Chapter 4

J ustine let out a sigh before realizing she'd just agreed to go to the reunion for Angela. "What the hell was I thinking?"

Thankfully, there wasn't a reply, and she moved into the bedroom going through the closet to see what she had still. She didn't have what you would call a ‘grown up' closet on a good day. Most of it was more likely to be worn by a teenager—late teen at the most, thanks to her job. She shook her head knowing she wasn't about to walk into that reunion wearing the same dress she'd worn to church twice now as she grabbed her bag and headed out for a little shopping.

She spotted a dress in the window of Luann's Dress Shop that didn't scream teenager or old lady and headed inside to see what else she might have in stock. She browsed the racks keeping to the back of the store when she spied Tyler's sister Caroline looking at the dresses on the other side.

"Buying a dress for your brother's wedding?" Luann asked, checking on the woman.

"Yes, Mom insisted we all buy new dresses. To be honest I don't think we'll need them though."

"Why's that?" Luann asked looking for gossip.

"Because my gut says they're going to forego the church wedding and elope since Mom's being so overbearing with the wedding preparation. I saw Angela with a suitcase earlier. Don't be surprised if we find out Sunday they're already married," Caroline said with a smile and Justine shook her head knowing that wasn't going to happen as a dress caught her attention.

She went to try it on, loving the way it fit, and she knew without a doubt that she would wear it that night. She wondered what Tyler would think of it and how long it'd take him to come to her after the event was over. Not long if the last few weeks were anything to go by.

Then again, she was delivering a blow in front of their entire class. He might not be too pleased about it. She pushed those thoughts away and took the dress up to the register holding in a groan when Caroline came up behind her.

"Well, well…I didn't expect to see you still in town," Caroline said glancing at the dress with a smirk. "Trying to not look like a teenager still, are we?"

"Caroline," Luann said giving her a look that put a light sparkle in Justine's eyes before turning her gaze onto the dress she'd chosen. "It's about time someone bought this dress. I can't tell you how many people have tried it on and put it away Justine."

"I suppose there's something good about being petite in a town of giants after all," she stated knowing the mini-dress was likely too short for many of them but on her it hit just right.

"I wouldn't call all of us giants, but you do have a point," the older woman agreed. "So have you decided to move home or are you just enjoying the hotel's amenities that much?"

"There is something about not having to deep clean, but no, I'm simply on an extended vacation. I have about five years' worth, so I decided to take a break after finishing my last assignment," she said although it wasn't necessarily the whole truth, just a version of it she was using with most that asked. The truth was something she couldn't talk about, not if she wanted to stay sane and keep everyone out of her head.

"I'm sure your Momma would like a different answer to that," Luann stated, and she nodded knowing her mother hadn't been shy about the hints that she should move home for good.

"Oh she would," she replied with a smile. "But there are always a million things to do back at work or I could look for something different—try my hand at something new. I just haven't decided where to go next yet."

"I'm sure you'll figure it out when you need to," Luann assured her handing over the bag.

"Thank you. Caroline, that's a lovely choice," she added seeing the dress she'd grabbed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Caroline asked her as her eyes narrowed.

"Nothing sinister, I have no issues with anyone in town unlike some people," Justine stated before leaving. She decided to stop at the salon and get a haircut, she hadn't had a trim for nearly six months and a real cut in three years, and it was past time to start allowing herself to heal—at least a bit.

She walked out of the salon with five inches of hair off the longest part and nearly twelve from around the front. It felt a million times lighter and looked healthier than she remembered it possible to look. She'd given in and had her nails trimmed and painted to go along with her splurge and now she was ready to face her high school class, all possible hundred and fifty of them, without worrying that they'd sense blood.

She dressed and did her makeup a bit more strategically than normal, before pulling her hair over a shoulder with a hair pin to show off the open back on the dress, then slid her phone, id, and room key into a tiny clutch with her lipstick. She was almost to the door when she remembered the reason Angela asked her to attend the reunion in the first place.

Justine turned back around and grabbed the note to head out to the local mid-scale bar and grill chosen to host the event. It was in the middle of town and easy to get to walking. Most places were other than the residential area where her family lived. Most of her family and Tyler's officially lived in the county versus the city. Some of them were within city limits, but they hadn't expanded them in over a hundred years, so most would still considered the town small, although the surrounding area wasn't quite so tiny any longer. It was big enough for them to have their own hospital now even, a county hospital, but it meant not having to go all the way up to Seattle for every and all tests at least.

The place was crowded when she arrived nearly thirty minutes after the official start time. She wasn't too surprised considering the better part of those in attendance lived either in town or within an hour of it still.

"Justine Crawford as I live and breathe," Carey said giving her a full once over, "damn you're still fine as ever. Now tell me why we never got together in high school?"

"Because you always were a jackass," she told the creep. "I didn't fall for your BS back then and I sure as hell won't now. Don't worry; I'm sure there are plenty of desperate women who'll gladly listen to you regale them about your high school basketball glory days. I just won't be one of them."

"I can show you what you're missing, sexy," Carey suggested with a lewd look, but she shook her head at him and moved further into the place looking for Tyler.

