Chapter 12: Danil

My life has been in complete turmoil from the moment I heard the crash. It never even crossed my mind that Dom and Alessia could be involved, until something told me to go and look. When I arrived on the scene, I didn't recognize the car, so I wasn't really concerned, but then I had looked closely at the passenger seat and there was no mistaking Dom slumped in the seat. That was the point when my world shattered. Seeing the person you love most in the world in that situation, knowing that you can do nothing.

I have no idea how long I stood transfixed to the spot, it was probably only minutes, but it felt like hours. I can vaguely remember a policeman coming up to me and asking if I knew who the occupants in the car were. I think I gave him the names, but now I'm not a hundred percent sure.

Every fiber in my being had wanted to travel in the ambulance with Dom, but I couldn't figure out what I would say once we reached the hospital, as far as why I was there. So instead, I stood and watched as they loaded him inside and took him away. I know now that this is the point that I should have walked away, but again I didn't. I stood and watched while a stranger worked on Alessia and then declared her dead.

I had never experienced pain like this in my life. I hadn't known how to process it. Instead, it was at this point that I turned away and walked to the other side of the cordoned off area and sat on the sidewalk. I felt so alone in the world.

"Danil." Hearing my name, I looked up to see Rory staring at me. His concern was so clear in his eyes.

"Sorry," I mumble.

But I know that Rory is the last person that I need to apologize to. Over the last three weeks, he has been amazing. Don't get me wrong, Ambrose and Remy have been wonderful too, but Rory has been there from the start. I have no idea why he came back to the scene that day, but when I needed a friend the most he was there. He never left my side that first day, insisting that I shouldn't be alone. He listened when I explained that Dom and I weren't out as a couple to the family and so I wasn't sure about going to the hospital.

Out of everything, that's what hurt me the most. When G had been in his accident, my Papa rushed to his side. Had come out and exposed their relationship in one move. Me, I stayed at home, waiting. Did this make me a coward? Would Dom hate me for not doing the bedside vigil waiting for him to wake?

"Has there been any news?" Rory asks, as he places a coffee cup in front of me.

"No, not yet. He's still the same. Which is good," I say over to him, because this is what I'm being told every day.

I have tried to text Papa or G every day, just to ask how he is doing. Nothing over the top. Just a simple, any news? And then, keep me updated.

"Well, we know that is good," Rory says, coming over to sit on the couch with me. "Dom seems like a fighter. He'll wake up."

I cannot help my chuckle at Rory's faith, he has been like this from the start. Telling me that Dom will be okay, and that I just need to remain positive. I don't think Rory believes this one hundred percent, but it's still nice to hear.

"You only knew him for a few hours. How can you be so sure?" I ask, as I take a sip of my coffee.

"I happen to be an excellent judge of character. Look, I stayed friends with you even after you blew me off." But I can see the smile he's trying to hide.

"Seriously, with that again. You know we're better off as friends. Honestly, I have no idea how I would've coped without you these last few weeks," I tell him.

I knew that Rory was a good guy before, but the last few weeks had confirmed that. On the afternoon of the accident, he had brought me home, stayed with me, and had laid on the couch, letting me stare at the phone. Held me as I cried when I eventually got a phone call from Papa to say there had been an accident, and that Dom was in a coma and Alessia had died.

Of course, he'd insisted that I wasn't to be left alone that night and had slept on the couch, making sure that I ate some breakfast, and since then, he has come over every day after work to make sure that I've eaten. He usually stays a few hours before heading home. I've told him that he doesn't need to keep checking up on me, but he insists, and I have to admit, I do like having the company.

"Right, we have chicken and vegetables tonight for dinner," Rory states as he gets up off the couch.

"Rory, you are going to make someone a wonderful husband one day," I tell him.

Rory just gives me a smile and continues over to the kitchen, and I can hear him plating up food when my cell phone suddenly starts ringing and Papas name flashes up on the screen. Just like every other time he has called, my heart rate increases, and I have to control my breathing so that I sound normal on the phone. But each time I'm also silently sending a prayer into the world that this isn't the phone call that tells me Dom is gone.

Swiping my finger across the screen, I answer the call and put the cell to my ear. "Hey Papa."

"Danil," Papa breathes out, and there is a note of something in his voice. Something that hasn't been there for weeks, he sounds almost happy.

"What is it?" I ask.

"Dom," he states before pausing. "He woke up."

Dom's awake. Did Papa seriously just say that Dom is awake?

"Dom's awake?" I repeat, and try my best not to sound too eager.

"Yeah, a few hours ago. One of the nurses called Gio. I don't think they were supposed to, but Ernesto and Celeste were never going to tell us, and I think the nurse knew that," Papa explains.

"Is he allowed visitors?" I ask, because I need to know when I am finally going to be able to see him.

"Gio and Matt are going to try and go see him tomorrow. Would you like to join us? I know that this whole thing has shaken you up, even if you tried to hide it," Papa says, and I should have known that he could read me. As long as he doesn't figure out what the real reason is.

