Chapter 29 - Dom

I haven't been home in three days, and if I'm being truthful, I don't want to. I love being here, being close to Danil, making up for lost time. I had thought the sex we had on Saturday night was the best ever, but I was wrong. Since then, it has only gotten better. We spend most of our evenings either on the couch or naked in bed. Who would want to leave that and go home?

I am sleeping better here, too. I've only had one nightmare; it was just as bad as the others, but when I woke up screaming Alessia's name and covered in sweat, Danil had held me. Let me cry. Told me that it was okay and that he was here. He then gave me the best blow job ever to help me forget. I'm scared to go home and face the nightmares on my own again.

"Hey," Danil says, coming over to me and giving me a kiss. I had been so lost in my thoughts that I hadn't heard him come in. To him it probably looked like I hadn't moved. When he left this morning, I was on the couch, legs up, and I am in the same position on the couch now.

"Hey," I answer, and am about to tell him that I have moved when he looks around the apartment.

"Did you clean?" Danil asks.

"Yeah."

"Dom, youre supposed to rest," Danil scolds. "You are the one that wants to walk at Papas wedding without a cane."

"I've been resting, too," I tell him.

When we woke from our nap on Saturday, I had told Danil my plan to walk into G's wedding without my cane. He had not been happy. Told me point blank that it wasn't happening, and he only relented when I said I would be taking my cane along. And, the doctors had given me extra exercises to do at home to strengthen my muscles, which he had insisted on helping me with.

"You were deep in thought when I came in. What were you thinking about?" Danil asks, as he sits down on the couch, tapping my feet so I lift my legs and he can shuffle over. Resting my legs on his lap, Danil starts massaging my feet.

"Oh, that is good," I say.

"Dom, what were you thinking about?" Danil asks again, letting go of my feet.

"Hey!" I protest.

"You are trying to ignore my question. No foot massage until you tell me."

"Fine." I nod at him to start rubbing my feet again. "I was thinking that I need to go home."

Danil stops rubbing my feet and looks up at me. "You want to go home?" And there is no mistaking the hurt.

"That's the problem, I don't," I tell him. I know it's only been three days since we got back together, but I've noticed we talk more. We talk about our worries and concerns. We communicate with each other. We both have realized that is where we failed last time, we jumped to conclusions without talking or listening to each other. "I sleep better here with you, and I'm scared of dealing with my nightmares on my own."

"Then don't," Danil says, like this is the simplest option.

"I have to. I need clothes, too."

"No, you don't. I have told you, I am more than happy for you to walk around naked. But you insist on wearing clothes. Thank God you're just as sexy in one of my t-shirts," is Danil's reply.

"Danil, I am being serious," I state. I want to have a serious conversation with him about this, not joke about how I look in his t-shirts.

"Dom," Danil calls my name, and I look over at him. He has stopped rubbing my feet and is looking directly at me. "I know you are being serious, but so am I. Don't move back home. Move in here with me. Permanently."

What? I wait for a split second for Danil to say that he is joking, but it never comes. Danil is being one hundred percent serious.

"We have been back together for three days."

"And, I have been dreading the day when you said you would have to go home. This apartment hasn't felt like home since you left four months ago. Now it does." Danil continues, "I actually did something today and was trying to figure out how to discuss it with you. Move your legs for me."

Lifting my legs up off his lap, Danil gets up off the couch and goes over to his messenger bag. He pulls out a paper bag before coming back over to me, but instead of sitting back on the couch he sits on the edge of the coffee table.

"Are you able to sit facing me?" Danil asks.

Swinging my legs off the couch, I twist so that I am facing Danil. He grabs hold of my hands and looks up into my face.

"Over the last few years I have had to witness everyone close to me fall in love, and I've been jealous, every time. I told everyone I was happy. I wasn't. I wanted what they had. I never thought I would find that, till you. Dom, I love you," Danil starts, and it's the first time he has said the words to me since Friday night. We told Jeff that we said them, but he hasn't actually said them to me like this until now. "And you belong in this apartment with me."

Danil picks up the paper bag next to him and hands it over to me and I tip it out into my hand. There are two keys nestled in my palm. One I recognize as a key to the apartment and the other, I am guessing, is the security key to the building.

"I got them made today. Well, the apartment key, anyway. I had to talk to the building supervisor regarding the security key, but he was fine, actually I think he was rather happy. Told me you were nicer than the other friend that visited who gave him the creeps. I think he was talking about Rory," Danil tells me.

"And you did all this today?" I ask, and he just nods his head. Looks like we were thinking about the same things at the same time.

"Yeah. No more looking back. As Trip would say, someones past doesn't define them. Maybe its time we used the same message for us," Danil says.

"That was quite some speech to say no to," I tell him.

"But you are still saying no," And Danil's face falls.

"Nope, but there is a but," I say over to him.

"Which is?"

"We need to tell my parents what is going on. I need to come out to them," I say. "I don't want to lie about myself anymore, and I also don't want to lie about you."

