Chapter 18: Danil

I hated that I couldn't collect Dom from the hospital. Not being there all day had been bugging me. Not to mention the fact that Dom had told me not to go. He knew how much being there for him meant to me, and he had dismissed it. My plan is to talk to him about it tonight. Make him aware that next time, there is no staying home, that I plan to be there for every step of his recovery. I'm just pleased that Rory was able to go get him for me.

But finally, my meeting is over. I still can't believe they threw that one at me at the last minute. Even though I tried to get out of it, I knew that it was important to attend, and considering how understanding my office has been, I needed to stay.

My cell phone starts ringing the moment I walk out the main doors, and I see Rorys name flashing up on the screen and fear grips me. Has something happened to Dom? Rory never normally calls me and so I quickly swipe to answer.

"Rory. Everything okay?" Even I can even hear the edge of panic in my voice.

"Yeah, Dom was exhausted from the hospital and just went to bed, so I wondered if you wanted to meet for a coffee?"

Oh, that would be nice. Having a coffee. I haven't had much time to myself this last week.

"What about Dom?" Thinking about how I found him on the floor when I got home yesterday.

"I mentioned taking you for coffee and made sure that he has his cell next to him. He said it was fine."

I hesitate for a moment. Is Rory right, did Dom really say it was okay? I would call him to confirm, but I really don't want to wake him up if he's asleep, especially if he's that exhausted.

"Danil, Dom is going to be fine. You need to have some time away, if only for an hour," Rory states, and I know what he's saying is true but….

"Okay, that would be nice," I tell him. "It would be nice to talk to someone other than Dom." Maybe I can get his opinion on what happened with Dom and the flowers.

"We don't want to go too far from the apartment just in case Dom calls you. How about the coffee shop that is about a block from your place?" Rory suggests.

This is why Rory has become such a good friend. Even though he suggested a coffee, he made sure to choose a place that was close to home to make me feel comfortable, so if Dom did call me I could get home quickly.

"That sounds great. I can get there in about twenty minutes," I explain.

"Perfect, I will stay here for a little longer and meet you there."

"Sounds great. Bye." I hang up the phone and start making my way over to the coffee shop.

Getting to the coffee shop, I look around just in case Rory is already there, but he isn't. So, I found a table and sat down. A waitress comes over, and I explain that I'm just waiting for a friend who is due any minute.

A few minutes later Rory arrives, and spotting me in the corner, makes his way over to me.

"Hey," he says, as I rise and pull him into a hug. "Seems like forever since we got coffee together."

"Its probably only been a few weeks," I said to him.

"You need to make sure you make time for yourself, Danil states. "You cannot be at Dom's beck and call all the time. That's not healthy."

"It won't be forever. Dom needs me at the moment," I reply.

Rory pulls a face at my words, and I'm just about to ask him what that face was about when the waitress comes back over, and we both order a cappuccino, and I wait for the waitress to leave.

"What was that face for?" I ask.

"What face?" Rory questions.

"The face you pulled when I said that Dom needs me."

"I didn't pull a face," Rory says, but is avoiding looking at me.

"You did. Now, tell me."

"Okay, but look, I'm just saying this because I'm your best friend, and I care, but does Dom really need you to do everything?"

"Of course, who else is there?" I demand, not sure where this conversation is going, or if I like the tone of Rorys voice.

"It's just, I see you staying home, looking after Dom, but what about his family? Could they help?"

"Dom's family all work in the evening, plus, they're coping with Alessias death."

"Danil, this is gonna sound harsh, but Alessia has passed, Dom hasn't. They can't use grief or working as an escape to help, you're working all day and still looking after him. Has Dom even called them?"

"I don't know," I tell him honestly.

"Not surprised," Rory mumbles, and I think he tried to say that under his breath, but he wasn't as quiet as he thought.

"Rory, what on earth has gotten into you?" I ask. Rory had never had a bad word to say about Dom, and now he's sitting here saying this.