I had never explained to Papa or G that I had been with Dom and Alessia that day. Again, I couldn't actually explain why. I'm starting to think it's a reaction to the shock that my body went through, witnessing everything.

"Papa," I say, deciding that now is the time to come clean. "I was there that day, the day of the accident. Me, Dom, Alessia and some friends had met up for some drinks."

"Alessia had been drinking?" And I can hear the dismay in his voice. He probably thought that the accident had been Alessias fault.

"God, Papa, no. Alessia was having soft drinks," I tell him quickly, and I'm able to pick up the audible sigh of relief.

"So, when did you leave?" Papa asks.

"Just after the stranger working on Alessia shook his head," I whisper.

"Turns out the stranger was Dr. Winston," Papa says, and that is a name that sounds familiar.

"Do we know him?"

"He was the doctor who looked after Gio. In fact, he's the doctor who has looked after all the Romanos. So, Dom is in good hands."

Knowing that it was the doctor that was working on Alessia makes it somehow slightly more bearable. I had been impressed with him when he was treating G, and I know that he would have done anything and everything to keep Alessia alive.

"Danil, are you still there?" Papa asks down the line.

"Yes, Papa, Im still here."

"I wish you had told us, that must have been awful to witness," Papa states, and he isn't wrong. "And I don't like the thought of you dealing with that on your own."

"I haven't been. Rory's been here," I say.

"Who's Rory?" And even through the seriousness of the conversation I catch the hint of wonder in Papas voice.

"Rory is a good friend," I start. "He was there that day too. He's been checking up on me."

"Well, I will look forward to meeting this friend." Papa puts too much emphasis on the word friend.

"Papa," I start, but am quickly interrupted.

"Look, I have to get going, Ill let you know when we can go tomorrow."

"Thanks for calling and telling me about Dom," I tell him before saying bye and hanging up the call.

Looking over at the kitchen, I see Rory staring at me. There's a smile on his face, but strangely, I don't think it reaches his eyes.

"Did I hear you right, is Dom awake?" Rory asks.

"Yeah. I'm hoping to be able to go see him tomorrow."

"See, I told you there was nothing to worry about," Rory replies, before turning away and going back to sorting out food.

I feel like the weight of an elephant has lifted off me. A weight that I hadn't even been aware I was carrying. I had been too scared to admit that I was worried about what I would do if Dom had died. Going to Alessia's funeral had been tough, but going to my secret boyfriend's would have been complete torture.

Standing in the waiting room, I try not to look at my watch. How long has it been since G left with Matt? I would have thought that they would have messaged by now to say that we can go and see him. I have the urge to pace the room, but don't. I just sit next to Papa and wait. Finally, Papa's cell beeps.

"Its Gio," Papa says as he swipes at the screen to open the message. "We can go up."

It takes everything I have not to jump and dash out the door, even though I have no idea where we would be heading. Instead, I slowly stand and follow Papa out of the room and into the ICU ward, and then finally there he is, my Dom. I should go over to him, but I just stand next to Papa and let him talk first. It's just that I have no idea how to act or what to say. Suddenly, I hate the fact that we never told anyone about us. I should have been here from the start.

Lost in my own thoughts, I haven't really been paying close attention to what is being said, but then I see the tears begin to roll down Doms face, and I don't care anymore. Dom needs me and I need to hold him, but before I can even take a step, Matt is there by his bed, holding him. With every sob that wracks his body, my heart breaks for the pain Dom must be in.

Eventually, the exhaustion overtakes Dom. His sobs lessen, and we all stand there watching as his eyelids close and he falls asleep. Matt gently places his head on the pillow and lowers the bed. I never even got to talk to him.

"I think we need to let him sleep," Matt states.

Everyone in the room nods in agreement, but I don't want to leave him. I want to, no I need to stay here with him.

"Why don't I stay?" The words fall from my mouth. "You guys go and get some food. This way if he does wake up again, at least there is a friendly face here."

"Are you sure, Danil?" Papa asks, looking at me with a strange expression on his face, and I wonder if he has figured out what was going on.

"Yeah. I am sure," I repeat, and make my way over to the chair beside the bed, making a big show of sitting down and pulling out my cell to look at it.

"Thanks Danil," G says. "That's very kind of you. We'll come back in about an hour."

Finally, I have Dom to myself, but I still wait a few minutes before making a move. Just in case someone comes back. When the coast is finally clear, I slip my phone back into my pocket while getting out of the chair.

Leaning over the rail, I try to take him in. His face still has some of the tell-tale signs of bruises, but they are beginning to fade. I brush my hand over his hand, gently, the last thing I want to do is wake him. He just looks so peaceful, and I cannot help but lean over and kiss his forehead.

"Danil," Dom murmurs, his eyelids fluttering for a moment.

"I'm here, sweetie," I whisper over to him. "Get some sleep. I'll be here when you wake."

A small smile appears on his face at my words before his face relaxes again as sleep takes him back. When I'm sure he is settled, I move the chair around so that I can see him and take hold of his hand, making sure to watch the cannula he has. I don't do anything other than hold his hand, and run my thumb along the side of it.

