't have a date waiting on me."

Right. Anna was meant to be his date tonight. A cold chill dampened any fire Dawson had kindled inside her.

Anna was her friend–her friend who was completely infatuated with her other friend. How could she ever tell Anna about what happened with Dawson?

Technically, nothing happened. Olivia just had feelings for Dawson that were bubbling over–sure to be obvious to everyone if she didn't get them under control.

"Okay. If you're sure you don't have anything better to do on a Saturday night."

"There's no place I'd rather be."

Olivia rolled her eyes, but a traitorous smile played on her lips. It was much easier to think Dawson was joking when he said incredibly sweet things than to give in to the hope that his words held truth. "Of course."

She took the first step toward the reception, but Dawson grabbed her hand, holding it like a lifeline for a man lost at sea.

He lifted her chin with a gentle finger. When she looked at him, his playful smirk greeted her.

"Keep your chin up, my queen. You're the most beautiful woman in any room."

She couldn't play it off like his kindness didn't affect her anymore. Looks weren't her primary focus or even near the top of her list, but his assurances touched a soft part in her heart she'd forgotten to nurture.

"Thank you."

His hand dropped from her chin, and he flashed her a playful wink. "Let's finish up this night on a good note."

Nodding, she fell into step beside him as they made their way back to the reception. The dances were dying down, and guests congregated in groups to say their goodbyes.

When the crowd thinned, Olivia began working. The Bensons had generously offered their building for cheap, and she intended to leave it in better shape than before.

Once the happy couple were off, Dawson and a few other friends pitched in. Before long, everything was packed away, and the entire building was spotless.

Olivia tied up a large trash bag, but when she went to move it, the thing was so heavy it dragged on the ground.

"Got it!" Dawson said beside her before relieving her of the weight. Then he was off without another word.

Maybe he was right. Many hands did make light work.

Olivia finished sweeping the floor when Dawson walked back into the reception hall. The place looked bigger when it was empty.

"You ready to head out?" he asked.

Olivia looked around. She rode with Lyric to the ranch with the intention of asking Mark for a ride home, but that plan bit the dust a long time ago. "I think so."

Dawson jerked his chin toward the door. "Let me take you home."

Turning off lights and locking doors as she went, she followed Dawson out of the building. Stars hid behind clouds, leaving the night pitch black as soon as she turned off the exterior lights.

Dawson reached for her, wrapping his big hand around hers. The touch tightened her muscles at first, but she quickly relaxed as he guided her past the cabins to his truck.

The ride to her house was short and quiet. Getting up before the sun and working till well after dark wasn't out of the ordinary for either of them, but the emotional toll of the day had Olivia's shoulders sagging.

He pulled up in front of her small house and turned off the engine. Without a word, he got out and made his way around the truck to her. He could have just dropped her off in the driveway, but Dawson had never been that way. She stepped out of the truck, careful to watch her footing in the heels as she navigated the darkness.

She unlocked the door and turned to Dawson. Shadows covered his features, but she could easily make out the lines of his jaw and the heat in his eyes.

He took a step toward her, but she kept her place. A fire burned in her middle as he lifted a hand and brushed a stray curl behind her ear.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered. "I should have been your date."

Her small gasp was the only sound in the night. His words wound around her, tightening until she couldn't breathe. What could she say? How could she even respond to that?

One response fought for attention. She would have loved nothing more than to have been by his side tonight.

But another reply dampened the fire. He was meant to be her friend's date. Anna was already upset about missing her chance with Dawson. How could Olivia give in to the sweet hope Dawson offered her with a clear conscience?

She couldn't.

Dawson leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead. The connection was swift, but it seared her skin like a brand.

As if sensing the turmoil boiling inside her, he pulled back. "I'll call you tomorrow."

The only thing she could do was nod. Words were so far away, she couldn't even reach for them in the far recesses of her mind.

Olivia walked inside and closed the door as if she could keep out the ghost that was chasing her.

Her feelings weren't ghosts. They were tangible. They were dangerous. They were irritatingly persistent and cruel.

She rested her back against the door and sucked in breath after breath, fighting off the panic that had followed her inside.

Her breaths started to hitch, and she closed her eyes, pushing the moisture out. "God, why? Why am I so confused?" She covered her face and tucked her chin to her chest. "I want to be happy where I am. Don't tempt me with things I can't have!"

But Dawson would always be there–in her life and begging her to give in to the happiness he offered.

So would Anna. Her friend wasn't going anywhere, and neither were those feelings that were just as important as any Olivia had grown.

The phone in Olivia's purse dinged, and she searched for it. Her friend's name lit up the screen with a reply to her earlier message.

No, she couldn't have Dawson, no matter how much she wanted him.