"Nothing, its just, oh, I don't know. Dom seems to have taken over your life. I'm lucky enough to still see you, but Remy and Ambrose are always asking after you."

"They are?" I hadn't realized I had been neglecting my friends, which was never my intention, but before Rory could say anything more, the waitress comes over with our drinks, placing a cup in front of each of us.

"Yeah, and you weren't like that before Dom, and I'm not just talking about the accident. You were distant before that," Rory says as he picks up his cup, gently blowing on it before taking a sip.

"Well, we were keeping our relationship on the down low. You know that."

"Whose choice was that? Because you know your friends wouldn't have said anything," Rory asks.

"Well, Dom's really," I state. "We both agreed. Especially due to his family situation."

"But Dom was the one who said not to tell friends? People who have been there since you came out?"

Picking up my coffee, I think over Rory's words, and I hate to admit it, but he seems to be making sense. It has me wondering if this has something to do with why Dom didn't want me to go to the hospital with him.

"Dom never said not to tell friends…" I start lamely.

"And yet you didn't." Rory doesn't say anything more but keeps looking at me, and there is no mistaking the concern in his eyes.

"Do you think Dom wanted to keep us a secret? What about telling Alessia and you guys? Not to mention me coming out to my Papa," I say, trying to defend my relationship. Trying not to let Rorys words take hold.

"You came out to your Papa; you didn't tell him you're with Dom. Whose decision was it to come out to Alessia and us?"

"Well…" I state, because at this moment I cannot really remember which one of us mentioned it first.

"Look Danil, I'm sorry, you know that I like Dom, but I don't want to see you hiding who you are just because he wants to hide himself from his family."

"Well, I think it's more his parents. His brothers I'm sure would be fine."

"And yet he never told them, even after an accident that could have taken his life."

I open my mouth to say something to refute that, and yet, nothing comes out. Was our relationship completely one-sided? I thought we were falling in love with each other but was it only me falling in love with Dom and Dom just looking at me as what, a fling? We had been going out for three months before the accident.

"You know, Dom stopped me going to the hospital today," I say over to Rory. "I was going to ask your opinion on that today."

"Well, that doesn't come as a surprise," Rory replies, picking up his coffee but never once breaking eye contact with me. "If he loved you or even trusted you, he would have wanted you there with him."

Again, I don't want to admit it, Rory is right. He just voiced what I had been thinking all day. As his boyfriend, the one person helping him daily, I should have been there.

"Actually, there was something else," Rory starts. "I wasn't going to say anything but maybe you should know."

"What?" I ask hesitantly.

"You know the flowers you got sent?"

"Yeah."

"Well Dom instantly asked me if you were cheating," Rory says softly.

"Yeah, I know," I reply. "When I got home, he kinda confronted me. I told him that wasn't the case."

"But I already had," Rory says. "I told him that it was nothing. Goes to show that he didn't believe it if he said something to you."

"I just…" I start but then ask, "Why are you only telling me now?" wondering why Rory is only bringing this to my attention now.

"Danil, I didn't know about him until a month ago. Then he was in the accident. I have only seen the real him this week, and you and I haven't had a chance to talk privately until now." He pauses for a moment and licks his lips. "And I might not have said anything if he hadn't mentioned the cheating, it just…"

"Just what?" I ask, but I think I know what he is going to say.

"He doesn't trust you, Danil, and you deserve so much better than that."

Yep, that is what I thought he was going to say. Thoughts I have had myself today, thoughts I believed to be wrong, but hearing them voiced out loud by someone who has been witness to our relationship first hand, telling me the same, hits home. I was right. Dom doesn't trust me, and I don't think I can be with someone who doesn't trust me.

"Thanks Rory," I say over to him.

"I'm sorry," Rory replies, and I genuinely feel bad that Dom put him in the situation where he wasn't sure whether to talk to me or not.

"Nothing to be sorry for. Thank you for talking to me. You're a good friend."

Rory knows that I have checked out of the conversation. He tries to talk to me, he knows that I'm not really listening, but he doesn't seem bothered. I think he's doing it to get my mind off Dom, but nothing is going to help with that.

