17. Luke

Xander pushed me against the door as it closed behind us, clicking into place. His hands were on me before I could say a word, feeling me up as he kissed me softly and deeply. He moved his lips down, pressing his teeth against my neck hard enough to send a dull ache through the scars he left last time.

His fingers grasped the bottom of my shirt which he tugged on, pulling over my head in a single swift motion. He moved to my pants next, wasting no time in getting those off. I waited for him to strip down too, but that moment never came. I made a move to take his shirt off, but his hands grabbed onto mine and pulled them away before I revealed even an inch of his waist.

“Aren’t we having sex?” I asked breathlessly.

“Yes, of course,” Xander replied. “Unless you don’t want to?”

I shook my head vigorously. “Of course I want to. I’ve been fantasizing about this all week. But you have to get undressed if we’re going to…”

He backed away from me, my arms still reaching out to embrace him as we separated. I had no idea what I’d done to make him stop so abruptly, but I had no intention of doing it again. It would have helped to know what exactly it was first, but I would figure it out one way or another.

Before I could ask him what was wrong, he sat down on the edge of the bed and beckoned for me to come join him. Eager to continue where we left off seconds earlier, I sat down on his lap, straddling him between my thighs.

I leaned into his heatless body and kissed him as a draft blew through the already cold room, making me shiver. Xander wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer in a vain attempt to warm me up. He lacked the body heat to share his own warmth, so it was more akin to pressing my bare skin against a cold stone wall.

I tried to ignore the chill in the room, focusing instead on the gorgeous man underneath me. Fortunately, it was hard to take my thoughts off Xander, and soon enough I was consumed by his addictive presence, the cold room drifting to the very back of my mind.

“I can’t wait any longer,” I breathed, my words getting lost somewhere in the folds of Xander’s shirt. “Look what you’re doing to me.”

I moved his hand below my waist where his fingers found my cock, stroking it lightly. I reached down to feel the bulge growing in his pants, practically begging me to get on my knees and suck it off. I would have done so right there if Xander had let me, but for some reason, I didn’t think he would, and I wasn’t about to ask and ruin the moment.

I should have tempted fate and asked because the longer we stayed locked together on the edge of the bed, the quieter Xander got. He stopped kissing me, he stopped touching me, and he stopped whispering all the dirty things he wanted to do to me.

“Give me a moment,” he said after a short pause, pushing me off his lap so he could get up.

I shifted onto the bed, confused, as he made his way into the bathroom. “Where are you going?”

“To get undressed.”

He began to pull on the brassy doorknob to close the door, but I grabbed his arm and stopped him in his tracks. I couldn’t possibly hurt him, so I didn’t worry about pulling too hard.

“Wait a minute.”

Xander cocked his head at me, wrenching his arm away from my limp grasp. I should have known I didn’t stand a chance against a vampire.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“That’s what I should be asking you. Stay here and throw your clothes on the floor like the rest of us uncivilized folk do.” I laughed to let him know that this was all a lighthearted interaction, but he didn’t offer so much as a smile in return.

“I shall do things the way I prefer,” he said icily. “Now, let me undress in privacy and I shall return in a minute or two.”

I backed away slowly, weighing my options. Out of everything I could have done, I probably should have let it go, but I pressed on.

“You aren’t embarrassed for me to see you naked, are you? For Christ’s sake, Xander, we’ve had sex together already. If I cared what your body looked like, I wouldn’t have slept with you.”

Xander shrank away, his tall frame taking up less and less of the space. “I think you should reserve your judgments until you’ve seen me in the light,” he said quietly. “I’m not many humans’ ideal body type, I’ll say that much.”

I had to be careful with what I said next. If I minimized Xander’s discomfort with his body, I could ruin the entire night. But if I turned it into a bigger deal than it already was, I might never see him naked at all.

“Well, how do you know that you’re not my ideal body type?” I asked after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence. “You can’t know unless you let me see you.”

Xander shook his head. “I’d rather not. We have fun in the dark, do we not?”

I nodded. “Of course.”

“Excellent. Let us stick with that, then.” He began to close the bathroom door on me again, and this time I didn’t grab his arm. I crossed mine over my chest, shaking my head.

“I can’t do that.”

The door was open only a sliver now. “What?”

“I can’t stay here tonight if I know that you’re this uncomfortable around me. It wouldn’t be right or fair to you.”

The door swung open again, nearly hitting me before it banged against the door stop on the wall. Xander stared at me, his cold, harsh eyes boring deep into my soul. “Then leave if you must.”

He watched me, waiting for me to turn around and leave, but I had no intention of doing that. I was too far gone to let the night go that quickly, and I suspected Xander knew as much and was calling my bluff, trying to push me to my very limit.

Two could play that game, though.

“At least show me what you look like without your shirt on – before I leave, of course.” I smiled. “I’ll even help you take it off.”

Xander paused for a beat, his fingers curling around the edge of the door. His knuckles turned an even paler shade, if that was possible, as he squeezed them tight. I stood my ground, watching him think through his options. I could almost see the wheels turning in his head. He wanted me and I wanted him, but only in his purest, most vulnerable form. Would he be willing to give me that?

He released his grip on the door and took a step forward, stopping far enough away from me that I had to move closer to be able to touch him.

My hands were shaking as I reached toward him, but I tried not to show that as I took hold of the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head, revealing a ghostly pale, gaunt chest.

I didn’t know exactly what to expect, but I certainly wasn’t surprised. If Xander thought he was going to shock me with a lifeless vampiric body, it wasn’t going to happen. I’d seen too much of him already to think I was getting a normal human man.

He scrutinized every eye movement, every micro-expression I accidentally made as I wadded his shirt up in my hands and threw it on the ottoman at the end of the bed.

“Well?” he said, raising an eyebrow.

I shrugged. “I guess we should get rid of your pants next.”

Xander grabbed my wrists, preventing me from touching him. “Not so fast.”

“What now?”

“I want your honest opinion. No one ever seems to want to cross a vampire, so reactions to me are either uncontrollable horror or trite compliments.”

I sighed. “Fine, I’ll give my opinion. But only after all your clothes are gone. I’ve waited long enough; you’re not going to take this moment away from me now.”

Xander released my wrists reluctantly and I worked on unzipping the fly of his pants. I was admittedly excited to see his cock. I’d felt it through his pants and I’d felt it inside me before, but this was different.

Eagerly, I slid his pants and underwear down, revealing his thick, lengthy cock, hard and slick with precum. It was tough to control my impulses, but I finished helping Xander get undressed and stepped back to size him up. He asked for my honest opinion and I was going to give it to him, whether he liked it or not.

His usually overbearing figure looked like he wanted to disappear into the wall behind him, but Xander stayed rooted in place.

“What do you think?” he asked.

“You’re…” Words escaped me. I couldn’t help it, I was entranced by the sexy vampire standing in front of me. “…hot.”

Xander nodded slowly. “And that is good.”

“Better than good.” I laughed in an effort to pull myself out of my trance.

Xander narrowed his eyes for just a second before unscrewing his face and smiling, drawing me close to him till there was no space between us.

“You’re a fool,” he told me, “and I hope you never change.”