It took her nearly forty minutes to find him, thanks to the crowd constantly stopping her to ask what she'd been up to, but she saw the flash of desire hit Tyler the instant he spied her. She ignored a few of the girls that she'd hung around in high school as she moved towards the small group he was talking to and lifted her chin as the room quieted slightly.

"Justine Crawford? Please tell me you're single," Evan said making her give them a smirk.

"Not for you," she replied waiting for Tyler to finish his sip.

"What brings you over to our little group Justine?" Randy asked and she calmly opened her bag taking the note out as Tyler watched her closely.

"Angela asked me to give this to you, she figured it wouldn't make you hate me anymore than normal Tyler," she stated holding it between them.

"And why's that?" he asked, taking the note while mentally trying to figure out what it might say as he fought the need to pull her into his arms and ravish her. She was stunning and he wanted everyone to know she was his and his alone.

"You'll see," she said with a shrug as he opened the note reading it before looking back at her in confusion. "I guess sorry is in order, although I think Angela made a wise decision. I mean anyone has to be better than the arrogant Anderson family, right?"

"Says the stuck-up snob of the Crawford family?" he countered wading the note up as he shot a glare at her for their crowd's sake. "So you know what the note says?"

"Not word for word but I was with Angela when Daniel showed up. The kiss he laid on her spoke volumes and well, she certainly wasn't fighting him off—better luck next time I guess," she added with another smirk.

"Hold on—Daniel as in Angela's ex-husband showed up in town a week before your wedding?" Evan asked Tyler in surprise. "Man that has to suck."

"I'll live," Tyler replied knocking back the rest of his drink. "You just couldn't resist from doing it this publicly could you Justine?"

"Well you know what they say about karma—eventually it gets everyone," Justine stated smiling further as the enjoyment of their old banters filled her with desire. Well, mostly it was the memories of what came the next time they were completely alone that filled her with hunger. "Besides Angela asked me to deliver it to you, even said you'd be here tonight, so if you're going to be mad at anyone shouldn't it be the fiancée that just ran out on you?"

"Why be mad at her when it's so much easier to dislike you?"

"Ooooh that hurts— not ," she said with a laugh.

"I swear you two, does everything have to be turned into a fight?" Tiffany asked shaking her head as she moved over to pull her away. "You'd think you were exes or something the way you fight."

"As if I'd ever be that insane, everyone knows the Andersons are nothing but self-centered creeps."

"While the Crawfords are whiny little brats," Tyler countered enjoying the public volleys because it simply increased his desire for her. "You've always been a baby Justine, isn't it time to grow up?"

"I'm fully grown Tyler, some of us just didn't let ourselves go."

"Are you seriously saying I've let myself go?" Tyler questioned with a chuckle.

"Compared to Daniel's form—well, I certainly can see why Angela would choose him over you," she teased knowing quite well just how incredible Tyler's body still was, more so than ten years ago really.

"Okay you two, that's enough," Tiffany said with a slight laugh before pulling her away from the group. She led her to the other side of the bar getting them drinks before lifting a brow at her adding, "Alright you have to admit that Tyler is still gorgeous."

"I admit nothing when it comes to the Andersons," she said with a shrug.

"Don't you think it's time to let the stupid family feud die? I mean what's it even about anyway?" Tiffany questioned.

"Longstanding pride? I don't know—I just know that Tyler rubs me entirely the wrong way, always has and likely always will," she said before letting it go, forcing herself to withstand the evening until she could make it back to the hotel.

The instant Tyler was inside the suite he pushed her back up against the door, his lips covering hers, devouring her while her hands held onto him tightly.

"Fuck, you are beautiful, Just," he groaned carrying her into the bedroom, sitting down on the bed to take in the whole effect of the dress as she stood before him.

"You like the dress?" she asked massaging his shoulders lightly.

"Love it—and you honey," he said, and she kissed him until he forgot about anything but sating his need for her.

She laid, listening to his heart beating inside his chest, and knew it was what she wanted, which meant it was time for her to leave. She couldn't be in a relationship, not after everything she'd been through in the last few months.

"Angela didn't know about us, did she?" Tyler asked, feeling her body tense slightly as he ran his hands through her hair.

"No. At first I thought she might suspect something, but she didn't, and Daniel really did show up and convince her to leave with him. Caroline saw her with a suitcase and thought perhaps you two were running off to elope instead of going through with the wedding."

"How do you know that?"

"I saw her at Luann's when I went to find a dress for tonight. She certainly seems to be into the feud."

"Isn't everyone but us?" he questioned with a kiss to her forehead.

"I suppose," she mused. "I certainly won't miss it when I leave."

"When you leave? And when exactly is that going to be?" he asked tightening his hold on her.

"I was thinking next week," she said refusing to look up at him.

"Why now? Last night you said you didn't have any idea of when or where you were going to go next."

"We can't fool ourselves into thinking this will work Ty. It'll be easier if we just end it now than waiting a few more days—weeks."

"So Angela leaves and suddenly you decide to get the hell out of dodge too? What are you so scared of Justine?" Tyler asked turning them until she was laying on her back forcing her to meet his gaze.