Dom, I thought, was going to be the man for me. He was the man I wanted more with. The man that was more than just a one-night stand. I thought we had a connection, but I think the only connection we have, or had, was amazing sex. That isn't enough to build a relationship on.

The waitress comes over to take our empty coffee cups and asks us if we want anything else. I just ask for the check. I need to get back to the apartment. I need to end things with Dom before I fall any deeper, and I need to arrange for him to be picked up by someone.

"Youre going to be okay?" Rory asks once the check has been paid and we are standing outside on the sidewalk.

"I have no idea," I reply truthfully. I have no idea what I'm going to say or what I'm going to do, but the only thing I know that I have to do is get Dom out.

Walking back to the apartment, I pull out my cell and call Papa. He's the only person I can think of right now that can help. Its not ideal, but Dom is going to have to stay with them, I just have no idea how I can word this.

"Danil," Papa says down the line.

"Hey Papa."

"What's wrong?" Papa asks instantly, and I sometimes forget how good he is at reading people, even over the phone.

"Um, Papa, I need you to come and collect Dom. Look, I'm really sorry, but I just can't look after him anymore," I say.

"What happened?"

"I almost missed out on an important meeting today. My office has been great, but I can't risk that happening again," I say, thinking on my feet, and it's not really a lie.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Papa asks, and I can hear his concern.

"Because I was the one that offered to help."

"You tried, and Gio and I are so grateful. When do you need us to pick him up?"

Taking a deep breath, "Tonight. I have important meetings tomorrow and I have to be in the office, and I cannot be worrying about Dom."

"I understand. Give me an hour or so. I'll call when I'm on my way."

"Thanks Papa. Talk to you soon," I say, and hang up the call.

Before I even realize it, I'm standing outside my apartment door. I don't even remember traveling up in the elevator. My heart is just too heavy. But I know that this is the right thing. Rory was right. I deserve to have someone who is going to trust me with every aspect of their lives, but why does this also hurt so much?

Putting the key in the lock, I turn it, pausing for the briefest of moments before pushing open the door. I was expecting the living room to be empty, especially after Rory telling me that Dom had gone to bed, but he's sitting in his wheelchair in the middle of the living room. And he does look exhausted.

"We need to talk," Dom says, not even saying hello.

"We do," I confirm.

"Who is he?" Dom demands.

"Who is who?" I ask.

"The man you have been seeing behind my back. The man who sends you flowers and cookies."

Is he seriously starting with this shit again? Did what I said to him yesterday mean nothing to him? But then considering he doesn't trust me, why am I surprised?

"I am not seeing anyone," I tell him, trying to rein in my anger.

"Bullshit!" he shouts back at me. "Someone just sends you gifts, with handwritten notes without anything going on?"

"You know what is bullshit?" I spit back at him.

"What?"

"This," I say, pointing from me to him.

Dom doesn't say anything to this, and at the moment I have nothing more that I want to say to him. Turning away from him, I walk into the bedroom and find the duffle bag that he came with. I want to make sure that I pack everything belonging to him. Taking his clothes out of the drawers, I put them in the bag. I want to stuff them in, but if Papa or Gio were to open it and see the clothes just stuffed in, they might wonder why.

Walking back out of the room, I go into the bathroom to collect all his toiletries, most importantly his toy. It may have been petty of me, but I laid that front and center in the bag, for the same reason I folded the clothes. I wanted G or Papa to see it.

Going back into the bedroom, I double check everywhere, making sure that I have gotten everything that belongs to Dom. Closing up the bag I walk back into the living room and throw the bag at the feet of Dom.

"I want you to leave," I tell him.

"So we aren't even going to talk about this," Dom states.

"Talk about what?" I start. "The fact that you don't trust me?"

"You have given me every reason to distrust you. Why don't you just own up to the fact you met someone else, and can leave knowing the truth."