"You are not doing that on your own. I need to be there. Maybe G and Papa too. If they hurt you…" Danil starts.

"I want you there, but I dont think that they are going to do anything," I tell him.

"I also wanted to talk to you about the rest of the family," Danil states. "Papa and Mom know, and I have an idea on how to tell the others, if youre okay with keeping us a secret for a little bit longer, but I want to make sure its okay with Papa, too."

"Okay, whats this idea of yours?" Not sure I am liking the whole need to check with Frank.

"Did G say that you could bring a plus one?" Danil asks.

"Yeah, my plan was to take Katie, not sure that is happening now."

"Youre too damn right it's not! On another note, though, you need to arrange for us to meet. I need to thank her for sending you back to me. But anyway, back to the wedding. How would you like to be my date?"

"But we are both already going, and you are your Papa's best man," I argue, not sure where all this is going.

"Aren't you G's, as well? Papa said he was going to talk to you."

"G did ask me, but the thought of sitting in my chair, with everyone standing around me, was not something I wanted. I told him to ask Lorenzo."

"But you could do it now?" Danil says to me.

"Maybe, but look how exhausted I got on Saturday?"

"There was other stuff going on, but I understand. I do think that when G sees you walk in, he is going to want you up there with him, and I will be close by, if you need anything."

"So, your plan is to arrive together as each others dates?" I ask him.

"Exactly. I want us to walk into that venue holding hands. Lets tell everyone all at once."

"Thats why you want to check with Frank. You want to make sure you don't steal their thunder," I realize.

"Yeah, but I think Papa will be fine with it."

I sit there staring at Danil, thinking over the conversation. It took a horrible accident, a tragic death, and a major breakup to get us to this point and I really wouldn't have had it any other way, except for the loss of Alessia. She should be here to witness this. But I know that she is watching down over me, smiling.

"Do you want some food before we head over to your parents' place?" Danil asks, getting up from the coffee table and heading towards the kitchen.

"You want to go over tonight? I'm not sure if they're even home."

"Text them," Danil states.

Picking up my cell, I open my text thread with my mom.

Dom: Hey momma, are you home? I need to talk to you and papa. Its important.

I used to know Momma and Papa's schedules at the restaurant, but that was because they had begun leaving more of the work to Matt. Then everything happened with Matt, and they had to step back up. I had helped, but it hadn't been enough. In the end they had decided to hire a manager, part-time, but I wasn't sure if that had increased to full-time since my accident.

My cell beeps on the table and the notification on the screen lets me know that Momma has replied.

Momma: We are here for another couple hours.

Hitting reply I tell Momma that we are going to be over soon.

"Looks like it's my parents before food," I say over to him.

"Lets get going then," Danil replies.

Once we're in the car, nerves hit me. What the hell do I do if they react the same as when G and Matt came out? Maybe they'll be more understanding because I'm bi, though they might think that there's a chance I will find a nice girl and settle down. I never told them about Katie, I think they suspected there was someone, but they didn't push.

"You've gone quiet. Talk to me?" Danil says.

"Just nervous. Previous experience dictates that this is not going to go well, and I'm not sure what I'm going to do then."

"You will survive, just like G and Matt, and its not like you won't have family," Danil says gently.

"That is true." But it's not just me that I'm thinking about, it's Momma and Papa. If they throw me out, if they disown me, then they will have lost all their children.

Ten minutes later, Danil is parking the car a little ways down the street from my parents home, but neither of us get out of the car right away. Both of us know that this needs to be done, but we're also not looking forward to it.

"Are you ready?" Danil asks, looking over to me.

"No, but it needs to be done," I reply, finally opening the door and getting out of the car.

We walk up the sidewalk holding hands, I don't care who sees me. The neighbors will probably complain. Tell my mom that it's disgusting, and Momma will agree, but I am not going to change.

Dropping Danil's hand, I open the front door and shout hello.

"In the living room," Momma shouts back.

I give Danil a look and he leans over and says, "Stay strong. You can do this. I will be right behind you."

Taking a deep breath, I walk into the living room.

"Hey Momma, Papa," I said to them.

"Should you be on your feet?" Momma states, suddenly fussing.

"It's okay, Momma. I have my cane, and the doctor said it's better for me to keep moving."

"Won't you at least sit down now?" Papa asks.

"Actually, I think I want to stand for this conversation," I tell them.

"Dom, it might be better for you to sit down," Danil says next to me.

"Domenico, who is he?" Papa demands.

"He is the reason that I wanted to come and talk to you." I pause, looking from Momma to Papa. "This is Danil. My boyfriend."

I thought they were going to explode. Jump out of their chairs and demand that I leave. Say that I was a disgrace, but they don't. They just sit there, silently looking at each other before Momma finally talks.

"So, you are like them." And I know who Momma is referring to when she says them. "A homosexual."

"No Momma. I like girls and boys," I say over to them. "I'm bisexual."

"Then go out and find yourself a girl," Papa demands.

"I fell in love with Danil so that is not going to happen."

