Chapter 11: Harlow

Chapter Eleven

HARLOW

H e does not stop at the door. Gertie is leaving when we arrive, and he takes full advantage of it, holding the door open, petting the dog, waving goodbye. She was half in love with him by the time she got into her town car.

I scowl at him on the ride up to the fourth floor.

He just whistles with his hands in his pockets like he doesn't have a care in the world.

"Are you always like this?" I ask.

"Define ‘like this.'"

"Getting everything you want."

"Yes." He gives me an impish grin. It's the face of someone who has always gotten his way. "But usually, what I want is the same as what everyone else wants so everyone wins. And sometimes it's just luck."

I huff out a short breath because as much as I say I want him to leave, there's definitely a part of me that's getting used to him being by my side. And that's why it's so dangerous that he's around. If I start relying on him, I'll be devastated when he leaves. I'm barely recovering from the loss of Grams. I don't need to lose another love in my life.

Wait. Did I just mentally call him my love? I avert my face so he can't see my expression. I'm doomed.

"Do you have a headache?"

His hand comes between my forehead and the side of the elevator. I hadn't even realized I was lightly pounding my head against it. I sigh and straighten.

"No. Just had an unhappy thought bubble."

"What was it? Let's deal with it."

Again with the support. How will I function on my own? I can't rely on him more than I already have. I face him. "You have to leave. You can't force yourself on me like this. If I say that I don't want you around, you have to respect that."

"Babe—"

"No babe," I interrupt. "You don't get to call me that. I'm not your babe, your love, your anything. We have a deal, and I don't even know if I want to go through with it now. You need to leave me alone."

The doors open, and I rush out, nearly running down the hall to my apartment. Hands shaking, I manage to open the door. I look back to see Calix standing at the elevator, one foot out of the car, holding the door back. He looks puzzled and, I don't know, even hurt? Why would he be hurt?

I lay this all out to Ariel on the phone.

"Maybe because he wants to help. Like that's his thing—being someone's savior, and you're not allowing it."

"Right." But that didn't seem to ring true because he didn't want to save Mindy, just me.

"Are you going to give him the boot?"

"How can I now? Gertie's on my case, and now I've got Mindy, who is scary smart, also watching me. Even if I could find another man, it's going to be so obvious."

"You should have married a woman. I could have done it for you."

I sit back in shock. "Oh, I'm so dumb. My heteronormativity has done me in."

"Yup."

"Do you think it's too late to say I've had a bi awakening?"

"Yes."

"I thought so, I better go. I want to call my boss and ask about the CCTV coverage."

"Call me later if you want to talk. The good thing is that you know you're in danger so you can step back, put some distance between the two of you, and walk away with your apartment and no hurt feelings."

Encouraged by my chat with Ariel, I give my boss a call.

"Are you working on your day off?" she asks.

The semi-excitement in her voice gives me pause. "No, not exactly."

"Then what is it?" Her pleasant voice takes on a sour note.

This should have been my cue to say I have the wrong number and hang up, but stupidly I forge forward. "I wanted to ask if there's some way I can access the CCTV."

"The CCTV? Of our office?"

"Yes, a friend of mine said that most places have CCTV of the workspaces for safety reasons, and I remembered that there are cameras in the ceiling." I had thought they were newfangled sprinklers when I first started working there.

"You can't access them for no reason. That's a privacy issue. Why would you want them?"

"Because it's possible someone used my password and accessed my computer."

"Is this about the presentation Stacy gave last week? I thought we had put this matter to bed. I'm very disappointed in you, Harlow, and I don't understand how we can operate as a team when you harbor these unfounded suspicions against your coworkers. I told you before that if you had another strike against you, I'd have to let you go. This is another strike. You'll get a letter from HR on Monday. Don't bother to come in."

She hangs up before I can even respond. I'm too stunned to cry.