"I haven't, hell, I wouldn't cheat, you should know this of me." I snap back at him

"Rory confirmed that you're cheating," Dom snaps back.

"Don't bring Rory into this," I demand. I can't believe that he's trying to bring Rory into this. The one person that has been there for me. "And I know he didn't. He wouldn't."

"Oh yes, the saint that is Rory. The man who can do no wrong," Dom says, and then his eyes widen. "That's who it is, isn't it? You're sleeping with Rory."

Oh my God. I cannot believe that Dom has just sunk to this level. Now accusing me of sleeping with my best friend.

"What the hell!" I shout over to him. "Rory? You're accusing me of sleeping with Rory?"

"You're sleeping with someone."

"No, I am fucking not!" I almost scream at him, but I can tell by the look on Dom's face that he doesn't believe it. "I'm your boyfriend. No sorry, scratch that, I was your boyfriend. You are supposed to believe and trust me."

"Believe you. Are you joking? All the evidence proves youre lying," Dom states back.

"Wow. I'm aso glad Rory made me realize the type of man you are."

"Rory?" Dom suddenly questions, looking at me.

But I am not going to waste my time elaborating anymore. Dom wouldn't believe me and I definitely don't want to hear anything more he has to say, but I am saved by my cell ringing and when I look at it, Papa is flashing on the screen.

"Hi Papa," I say, but I never stop looking at Dom. I want him to hear everything that I am saying. "Dom is all packed and ready to go. Thanks, Papa. Yeah, see you soon." Hanging up the call and putting the cell back in my pocket.

"My Papa is on the way to get you," I say. "I told him that I'm needed at work."

Dom is still not saying anything. He doesn't even look sad that we're splitting up. Whereas with every second that passes, I feel the fractures appearing in my heart. The first man that I fell in love with is just staring at me. Not making any attempt to save what we had. I suppose I should be looking past the pain that is piercing my soul and think of it as more evidence. That this was actually saving me more heartache in the future.

"I would appreciate it if you didn't tell Papa and G about us, or what happened with us. There is no point anymore."

"I hadn't planned to," Dom comes back. "I never thought you would cheat on someone."

"That is because I didn't, but you are never going to believe that. So, I'm not going to waste my energy anymore."

For the first time since I walked into the apartment, I see a flicker of doubt cross Doms face, but it is too little too late. I have spent the last month pining and worrying for a man who didn't deserve it.

"If you're not lying, why would Rory sit here this evening and confirm it?" Dom says, quietly.

"He didn't," I reply, thinking back to the coffee shop conversation, Rory told me everything that he spoke to Dom about. He was the trustworthy one here.

"I think its best we stay away from each other, for a while," I state, and Dom opens his mouth to say something but closes it again, before nodding.

Silence engulfs us, and as I look over to Dom, I see a lone tear roll down his cheek. But it's a crocodile tear. It means nothing, but the nerve of the man to sit there and pretend to cry at the situation.

"Fake tears? Really? You'd better wipe that away, Papa is due any second,"

Dom at least has the decency to look shocked, but at this second, I really don't care. I just want Dom out of my sight and away from this apartment, and as if the universe can hear me, there is a knock on the apartment door. Going over, I open it and see Papa standing there.

"I can't stay long," Papa says, striding into the apartment, which works for me.

"Oh, okay. Dom is ready to go," I say over to him.

Papa stops in the living room and looks from me to Dom and back to me, his brows creased, but he doesn't say anything. I have a feeling he thinks more is going on than what I have said.

"Sorry it didn't work out, Dom," I say, trying to keep my voice friendly. "See you around." As Papa pushes him out of the apartment.

I know that I should go and show Papa how to transport Dom from chair to car, but I can't. The door closing on the apartment is the final straw. My heart shatters into a thousand pieces, and I sink to the floor, feeling nothing but pain. Tears start streaming down my cheeks, and I am not sure they will ever stop.

Pulling out my cell, I text the one person I know who will come, Rory. Each word causing more pain than I thought possible.

Me and Dom broke up.