"Leave," Papa demands. "Go to your brothers. You are not welcome here while youre with a man."

"Ernesto," Momma says, looking over to him.

"Do you think that me telling you this is easy? What you have done in the past to Giovanni and Matteo scares me. But you have the right to know."

Momma seems to be listening to me, I think, but they are both too quiet, and it's scarier than them shouting at me. Anger I can deal with, this feels strange.

"All our boys have let us down," Ernesto says. "How could they do this?"

"Papa, we aren't the ones who let you down. You did," I say over to them as gently as I can. "Being gay and bi isn't something we decided, it was how we were made. Now, you've destroyed any chance of having a relationship with Giovanni and Matteo, but I am still standing here."

Momma looks over to me, and I can see that there are tears in her eyes, and I know its because of me. Knowing that you've caused your parents pain, even through no fault of your own, is tough, but they are also responsible for their opinions. They still don't say anything.

"Look," I say, still needing to talk. "I know that you are not going to change your views, and if you want me to leave, then I will honor that, but if you do, there is no turning back. You will have lost all your children. I am standing here saying that if you can look past who I love then I will always be in your lives."

"Domenico," Momma starts. "A boyfriend will never be accepted in this house."

"I know that," I tell her.

"Ernesto," Momma says over to him. "We have lost so much already. Are you really ready to lose Domenico too?"

"While he sins in the eyes of God, by lying with a man, he is not welcome here. If he comes to his senses, then he will always have a place here," Papa replies.

"I am sorry that you feel that way, Papa. I am sorry that you are going to lose me from your life, but I will honor your wishes. But know this, I wasn't asking you to change, but to look beyond your beliefs. You have chosen your religion over your own children, and that is sad."

Turning to look at Danil, his eyes are sad. "Lets go and pack."

We both make our way upstairs to my bedroom, neither of us talking, the weight of this meeting on our shoulders. Danil had brought some bags with him. Hoping that we wouldn't have to use them.

"What do you want to take?" Danil asks as we enter my room.

"My clothes and my photos," I say over to him. "Everything else can stay."

Between us, we pack up my childhood room within twenty minutes. My whole life is limited to mere bags. Looking around the room, I am not sure what I feel. There is a mixture of sadness and bitterness. This is how I am leaving the family home. Even after everything they've lost, this is what they decided.

Going back downstairs, I head back into the living room. Momma and Papa are still sitting in the same seats, but I see a tear rolling down Mommas cheek. Papas face is stoic.

"This is your last chance. Please don't shut me out," I beg them.

But neither of them answer me and all my fight leaves. Whats the point, when nothing I say is going to make a blind bit of difference.

"Excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. Romano but please listen to Dom. He wants you in his life. He knows that you were never going to accept me, and yet he was still willing to see you, don't throw this chance away," Danil says passionately.

"His name is Domenico, not Dom," Papa spits back. "And I am not going to listen to someone like you. Someone who is happy to break a family apart."

"Danil didn't break this family apart, you did," I say to him, feeling like a broken record. Papa cannot seem to understand that he and Momma, and their actions, are the ones that tore the family apart. Not us.

"There is one more thing, Mr. Romano," Danil says, and I don't like the way his tone of voice has changed. It has an edge to it that I have only heard from Frank. "You do anything to hurt Dom, and I do mean anything, I won't be as lenient as Giovanni and Matteo."

I cannot believe that Danil just said that to Papa, and I watch as Papa's eyes widen at the threat.

"You don't scare me," Papa snaps back.

"Maybe not, but I think my dad does, and he will protect the person I love. Unlike you," Danil states back.

"And your father is?" Papa demands.

"Frank."

Papa does actually sink back into his seat. His fight over.

"Ernesto," Celeste says. "Stop. If this is Franks son, he will know Lorenzo. We cannot risk the restaurant." Papa seems to listen to Mommas words and nods his head in agreement.

"Domenico," Momma says, not turning her attention to me. "I think that it is better that you leave."

Turning, I walk out of the house, closing the door behind me. I still cannot believe that they disowned me. I thought that I would be able to get through to them, but I couldn't, and the reality is that not only have I lost my parents, but I have also lost my job.

"Domenico," Mommas voice shouts just as we reach the car, and I turn to face her.

"Momma?" Wondering why she is out here.

"I can't lose you," Momma says, her voice thick with emotion. "I don't agree with this," Momma says pointing to me and Danil, "but I have lost too many of my children already."

"What about Papa?" I ask her.

"I can deal with Papa," Momma states. "You won't be able to come to the house, but we will meet."

"Okay, Momma," I say, pulling her into a hug.

"Umm, there is one more thing," Momma asks looking back over her shoulder. "How are Giovanni and Matteo?"

"They are good. I wish you could see them. Actually, Giovannis wedding is coming up. A week from Saturday in fact," I say over to her.

"Will you pass on a message to them?" Momma asks quietly.

"Of course."

"Tell them I said hello, and that I am sorry," Momma says before turning and walking away.