"Nothing—we both know this would never end well. If our families found out…"

"The hell with our families," he snapped, cutting her off. "I want you Just. I've always wanted you."

"Right now, that sounds great but two, three, five months down the road when it's just us and we haven't heard from a single member of our respective families we'd start blaming the other and that would ruin what we had."

"You're just scared, baby. Why? Why are you so scared to take a chance with me ?" he questioned. "I could see not rushing into something with someone new, but we're different. We've always been different, Just."

"That's not what this is about Tyler."

"No? From my perspective it is, everything you're used to would change, wouldn't it? The way your family looks at you would change, the way this town looks at you would, and you can't handle it."

"Are you saying you can?" she questioned knowing it was partially true and if he focused on that he wouldn't be wondering about the rest. "You wouldn't care that your family thought you'd lost your mind? You could walk down the street here holding my hand and not care about the looks the others tossed at us?"

" Yes , because I'd have you . You mean more to me than anything else in this entire world Justine. I've lived ten years without you, and it was miserable, do you really wish that on me for the next ten?" he questioned gently brushing the hair from her eyes.

"No," she sighed honestly. She didn't want him to be miserable, but she also didn't want to admit the truth of where she'd been the last five years, what she'd been doing that led her to be who she now was. Talking about it wouldn't change anything. It wouldn't change the fact that she failed and damages that'd come from it. Damages that she alone hadn't endured.

"Then why talk of leaving town? Don't you know the only thing that'll do is make me miss you more than ever—come after you this time because nothing in this world could possibly make me give up on us again," he warned and she slid her arms around him, wanting and needing to be as close to him as possible. It was the only way to stop the underlying dread that constantly plagued her.

"No more talk of up and leaving?" he asked, and she shook her head no allowing herself to enjoy what they had for now still.

She slipped off to sleep and found herself back in the memories she wanted desperately to avoid. They pulled her deeper into the nightmare and she nearly screamed aloud, bolting upright as she forced herself awake. A light shudder ran through her, and she felt Tyler waking beside her.

"Just, baby, what's wrong?" he asked feeling her pulse race beneath his touch.

"Nothing," she lied.

"Don't try that nothing crap on me Justine Elena Crawford," he said bringing her gaze around to him at his use of her full name. He only ever used it when he was royally ticked or ready to fight tooth and nail to get what he wanted. "You've been skittish ever since you got back in town. What happened?"

"I…I had a bad relationship okay?" she said giving him another half-truth.

It was better than the full story and she wasn't about to admit to what she'd been doing the last five years. The ‘relationship' wasn't real on her side and honestly only part of her reason for being freaked out. She'd been unable to sleep with John, infuriating him that after eighteen months together she was still hesitant—when really he was part of her UC cover story, and she couldn't stand his touch—turning him into another monster she had to deal with.

"Meaning?" he questioned needing to know why she refused to acknowledge what he knew they had.

"Meaning I'm not the same person anymore—I don't trust people Tyler. I just see the bad and pain that's likely to come from being close to someone and knowing how our families are likely to react…"

"You want to push me away? Me?" Tyler asked wrapping his arms around her, pulling her back against his chest to hold onto her, show her the safety of his presence in her life. "After everything we shared do you honestly believe I would ever hurt you Just?"

"It's not rational Tyler, I know that, but it's who I am now."

"It's who you're letting yourself be now," he argued resting his cheek against hers. "You know with everything you are that I would never hurt you , baby. You wouldn't be here with me right now if you didn't know that."

"Rationally yes but trusting someone isn't rational Tyler."

"Like hell it isn't, it's the most rational thing in the world, and you gave me your total trust before—you know it's still there."

"Says who? Maybe I simply can't get enough sex," she said, trying to stop him from pushing her to admit that she did trust him still, love him still.

"If that was true you'd have taken any of the others up on their offers tonight instead of waiting until I could get here to you," he said smiling, dropping a quick kiss on her cheek. "You want this as much as I do Justine."

"But my head tells me how much of a mess it'll cause and the pain that will come with it and it makes me want to run away," she argued.

"Which is precisely why you can't listen to your head, listen to your heart and you'll see it's saying the same as mine," Tyler replied, and she sighed knowing it was true. There wasn't a single moment in the last ten years that she hadn't loved him beyond measure. "You're scared, I get that. I'm scared I'll lose you again but I'm not letting it keep me from being with you. You are the only person in the entire world who can destroy me. You have this power over me, and I know how easy it would be for you to take it and run but I trust in us enough to give us another chance—do you?"

"I want to, but I don't know if I'm strong enough to face it all Tyler," she said moving so she could see his face clearly.

"Then let me be strong for both of us for now. Stop looking over your shoulder expecting the worst, Just. Lean on me and we'll make this work. Stay—here with me," he added with a soft kiss.

She gave into him, knowing she couldn't leave him yet, "We stay like this—hidden from everyone else?"

"Until we're both in the same place and can face our families together," he agreed holding her until she fell back asleep. "Just like this Justine, always," he whispered against her ear smiling when she sighed relaxing further into his hold allowing him to sleep again without worrying she'd disappear before he woke.