When my cell beeps, the sound seems to echo around the room, and when Dom shifts, I think it might have woken him, but his eyes stay closed. Letting go of Doms hand, I pull out my cell to see who on earth could be texting me, and smile slightly when I see it's Rory.

R: How is he?

I confirmed with Rory earlier that I didn't need him to come over this evening as I was going to visit Dom, and it was so nice of him to check on him.

D: Haven't spoken to him much. He fell asleep soon after we arrived. I am just sitting with him while the others get a coffee.

I know that Rory is not going to leave it there, and sure enough, I see the speech bubbles appear, letting me know that a message is being written.

R: He will know that you are there, and he will be so happy to see you when he wakes up. Pass on my best to him and tell him I'll see him soon.

I don't bother to reply to Rory and instead, slip my cell back into my pocket and go back to holding Doms hand.

It must only be about thirty minutes later when Dom starts shifting again and his eyes gently flutter open.

"Danil," Dom whispers like he doesn't think I'm there.

Jumping to my feet, I lean over the bed and plaster the biggest smile I can on my face.

"I'm here, Dom."

"Thought you were a dream," Dom says, and turns his head in my direction.

"No, not a dream," I tell him as I lean down and gently press my lips to his.

"The others?" Dom exclaims as l lean back.

"They're not here. I sent them for coffee. Do you want to sit up?"

Dom nods his head and l look for the control that Matt used to lower the bed, pushing the button to raise Dom up, and when he's just inches from me, I place another kiss on his lips. I have been denied these lips for three weeks and I plan to make the most of them.

"I have missed you," I whisper to him.

"Missed you too," Dom says back.

"You've been in a coma," I smile over to him. "How on earth could you have missed me?"

"When I woke up," Dom explains. "Can you sit on the bed next to me?"

"Not with the side rail," I tell him.

"Think they fold down."

I look at the side railing of the bed. Grabbing hold of it, I shift it about until something clicks and it slides down, and I'm able to get onto the bed with him. My initial intention was just to sit next to him, with my feet dangling over the edge, but now that I have access to his entire body I need to have more.

Moving so that I am half on my side, not the most comfortable position, and watching for the tubing, I push my arm under his shoulders and pull him next to me, and I can feel the warmth of his body seeping into my soul. Healing the part of my soul that had missed him, missed this.

"Have you spoken to the doctor?" Dom says, but doesn't make any effort to look at me.

"No," I replied, wondering where he's going with this conversation. "He was here when we arrived. Why?"

"I'm paralyzed," Dom says, and he finally turns to look at me and my heart breaks all over again. The pain and anguish in his eyes are as clear as day.

"Oh Dom," I say, and pull him to me harder.

"They say it's not permanent, that it's the result of my head injury."

"Well, thats good," I say to him.

"Maybe, but doctors can be wrong, and well…" Dom's words trail off and a small ball of worry forms in the pit of my stomach.

"Well, what?" I ask.

"Well, I'm sure you wouldn't want to stay with someone in a wheelchair."

Seriously, that's where he is going with this. I know that this is just the shock talking, but I need him to understand that I don't plan on going anywhere.

"Wheels or not. I don't plan on going anywhere," I say as firmly as I can.

"G said that you've been really shaken up. Are you okay?" Dom asks.

"You're in a hospital bed and asking me if I'm okay?" I cannot help my laugh. Even in a hospital bed Dom is thinking of others.

"I'm okay," I tell him honestly, because there is no point lying to him. "I only admitted to Papa yesterday that I was there the day of the accident."

"G did say something, I think," Dom says, and he tries but fails to stifle a yawn.

"Tired?" I ask him.

"A little, but I only just woke up and you're here."

"You need to rest. You know that sleeping is your bodys way of healing. Now that youre awake I will come back and visit."

Dom doesn't say anything more, but I watch as he tries to fight sleep. Every time his eyes close, he opens them again but soon they stay shut and his breathing evens out. I place one last kiss on his forehead before getting off the bed and putting the side rail back in place, before sitting back in the chair.

I need to think of a reason to come back every day and see him. Something I should have done from the second he went into the ambulance. Hell, I don't need to think of a reason. I need to turn around and tell my family that Dom is my boyfriend. That he has been for months.

"He is coming home with us!" I hear a woman yell.

"Like hell he is," a voice that sounds like G's answers.

Getting up from the chair, I quickly check to make sure that Dom is still sleeping before going to investigate. G and Matt are standing opposite a woman who, I guess, is their mother, all three faces red with rage.

"He needs some place flat with his chair," Matt says, sounding a little calmer than G.

"No, you are not taking him. You will just corrupt him," The woman almost screams at them.

"Momma, please, if you won't listen to us, listen to the doctors. Dom needs to stay somewhere flat."

That, that right there is how I can make sure I spend every day with Dom. He can stay with me. My apartment is big enough for him to freely move around, but I know that they are going to find it really weird when I suggest it. I will need to play the ‘best for Dom' card.

"How about my place? My apartment is only three rooms, really. All on one floor and accessed by a lift," I say.

They all turn to face me, and I wait for their answer, mentally crossing my fingers.